"I beg your pardon?"

"You've been doing that a lot lately."

"Doing what exactly?"

"Zoning out, drifting off, visiting the twilight zone, I don't know exactly, you tell me. Where were you just then?"

"Oh, I don't know, just...... thinking..... wondering."

"About what?"

He put the cup down on the arm of the sofa and ran a hand through his hair. "Duncan, Sydney, ...... Alex, what else may have happened during that year in Los Angeles that will come back to haunt me,.... haunt us."

Arianna didn't know what to say, she'd wondered the same thing, often, especially since their rather disturbing sojourns into VR last week, courtesy of Duncan. She moved his cup to a safer spot on the coffee table and took his hands in hers, tugging him gently toward the stairs. "It's late, come on, let's get some sleep."

* * *

When he felt her sit bolt upright in bed and turn toward him, he realised the moan that had woken her had come from him. It wasn't just a bad dream, the stabbing pain behind his eyes was quite real.

"Julian what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "Just a headache. I didn't mean to wake you." The dull ache that had been lurking in the back of his head for the past week had finally manifested into a full fledged migraine.

"I'll get you some aspirins." He held his breath and fought back the wave of nausea that came from just the slight movement of her getting out of bed. Bloody hell, he hadn't had one like this since his University days, and even then the pain was never quite this intense. He felt her lightly brush his hair back off his forehead when she came back and opened his eyes slightly, squinting against even the dim light coming from the open bathroom door.

"Here, try to swallow these. I'll turn the lights off." She handed him two tablets and a glass of water, then went back and doused the lights. On her way back to the bed, he heard her put something on his bedside table, shut the bedroom door, and even pull the curtains the rest of the way closed before climbing back into the bed.

"Thank you," he sighed, knowing how hard it was for her to be in total darkness and feeling grateful she'd stay with him rather than move to the guest room.

"Would it help if I try to stroke your hair like you did for me after Vermont?" she asked softly.

"I don't know, it might." He drew a quick breath and held it once more when he felt the bed moving again, but it stopped quickly and he felt her hand against his neck helping him shift around to rest his head in her lap. When she began dragging her fingers slowly up from the back of his neck through his hair he felt a shiver run down his spine and murmured softly.

"Am I hurting you?" she whispered.

"No." Her fingers trailed lightly from his forehead back, then up and around his ears, starting again at the back of his neck. The last thing he remembered before falling asleep was the feel of her lightly kissing the back of his head.

Julian woke curled beside her with his head still in her lap. She was sitting up against the headboard with one hand resting against his neck but he could feel she was only napping, not deeply asleep. As soon as he moved slightly, she was awake.

"How is your headache?" she asked softly as he struggled to sit up. The room was totally dark, no trace of light at all.

"Still there, but not quite as bad I think, thank you for last night. What time is it?"

"I don't know, I think it's still early." He looked over to the bedside table, she'd even covered the digital clock with something to hide it's fluorescence. He pulled off the towel to see the blue-green numbers indicating it was 6:23.

"You're right, it's not quite half six." He got up slowly and opened the curtains just a crack. Luckily the sky was overcast and the light that came in was dimmer than bright sun. "I'm going to go take a shower, why don't you go back to sleep for a bit." She smiled sleepily and snuggled down into the pillows and covers.

The bathroom was pitch dark as well, she'd let down the shades on the windows behind the tub. Julian switched on the overhead light and felt the blinding pain return. Quickly switching it off again, he felt his way to the sink and fumbled for the switches of the dim accent lights either side of the mirror instead. He took the aspirin bottle out of the medicine chest and gulped three tablets before turning on the hot water and stepping into the glass walled shower.

* * *

Arianna heard a crash and was out of bed in an instant, she'd been wavering on the point of almost but not quite asleep for about twenty minutes. When she dashed into the bathroom she found him laying on his side on the floor of the shower with his head clutched in both hands, the water spraying down over him. She yanked open the door and quickly turned off the water with one hand, reaching for him with the other.

"Oh my God, Julian, what happened?"

"Dizzy..... lost my balance...... fell..... I'm all right." Leaning against the wall he managed to sit up on the wet tiled floor.

"Like hell you are. Come on, can you stand up?"

"Not sure, wet, slippery," he murmured dazedly.

"Stay there, I'll get a towel." She handed him one of the big bath sheets from the shelf next to the sink and used another to dry the floor as much as possible. With difficulty she got him to his feet and leaned him against the wall while she turned to get his robe from the hook on the back of the door.

"It's gone now, I'm all right," he whispered, feeling weak and somewhat foolish as she helped him into the thick velour terry robe.

"Are you sure? You might have hit your head when you fell." She brushed the hair back off his forehead. When she looked at his eyes to check for trace of a concussion he could see the worry in her eyes.

"No, it was something of a sit down fall, all I hit was my elbow. I'm fine. Let's go have some breakfast, I think I'm hungry."

"I don't believe you're fine, but okay." She kept her arm around him until they were downstairs and he was safely perched on one of the stools at the counter between the kitchen and living room. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed as she set a juice glass in front of him. "What would you like to eat?"

