Chapter 26

Lauren and Katie sat in the green room of the venue, as the guys warmed up while the opening act was performing.
"Don't you guys wanna see Nick's little brother perform?" Rachel asked coming through a door near the back of the room.
"Naw, we'll just wait for the guys to go on. I feel kinda light headed anyways"
"Alrighty. Well I'm gonna to have to go back to the dressing room in a minute, do you guys need anything?"
"Oh, so the guys are getting dressed in there huh?" Katie asked, her eyes brightening.
Rachel laughed and nodded her head. "But only authorized personal are allowed in there during the show, such as myself" she smirked.
"Ah, you're no fun. Never were one to break the rules" Katie sighed.
Lauren and Rachel both raised their eyebrows at this.
"Ok, so maybe you were the first one to break ALL the rules, but why can't you do it with this one, Brian won't mind if I come in there"
"The difference is that this is my job, and I'm not going to break the rules just so you can see Brian in a pair of boxers"
"Hey, who said anything about seeing him in his boxers? I was just going to say hi"
"Sure" Rachel laughed. "Well I gotta go, see you girls after the concert. Don't forget to bring your passes with you when it's time to go out to your seats. Oh and watch out for the fans. If they find out that you are…connected with the guys…..they will start assuming stuff, and then things might get a little violent. So try not to give away anything, if you know what I mean, and just keep your cool if some teenage girl tries to rip your hair out, to get into front row"
"God, you'd think this was a riot of some sort, not a concert"
"Well there's some truth to that. Bye guys" she left it at that and walked out the same door she had come through.
"Hey Laur, you wanna follow her?"
"What? No way. How old are you Katie?"
"Oh shut up, come on it will be fun."
"No. I don't want them to be pissed. Besides, we'll see them after the show."
"Fine"
"You just can't wait to see Brian, can you?"
Katie sighed and folded her hands in her lap. "I know I'm being childish. I've never dated a celebrity before, and I'm still unsure of myself around him. It's like, I'm from this tiny little town in Canada, and he's living in Orlando right now. Besides, after this tour, they have the States to do, and then after that, he'll want to do his own thing. See his family I'm sure, and take a vacation. So I don't even know how this thing will work in the end. Long distance relationships never...." she trailed off, and her eyes wandered aimlessly around the room.
Lauren smiled sympathetically. "Do you love him? Well, more importantly, do you love eachother?"
Katie thought for a moment. "I don't know yet. Love is such a strong word, and it means so much. I don't think their has been a real....marker in our relationship that says we love eachother. I mean, I still see him as a good friend, but I know I don't think of him as just a friend" Katie looked confused for a moment, and then shook her head. "That didn't make sense. It's just so confusing. Do relationship's always have to be this complicated?" she asked the ceiling.
"Well I think you need to find out, and soon, whether or not you love him. It's not fair to either of you to continue a "more than friends" relationship, if its not going to go anywhere. It will just end up hurting you and him in the end"
There was a knock at the door, and one of the guys security guards poked his head into the room.
"Show time is in about 10 minutes ladies"
"Thanks" Lauren smiled.
He nodded his head and closed the door softly.
"Well we better get ready to face the heathens"
"Huh?"
"The fans"
"Oh. I get ya"
The girls sat and chatted for a few minutes more, before getting up and grabbing their passes. They could hear the crowd chanting "Backstreet Boys" as soon as the door was opened. Lauren gave Katie a worried look. She was a little disturbed by what Rachel had told her about the fans earlier, and wasn't sure how she would react if a fan harassed her. After all, she had never been to a Backstreet Boys concert before. Katie gave her a reassuring glance and they followed a security guard to their seats. A couple fans gave them strange looks, so Lauren tucked her pass away and sat down carefully onto the folding chair. Katie was much different, and smiled at the fans, talking to a few of them, asking them what they liked best about the boys. One girl stammered an "I love Brian" with a thick Italian accent, and Katie's eyes lit up. She nodded her head and agreed. "He's my favorite too"
Lauren just chuckled and flipped through the concert brochure she had been given. As soon as the lights went out, the crowd went wild. Lauren stood up and winced at the high pitched screams that were coming at her from all directions. She tried to say something to Katie, but was unheard, and so gave up. Instead she watched intently as the concert began, and hoped they would be able to hear the music over all the noise.


