PET'S PAGE

(who is pet?)

Pets can be great fun! (Unless your pet is an amoeba). Sometimes, though, pets can be expensive to look after properly. Sometimes keeping certain pets is just cruel. For example... never, never keep an elephant in a goldfish bowl.

So... if you want a pet but don't want the hassle then why not make one? Follow this detailed, step-by-step, guide to make yourself a stick insect. Homemade stick insects are one of the easiest pets to keep and in return, you will have a friend for life!

HAVE TO MAKE A STICK INSECT

1. Get an old jam jar and wash it out.

2. Puncture the lid of the jam jar to make some 'air-holes'.

3. Put some leaves inside the jar.

4. Find an old stick and put that in as well.

5. Invite your friends round and and tell them it's a stick insect.

6. Shake the jar occasionally to make it look like it's moving.

WARNING If you have particularly clever friends, they may discover that your pet is just an old stick. If this happens, do the following...

1. Cry and tell them it's dead.

2. Shout "Oh no! It's escaped!" and then cry a lot.

3. Just cry a lot until they go home.

4. Fall to the floor and bang your fists in the ground, shouting "I'm stark raving flippin' mad" and then let out a really weird high pitched whining sound until they cry a lot.