742 Evergreen Terrace

the home of the Simpson family

Before I begin, I will just say that this page is just a part of my whole website, and it is not striving to be the best with the most MOV's and Simpsons facts. This page is here for me to let the world know about my favorite TV show. So if you stay and see it, cool, and if you even think it's a good page, then I'll be even happier because I might've brought a little tiny piece of joy into your life, if only for 5 minutes. (BTW, feel free to e-mail me and tell me about the joy I brought you :-) *hint, hint*) So that's my speech. Now, enjoy!
This part of my homepage is dedicated to the best animated television show in the world -- The Simpsons! The Simpsons consist of 5 main characters -- Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie Simpson. It is a cartoon about an average (read: dysfunctional) American family and runs on FOX on Sunday nights (8:00 est, 7:00 central). Other characters include Abe "Grandpa" Simpson, Krusty the Clown, Apu, Patty and Selma Bouvier, Ned Flanders, Milhouse VanHoutten, Reverend Lovejoy, Principal Skinner, Moe the bartender, Police Chief Wiggum, Edna Krebbapel, Mr. Montgomery Burns, Wayland Smithers, and lots of other looney citizens of the town of Springfield. Its irony and inside jokes (many of which I even miss) keeps viewers coming back for more season after season. The show is developed by Matt Groening (pronounced Gray-ning,) James L. Brooks ("As Good as it Gets",) and Sam Simon. The show's debut was on April 19, 1987 on the Tracey Ullman Show. It got it's own spot on TV on December 17, 1990. The show is so popular that it is the longest-running cartoon--over 200 episodes!!! I enjoy the show very much and hope all of you do too. I don't have a favorite character. But if I had to pick one, it would surely be Homer. He's so stupid that it's funny.

DOUGH... the stuff that buys me beer
RAY..... the guy that sells me beer
ME...... the one who drinks the beer
FAR..... a long run to get beer
SO...... I'll have another beer
LA...... I'll have another beer
TEA..... no, thanks, I'm drinking beer
That will bring us back to DOUGH.

What Bart writes on the Board

• I will not skateboard in the halls
• I will not barf unless I'm sick
• I will not burp in class
• I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
• I will not draw naked ladies in class
• I did not see Elvis
• Funny noises are not funny
• I will not call my teacher `Hot Cakes'
• I will not snap bras
• Garlic gum is not funny
• I will not fake seizures
• They are laughing at me, not with me
• This punishment is not boring and meaningless
• I will not yell "fire" in a crowded classroom
• My name is not Dr. Death
• I will not encourage others to fly
• I will not defame New Orleans
• I will not fake my way through life
• I will not prescribe medication
• Tar is not a plaything
• I will not bury the new kid
• I will not Xerox my butt
• I will not teach others to fly
• It's potato, not potatoe
• I will not bring sheep to class
• I will not trade pants with others
• A burp is not an answer
• The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy
• I am not a 32 year old woman
• I will not do that thing with my tongue
• Coffee is not for kids
• I will not drive the principal's car
• I will not eat things for money
• I will not yell "She's Dead" during roll call
• I will not sell school property
• The principal's toupee is not a frisbee
• I will not cut corners
• I do not have diplomatic immunity
• I will not charge admission to the bathroom
• I will not get very far with this attitude
• I will not make flatulent noises in class
• Mud is not one of the 4 food groups
• I will not belch the National Anthem
• No one is interested in my underpants
• I will not sell land in Florida
• I will not sell miracle cures
• I will not grease the monkey bars
• Underwear should be worn on the inside
• The Christmas pageant does not stink
• I will not do anything bad ever again
• I will not torment the emotionally frail
• I will not show off
• I will not call the principal "spud head"
• I will not carve gods
• I will not sleep through my education
• I will not spank others
• I am not a dentist
• I will not bribe Principal Skinner
• Spitwads are not free speech
• I will finish what I start
• Nobody likes sunburn slappers
• High explosives and school don't mix
• Hamsters cannot fly
• All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy
• I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause
• I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers
• My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man
• I will not go near the kindergarten turtle
• I am not deliciously saucy
• Organ transplants are best left to the professionals
• I will not send lard through the mail
• Five days is not too long to wait for a gun
• Adding "just kidding" doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal
• There are plenty of businesses like show business
• I will not dissect things unless instructed
• No one wants to hear my armpits
• I will not mock Mrs. Dumbface
• I will not celebrate meaningless milestones
• I will not strut around like I own the place
• Next time it could be me on the scaffolding
• The Good Humor man can only be pushed so far
• I will stop talking about the twelve inch pianist
• I am not a lean mean spitting machine
• The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with Hail Satan
• Wedgies are unhealthy for children and other living things
• I do not have power of attorney over first graders
• Cursive writing does not mean what I think it does
• I am not the reincarnation of Sammy Davis Jr
• I am not certified to remove asbestos
• "Bagman" is not a legitimate career choice
• I will remember to take my medication
• The boys room is not a water park
• Beans are neither fruit nor musical
• "Bewitched" does not promote Satanism
• The First Amendment does not cover burping
• Ralph won't "morph" if you squeeze him hard enough
• I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
• I am not interested in underpants
• I will not use abbrev.
• The truth is not out there
• I will not whittle hall passes out of soap
• I am not licenced to do anything
• I will only do this once a year
• I will not hide the teacher's Prozac
• A fire drill does not demand a fire
• My butt does not deserve a website
• I Will not demand what I'm worth
• Indian burns are not part of my cultural heritage