"Wow, that was.....amazing!" Lauren cried, after the lights had been turned back on, and people were beginning to file out of the stadium.
Katie said good bye to the group of 12 year olds that had been sitting behind them. They all giggled and waved and marched out of the arena slowly, savoring every moment of the almost once in a lifetime concert.
"So, should we head back stage, or just go back to the green room?"
"I wanna congratulate the guys. Lets go back stage"
Lauren took Katie by the arm and they asked a security guard where exactly they should go. He directed them towards a door marked "Employees Only" and then through a series of hallways until they came to a big door that read "Act 3."
"They're in there ladies. I believe they've been expecting you"
Lauren and Katie walked into the dark room slowly. It appeared to be their dressing room, but there was noone in it.
"I thought he said they'd be in here?" Katie questioned.
"Oh well. Let's have a look around here"
The two walked farther into the room, and took in their surroundings. The room had charcoal carpeting in it, as well as black furnishings. There was an entertainment center near the back wall as well as two leather couches and a large glass coffee table, which had a basket of fruit and two vanilla scented candles placed on it. There was also a refreshment table against the opposite wall with all sorts of food on it. There was an area for hair and makeup in the west corner, and Katie noticed Rachel's keys set on top of a small box of cotten balls, as well as her coat thrown in a pile on the floor.
"I guess that's where Rach works"
"Well this is a pretty nice dressing room. Better than I've ever seen." Lauren commented. Katie was about to agree as a panel in what she had thought to be a wall to wall mirror, opened and turned out to be a door. Nick and Brian walked in laughing and greeted the girls.
"How'd you like the show?"
"It was awesome!" Lauren bubbled. "I never knew you guys were such good dancers"
"Ahhh, thanks Lauren. We try" Nick said, smiling at the compliment. He plunked down on the sofa and flicked on the t.v.
"Don't get too settled there Nicky, we got meet and greets in 15"
"Awww, I hate meet and greets. They're so boring!" Nick whined.
"No you don't, now don't say that."
"Isn't the man entitled to his own opinion?" Katie challenged.
"Not when meet and greets are meant to serve as a thank you for our very loyal, very amazing fans, that without, might I add, we would not be where we are today. Nick doesn't really hate them. He just never knows which marriage proposal from his ever eager, pre-pubescent fans he should accept."
"Shut up Rok. You're just jealous cuz you get all the mom's in the audience"
"Umm, sorry, you seem to have been mistaken. The mom department belongs to Kevin."
"Where is Kevin by the way?" Lauren asked curiously.
"Oh, he'll be out in a minute. He was just finishing up showering"
"Where are the other two?"
"AJ and Howie? Talking to fans I suppose. They normally do after a show, if they have the time and the chance that is"
"What are you two boneheads arguing about?" Kevin asked, entering the room while rubbing his damp hair with a towel. He was so eager to get close to Lauren he almost didn't make it through the show.
"Bonehead?" Lauren asked, placing her hands on her hips.
"Oh not you cutie. The two blondes over there" Kevin said, referring to Nick and Brian.
"Funny you should ask, we were just saying how you-" Nick started. Brian nudged him with an elbow, and shook his head.
Kevin didn't seem to notice, but asked again anyways. "Sorry didn't catch that last part Nick, what was that?"
"Oh. nothing important."
"Good" Kevin said and nodded his head in approval.
Nick rolled his eyes and continued watching the t.v. "What is up with him lately. He's being such a dick" Nick thought to himself. He just couldn't figure it out and decided he would ask Brian about it later, maybe he would know.


Rachel pulled her fingers through her hair, and gathered her stuff up quickly from underneath the stage while the crew dismantled it. She ran down the wide hallways where a few stray fans were still walking around excitedly. Rachel ducked into a door and walked past some dancers, whom she waved to and smiled. All of a sudden AJ was beside her and also smiling.
"Hey there gorgeous, where you going so quickly, huh?"
