~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sitting back against the couch, Simon closed his eyes and took about four deep breaths, surprising himself that he was indeed relaxing. Opening his eyes when Jamie asked him to, he saw...he could swear that he saw a pair of cat sized dragons sitting on Mike and Carol's laps. Closing his eyes and shaking his head to clear the cobwebs, he looked again and they were still there."There are a pair of cat sized dragons sitting on their laps," Simon said looking to Jamie for confirmation, not sure if he believed what he just saw.

Looking back, they were gone. "They're gone now,"" Simon added.

"That's because you discounted what you saw," Jamie said.

"I dis...what?" Simon asked confused.

"Discounted," Jamie said, " You don't believe what you saw was there and your logical left brain kicked in and said 'I'm seeing things' and therefore you brain closed off what was there." Then adding," From now on, just try to go with the flow, and keep an open mind. Don't say to yourself or out loud , 'I don't believe this or that', because your thoughts create who you become, and what you say, you become. Sure, it will take time, but it will also take Jim and Blair time to fully develop their abilities. These things just don't happen overnight. It takes a lot of hard work and patience."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"One thing that I would suggest to all three of you is that every couple of weeks or so, take a weekend and go camping with the express purpose of relaxing and strengthening your abilities. It's not only relaxing, but it also purges the mind and body of any and all
negativity that has built up." Jamie suggested.

"Like the calming effect of a long and peaceful drive after a bad day or fight with someone?" Blair asked.

"Yes, exactly, Jamie answered. "Tomorrow, when it's a little warmer, I'm going to take you outside for a little exercise that I think will help greatly to strengthen not only your abilities, but the bond that the three of you share.

She received three nods as acknowledgement.

"Ok," Jamie continued, "Not to change the subject or anything, but we need to get moving along if we are to cover everything before it is time to leave."

"Leave for where?" Blair asked.

"To find Alex," she said gently.

Blair's face lost all color.

"What are you talking about?" Jim said as he wrapped a protective arm around Blair's shoulders to try and ease the tension that had suddenly built up.

"Well, part of the reason that you were brought here was to learn how and why a sentinel and guide can work together better," Jamie began, "and also in the process of learning, we are to help you find this female that is the cause of your most recent troubles."

"How?" Jim asked, his arm still wrapped protectively around Blair.

"For starters, you are able to recognize Blair by his heartbeat or his scent. And at the University, you were able to zero in on his presence. Part of what I am going to teach all of you is how to find each other by
similar means. It is something, that if practiced can be taught to just about anyone. But it takes a lot of concentration and patience.

"How do the dragons fit into all of this?" Blair asked, the color slowly coming back int his face.

"Well, right now, they were brought up to show you just what the shaman can have at his disposal if needed. Dragons can be of wonderful assistance if you have the knowledge and knowhow to work with them. And unfortunately at this point, I've only just stated to working with them myself. But I can recommend the book that I was led to when I was introduced to them. It's called 'Dancing With Dragons' by D.J. Conway, and it is a wonderfully helpful book." Jamie said.

"Ok, so what do we do now?" Simon asked.

"I'd still like to know about the weather control, myself?" Jim said.

"Well," Jamie started, "The shaman, if he or she works real hard within himself he can master that as well as many other things. I can give Blair some pointers on getting started, but mostly it is up to him."

"In other words, the shamans journey and training is a self taught inner learning?" Jim asked.

"Yes, basically," Jamie answered.

"Ok, but what I want to know is, how do you know how to find Alex. She's all but disappeared, and even I can't even detect her presence." Jim asked.

"You can no longer detect her because she has left the boundaries of your tribe," Jamie answered.

"The reason that I know where she is, is because when she was with Blair at the university before she left, her inner spirit talked to Blair's. And his in turn, talked to mine."

"In other words," Blair began, "my mind read hers, and then your mind read mine?"

"Yes, exactly," Jamie answered with a large smile.
"That's cool," Blair said.

"Ok Blair," Jamie began, "I need you to tell us your version of everything that has happened since you met Jim. As I think that a lot of the problems you've had recently have to do in the long run with Alex coming into town."

Blair looked at Jim, and then back to Jamie.
"It's ok Blair, Jim will get his turn, and he is not allowed to interrupt while you are speaking or visa versa. Agreed?" she said looking from one to the other.

Both nodded in agreement.

"Ok Blair," Jamie said, "Go ahead."