"I'd really like a crumpet but the closest thing we have are those so called "English" muffins."

Arianna grinned, if he was being sarcastic he must be feeling better. Putting on the water for tea first, she reached into the refrigerator for the package of Thomas' muffins and filled the toaster slots with four of the fork split pieces. "Marmalade or jam?" she asked, looking into the cabinet at the assortment of condiments.

"What? Oh, uhm, Marmalade."

"Okay next question, orange, ginger, lemon or grapefruit?"

"Ginger please." She opened the jar and put it on the counter next to him along with the butter dish, watching him as he carefully took two mugs down off of the mug rack and pushed them over to the kitchen side of the counter.

"Are you sure you're all right?" she worried, his eyes were closed and he looked as if he was holding onto the counter for dear life.

"I will be. The migraines never lasted more than a day or so."

"When did you have them before?"

"At University. That's partly why Jacob started teaching me the mind control techniques, to control, and hopefully prevent them. It worked, well at least for the past twenty years it did, until...."

She'd been watching the tea kettle so intently to catch it before it began to whistle that when the toaster popped up it startled her. Retrieving the muffin halves from the slots she put them onto dishes and gave them to Julian to prepare while she made tea from the special gold cylinder he kept in the back of the cabinet.

"Until?"

"What?" He carefully buttered the toasted rounds then reached for the marmalade jar.

"You started to say you hadn't had a migraine in twenty years until... Until what?"

"I did?"

"Yes you did."

"Oh, I'm not sure, there's been sort of a dull ache the past week or so, it didn't really manifest fully until last night. Sorry, it's just a bit hard to concentrate right now."

Arianna poured their tea and added just the right amount of milk to his before spooning the sugar into her cup. When she sat down to eat she saw he'd left off partway through one of the muffins, the knife was still sitting on the plate with the gob of marmalade only half spread.

"The past week or so, before or after the phone calls from Duncan?"

"Uhm, there was a tingling sensation after the first one, but the ache started after that last one when we both got pulled in."

"I want to call Jacob later. He knows more than anyone about that mysterious mind of yours, perhaps he'll know something about the effects of Virtual Reality as well."

"That's a good idea." He could barely keep his eyes open as he finished his tea and realised that she'd made it from the special medicinal blend in the gold canister. "I, I think I'll go lie down for a bit."

Ari helped him to the couch and tucked him in with the mohair throw, partly closing the drapes across the sliding glass doors before clearing the breakfast dishes and doing the washing up. She'd remembered how relaxed the special blend had made her feel when she had headaches after Vermont and had hoped that combined with the aspirin he'd taken earlier it would make him drowsy. It had worked quicker than she expected. Her cup was still half full, and with the sugar added it had had the opposite effect, helping to revive her from the lack of sleep last night.

Brushing back a stray lock of still damp hair, she softly kissed his forehead, then ran upstairs to change out of her pyjamas before going to the study to make the transatlantic telephone call to the University. "Jacob it's Arianna. I need some advice."

"What's he done this time?" She could hear an odd mix of sarcasm and concern in the older man's voice.

"Actually I think it was something done to us. It's a confusing story." After quite some time recounting the details of their experiences last week she brought him up to date with the events of last night and this morning's mishap in the shower. "He says he's okay, but the pain is still there, I can feel it when I touch him, actually I can see it just looking at him."

"God, it's been so long, but I can still remember how debilitating the migraines used to be for him, it must be even worse now, after all these years."

"Any ideas what I can do to help? Could the VR trips have done something to him?"

"I don't know. You're all right though? The VR had no side effects?"

"No, not that I've noticed. Why?"

"I'm wondering if perhaps it's not just the VR. If it might be something to do with his debriefing. I can't give you any answers, but I think I know someone who can. Give me a couple of hours and I'll see what favours I can pull in. For now, all I can prescribe is what you've already done. Sleep, darkness, and quiet or white noise, are the best things for him. He used to have a tape of ocean waves that he liked, but it's probably long gone."

"Actually, now he has it on a CD, he used it to help me get rid of a headache a few months back, I'll find it. Call on my mobile number, I can switch that to silent ring."

"You'll know as soon as I find anything."

"Thanks Jacob, you're the only one he'll let me call when he's ill."

She heard a laugh on the other end of the phone. "He always did have a hard time trusting people, doctors especially. I'm glad you're there to look after him. I'll talk to you later."

Arianna went back to the living room and found the CD of ocean waves. With the volume turned down very low it would be just enough white noise to cover any slight sounds she might make moving around in the house while he slept. She turned off the ringer on the phones and went back to the study for some internet surfing. The Cabal had locked up all the files on his Level 5 debriefing but she'd broken into one of their locked files once before, if she had to she'd call Mercy Lonejack for help.

