"Saturday Night Live"


Saturdays at 11:30ET, NBC


It's official. "Saturday Night Live" is dead on arrival. Actually, it's been lifeless for three seasons. After Dana Carvey departed in 1993, executive producer Lorne Michaels took the corpse of the once-great "SNL" and put it on a respirator. Michaels should've had the guts to pull the plug, but to this day he stands by and watches his creation churn out more comic disasters than ever before.

Do you think I'm exaggerating? Maybe so. But before you turn in a verdict on that charge, tune into Comedy Central and watch classic "SNL"'s from the 70's and 80's. What I saw was the masters of those comedy generations satirizing and parodying everything under the sun. They called themselves "The Not Ready for Prime Time Players", but in that tiny Rockefeller Center studio, the likes of Belushi, Akroyd, Chase, Murray, Radner, Short, Carvey and Hartman upstaged prime time. Whether it was Chase's President Ford imitations, Eddie Murphy's ex-con childrens show host Mister Robinson, or Carvey's downright silly Church Lady skits, they produced moments of laughter that stay with us long after we've watched them unfold. The "SNL" of the past was - and this is one of my favorite, but unfortunately seldom used phrases - "comedy gold." Almost all of the aforementioned comedians went on to stardom in the cinema, but the pinnacle of their careers will almost certainly be "Saturday Night Live." Right up to the Bush-Clinton-Perot election of '92, "SNL" was bonafide must-see TV, a show that took the zany elements of reality and made them even zanier.

Now, in the doldrums of another harsh New York winter, a new team of so-called "comedians" have taken over that same hallowed Rockefeller studio. Each week, they play a game on national TV that's called "How Boring Can We Be?" This game replaced the Chris Farley-created horror of '94, "How Gross Can We Be?" Political satire has completely disappeared from the show thanks to the end of the '96 elections. Maybe that's not a bad thing. After all, out of this supposedly talented troupe, not one of them can decently impersonate President Clinton. The wonderful commercial parodies have vanished. They still attempt some every once in awhile. I could actually feel my foolish expectations for laughter turn into nausea as I watched one of the horrid commercial takeoffs, in which a roach is trapped, his extremities are cut off, and his backside is burned. Yeah, that's really hilarious.

I can almost pardon the commercials. It's the terrible skits that I can't stand. Jim Breuer as Goat Boy is one of the most idiotic, putrid "SNL" characters of all-time. Yet, he's already made return appearances. Wil Ferrell and Cheri Oteri created amusing characters when they played Craig and Arianna, two hyperactive high school cheerleaders. However, Craig and Arianna started to make weekly appearances. Even though Ferrell and Oteri are still there, week in and week out, the comedy from those sketches has been completely drained. This is yet another case of "SNL" writers pulling a "Letterman"(taking a funny joke and telling it so often that you know the punchline before they do). Another sketch that is beginning to wear on me is "The Joe Pesci Show". Jim Breuer certainly has the Pesci mannerisms down cold, but how many times can we laugh at Joe beating up his celebrity guests in one form or another? Molly Shannon as yet another hyper high schooler, Mary Katherine Gallagher, still manages to make me chuckle, but Shannon's pratfalls are also growing stale. Celebrity hosts haven't contributed anything special this season. Last season's only quality outing, with guest host Jim Carrey, was rerun so many times you'd think that was the only episode they had recorded on tape.

Only one segment is still a consitent winner in my book, and that's "Weekend Update". Thankfully, it can't become outdated, because it relies on current news for it's humor. I've always been a huge Norm MacDonald fan, and I'm suprised but glad that he hasn't left to star in a sitcom. He fits into the role of deadpan "anchor" much more comfortably than his predecessor, Kevin Nealon, ever did.

Does a single bright star in a vast galaxy make a subpar show worth watching? For me, the answer is no. TV Guide critic Joe Queenan told his readers to go to bed early. Since he gets paid to watch "SNL", he'll bear the suffering for us. I'll take you up on that offer, Mr. Queenan. Wake me up when they transform the show into a 90 minute "Weekend Update".

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