"Well," Blair started uneasily, "The day that I got the fax from Cindy at the hospital about Jim, I was sitting there contemplating whether or not to change my thesis, I had been looking for years for someone like Jim, but had not gotten anywhere. Then that fax came through, and my whole world just...opened up, I guess I could say. My energy level went through the roof and I couldn't think for a minute. Finally, I grabbed the fax and ran out of the door. When I got to the hospital, Cindy lent me her lab coat, since she was going on break, and I found Dr. McCoy's name tag on the floor. Those type of tags never stay on. Anyway, I found Jim's room and told him to go see Blair Sandburg at the university, because no one here could help him. I gave him my card and left." By now Blair was into one of his lecture modes and his arms were flying as he continued his story.

Blair got up and started to pace back and forth as he continued to tell his story . "I was sitting in my office later that afternoon when Jim came in. I told him about my diss and m study of sentinels and their purpose in the world and got myself thrown up against the wall for my trouble. Then he left before I got the chance to explain zone outs, so I went after him. Good thing too, because otherwise he would have been a pancake in the middle of the road if that garbage truck had hit him. I think that that's when he actually started to believe that I could help him.

Then when the warehouse blew up and he let me move in with him for a week until I found a place, I thought that this would be great because I could get some real in depth info here. The funny thing was, that once we started to work together, the looking for a place and moving out, kinda never took shape. And that was three years ago.

Everything seemed to go smoothly until last month when I was to turn in the intro chapter of my dissertation. I specifically asked Jim NOT to read it, because I knew he would hit the ceiling because from my point of view, I was the researcher, the scientist. And everything in the dissertation was of the cold scientific information point of view. I knew that he would take what I had written the wrong way, and I just wanted to get it turned in and get started on the rest of it so that I could get it done. But he read it anyway. And that really hurt me because I trusted him to trust me." This last part, Blair was saying with just a little bit of anger in his voice.

"Anyway," he continued, "after that, there was the shooting in the store, then Alex showed up and all hell broke loose."

"What do you mean by that Blair?" Jamie asked as the silence went on a little too long.

Blair had tears in the corner of his eyes at this point.

"Jim had mentioned the jaguar in the store to me at the hospital, but when he got home he would not talk about it no matter how hard I tried t get it out of him. And by not telling me about the vision and dream that he had, I didn't put two and two together until it was too late."

The tears were running down his face at this point.

"When I came home that night and found all of my stuff packed up, I wasn't sure of what was going on, because he wouldn't talk to me or nothing. Then at the station when he told me that he didn't' trust me any more and that I should write my diss on something else, I didn't know what to do. I was just numb. I told him that if he wanted to talk to me, he knew where to find me."

"I was sitting in my office that morning when Alex walked in, gun in hand and told me she couldn't let me live. By then, I didn't care what happened to me because the only person that I could say that I loved like the brother that I never had, had thrown me out of his life. I completely and totally gave up, and let her kill me. Why should I go on, I had nothing to live for." Blair finished. His voice was horse whisper soft on those last two words. Taking the tissue Jamie offered, he said "Excuse me," and ran into the den, closing the door behind him.

Jamie looked at Jim, Simon, Mike and Carol, all of which had tears in their eyes as did she. Passing out the tissues, they all sat in silence for about 30 seconds before Jim got up and walked into the den.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Shaman School Chapter 3c

When Blair finished speaking, he could no longer talk or see for that matter. He grabbed the tissue that Jamie offered, and seeing the look and tears on Jim's face he couldn't take it any more , he ran into the den, closing the door behind him. The tears were still coming when he heard the door open and someone came in. He didn't look up to see who it was, but he knew who it was when Jim's arms came around him and held him as he cried his heart out.

Jim just held him as he cried, he didn't talk, but just held him and offered him the comfort that was needed at the time.

After he was finally cried out, Jim lifted Blair's chin with one finger so that he was looking into Blair's eyes. "I'm sorry Blair, that's all that I can say. I know now how wrong I was. And I know that that does not take away the pain that I caused you, but I hope that it is enough that you can one day forgive me."

"I know," Blair said, "and I do forgive you, it's just hard to think about what happened without getting crazy. It may take me awhile, but I'll get over it. Ok?"

"Ok buddy, whatever you say," Jim answered. "Now I think that I hear Jamie getting lunch ready, what say we go help?"

"Sure man," Blair replied.