* * *

"What do you mean she acted alone on that? When has the Cabal ever let one person have complete control over an operation that delicate?" Dr. Jacob Wells couldn't believe the explanation he was hearing from the other end of the telephone. "I don't care if it was her field of expertise, someone else should have been there as control dammit! ...... Yes, I realise it's all a moot point now that she's dead. Even if we can get into her files, who's to say they'll make any sense. You're telling me there is *no-one* else that knows what was done to him during that debriefing?..... Well, I must say you've been a big help, no that was the deal, we're even now, your debt is repaid." He hung up the phone in disgust. After seven phone calls he was not much closer finding anything to help Julian than he'd been three hours ago and his last resort had just failed.

He poured himself a double Scotch and took a big gulp before sitting back down to call Arianna. He couldn't believe they'd let Klaus use Julian as a guinea pig like that without someone else knowing what was going on, it was inhuman.

* * *

Arianna had just broken through the security net around Julian's dossier when she felt the mobile phone in her pocket start to vibrate. She closed the library door before flipping it open to answer the call.

"Jacob?"

"Ari, how is he?"

"Sleeping. He's shifted position occasionally but he hasn't woken up since I called you."

"Well, that's something at least. Let him sleep as much as he can."

"Any luck?"

"You're not going to want to hear this but Dr. Klaus was the only one that knew about his debriefing. I had to call in favours I wasn't even owed to find out practically nothing, but I did get the pass codes to her research files. Are you any good at hacking?"

"It's funny you should ask that, I'm downloading the medical history from his dossier right now."

She heard him chuckle. "That should prove to be an interesting read for you."

"I'd seen most of it before, he left it once as sort of a warning, to see if it would scare me away from him."

"I'm glad it didn't, for his sake. If you can download Klaus' files, perhaps we can find something in them. I hit a brick wall trying to find anyone that understands VR. As far as I can tell, the only experts in that field were killed off about two years ago. Are you sure this Duncan pulled you both in? My contact didn't know it was possible to take two people in at once."

"Yes we were both in there, with him. I think I'd better try and get in touch with him, maybe he can help us. Give me the pass codes and I'll see what I can get from Klaus' files first." She opened a separate Notepad window on her laptop computer screen and typed in the pass codes exactly as he read them off to her.

"I need two days before I can leave here, my assistant can proctor finals, but there's one experiment I just can't abandon until then. When you get the files, can you send them on so we can look at them together?"

"Sure, I can modem them into your computer through a secure relay. I'll call you when they're ready and you can set up your modem to receive."

"Good, then I'll let you get to work. Don't worry about the time difference, I'll be waiting, no matter how late it is when you get them."

Arianna flipped the phone closed and returned it to her pocket, then went out to check on Julian once again. He'd rolled over and was dangerously close to falling off the sofa. She was able to pull the edge of the afghan that was wrapped under him enough to move him back onto the cushions without waking up. Just to be safe, she moved the glass top coffee table further away from the sofa before getting a can of soda from the fridge and returning to the computer. She needed caffeine but was afraid the smell of tea would wake him.

So far, so good, her tap into the Cabal files was holding. She found the path Jacob's contact had given them to Klaus' research files and one by one the pass codes were unlocking each level of security. The Level 5 file was enormous and even with the hi-speed connexion took five minutes to download. When she reached the file marked J-7, it was even bigger. She hoped she could bring it in before anyone realised the files had been accessed and started the file transfer.

She started to get nervous as she watched the bar graph showing the transfer in progress, it seemed to be stalled at 89%, then suddenly it jumped to 92%, 95%, 99%, and finally it finished. File J-7 had taken twenty eight minutes to download. Fairly certain no one had tried to trace her call she disconnected the modem anyway just to be safe. She'd call Jacob later and transfer the files over the other phone line in the house.

A muffled "umph" came from the living room and she ran out to find Julian sitting on the floor slightly dazed. He looked up at her and smiled weakly. "I'm glad you moved the table."

"How do you feel?"

"Better, I think. Groggy though. Is it still Wednesday? I feel like I've slept forever."

"It's Thursday actually, but you've only been asleep about 7 hours, since breakfast."

"Oh right, the special tea."

"I hoped combined with the aspirins it would make you drowsy, I just didn't think it would work quite that well."

"If you're sure that was this morning, I took an extra tablet."

"Oh. Do you want some food?"

"First, I think I'd like to get dressed, only sick people spend the whole day in a robe." She helped him up and watched him carefully make his way to the stairs. There was still a dull pain in the back of his head but she could sense the dizziness was gone, replaced with a fuzzy, groggy feeling.

Jacob's machine answered the phone saying he'd left the office momentarily and would return within the hour. She left a cryptic message about being sorry he couldn't join them at Star of Siam, that he could have a rain check for November 31st, and hoped he'd realise she would call back at 11:31 his time.

When Julian came to find her in the library he confirmed the thought she'd once had that the casual rumpled style would look good on him. In faded jeans and a soft chambray shirt, his hair tousled and leather deck shoes, no socks, only she would ever be able to tell just how bad he really felt.

"Is it too early for Star of Siam?" he asked, looking at his watch.

"Not for me, I've only had a can of soda since this morning, we'll be ahead of the dinner crowd and I can call Jacob when we get back." She shut down his computer and closed the cover of her laptop. Having them networked had made the hacking much easier. His had the higher modem speed and power, where hers had the special programs and decryption algorithms. Both systems had more memory than they could ever possibly need.