The Exterior of the house] [The Simpsons' Kitchen] [Matt Groening in Lisa's Room] [Maggie's Bedroom] [The floorplan for the 1st floor of the house] [The floorplan for the 2nd floor of the house

Thanks to the Las Vegas Sun for the these images.

The rest of this information was taken from "Bart Simpson's Guide to Life".

This is Bart and Lisa's Top 10 reconceived notions about boys and girls:

Girls	Boys
1. They smell like fruity chewing gum.	They reek of corn nuts and sweat.
2. They never wanna play rough.	They always wanna play rough.
3. Their stupid, girlish, behind-your-back rudeness.	Their dumb, macho, in-your-face rudeness.
4. Their brainless giggling.	Their idiotic guffawing.
5. They sling mud about each other.	They hurl dirt clods at each other.
6. They act so smart just to get attention.	They act real dumb just to get attention.
7. They say things just to see what effect it has upon impact.	They throw things just to see what effect it had upon impact.
8. They never stop combing their hair.	They never comb their hair.
9. They are sooo cruel.	They are sooo mean.
10. We have nothing in common with one another.	We have nothing in common with one another.

These are lies your parents tell you:

• "If you eat all your carrots, you can see in the dark."
• "I'm only going to say this once."
• "No matter what happens, you'll always have your family."
• "If you cross your eyes, they'll stay that way."
• "You'll be sorry."
• "When I was your age, I had to walk 7 miles to walk to school."
• "I'm only doing this for your own good."
• "If you point, you'll get warts."
• "Someday you'll thank me for this."
• "If you tell me, I promise I won't get mad."
• "If you crack your knuckles, you'll get arthritis."
• "You'll understand when you're older."

Check out these annoying questions to ask your teacher:

• "Did you get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?"
• "How's the diet going?"
• "Haven't personal calculators rendered long division irrelevant?"
• "Can I go to the Tinkle-Dinkle-Ha-Ha room?"
• "Why did they name Uranus Uranus?"
• "Could you repeat that question? I wasn't listening?"
• "If you stick yourself with a pencil, will you get lead poisoning?"
• "Why do dogs sniff our butts?"
• "Is any of this information pertinent to real life?"
• "How do we know the sky isn't really green and we're just colorblind?"