With that the two men went back through the door that had led into the den to rejoin their other companions.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

For several minutes after Jim went into the den with Blair, Jamie sat there with the others to make sure that they were not going to come to blows or anything. When everyone had their emotions under control, and they were sure that the two men in the other room were going to be ok and not need their assistance, Jamie asked, "Is anyone interested in lunch?" At everyone's nod of yes, she got up and headed into the kitchen. Pulling salad fixins out of the refrigerator and putting them on the counter, she asked, "I was planning a large salad for lunch, is there anything else that you like on your salad?"

"Looks good to me." they all said in unison.

It was 30 minutes later when they had all of the salad fixins had been prepared. At that moment the door to the den opened and the two men emerged. Both of them had red eyes, but they seamed to be in better spirits. "Are you alright?" Jamie asked as they entered the kitchen from the den.

"I am now. I don't know why, but it just got to me," Blair answered.

"I can certainly understand that," Mike said as he put the large bowl of lettuce on the table with the other salad fixins.

"How about you Jim?" Carolyn asked.

"I'm fine," Jim answered.

"Well then, let's eat lunch, and we will go from there.
"Sounds good to me," Simon said as he refilled his coffee cup.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After lunch, the four men wandered out to the porch as Jamie and Carolyn did the dishes.

"Sounds to me like Blair has been through hell," Carol said as she put away the left over food.

"That he has," Jamie replied, "and it's not over yet."

"This Alex character?" Carol asked

"Precisely, "Jamie answered.

The two women were quiet for several minutes before continuing on with idle chit chat. When the dishes were done, Jamie put on a pot of tea and stuck her head out the door and said," Ok guys, break time is over."

"Coming," said Mike as the four men meandered back into the house.

After they had hung up their coats and retaken the seats that they had previously had, Jamie handed out the coffee to each of them. But to Blair, she handed a cup of her herbal tea. "Here Blair, I think that this will do you more good than all the coffee in the world."
Looking up as he accepted the cup, he said, " thanks Jamie, I really appreciate it."

"No problem," she answered, "just glad that I could help." Then added, "How are your ribs feeling today?"

"They're still sore, but not as bad as before," Blair replied.

"What's on the agenda for this afternoon Jamie," Jim asked as he settled onto the couch.

"Well, for starters, it's your turn at the podium. I want to hear your version of what has gone on in your life since you met Blair," Jamie replied.

"But didn't I just do this yesterday?" Jim asked not really wanting the answer that he knew that he was going to get.

"Yes," Jamie replied, "but Blair needs to hear this as much as you need to say it. Trust me Jim, it's for the best."

"Ok," Jim replied, "When my senses first came online three years ago, I thought that I was going mad. It scared the hell out of me. I didn't know what was going on, and I didn't know who or where to turn. I finally went to the hospital thinking that maybe there was something that maybe they could do,

While waiting for the doctor, this young man came in and told me that no one here could help me and that I should go looking for this guy named Blair Sandburg. I mean imagine a scruffy looking Blair in a lab coat and untied tennis shoes, He was a sight, and if I wasn't so desperate, I would have run the other way as fast as I could. But I didn't, and I went to the university to try to find this Blair Sandburg.

Finding the right office, I opened the door and lo and behold there was the 'doctor' from the hospital who had sent me here. All of my cop instincts told be to turn tail and run, not walk to the nearest exit and get the hell out of there. But I didn't, at least not until I had slammed him up against the wall and called him a neo-hippy witch doctor punk. Then, as I was walking across the street, my eye caught sight of a frisbee in flight, and I zoned. The next thing that I knew, was laying on the ground as a garbage truck was going over the top of me. After that, I knew that this Sandburg person was my only hope at sanity.

Several weeks later, after we had been working together, his 'house', an old warehouse that he had been calling home for several months exploded. Complements to the drug lab that was in the other side of the warehouse. Anyway, he asked if he could move in with me for a week, just until he found a place of his own. That week had turned into a month and then the move out just wasn't important. I mean every time I needed his help, he was there in a heart beat. No questions asked. Sure, we had fights now and then, but who doesn't.

When I went blind because of the Golden, he was right there by my side. Even when he was OD'd on the stuff because of the pizza that he ate, and was in the hospital on a respirator, for some reason I knew that because we were together that all would be alright. I think that that was the first time that I realized how much I need and depend on him.