"Didn't you say you were going to call him this morning, or was I dreaming?"

"I did call him. We have some files to analyse now. I'll tell you about it over dinner. Do you want to eat there or get take away and bring it home?" She could see he was looking for something but his car keys were on the sideboard right in front of him.

"It depends how bright it is outside."

"Your sunglasses are in my purse, remember? They fell out of your pocket yesterday at the grocers."

"Oh, right." His forgetting things and zoning out scared her almost as much as the headaches. Pain was one thing, he'd often had to deal with that, but the unfocused confusion she felt from him at the moment was another matter. When he turned to pick up the car keys she saw him wince and stumble, catching himself against the side of the sofa.

"That does it, I'm calling Siam to deliver. You'd better sit before you fall down. "

"I'm fine, really. I just turned too fast."

"Sit!" She pointed to the chair and he obeyed with a sheepish grin while she picked up the phone and pressed the bottom left speed dial number.

"Hi Chan, it's Arianna." She covered the phone with her hand, and asked him what he wanted for dinner. "Sorry, yes the usual.......Half an hour is fine, don't hurry, we'll be here. Thanks."

"Can I get up now?" he asked.

"If you want, just be careful. One fall per day is enough."

"I think it's time for more aspirin before we eat."

"Stay down here, I'll get the bottle for you." When he'd made it safely to the sink to get a glass of water she went upstairs to retrieve the bottle from the medicine chest. When she came back to the living room, he'd settled in one corner of the couch and was rubbing his eyes as if he was trying to fit them back into their sockets. "Is it getting bad again?"

"Umm," he moaned. She handed him the pill bottle and scowled when he took another three tablet dose. The bottle recommended only 2 tablets every 6 hours for adults. He put the glass down on the coffee table and rubbed his forehead with both hands.

It was starting to get dark outside even though it was still early. The weather forecast was for heavy rain later tonight and the clouds were already an ominous shade of grey. Arianna turned on the dimmest lamp in the room just to give them enough light to keep from tripping over the furniture and went to stand behind him. He leaned his head forward and murmured when he felt her fingers at the back of his neck starting to move up through his hair, her touch felt just as wonderful as it had in the middle of the night. Twenty minutes later, when their food arrived, the aspirins were taking effect and thanks to her ministrations he could face the prospect of eating.

"What, uhm, what did you say about some files you and Jacob were looking at?" He asked between mouthfuls of his order of #6 with the extra spicy noodles.

"We've obtained some of Klaus' files about your debriefing to try and see if it might have anything to do with your headache. Jacob thinks it might be a combination of that and the VR trips last week. Do you think I can contact Duncan if we need help understanding that part?"

"Officially no. Unofficially yes. Cathy Leonard brought him in, she'll know where he is, and she owes me a few favours."

Ari looked at her watch, "I've got to go call Jacob. I left him a message that I'd call at 11:31 his time."

"I'll stay here, I don't think I could focus on a monitor screen right now."

"Okay, but if you need me just yell."

"Tell Jacob he's the only one I'd let you call in a case like this."

She looked back at him with a wry grin and answered softly, "I already did."

* * *

"Jacob, good you figured out my message."

"How was the food?"

"What, oh great, we ended up having it delivered, Julian's still a bit off balance. The pain started to come back but he took some more aspirin and he's eating now."

"That's a good sign, when it was really bad he never could keep anything down. Even the thought of food would make him nauseous."

"Let's hope it doesn't go that far before we find out what's causing it. Set up your computer and I'll modem the files to you now. The second line from here is secure, it'll be a safe transfer." She used her shoulder to hold the phone against her ear so she could type with both hands and thought, *Why don't you have a speaker phone Julian?*

A few minutes later, his voice behind her answered, "I do, just push the pound sign twice and put down the receiver."

"Jacob, I'm going to switch you to speaker phone if that's all right, hold on a moment. I'm sorry Julian, I wasn't thinking."

"Yes you were, I heard you."

"You know what I mean." He smiled and nodded.

"I'm going to go lie down, upstairs so I don't roll off the couch again."

"Okay, but be careful on the stairs. I'll check on you in a bit."

"Goodnight Jacob," he said a bit louder, then gripped the doorframe as if the exertion of speaking loud had thrown him off balance again.

"Sorry Jacob, I'm here."

"So, you two can read each other's thoughts finally?" He sounded pleased.

"Yes, the first time he tried it made me dizzy, but then again I was recovering from a concussion. Later on, it got easier."

"I had a hunch you'd be able to manage it, what sort of range can you get, I mean how far away can you still read each other?"

"I'm not sure, we've tried across a parking lot once, but I couldn't say in feet or metres. Why?"

"I'm just curious. Sometime you're both 100% well, test it and let me know the results, I think it'll surprise you both."

"The first batch of files just finished. I'm going to start file J-7. It's a monster."

"What is it?"