Read these annoying questions to ask your Sunday School teacher:

• "Wouldn't eternal bliss get boring after a while?"
• "Is it Ok to laugh at people in hell when you're up in heaven?"
• "If you told a really, really good joke, would it make God laugh?"
• "If I spent all my time praying instead of studying, would I get better grades?"
• "Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?"
• "Why is there suffering?"
• "If money is the root of all evil, then how come we all have to have jobs?"
• "Why doesn't prayer bring dead goldfish back to life?"
• "Could God create a corn dog so big even God couldn't eat it all?"
• "If there's life on other planets, are there aliens in heaven too?"
• "Can the spirits of your dead relatives watch you when you're going to the bathroom?"
• "If you were a masochist in life, wouldn't it be a reward to be sent to hell and punishment to be sent to heaven?"
• "Do dinosaurs have souls?"
• "Is it a sin to mouth obscenities if you don't make any sound?"
• "If someone's been decapitated, are they still headless in heaven?"
• "Is neanderthal man in heaven?"

Bart Simpson's Weird Mysteries of the Universe even I can't Explain

• Is the Ultimate answer to any Question, no matter how Profound, Thoughtful, or Cosmic, merely "Who Cares?"
• Everyone knows that Secret Sauce is just sugar, mayonnaise, salt, and...what? What is that tantalizing, mouth-watering, mystery flavor?
• What if God doesn't really dig my youthful High Jinks?
• When the Three Little Pigs kept saying, "Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin," what the hell were they talking about?
• Is there Secret Sauce in Heaven?
• Why isn't creamed corn against the law?
• Why did God create Dung Beetles?
• What if we think the joke's on them, but it's really on us?
• If God could do anything, could He drink so much Secret Sauce that He'd get sick to His stomach?
• How do we know that the entire Universe isn't just the fleeting daydream of a magic super-beetle in some parallel world?
• Why are movie sequels always so bad, yet so irresistible?
• Wouldn't the world be a happier place if everyine just strut around nude?
• Why did God create tapeworms?
• Is there yodeling in Hell?
• How can we know for sure we're not dreaming all this, and that actually we're just a brain in a jar in some mad scientist's laboratory?
• Does God like Secret Sauce?
• Why did God create Barney the Dinosaur?
• If Heaven is so great for everybody, then who scrubs the toilets up there?

Bartholomew J. (for "Junior Bonehead") Simpson presents HOMER SIMPSON'SHoW cOmE zIt ?

How come you can't drive golf carts on the freeway?	How come women don't realize that baldness is sexy?	How come stamp glue tastes so magically delicious?
How come they call it "winter wonderland" when there's just a bunch of freezing snow and ice all over the place?	How come they don't make a perfume that smells like dough frying?	How come they don't have super comfy soft vibrating couches at bowling alleys so you can lie down when you're waiting for your next turn?
How come the guy who invented the hammock isn't considered to be the greatset genius who ever lived?	How come Marge leaves that baking soda box open in the back of the refrigerator, and when I try to eat it, it tastes really funny?	How come corndogs are so magically delicious?
How come they don't serve the second greatest beverage -- I'm referring, of course, to eggnog -- all year long?	How come I'm cursed with a son who is always plotting against me no matter how often I let him polish my bowling trophies?	How come someone with as little hair as me has so much head lice?
How come I sweat when I eat?	How come people say that TV is a dull and stupefying waste of time with no real benefit to humanity when there's so much fine entartainment on 24 hours a day?	How come two wrongs don't make a right, no matter how hard I try?
How come you have to buy the entire snow-cone when all you really want is the sweet, sweet, syrup flavoring?	How come cats think they're so smart with their fancy footwork and their crafty schemes to eat all my smelts?	How come there is really only one thingin the universe that's interesting and that's food?

LINKS

The Simpsons' Bulletin Board-leave messages to the world about your opinion on the Simpsons!

The Simpsons Live Chat-Chat on topics concerning the Simpsons.

Gordon's Simpsons Site

The Simpsons

Martin's Simpsons page- pretty nice site

Simpsons Fun-o-Rama (by TV Guide)

The Simpsons of Springfield

Do you think that your Simpsons site belongs here? Just e-mail me
with your URL & title and I'll go check it out. However, I will expect you to link me back.

DISCLAIMER*This web site and any content contained on this it relating to "The Simpsons" are not authorized by FOX. I do not claim rights to any of this material.