But then, last month when he was to turn in his intro chapter of his dissertation, he had asked me not to read it. But for some reason, I was drawn to it and had to read it. My logical mind was telling me that it was my right to read it if it was about me. What I read in that chapter scared the hell out of me...mostly because it was true. And that made me mad because I had never bothered to look at myself before. The cold hard facts showed just how much of a angry closed off person that I had been. Afterwards I told him to go ahead and turn it in. But looking back on the whole thing, deep inside, I guess I was still upset that he would write what I had read.

Then Alex came into out lives an turned the world upside down. First it was the spotted jaguar in that store, then it was hearing the growl of the jaguar at the loft door when Sandburg was coming home. Seeing her in his office when I had come by to ask him if he wanted to go to lunch. Then the dream of the temple and shooting Sandburg. And all the feelings of the world closing in around me. It just got to be too much, and I thought that by pushing him away, that I was protecting him.

Then I found out that he was teaching another sentinel, and that she was the cause of our current investigation, and that was when I guess that I went off the deep end. I accused him of not telling me what was going on when in fact, he had tried to tell me the day that I greeted him at the door with a gun in my hand. Shortly thereafter I threw him out of the loft with no explanation other than I couldn't have anyone else there at that time. And to top it all off, I told him that he wasn't good enough for me any more , and that I couldn't trust him any more and that he should do his dissertation on something else.

Then Alex called and dared me to come and get her.
She tried to kill me, and if it had not been for Megan, she would have.

