Marvin Martian vs. ET
vs. 
These two meet at an alien convention on Riza.
The fight ensues because Marvin is offended when ET attempts to scratch
his back on the brush on Marvin's hat. Marvin pulls out his disintegrating
pistol, Et's finger begins to glow. The crowd backs off.
"Mmmm! I'm going to blow you up.", Marvin
says and pulls the trigger. The disintegrating pistol disintegrates.
"Well that's never happened before.", Marvin says looking at his empty
hand. "I'll have to ask for my money back."
Meanwhile Et has grown bored and is toddling off
after an M&M's vendor. "Yum!" , he exclaims snatching a bag and
tearing into them.
Marvin starts after him. "Wait! Wait!
I'm not finished with you yet!"
Et has meanwhile put an M&M in his mouth and
spit it out. "What in hell are these!", he exclaims breaking character
and speaking in a distinct Brooklyn accent. "These aren't Reeses
Pieces!"
"Reeses what?", someone in the crowd asks, looking
confused.
Marvin speaks up. "I think it's an 80's thing."
The crowd all nod and an earnest discussion begins
between Alf and Mork about the "Where's the Beef?" commercials. Both
find them quite funny.
Marvin fishes in his pocket for something.
"Where did I put that? Delays, delays!"
ET is encouraged to try a peanut M&M and is
told the story about the green one. He seems intrigued.
"Ah!", Marvin exclaims. "Here it is!
The Illudium Q36 Explosive Space Modulator!"
ET's eyes get wider than usual and he begins to
toddle away while Marvin tries to get his Zippo to light. Finally,
Marvin lights the thing, throws it and holds his ears.
Riza explodes. Marvin's hat with feet toddles
around on the little clod left. "I claim this planet in the name
of Mars!", he exclaims.
Winner: Marvin Martian
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