So many jokes... so little time.
The Obedient Husband
I had eighteen bottles of whisky in my cellar, and I was told by my wife to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink - OR ELSE... So, I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle, and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass which I drank. I extracted the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the third and poured the contents down the sink, which I drank. I pulled the cork from the forth bottle down the sink, and poured the bottle down the glass which I drank. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, then threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour. When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles and sink with the other, which were seventy-nine, and as the house came by I counted them again and finally had all the houses in one bottle which I drank. I am not under the affluence of incohol, way the by, though some thinkle peep I am. I am not half as thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish, I don't know which is me, and the drunker I stand here the longer I get.
The joke Julian sent to Kate... (and it concerns our favourite thing - fish)
MORE TO COME! STAY TUNED! UNDER CONSTUCTION!