TITLE: A Fate Worse Than Garlic
AUTHOR: Small Woodinat Creature
RATING: NC-17 slash. If you are a minor or easily offended, fly away.
SUMMARY: Giles and Xander torture Angelus.
ARCHIVING: Anywhere and everywhere.
OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: All things Buffy belong to Joss and Co. I'm
not making any money off of this. No copyright infringements intended.
Please don't sue me, I need to support my doggie.
NOTE: Thanks to beta readers Te and Viridian, and to Craww, who helped
me come up with a title.
FEEDBACK: I'm a big feedback ho, and not a bit ashamed of it. Show me the
feedback!

Angelus awoke with a jerk. Well, two jerks, actually, namely Giles and Xander. He discovered, to his annoyance, that the two men had chained him to a dungeon wall, and were keeping him compliant with threats of holy water, crosses, and large cloves of garlic.

"What the hell do you want?" he growled in his best "I'm a nasty vampire and I'd kill ya just for snoring too loud" voice.

An unimpressed Giles smiled. Not his usual shy, tweedy, Englishman smile, but a nasty, evil, naughty smile. If he had a mustache, he would have twirled it.

"We want you to scream," said Xander.

"And beg," added Giles.

"And cry like a little girl." Xander's smile was an evil twin of Giles'.

Giles put down the holy water and picked up a huge bullwhip. Angelus kept his growly demeanor all the while thinking Ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck. The librarian stroked the whip's handle. Angelus could have sworn the man was purring.

"Oh no, no, no. See, pain would be too easy. Physical pain is horrible, but you can adapt to physical torture. I learned that quickly with you. If it weren't for little Dru's parlor tricks, you'd still be snapping my fingers like twigs."

Xander ripped off the vampire's clothing.

"Oh. You're going to rape me. Really creative."

Giles grinned again. "No. We're not."

The two humans stripped quickly. Angelus had to admit, Giles had a nice body for an Englishman his age. And that twerp Xander was rather delish as well. He resigned himself to his fate. At least he wasn't getting raped by someone who was ugly. Sure, it may have been a bit shallow, but that was the least of Angelus' bad qualities.

Xander kissed Giles slowly, running his fingers through his lover's chest hair. His hands roamed further, stroking the older man's cock and cupping the balls. Giles bucked into his hand, crushing his lips in the kiss. They reluctantly broke away to pay attention to their captive.

Angelus felt a hand stroking from his shoulder to the small of his back. The back of a pinky ring scraped his skin slightly. Giles. A hot mouth replaced the stroking hand, the tongue tracing along the details of his intricate bird tattoo.

Xander's lips and tongue teased a nipple. Angelus hardened quickly.

"There's *some* life in you, Deadboy!" The teenager nearly cackled. A quick movement, and Angelus' errection was trapped in a cock ring. "No coming for you, lover."

Meanwhile, Giles licked his way down to his ass, pausing to bite and pinch the round buttocks.

"Oh yeah, suck my ass..."

The Englishman stopped immediately, and grabbed Angelus' face in his hands.

"Don't think for one minute that you are in control here. Do you understand?"

Angelus took one look into those cold eyes, and nodded obediently.

The two-pronged assault continued. Xander kissed further, spending entirely too much time playing with his taut abdomen. He licked further down, his mouth encountering Angel's inner thighs, his hipbones, everywhere but his aching cock. Giles moved from his ass to his legs, flicking his tongue on the inside of his knee.

"Oh fuck yeah..." He glanced to see if Giles was going to chastise him for speaking again, but then felt a satisfied chuckle vibrating against his inner knee. The movement served only to arouse him further.

Xander stopped licking for a moment, glancing at the vampire's engorged phallus. "Giles, he's close."

Giles moved to observe Angelus' state. "I believe you're right, Mr. Harris."

"Please. Just fuck me, I don't care how rough you'll be."

"Hmm, let's see, Giles?"

"You forget. I told you we aren't going to rape you."

"Damnit, you guys are as hard as me!"

"So true. Any remedies for that, Xander?"

"I believe so."

The two men kissed deeply, ignoring the shouts and protests of the chained vampire.

"Just fuck me, you assholes!"

Giles swirled his mouth over the cock of a very appreciative Xander.

"Fuck me, you dweeb! Fuckin' goober!"

Giles moved his lips to Xander's ass, licking and sucking slowly.

"Fuck me, you fuckin' limey!"

Giles' lubed fingers probed his lover's ass, gently preparing him.

"You cretin! Assholes! Tweed-wearer!"

"Was that last one supposed to be an insult?"

"Hard to say, Giles. Um, luv?"

"Oh, yes. Allow me to continue."

While Giles fucked Xander's ass, Angelus insulted his person, his parentage, and the doctor who delivered him. They gleefully ignored the insults, cackling while coming together.

"Ok, fine, you've had your little fun together, now would you please fuck me?" Tears were rolling down his cheeks. "Just fuck me, please."

His captors picked up their clothes, regarded the frustrated vampire, and answered in unison.

"Nah."

Angelus' anguished scream followed Xander and Giles as they exited the room.

THE END