"Can't you tell from the filename? It's her complete file on Julian. He seems to have been something of an obsession for the good doctor, right from the beginning."

"Ah, well, lets look at her debriefing research first. Which was the first file?"

"Levels 1-4 are pretty basic, I looked through them and there wasn't anything spectacular. We might as well start with 5 since that's the one we know she used on him. Skim through the first ones if you want, I just want to run up and see that he made it upstairs without falling down. I'll be right back."

Arianna quickly but quietly climbed the stairs to peek into the bedroom and had an intense flash of deja-vu. Julian was sprawled across the bed, face down, clutching the covers like someone hanging onto a floating raft in a swimming pool. He'd kicked off his shoes, but was still fully dressed. She relaxed a bit when she got closer and could hear him snoring very softly. Gently covering him with a woven cotton blanket, she lightly stroked his hair then went back downstairs.

"I'm back Jacob."

"You're right, 1-4 were a waste of time. But 5 is fascinating, if a bit confusing. You may need to get in touch with that Duncan person after all. There are several references to experiments with VR.6. It looks like that's what she may have used to erase his memories of the debriefed year. My source explained what he knew of the theories up through VR.5, but he didn't know much beyond that, and he didn't know anything about Klaus being able to control it, if she was able to that is."

"We'll never know that now. I'll try to contact him first thing tomorrow. You must be tired, it's after 1am for you. The larger file transfer just completed, take a look at it tomorrow, I'm going to give it a read through tonight."

"Promise you'll let me know as soon as you find anything?"

"I will."

"I'm going to do some digging on this end tomorrow, we have an underground group of computer geeks here on campus. Maybe they can give me some insight into this VR.6, if I can find them, that is."

"Thanks Jacob, we'll be in touch."

* * *

The amount of information contained in file J-7 was truly staggering. Arianna had to keep reminding herself that it was compiled by the disturbed and twisted mind of Dr. Klaus. Her notes seemed objective up until 1978 and the assignment that went wrong in Buenos Aires. Klaus seemed to decide then and there that he had a death wish and recommended he be removed from duty for further testing. Her recommendation was denied and from then on, that seemed to be the underlying theme in each entry. There was a long gap with no entries, actually spanning eight years and Arianna wondered if he'd actually managed to avoid injury for that long, or if he'd been able to keep whatever happened hidden from the company doctor, the way they'd kept quiet about Bangkok.

She hit the page down button and looked at the next screen, then turned back to her laptop to check something in another file. "So Dr. Klaus, you knew all along," she whispered to the screen. The medical report she'd put in his dossier file had stated '(No contact with operative during inter-agency reassignment)' for his first time on loan to the Committee. However, in her personal file there were dates, assignment reports, and even pictures from that three year span, as well as a particularly mean spirited description of his partnership with Alex. Ari felt a bit like a voyeur reading parts of it, there were some things he might not want her to know, but then again, just how much was truth and how much was the ramblings of a woman scorned only he could tell.

Screen after screen was filled with every morsel of information on him Klaus had been able to lay her hands on. She'd have to remember never to buy lime flavour sherbet. After the 1994 explosion in Paris when he lost Cassandra the reports took on a somewhat darker slant and the following pages were a copy of the locked file XC-1 that she'd hacked into while they were in London. After re-reading the transcript of his debriefing sessions Arianna was even more certain that Dr. Klaus had been out to destroy him, any way she could. It was after eleven when she finally shut down both computers and stretched.

"Everything you ever wanted to know about me but were afraid to ask?" His soft voice from the other side of the room startled her. She'd been concentrating on the screen so completely she hadn't heard him come in.

"How long have you been sitting there?"

"Only the last two screens of report XC-1, an interesting bit of fiction. I'm glad I finally remembered what really happened that night at the bridge."

"How do you feel?"

"Weak, tired, drained, shall I go on?"

"No, I can tell just looking at you. Do you want a cup of tea or anything before bed?" He closed his eyes and put his left hand up, covering that side of his face and rubbing it lightly. "Another cup like this morning would be splendid." On her way to the kitchen she laid a hand on his shoulder and winced at the feel of the stabbing pain behind his left eye.

* * *

The fact that he slept through the night made Arianna wonder just how many aspirins he'd taken before he came downstairs for that cup of special tea, or if he'd gotten into the pain tablets they had left over from England and Bangkok. She'd slept in fits and starts, waking to check every time he moved, or made a sound. Now his body was curled against her back with one arm wrapped around her waist and his forehead pressed against the back of her shoulder, there was no way she could get up without disturbing him. Trying to occupy her mind on something other than the darkness of the room, she reviewed what they'd learned from the files last night.

Apparently, VR.5 could tap into a person's subconscious, accessing forgotten memories, secret wishes and dreams. The next level that had been used for Julian's debriefing somehow went one step further. According to the debriefing research files using VR.6 the desired memories could be accessed and then that area of synapses could be desensitised, pushing the memories into something like a black hole. Arianna remembered touching the edges of that dark corner in his mind that first night in the English manor gatehouse. A formless void, it had seemed to draw in anything that got close enough. She fell back to sleep thinking how the feel of it had made her skin crawl.