"To get dressed. I'm really gross and hot"
"Mmm, I like you like this though" AJ said pulling her close and hugging her.
"AJ, I really am hot. I feel sticky, I should go have a shower"
"Baby I can cool you off just as easy as that old shower can" he said, and blew on her neck slowly.
It sent shivers up and down Rachel's spine and she had to pull away before things go to intense.
"I really got to go AJ. I'll talk to you tonight, ok? Back at the hotel"
"Alright" AJ replied, a little surprised by her sudden dismissal. "She was just with me last night, so ready to take me into her arms and..." AJ cut his thoughts off when he remembered one little detail "Damnit. Rachel doesn't remember last night." AJ just shook his head in disbelievment and continued on his way to the dressing room. He had never been in such a mixed up relationship before. He had never fallen so hard for a woman, but then not known how to tell her he loved her. Never had he been so careful about his words, or so careless about his actions.
Rachel was thinking the same thing as she walked to the crew's dressing room to shower. She knew at least she loved AJ, but she didn't know if he loved her. What if she was just another one of his "tour flings" She didn't even like the sound of it. But he was just so irresistible, and amazing, and hard to resist, since she was around him 24/7. She too was confused, and decided to figure it out over her fresh pack of cigarettes after she rinsed off. Tour life was not the most stress-free job, and after the first couple of weeks, she had started up smoking again. She hopped in and out of the shower and slipped on some pajama pants and a white tank top. She didn't really care who saw her since it was after the show and they would be going back to the hotel in a little while. Rachel fastened her hair in a zebra striped claw she had found in her sports bag, and rummaged around for her cigarettes. When she was unsuccessful in finding them, she thought for a moment about where they might have been placed. "Damnit, I left them in my coat pocket" which she also remembered was in the dressing room. She walked back to the dressing room, not bothering to knock, and went over to the dressing table where her coat was lying on the floor.
"Hey Rach! Long time no see!!" Katie called out, and ran over to her "The concert was awesome"
"Don't tell me that, they're the ones you should be congratulating" Rachel said, pointing to the guys, who were all lounging around, and hadn't really taken any notice that she had come in.
"Well I already did that. What you doing?"
"I'm gonna go outside for a little bit, until its time to go back to the hotel. I need to think about some stuff. You don't mind if I bail on you and Lauren right?"
"No, we can keep ourselves entertained"
Just then several of the guy's back up dancers walked in, one of whom seemed to have a fascination with AJ. Rachel glanced her way, and rolled her eyes as she plopped down on his lap.
AJ seemed to be enjoying himself as Christina, this notorious dancer, fiddled with his silver hoop earrings. He stopped playing around when he saw Rachel glaring at him.
"I gotta go" she said curtly to Katie, "Catch you at the hotel"
Katie watched as she spun on her heal and walked out of the room. Nick noticed too.

Rachel pulled out a long white stick from her pack of 24, Marlboro Lights, and lit one up. She inhaled deeply, and then let a plume of smoke slowly escape her lips. She pulled her hair down from its clip and let it hang against her shoulder blades. The still damp hair, felt cool against her skin, since it had been slightly muggy that evening. She was just taking in the night air, letting her cigarette calm her nerves, when she heard footsteps behind her. She put her smoke out, and turned around.
"Hey" Nick said shyly. He had noticed she looked a little upset when she left the dressing room, and decided to follow her. It would, after all, be the perfect time to talk about their conversation that morning.
"Hey Nick, whatcha doing out here?"
"Ahh, nothin much, just checking out the stars. The sky is beautiful at night here, isn't it?"
"Sure is"
Nick kicked at some invisible dirt on the ground, not knowing what to say. He hadn't wanted to tell her he had followed her outside, it might sound a little whack.
"Is there something you wanted to talk about?" she asked, pulling her knees to her chest and looking up at him with curious eyes.
Nick's legs felt like jello as he looked at her. He couldn't remember one time he hadn't found her absolutely amazing, he couldn't remember any of the other guys not finding her amazing either. They had all had some interest in her at one point or another, regardless of whether or not AJ had swept her off her feet or not. He pushed these thoughts away and sat down beside her. "Actually, I thought that it might be you that wanted to talk about something"
"Why would you say that?"
