Whatever The Hell Land

Welcome to "Whatever the Hell Land". For those who remember my old page, the premise will still remain the same...i'm putting whatever the hell I want here. This is a pretty groovy land filled with my funny descriptions of everything in life. And actually i'm working on a book that is pretty much based on those experiences. Well here goes nothing...

Now Presenting...
Matt Carlton's Formula of Life

This is the formula I follow everyday. I think you'll find it pretty enlightening...

These are the three main variables of life, and "poop" is the common denominator. I follow this formula to the "T" (that's probably why I have no life!).

And No Page Would Be Complete Without...
My Homemade Top 10 List

Yeah I know everyone does one of these, and I'm the biggest bandwagon jumper there is! So here it goes...

TOP 10 THINGS I SAY WHILE I'M DRIVING

10. Richard Smack-Ass
9. Stupid Trucker Guy who doesn't know a turn signal from his left butt-cheek
8. Do I have a bumper sticker that says, "pass me, cut in front of me, and then drive 20 MPH under the speed limit"?
7. I want to ram this guy, but I have 3 more years of payments left on the truck.
6. If I were a little less sane, I'd pull you over and give you a ticket. I can do that you know.
5. Come on people now, drive like a retard. Everybody get together, lets cut off one another right now. (it's a song...sing along!)
4. That's it, you're fired.
3. I wish there was a 500 mile long monorail. How easy would that be!
2. Beam me up, Scotty.
1. KITT, give me a scan of these cars in front of me. Are there 8 year old children driving or are they naturally morons.

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