Then she went after Sandburg, and when I found him face down in the fountain and I couldn't revive him, I don't know what happened. One minute I was standing over his body then the next minute I was sitting in my truck watching them put him into a body bag, and then watched as the ambulance drove away. After that, I found myself in the jungle with Incacha telling me that there was only one person that could help me find what I had lost, and that I needed to go find this person. I was led here, and the rest you know."
~~~~~~~
Shaman School Chapter 3d

Jim finished with tears in the corners of his eyes. Blair had tears in his eyes as well. Looking at Blair, Jim said," Blair, that was the worst 24 hours of my life, and please don't ever put me through that again. If I even remotely start to turn into that person again I don't care what you have to do to get me to sit down and talk to you, but do what you have to. I don't ever want to lose you again, and I pray that you will come back to your home at the loft where you belong.

You are more than a friend, or a brother, you are
even more that what the best wife in the world would be if it were about sex, and it's not. I can't even begin to explain it. It's like you are the other half of me in some way. The other half of my soul... Am I making any sense here? Whatsoever?"

As Jim finished, Blair threw both arms around his sentinel in a giant bear hug. With his face buried in Jim's chest, Jim could barely make out, "That's the same way that I feel, but I could never put it into words before."

Looking around the room, Jim could see that everyone else in the room also had tears in their eyes as well.

Releasing his embrace from Jim, Blair sat up and wiped his eyes.

Everyone just sat there for several minutes until Mike got up to get another cup of coffee, bringing the pot around to fill all of the others cups as well. Returning the pot to the kitchen, he started a fresh pot as he had just emptied this one.

Jamie looked at the three men before her and said, "There are not very many people in this world that have that good of a friendship. Not even most married couples that I know. But you three have something that is really special, and that is something that should really be cherished."

Mike retuned from the kitchen several minutes later with a fresh cup of herbal tea for Blair and Jamie, before resuming his position on the love seat.

"Ok," Jamie began again, "before we can continue, we need to hear from Simon..."

Simon's head snapped up from the cup of coffee that he was studying intently, "What?"

"Before you three can climb up to the next level of knowledge, the air needs to be complete cleared, and each one of you needs to know that the others are wanted and needed for you to be able to complete the type of work." Jamie explained.
Simon looked over at Blair, to find the grad student looking expectantly at him. *Hell, the kid has been waiting since day one for me to pull his observer pass, doesn't he know by now that he is more a part of Major Crimes that I am. Then again, after his boxing friend was killed because of the counterfeit ring, he needed verbal conformation that he was a valued member of the team. Oh well, here goes nothing.*

"When I was first transferred to Major Crime, Jim Ellison was someone you tried to avoid at all costs. He had an attitude problem that, even though he was one of the best detectives on the force, no one wanted to get near him. He was a loner, and from the way that he acted, he wanted to keep it that way. Then came the Switchman case, and Jim started to have some kind of problem. He asked for time off, and I gave him the day, but for some reason, this case was about him, and I couldn't just reassign it. I asked Carolyn, his ex wife to try to find out what was wrong, because I really needed him on the case. Somehow, we got through, and solved the case, but I still don't know how."

"The next day however, Jim comes into my office telling me that he has taken on a new partner, saying it was his {nephew/cousin}, and that he was studying subcultures and wanted to ride with me for a little while. Before I had a chance to answer him , we got a call about a bomb and took off. When we got back and found out that Kincade had taken over police headquarters and that both my son Daryl and Jim's 'partner' were inside, Jim started to work. I have never seen him so focused ad centered in my life. He was hearing, seeing, smelling and feeling things that I couldn't. Everything worked out , and in the end, he told me about his senses, and why Sandburg was really there."

"For about the first year, I kept trying to get Jim to take on a real partner, someone who would carry a gun, and really be able to back him up. Then, when my son and I were stranded in Peru, they came to our rescue. By that time I realized how much Blair is...almost a part of Jim. And a friend of mine. He works hard, not only with Jim, but his studies and teaching at the university. I personally couldn't keep up with his schedule. Sure I work long hours, but he works rings around me. I would like to see him go through the academy and become an official member (on paper anyway) of the police force."

"When the Chopec came to Cascade last year to try and stop the destruction of their home, and Jim's senses had left him, Blair was the only one who could help him after ... What was his name, Incacha,..." Looking at Jim for confirmation, and Jim nodded yes, "...had been killed."

"Blair has been his anchor through the last three years, and the only one who could get through to him at times. When this whole Alex thing came up, and Jim went nuts. At least in my opinion. Blair tried his best to help, but for some reason, it was like he just closed the whole world off and withdrew back into himself. I can't explain it. Then when he threw him out of the loft and then as his partner, I called him on it. I mean, Sandburg can be a pain in the butt sometimes, but he has good ideas more often than not, and he has a different perspective, that can be very helpful at times."

"But the morning that we found him in that fountain...I felt like I had lost a son or something. And I know that what ever had happened between Jim and Blair was not important. What was important, was that Jim's partner was now dead, and I suspected at that point that Jim would probable be right behind him. When Jim drove out of the universities lot, going God knows where, I sent Henry and Rafe after him to make sure that he did not do anything stupid. Jim must have heard me as he managed to lose them within several blocks. I was really afraid at that point because I didn't want to get the call that said that he had eaten a bullet and that we could come and pick up the body."

"When I heard that Blair was alive, I put out an APB on Jim, just so that he would know that his partner and I could say brother was alive and soon to be well. I was worried as hell until I got the call from Jamie saying that all would be well."

"I never really thought of myself as part of their team, maybe because I was their superior officer, or that three was a crowd. But once you called, I got to thinking, and I do feel like that I belong. When my wife divorced me, I felt lost and alone. Then, when Sandburg showed up and thawed out Ellison, and we became friends, I didn't feel so alone any more . I guess that deep down, I felt like I belonged, and that in the long run, that it was Blair that was responsible. Thank you Blair."

Blair was sitting there with tears in the corners of his eyes, "You know Simon, I think that that is the sweetest thing that you have ever said to me. At least to my face, anyway. Thank you Simon, I really appreciate that."

"Ok gentlemen," Jamie began, "I think that we need a break while I get dinner started."

"Can we give you a hand, Jamie?" Jim asked.

"I think that I can handle it tonight Jim, but thanks anyway. Why don't you all go enjoy the sunset while I get this started."

Everyone but Blair headed outside.

"You coming, Blair?" Jim asked as he grabbed his coat.

"Be out in a minute, Jim," Blair answered.

After the door closed , he walked over to Jamie and said,"I don't know how we were brought to you or what not, but I just wanted to say thank you for giving me back my partner." and with that he threw both arms around Jamie and gave her a big hug.

Jamie returned the embrace with equal comfort,"You're welcome Blair, I'm just glad that I could help."

They stood like that for several minutes before Blair pulled back. "I'm sorry," he said as he started to wipe the tears from his eyes again.

"Sorry...for what?" Jamie asked.

"For being such a baby today. I just can't seem to stop crying, and I don't know why."

"Blair, tears are a cleansing of the soul, and happy tears are even better," Jamie said.

"Thanks Jamie, Blair said.

"You're welcome Blair. Now git, so I can get dinner started," Jamie replied as she snapped a towel in his direction.

Blair took off as the towel got a little closer than he wanted. Grabbing his coat, he joined the others outside.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
On To Part 6