"Cuz I noticed you were a little upset when you left the dressing room a minute ago. You haven't been acting yourself lately, is something up?"
Rachel looked at him a moment, searching his facial expression for some sign that she could tell him about what she was going through. Instead she took out her pack of cigarettes, and pulled out another one. "You mind if I smoke?"
"I didn't know you smoked, but sure go ahead"
"Eh, none of you people do. You're not supposed to know, well at least AJ. From what I've heard, he's a real fan of these Marlboro Lights I own, and would do anything to bum a few, but he isn't allowed, since Nina doesn't want him to."
"Yeah he quit smoking back in January a couple weeks after his 21st. It started to effect his singing. Well at least that's what management said."
Rachel laughed, and sucked on her cigarette, the paper making a crackling sound every so often.
"So really RoRo, what's up?" Nick asked playfully, referring to her by the nick-name he had given her.
"Nothing. Life's really down at the moment. God, I just. AJ and I, its so messed up. I don't know what to think of the whole situation"
"What's the situation?"
"I'm not sure myself. I just....I just see him, like today with Christina, and I know I shouldn't care you know, it's kind of a time out for us right now. But I know he's been trying to get closer to me these past few days and I just can't...I won't let him in. I just don't trust him right now, I want to I just..can't" Rachel turned her head away from Nick. She sniffled and looked back at him, tears streaming down her face.
"Why can't you trust him" Nick asked, his voice a little shaky.
"Well, you know how I asked you about who Nina would prefer me dating, you know, you or AJ? Well I wanted to know all this, cuz AJ's been refusing to let anyone except for Lauren, Katie, and you guys, know that we were kind of together this whole time. So of course I got a little suspicious about all this secretive stuff, and after talking to you, I went to Nina, and asked her if ever faced with the topic of the guys dating one of the crew, would she care. Anyways, I found out everything. About how...how she hates it when AJ dates the crew members since he only seems to date them during the tours, and then kind of lets off once its over. So most of the girls leave and.....and just all this shit, that completely changes my view on AJ. I didn't think he was like that"
Nick sat for a moment taking everything in, and deciding what he would say in response. "You know Ro, AJ really is not an insensitive guy. He's just unsure of himself alot of the time. You know, you see his tattoos and hair, and everything, and all that sometimes masks the way he really is inside. But when he meets a woman like yourself, he normally opens up to them, which makes him feel more vulnerable, I don't know....we talked about it one night. All I know, is that AJ really did find something special in you, he's got this...fascination with you, and almost wishes he could be more like you. He doesn't like any of those dancers, he loves you, he just...its his way of trying to be a hard ass. He's worried you're going to find someone different and leave him out in the cold, so he's making you worry by letting girls flirt with him. You know, keep you on your toes"
"I don't know Nick. I think I just need a couple days off from all this. They can use Jessie for a couple shows, she knows the makeup and stuff. I need more time to think about whether or not this is what I want right now"
"So you're leaving?" Nick asked worriedly, "You know noone wants that. I love it when you're here, and if I were AJ, I'd never let you out of my sight"
Rachel took the last hit of her cigarette and squished the butt underneath her tennis shoe. She smiled and looked up at him "You're so sweet to me you know-" Rachel was cut off as Nick's lips suddenly pressed against hers. He let the kiss get deeper when she didn't pull away, but soon enough he felt her hands push against his chest and once again he was staring into her face. There was a look of alarm in her eyes, and she seemed dumb founded. When she didn't say anything, Nick broke the silence with a "Sorry"
"Don't be sorry, I was probably leading you on or something. Look Nick I better go, the buses will be leaving soon, and you have meet and greets in 5 minutes, so...I gotta go" She hurriedly picked up her bag and coat and got up, disappearing in the wink of an eye. Nick just sat on the cold, cement curb of the road at the back of the building, holding his head in his hands. "What have I done?" he muttered. "What have I done?"

Chapter 27
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A Story is a Wish your Heart Makes