"Sssssh, it's all right. It's just a nightmare." Arianna opened her eyes, panting for breath and felt the tears streaked across her face. Julian was lightly rubbing his fingers up and down her arm.

"I'm sorry I woke you. A great nurse I am," she whispered.

"You didn't, nature did. The birds are awfully loud this morning, and I think your squirrel friend wears lead trainers. He was on the roof a little while ago."

"Probably looking for breakfast. Do you feel any better this morning? Want some breakfast?" She noticed the curtains were slightly opened and realised he'd been up already.

"What? Oh, some, yes, better. No, I'm not hungry." He blinked sleepily as if his eyelids were all of a sudden getting heavy.

"Just how many aspirin *did* you take last night?"

"None."

"You slept too well for me to believe that Julian."

"Three, four, don't remember." With that, he rolled over and buried his head into the pillows.

"I think it's time you skip a dose and let the extra ones work their way out of your system."

"Spoil sport," he mumbled, then started snoring softly again.

Arianna left him sleeping and went to take a quick shower, a little surprised that he'd fallen back to sleep so suddenly but figuring it was just as well. As she let the hot water flow over her she kept thinking about the nightmare images, trying to find some connexion between them. A child drawing a picture, a nurse drawing blood, the woman drawing soda up the straw, a black hole drawing in surrounding stars, and that giant black Hoover drawing in everything. Black, drawing in, she had to call Jacob, and get in touch with Duncan.

Turning off the water and wrapping up in her terry robe, she towel dried her hair then pulled on a pair of knit pants and one of the long sleeve rugby shirts he'd bought her for 'training' days. She'd joked that they were her play clothes but later found that the oversized knit shirts were really quite comfortable.

As soon as she opened the medicine chest, she knew why he'd suddenly gone back to sleep. Both of the bottles of pain relievers had been moved to the front of the bottom shelf and the top of his ones from Bangkok was loose. He'd taken the stronger of the two prescriptions. She hoped he hadn't decided to increase the dosage on these or he'd be out of it all day, and she needed him to get in touch with Cathy if they were going to find Duncan.

When she went back to check on him before going downstairs he rolled over and looked at her for a moment before closing his eyes again. Her breath caught in her throat. In those few seconds she'd seen his eyes from her nightmare.

"Jacob, hi, I think I may have found something."

"How is he this morning?"

"He said better, but I think worse, he doesn't want to eat and he took some pain medication on his own."

"That is bad. I remember when he fractured his arm he refused any type of pills."

"Exactly. We have to find an answer and soon. This is probably going to sound crazy but I've been going back over what I read last night. The debriefing pushed his memories of that year into sort of a black hole. I've seen that part of his mind, it's like a dark void pulling in anything that gets too close to it. The files we read about VR.5 mentioned accessing the subconscious, to help retrieve forgotten memories. What if his recent trips into that somehow stirred up the black hole so that it's now drawing in more and more."

"It's a possibility. Has he been forgetting things lately?"

"Yes, this last week he's been misplacing things, starting a conversation then forgetting what he was saying, and sometimes just staring off into space as if he's shut down."

"He'll do that if the pain gets unbearable. It's one of the things he learned in Nepal."

"What do you mean?"

"He'll just shut down his mind. I've only seen him do it once but I'd better warn you, it can be frightening."

"How will I know he isn't just asleep?"

"He'll probably have his eyes open but he won't answer when you speak to him, and you won't be able to wake him. The connexion between you two might be able to break through it, but I'm not sure. His heart rate will be slower than normal and his temperature will drop. It's a meditative state something close to suspended animation. I've never been able to go that far but he learned it quite well."

"He said he was having trouble concentrating, he may not be able to focus enough to shut down."

"Good point, as I said he's only had to do it once that I know of. His level of pain tolerance is higher than anyone I've ever known. What you said about VR.6 tracks with what I've learned from the group here on campus. They are a strange bunch collectively, but individually each has their brilliance. I had a stroke of luck. One of them, Fisher, is from California. He finally admitted to having been taken into VR some years ago. He remembered someone named Duncan saving his life once, and someone else named Sydney. Do you think he'd help us if you could find him?"

"Her, and no, she's dead. The only one left is Duncan. But even if I find him, what can we do to help Julian?"

"Fisher's group thinks that if you can get into the dark section of his mind, let some light in they said, it may reverse the effect, or at least stop it from getting any worse. If you can reach Duncan and have him take you both back in, try to go to an event in that missing year. You said he knew Julian back then, he'll be able to pick a setting. If you can crack the darkness, he might in time be able to recall those lost memories."

"Unfortunately I need Julian's help to find Duncan and he's out cold. Unless..."

"Unless what?"

"Oh, sorry, just thinking out loud. I'll see what I can do and get back to you."

"I've got a reservation on the early flight tomorrow. I should be there by tomorrow night if all goes well."

"Well, with any luck, we might be able to save you the trip. I'll get to work and talk to you later."

