Quiz Number One.

Do you have life's essential skills?

1. Can you read?

a) yes

2. Do you have good hearing?

a) yes

b) no

c) pardon?

3. Are you intelligent?

a) yes

b) no

c) can you repeat the question in easier words please.

4. Are you quick witted?

a) yes

b) no

c) can you speak a little slower please.

5. Are you a pessimist?

a) yes

b) no

c) I bet I get this answer wrong.

6. Are you decisive?

a) yes

b) no

c) I'm not sure.

7. Are you defensive?

a) yes

b) no

c) just what do you mean by that?

8. Do you have a long attention span?

a) yes

b) no

c) is this over yet?

9. Are you sane?

a) yes

b) no

c) grapes are nice husbands, once you get used to the lamps.

10. Are you paranoid?

a) yes

b) no

c) Jesus Christ I think I left the iron on.

YOUR RESULTS

Mostly A's - You can read, hear, are intelligent, quick-witted, a pessimist, decisive, defensive, have a long attention span, are sane and paranoid. What and interesting mix of personality traits. What are you, a freak?

Mostly B's - You are the opposite of the A's. Read the above analysis and calculate the exact opposite of it all. What an interesting mix of personality traits. You are a freak too. A deaf freak.

Mostly C's - Ahhh, the humble suburban stupid dickhead. You are wasting your time doing quizzes like this. Tuck your singlet back into your trackie-dacks and go back to watching daytime television. Thank you for your participation anyhow.

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