)THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU ARE BORED.
1. Count all the hairs on your head.
2. Try and convince yourself that you are dead by shouting "I'm dead! I'm dead!" really really loudly.
3. Paint your nails over and over again so you have inch think polish on each nail. It will look really stupid.
4. Sit at a window in your house that will ensure that you are visible from the street and have a conversation with your stick insect. (P.P.P.S. Remember that whole shaking thing... shake it people... PEOPLE!!!)
5. Teach the left side of your brain something the right side of your brain knows, and vice versa.
6. Pretend you're a hippo... but like, don't do the noise or else you'll get a headache. (S.P.P.P) (No... P.P.P.S... that last comment was just to stop you really becoming one!)
7. Imagine you are in a mental institution and feel really really really sorry for yourself. Plan an escape.
8. Practise putting an "and" in between the "yourself." and the "Plan" in number 7 thing to do when you are bored.
9. Imagine you are the "Hunchback of Notre Dame", the animated ugly man and feel really really sorry for yourself.
10. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Then go blame Grace and bash her up 'cause she started the trend. Little trend setter bitch. Bitch, bitch, bitch. Bitch.
11. Start crying for no reason.
12. Try and get inside a bird cage, if you wont fit, stop trying.
13. Go to the beach.
14. Wrap a rope around your neck, pretend it is a snake and hey! You are in "Anaconda"!
15. Pretend you ARE an anaconda.
16. Go back to pretending you are IN "Anaconda" and eat the snake.
17. Spit the rope out, it is not a snake. Pretend you are in a restaurant and complain. Ask for your money back. You will not get it, because you are just pretending.
18. Try and forget who you are, then remember again and get a nice surprise.
19. Count to six.
20. Get a stop watch and time how long it takes for the second hand to go around the clock.
21. Ring up someone you haven't talked to for ages. When they answer, hang up on them.
22. Ring the person back and apologise for being so immature.
23. Go to a bus stop that you know no buses come to and wait for the next bus to come.
24. For added enjoyment, twiddle your thumbs while you wait.
25. See how long it takes to do an hour of thumb twiddling.
26. Call out "Jeremy". Then kind of yell it. Then don't. Then feel very silly and be quiet. Or don't.
27. Try to fall asleep, and when you've done that, try and fall awake.
28. Teach yourself to dream ONLY about drink coasters.
29. Count to 100, once.
30. Count to 50, twice.
31. Count to 25, four times.
32. Count to 20, five times.
33. Count to 14.28571428571, seven times.
(29 - 33 sent to us by Lucy)
34. Try really, really hard to grow an extra thumb. Come on, will yourself to do it.
35. Use you extra thumb you have just grown to play yourself in a thumb war.
36. Congratulate the winner of the thumb war.
37. Reassure the loser of the thumb war that you will have a best out of three.
38. Decide whether or not you own a hampster.
39. If you do, good. If you don't, shame on you and go and get one.
40. Spend six months training your hampster to answer to the name Sigmund. Do this by dropping it in a hot cup of tea every time it does not come when you call it. It will soon learn.
41. After Sigmund has recovered and is used to its name think of some new and more exciting names.
42. Severely mindf*** Sigmund by restarting his name training with a totally different name.
43. Bar your doors, animal welfare must have heard about this by now.
(38 - 43 by Kris)
44. Devise a strategy to invade Poland.
45. Say "long non stop block of rock" 10 x fast.
46. Create a homepage.
47. Sing the Stooges "now i wanna be your dog" backwards, e.g. "dog your be wanna i now".
48. Find a Junior Monopoly board, alter the rules to your sexual liking and Bob's your uncle.
(44-48 sent to us by Ces)
49. Try and imagine what it would be like if nothing existed. Because nothing is something and its all very confusing!
50. See how high you can jump (apologies if you are an invalid).
51. Try and think of something to do (a popular one).
(49-51 sent to us
by )