Haunted Mansion Script

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 Welcome, foolish mortal... These words have beckoned thousands of curious souls through the doors of the Haunted Mansion since it was first opened nearly thirty years past.


The Foyer



When hinges creak in doorless chambers, when strange and frightening sounds echo through the halls, whenever candlelights flicker, where the air is deathly still, that is the time when ghosts are present, practicing their terror With ghoulish delight.



The guests proceed into the Expanding Room 



Welcome, foolish mortals, to the Haunted Mansion. I am your host, your Ghost Host.

Kindly step all the way in please, and make room for everyone.  There's no turning back now.


Our tour begins here, in this gallery, where you see paintings of some of our guests as they appeared in their corruptible, mortal state.  Your cadaverous palor betrays an aura of forboding, almost as though you sense a disquieting metamorphisis.  Is this haunted room actually stretching? Or is it your imagination, MMMmmm? And consider this dismaying observation, this chamber has no windows, and no doors.

Which offers you this chilling challenge: To find a way out!!! 

Of course, there's always MY way.


The lights go out, lightening flashes, and above the group a corpse hangs from the highest point in the house where there was only a ceiling before.  The lightning is replaced by the sound of someone screaming as they fall which ends with crashing noises as whoever was falling hits.  The lights come on as doors open.


Oh, I didn't mean to frighten you prematurely...  The real chills come later.  Now, as they say, look alive, and we'll continue our little tour. And lets all stay together, please...

There are several prominent ghosts who have retired here, from creepy old crypts all over the world.  Actually we have 999 happy haunts here...but there's room for a thousand...  any volunteers?

If you insist on lagging behind, you may not NEED to volunteer.  
 
And now, a carriage  approaches to take you into the boundless realm of the supernatural.  Take your loved ones by the hand, please, and kindly watch your step.  Oh yes, and no flash pictures please.  We spirits are frightfully sensitive to bright lights.


(alternate)

The carriage that will carry you into the moldering sanctum of the spirit world will accomodate YOU, and one or two loved ones. Kindly watch your step as you board, please.  We spirits haunt our best in gloomy darkness so remember, no flash pictures, please.


The Doom Buggies approach the guests on the veranda, overlooking a foggy night.


Do not pull down on the safety bar please, I will lower it for you.  And heed this warning:  The spirits will materialize only if you remain quietly seated at all times. 


Hallway of doors


We find it delightfully unlivable here in this ghostly retreat.  Every room has wall-to-wall creeps, and hot and cold running chills.  Shhh, listen....

All our ghosts have been dying to meet you. This one can hardly contain himself.

Unfortunatly, they all seem to have trouble getting through.

Perhaps Madame Leota can establish contact, she has a remarkable head for materialising the disembodied.
 

Madam Leota speaks


Serpents and spiders, tail of a rat, call in the spirits, wherever
they're at...


Rap on a table, it's time to respond; Send us a message, from somewhere
beyond...


Goblins and ghoulies, from last Halloween, awaken the spirits with
your tamborine...


Creepies and crawlies, toads in a pond; Let there be music from
regions beyond...


Wizards and witches, wherever you dwell, give us a hint, by
ringing a bell...


The Ballroom


The happy haunts have received your sympathetic vibrations and are beginning to materialize...they're assembling for a swinging wake and they'll be expecting me.  I'll see you there...


The Attic
 

I DO


The Graveyard



When the crypt doors creak,
And the tomb stones quake,
Spooks come out for a swinging wake.
Happy haunts materialize
and begin to vocalize
Grim Grinning Ghosts come out to socalize.


Now don't close your eyes,
and don't try to hide
or a silly spook may sit by your side.
Shrouded in a daft disguise,
they pretend to terrorize.
Grim Grinning Ghosts come out to socalize.


As the moon climbs high o'er the dead oak tree,
spooks arrive for the midnight spree.
Creepy creeps with eerie eyes
start to shriek and harmonize!
Grim Grinning Ghosts come out to socalize.


When you hear the knell of a requiem bell,
weird glows gleam where spirits dwell...
Restless bones etherialize,
rise as spooks of every size
"--Demonical laugh--"




The Crypt


Ah, there you are, and just in time, there's a little matter I forgot to mention... 

Beware of hitchhiking ghosts.

They have selected you to fill our quota and they will haunt you until you return. Now I will raise the safety bar, and the ghosts will follow you home!




If you would like to join our jamboree, there's a simple rule that's compulsory; Mortals pay a token fee, rest in peace--the haunting's free.  So hurry back, we would like your company.


Little Leota


Hurry back, Hurry back. Be sure to bring your death certificate, if you
decide to join us.  Make final arrangements now.  We've been, hmm hmm,
dying to have you. hmm hmm hmm hmm








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