Apple Shampoo
BLINK--just the sound of the word brings a smile to your face, as visions of
goats and midgets dance in your head. But change must come to us all. Due
to a threatened lawsuit involving allegations of copyright infringement and
several counts of second-degree impersonation of an oompa-loompa, we are
being forced by a techno band from Ireland to change our name.
After lengthy discussion, much thought, a fist fight or two after someone
suggested "the artist formerly known as blink" one too many times, and a
short prison term that earned Scott the nickname "Butt Boy," the group has
reached a final decision. The new name is blink-182.
Why 182? Who the fuck knows? Maybe it's the number of times Mark has
masturbated (lube) to the paused image of Princess Leia in the Jabba slave
girl outfit. Maybe it's the number of times Tom has masturbated (dryskin) to
the image of the puppeteer dwarf inside Jabba's tail. Maybe it's the number of
talk shows Scott watched this last summer involving club kids.
Whatever the reasoning behind the new name, this is without question the
beginning of a new era for the three Poway boys. No longer will we laugh in
the faces of those less fortunate. Instead, we will kick them in the groin. No
longer will these three bastions of manhood champion simply goats and
midgets. No--now is the time to open your hearts and let in llamas and huge
dancing naked clowns.
With typical perverted enthusiasm, blink-182 has entered the studio to record
a few new songs for release on 7". Slated for release in mid-November, the
new material will be contained on a three-song single whose cover will
resemble a movie poster depicting an alien abduction, and will be entitled
"They Came to Conquer Uranus." The single will be available through finer
record stores, or you can order it for $3.50 from: Cargo Records 4901-906
Morena Blvd. San Diego, CA 92117. Many of you have written, saying that
you can't find our album, Cheshire Cat. If the record stores around you are
too lame to carry our music, it is available from Cargo Records also. $10 for
CD's or $7 for cassettes. Look for a split 7" with San Diego's Swindle for
release in the near future as well.
Also, we recently finished filming a video for the song "m+m's," complete with
women and guns and explosions and shit. The video was directed by Darren
Doane, whose other credits include videos by Pennywise, Ten Foot Pole,
MXPX, Down by Law, and many others. It will be serviced to independent
video production companies starting in late September, and available to you
by mailorder from Cargo Records, at the address I just wrote up there at the
end of the last paragraph. It costs six bucks postpaid and also has videos
from 16 Volt and Pile Up.
In addition to various dates and weekend tours, watch for blink- 182 on the
road this fall and winter, touriniz for Taylor Steele's newest surf video, "Good
Times." The ever-changing bill for this tour will feature the Vandals, Seven
Seconds, Pennywise, Sprung Monkey, Unwritten Law, and Guttermouth,
and will appear in Hawaii, coastal states in the continental U.S., Australia,
and possibly South America. Then, later this year, blink-182 will be touring
Antarctica with Elton John and ViMtesnake. Watch for us there! Also, look
for our music in the new snowboard video from R.J. Films titled U.F.O., and
Jason Weatherly's surf video, Factory Seconds.
One thing that hasnl changed for us, however, is our love for our fans, though
in these sue-happy times that we live in, perhaps that much touching in public
should be avoided. Until legal repercussion is taken, however, we will do
whatever it takes to demonstrate our appreciation to everyone who has
supported us, short of sleeping with your parents (unless we work out some
sort of a payment plan). Thanks to everyone out there who has picked up our
album, come to a show, or let us sleep on their floor. We hope to see you at
a show in your hometown soon. Also, thanks for all your letters, but please
don't send anymore stool samples. IT WAS A FUCKING JOKE!!
Love and kisses on your pink parts, blink-182
ps-In response to your many questions, yohimbe is an herbal remedy for
male impotence. Look into it. It's done wonders for Scott. However, Tom
siffers from dizzy spells and occasionally believes that he is Fabio. Buyer
beware!