Arianna hung up the phone and started flipping through Julian's Rolodex, looking for the number she needed. He'd taught her to recognise the code he used on the ones that were actually Cabal personnel and special contacts. To anyone that didn't know the code, his address file would read like a very big, "little black book".

Finally finding the card for Carol Lombard, his alias for Cathy Leonard, she converted the numbers back into their proper sequence and dialled the phone, saying a silent prayer that she'd be able to convince a perfect stranger to betray a sacred trust.

* * *

Arianna breathed a sigh of relief when she hung up the phone. As soon as Cathy had been convinced she was really who she claimed to be, the woman had actually been quite pleasant, and chatty. Her comments on being very glad Julian had finally found his soul mate made Ari wonder just what he'd told her when she'd called after bringing Duncan back to the states. He'd been right, Arianna could tell from Cathy's tone that she did fancy Duncan and was very protective of him, but she had given a secure number where he could be reached and promised to be sure he would be there to answer a call at 10am Pacific time. That meant she had three more hours to wait, and worry.

Julian put the palms of his hands against his temples and pressed inward. It felt as if his head would explode at any moment. The pain medication had worn off far sooner than he'd hoped but he knew better than to try taking any more just yet. He saw from the clock it was 9:30am but for the life of him he couldn't think what day it was. Laying perfectly still, flat on his back seemed to be the only position where his eyes didn't feel as if they would fall out of their sockets but it wasn't exactly comfortable. Part of him wished it was still night, at least curled against Arianna her warmth had seemed to make him feel a little better and the light scent of Freesia she wore had been somewhat soothing. Right now the faint aroma of Earl Grey from downstairs was making him nauseous. He pulled her pillow over his face and sighed.

Arianna finished her last mouthful of tea and put the cup in the sink. When she'd looked in on Julian after talking to Jacob he'd been still asleep so she'd spent the last few hours reading the research files once again. Now it was finally time to make the call.

"Duncan, you don't know me, but we have met, sort of. You called us from Bangkok."

"Arianna was it? Oliver's, oh sorry, Julian's friend?"

"That's right, I need your help, actually he does. Something happened to him when you took us into VR."

"You can remember that?"

"Yes, why?"

"Ordinary people shouldn't be able to remember unless you're encoded."

"Encoded, how?"

"Syd tried to explain it to me once, something about retina patterns, I don't really remember, this is still very confusing. I can go in, and take others in, but I still don't know much about the how or why."

"Julian and I have some sort of a connexion we don't understand either, we can read each other's thoughts, maybe that has some effect. The first time you called him he just had vague images like a nightmare afterwards. The two times after that we were together and he could remember, we both could."

"Wait a minute, I only saw you with him once, that last trip."

"That was the only time I was actually on the phone. The trip before that I had a sense of being there and watching what you did to him. I was asleep next to him when he answered your call."

"It sounds like sharing it with you is what made the memories stick."

"Whatever it was doesn't matter, since your *trips* he's had a headache and now the pain is getting worse....." She tried to explain what she understood about Julian's debriefing and the dark corner of his mind. Then told him about the theories Jacob had gotten from Fisher and his friends.

"Yeah, I remember him. Boy genius. Syd helped him to be a kid again."

"Will you help us? Please?"

"Yeah, sure. I owe Oli..Julian my life, I'll do whatever you want."

"Jacob suggested taking us both back to an event in that year he doesn't remember. You knew him then so you'll have to pick the setting. Try to choose something neutral, he's pretty weak at the moment and in a lot of pain."

"Does he remember anything from that year?"

"Not much, he did have a nightmare once that really shook him up. He thought he'd been there when Alex was killed."

"He was there, that's what I was thinking about. That night he was weak and in pain, he'd just been shot. Of all the things that happened that year, if I know Oliver at all, that would be the one thing he'd want to remember. What do you think?"

"I'm afraid you're right. It's been gnawing at him ever since he found out she was really dead, maybe seeing it again would give him some sense of closure. Okay, where will you take us then?"

"The basement at Syd's house. That's where I found them after the shooting. He'll have to handle the beginning, I don't know what happened before I got there. When do you want to go in?"

"As soon as possible. I think he's still asleep, give me an hour to try and wake him and explain what we're going to try."

"If he won't wake up, just put the phone to his ear, it'll still work. I'll see you later."

* * *

Arianna put down the phone and checked her watch. He'd call back at 2:30. She wanted to be with Julian when they went in so Duncan had said he would conference the call between the secure house line and her cell-phone. She put through a quick call to Jacob just to let him know what was in progress and went up to wake Julian.

She found him flat on his back with her pillow clutched over his face. He moaned softly when the bed shifted as she sat next to him. "Are you trying to smother yourself?" she asked softly.

"Not having much success." He let her take the pillow away and rolled over to rest his head against her leg.

"The pain tablets didn't help?" She asked, lightly stroking his hair with her fingers.

"Not enough." He sighed. "It comes and goes. It's better when you're here."

