The Baroness

Holy good Jesus.  Long has it taken me to find a suitable image, but finally I have done it.  Finally I have found an image of the Baroness worthy of my praise.  And with that, I will now show my support of the woman known as The Baroness.

Ever since the very first time I saw the old G.I. Joe cartoon, I have been incredibly obsessed with the Baroness.  I mean everything about her.  The accent.  The glasses.  The jet black hair.  And most notably, her "fuck-me" high boots.  That scooty's got a booty that just doesn't quit.  She was viciously ruthless and fantasticly domineering.  I would love for nothing more than to have this beautiful representation of a woman beat me into submission and make me her slave.

She is so goddamn fresh.  She's got a rack on her that makes me wanna marry her, sell the farm, and move to Alaska were I would spend every waking hour bathing her breast in the saliva from my mouth.  Words cannot describe what I would do to this incredible beauty.  Or what she could do to me.

Ever check out her mouth?  Look at it.  I would violate her vicious little mouth like there's no tomorrow.  Could you imagine what I would be like to have that mouth rinsing your meat bongo up in a frenzy until you send your love goo straight down the back of her throat?  You wouldn't be able to stop me from doing such fantastic things to that ass.  I'd have to quit my job, 'cause I would never leave my bed if I was with her.  I would fuck her paralyzed.  That's a promise.

My facination with the Baroness was revived one day when I was watching the Lori Petty movie Tank Girl.  A buddy of mine drew the parallel that Tank Girl's partner Jet looked like the Baroness.  Upon closer inspection, I came to agree.  My mind was poisoned with numerous thoughts of the Baroness, all stemming from what was an insane crush on the enemy of the Joe's.  From there, it was a non-stop obsession to find anything and everything I could about the Baroness.

I then started having dreams about her.  Dreams in which she would enter my room and tell me that I would be wasting my energy to resist her.  She then pins me down and ties me to my bed.  At that point, she does all kinds of Penthouse Forum kinds of things that I just can't even bring myself to reproduce on this page.  It's a crazy fuckin' dream.