OK, here are the real answers to those letters, and they're not nearly as good as your answers!

>Letter 1: My girlfriend told me the reason Mike never smiles is because his false teeth might fall out. Please tell me the truth. Don't get me wrong; I dig the Monkees.

Mike does not have false teeth and it's really a shame your girlfriend has never seen Mike smile. He has the grooviest smile ever!

>Letter 2: Is it true that two of the Monkees wear earplugs when they are recording songs because they can't stand the music?

None of the Monkees wear earplugs while recording. Mike does wear them on stage, not because he doesn't like the music, but because the screams are near-deafening.

>Letter 3: I recently read that Mike has a wooden leg which is why he never likes to wear shorts. I also heard that Micky wears false teeth because Coco knocked his out in a fight when he was a child. Are either of these rumors true?

No. Mike's legs are both his own. Micky and Coco had their childhood spats, like all children, but they never got beyond the point of arguing.

>Letter 4: Can you tell me, is it true that Mike got fired by Bert Schneider because he accidently broke his arm? I sure hope not.

There are still four Monkees named Davy, Peter, Micky, and MIKE. No additions or subtractions or replacements have been made and we're hoping there won't ever be.

>Letter 5: My girlfriend told me that Peter had to drop out of the Monkees because he cut off two of his fingers with a power saw and can't play any instruments.

Peter is still a very important one-quarter of the Monkees and he still has 10 fingers.

>Letter 6: I heard that Mike got his ears pierced so that when he's buying earrings for Phyllis he can first try them on to see how they look. Is this true?

Mike does not have pierced ears. Neither does Phyllis. Mike often picks out Phyllis' clothes, but because of his good taste, nothing needs to be tried on beforehand.

>Letter 7: I'm a big fan of the Monkees, but I heard that Davy was hit by a semi and is now in a coma. Some even say he is dead now. Is any of this true?

Rumors like this are usually false and this is no exception. Davy is too busy working each day at Screen Gems to spend time in the hospital in a coma.

>Letter 8: I have one question. Does Davy use a hearing aid or does he need one?

No.

>Letter 9: I heard that on the Monkee set they have policemen because the Monkees are constantly arguing and fighting. What about this?

The Monkees get along great off the set, but on the set they're the greatest. They really groove together and I guess that's what makes their show so natural!

>Letter 10: It's going around that on tour last summer Samantha Juste was trying to get in on one of the stage shows because Micky likes her. Micky got mad at her when she got on stage and slapped her in the face! I don't think Micky would ever do that.

You are most certainly right. Micky would never do that. This story is the wildest tale I've heard in a long time. Sammy was along on the Monkees summer tour, but she always watched the show from backstage or the stage wings, and certainly never tried to "get in on the act."

>Letter 11: I heard that Mike doesn't like to wear his wool hat. Is this true?

It was Mike's "thing" to wear his wool hat for many years. Then, when he had to wear it every day, the "specialty" wore off. However, he doesn't mind wearing it. The only thing Mike doesn't like is being CALLED "Wool Hat."

>And the last Letter 12 (my favorite): Here is a rumor that's going around where I live. Please tell me it isn't true, for I'm a dear Monkees fan. I heard that Peter and Davy were lost in some kind of desert in the Arctic and that they still haven't been found.

It makes a clever story, but the Monkees have never been in the Arctic, and as far as I know, they aren't planning any trips there in the near future.

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