Arianna tried to clear her mind and laid one hand along the side of his cheek, gasping slightly when she felt just some of what he was tolerating silently. "Don't try that, you'll hurt yourself," his voice was a ragged whisper and she could feel him trying to pull back away from her, but at the moment her mind was stronger. Besides, seeing him in pain hurt almost as much as the actual feel of it. He finally gave up the struggle and relaxed, letting her share the torment for a short time. When the worst wave had passed, she felt him regain some of his strength and push her mind away, protecting it from the pain.

"Duncan is going to take us back into VR to try and stop this. He'll be calling in a few minutes." Julian managed to sit up against the pillows she piled behind him and leaned his head back against the headboard while she moved the phone onto the bed between them.

"I don't know about this."

"Jacob approved the idea. He's read all the research and he thinks it should work." She didn't dare tell him where they were planning to take him.

"Did you talk to Cathy?"

"Yes, I like her, and you were right, she fancies Duncan, a lot." Her cell-phone began to vibrate an instant before she heard the bell ring downstairs. She'd silenced every phone in the house except the one in the library. He picked up the receiver but waited for her to answer before putting it near his ear.

"Duncan? ..... Julian's on the other phone....... No, he was awake........ Yes, I think we're ready."

"Morning Duncan." The silver vortex opened under them but this time instead of grabbing wildly for her as he fell they were holding hands as they careened through the tunnel. When they landed they were in a basement full of boxes, piles of books, dusty computer equipment and the type of assorted junk that fills the attics of most suburban homes. Julian was sitting on the floor, leaning back against a bookcase, his brown plain flannel shirt open to reveal a bleeding hole in his side. Duncan was perched on the ladder stairs and Arianna was sitting on a metal chair watching as a young woman with long blonde hair knelt beside him pouring antiseptic over the open wound. He winced at the sting.

"I can't lose her again Sydney. I keep thinking there was something I could have done at the time. I could have been closer, faster, something."

"There was nothing you could have done," she answered softly.

"What aren't you telling me Sydney?"

"I took her back into VR, after the murder, I took her back to the train station. You didn't lose her, she left you. She said you had to understand that there were other lives at stake." They looked at each other a moment before she added, "She said she loves you."

He looked away and laughed silently. "How absurd this business is, all this time, looking over my shoulder, never getting close to anyone for fear of betrayal. A lifetime spent guarding secrets that no one gives a toss about."

"Maybe you should quit."

"No, I can't. I'd have to become human again."

"You already are." Arianna looked up as Duncan lost his footing and tumbled down the few steps to the floor and suddenly the scene shifted to a news-stand after dark. The two men were rifling through magazines looking for something.

"We call them letterboxes, it's how we get messages to each other." Julian leaned against the stand to steady his balance.

"Messages. You mean like the bombing begins in five minutes?"

"No, more like this." He held up a train ticket that had been tucked into an issue of Match.

"A train ticket to Berlin? She really is confused."

"It means she's at the train station." He took out a small leather not pad and copied the number onto a slip of paper.

"And the phone number?" Duncan brushed his long hair back off his face.

"When I'm sure it's clear, I call her, we meet. Well, that's the theory anyway."

"Theories are good."

"Just in case take that to Sydney," he handed Duncan the piece of paper. "I'll call her from the station." He winced and gripped the side of the stand to steady himself.

"Hey, will you be okay on your own? I mean I'm basically a pacifist but I could stick with you, keep you from, you know, falling down." Julian just looked at him then slowly turned and walked away. "Thought so."

Another shift and Duncan was standing with Arianna on the train station platform, watching a replay of the nightmare she and Julian had shared in London; his tearful reunion with Alex that ended with her falling into his arms, shot dead. "Who's controlling this you or Julian?" she whispered.

"I was before but now I'm not sure, I wasn't there when she was killed."

Arianna reached out to Julian as he clutched Alex's limp body against his chest and wept. When her hand touched his shoulder everything dissolved and they were on a wild ride through images from the past, some familiar to her, others not. The shower of gunfire in Paris, a lone shot in the dark somewhere, a shining knife in the Ukraine, the warehouse in Bangkok, she grabbed for Julian's hand to keep from falling off a cliff above a deep chasm and suddenly they were thrown out.

"Wow what a ride! You still there? Are you guys all right?" She shook her head and answered the voice on her cell-phone.

"Yes, I think so Duncan, uhm, I'll call you back." Julian looked a bit shell shocked. When she took the phone out of his hand and put it back on the nightstand his hand went directly to the spot on his right side where the virtual wound had been.

"Alex," he whispered. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Julian?" She tried to keep the panic out of her voice and lightly touched his cheek to try and see if the pain had lessened.

"I'm all right. I just need some time to sort through what we just saw." He leaned his head into her touch.

"Jacob said if we could crack the darkness, in time your memories might come back."

"I'm not so sure I want them to if they're anything like that one."

"I'm sorry, we should have picked a different setting."

"No, I am glad to finally know the truth. At least now I can put the memories of Alex to rest." He opened his eyes and looked at her. "Don't look so worried, the worst of the pain is gone. Now it just feels like a hangover. Why don't we make a pot of that special blend, you look like you could use some rest as well.

Next chapter Blind as a Bat