One of the great stars of daytime drama is realizing the great dream of her lifetime -- to have a child. Yet GENERAL HOSPITAL's Nancy Lee Grahn (Alexis), who is due to deliver in early March, is not doing it the old-fashioned way: Not only is she choosing to remain unmarried and raise her child as a single mom, she also prefers not to reveal the identity of the baby's father. That detail aside, the Emmy-winning star sat down with TV Guide (and former Soap Opera Digest) reporter Michael Logan for an intimate and inspiring chat.

Michael Logan: I recently came across an old Digest interview I did with you, geez, probably 10 years ago, and even then, you couldn't stop talking about having a baby. What the heck took so long?

Nancy Lee Grahn: You look for the right relationship. You want to make sure you're financially stable. You want to make sure you're equipped to be a good mother.

Logan: So I take it you finally found the right relationship?

Grahn: This relationship produced what I consider a miracle and that's "right" by me.

Logan: A lot of women want to be moms, but you've been possessed with this notion. It's like borderline pathological with you. Why were you so driven?

Grahn: Because I have really great parents. I have a wonderful mother and she had a wonderful mother. My father had a wonderful mother -- and when you have an heirloom like that, it's almost instinctual to want to pass it on.

Logan: And marriage is not an option?

Grahn: I choose to remain single.

Logan: Would you like to elaborate?

Grahn: Look, if you're asking me to comment on the status of the father and myself, I will not. I will only say that his well-being and the well-being of his family are of enormous importance to me, as is their privacy. Now if there's something else I can reveal that would be beneficial to those reading this, ask away.

Logan: All right. What would you say to a pregnant woman who is weighing the pros and cons of remaining single?

Grahn: "Choice" is the operative word here. Making the choice I did is a privilege and should be made with the utmost care, particularly when the best interests of your child are involved. Being a good mother or a good father is not exclusive to marriage, and raising a healthy child is dictated by love, not in the formation of a relationship. That's my opinion. I don't want to sound peachy.

Logan: How do you think your child will feel knowing you've made this choice?

Grahn: I hope that my child will feel safe and confident knowing that I have strength of character, that I have the courage to trush my instincts and that I take pride in how I feel about myself as a woman. And that all this makes me qualified to make appropriate decisions.

Logan: What about marriage down the line?

Grahn: Marriage is a beautiful thing. Two people who choose to be together for all the right reasons and who choose to have a child together is ultimately, probably, the best way to do it for all the parties involved. But I have been around way too long. I think I know best what's right for me -- and marriage is not right for me at this point in my life.

Logan: Would you have made this same decision as easily in the '70s or '80s?

Grahn: Absolutely not. I did not have the sense of myself that I have now.

Logan: Would you have felt pressured to be married? To have a relationship?

Grahn: I wanted to glue myself to every man with whom I had a relationship. I wanted to tie myself to their ankles and have them drag me around with them because I thought that was what made me whole. Half of me wasn't there. Luckily -- and unconsciously -- for me and my self-growth, I picked men who wouldn't allow that to happen. So I went kicking and screaming into becoming an independent, self-possessed person -- who, by the way, still has plenty far to go. It's not over. But do I feel good about myself? You bet I do. Now.

Logan: Are we revealing your age for this article?

Grahn: Is it relevant?

Logan: It's relevant to those women whose biological clocks are ticking.

Grahn: Okay, let's just say I was old enough to panic.

Logan: How did you deal with that?

Grahn: I just stopped it. I stoppped the panic and the yearning and started believing. All the work I had done on myself -- psychologically, emotionally and most of all, spiritually -- kicked in, along with my innate sense of knowing that all is well. I had what I call a moment of grace. A moment of faith. I visualized, I imagined what it would be like to hold this child, how happy my friends and family would be at the delivery. I went as far as to give my father my BMW convertible and leased a family car. I even said to the leaser, "Here is where the baby's car seat will go." He laughed. But I knew -- the best part of me knew -- that if I built it, it would come. A woman obviously doesn't make a baby alone, but everything fell into place for this one to be created. It happened in a very natural, loving, easy way. The absolute truth.

Logan: Believing makes it so? This is very "wish-upon-a-star" time.

Grahn: Well, speaking of stars, listen to this: When I thought that I might be pregnant, when I just had an inkling, I was renting this beautiful beach house. And the stars were so gorgeous and I looked up one night and said, "I am as ready for a baby as I'm ever going to be, so if you are ready for me, jump in and I will give you the best life that I possibly can and be the best mom I possibly can be." And at that very moment, a shooting star went across the sky, from right to left, immmediately after I finished my thought. Do I think that was an omen? Heavens, yes. I thought it was the most powerful thing I ever witnessed in my life. I thought it was a big answer from the universe. A week later, the doctor confirmed my prenancy.

Logan: Amazing.

Grahn: It really is! I did it with GH, too. I wanted to be on the that particular show, so I saw myself on that show. I knew it was where I belonged. If you look at successful people -- I've hear Whoopi Goldber say this, I've heard tons of people say this -- they saw their success happening.

Logan: So Mom and Dad aren't having corenaries with their daughter being unwed and pregnant?

Grahn: Are you kidding? They are jumping for joy. We're talking cartwheels. They're used to me. When I was 12 years old, I said to my mother, "I don't think it's fair that women and kids have to take men's last names." My mother looked at my father and said, "Fasten your seat belt, it's going to be a bumpy ride." They know me and they trust me. They're also the ones who said, "Don't go to college -- go do what you want to do. We know you can be what you want." They also know that I'm totally responsible. They'd be shocked if I had a baby the "normal" way.

Logan: The baby won't be written into GH?

Grahn: It's not appropriate for the character. We barely know who Alexis is at this pint. Being a mother is a fabulous thing to do in real life, but one of the few women who's had a child on a soap where it didn't undermind her character was Julia Wainwright, the character I played on SANTA BARBARA. The writers kept her spunk and independence for the run of the show. Of course, this was a woman who had a child on her own in a very unconventional sort of way -- she made a deal with Mason. But that was rare. More often than no on soaps, when you become a mother, you become June Cleaver.

Logan: Yet, the iea of a Quartermain/Cassadine baby is very intriguing.

Grahn: It's a great idea. You know what? I hope to have another baby, so that opportunity may happen again.

Logan: So you're not just satisfied with one miracle baby. You want two?

Grahn: Oh, yeah. Expecially now that you can freeze your eggs. Don't think I didn't tear that news report out of the paper the other day. Anything can happen. I truly believe that now.

Logan: Did you conside doing the sperm bank thing? Or since you're surrounded by phenomenally attractive soap studs, did you ever consider, like Julie, striking a deal with one of 'em? At least you'd know whose sperm your were getting.

Grahn: Yes, I did consider that! I also thought about adoption. I'm being really open here because I have such compassion for women who are in the same situation that I was in that I want them to feel better. There is no wrong way to do this. I wanted to experience life from conception. That was my wish. I got lucky enough and it happened -- but there's not one way that's better than the other. But I love watching my stomach grow. I stand in the mirror naked. The baby pushed the other day. I felt it move! Every moment is so extraordinary. When you wait this long, you feel every moment of it. I am awetruck by it. I feel very fortunate that it happened this way for me, but that's not to detract from anybody who does it any other way. Because ultimately, what you want to do, as Walt Whitman said, is "Be a gate to somebody's soul." That's what we are. No matter how it comes, you're still nurturing this new being and assisting it in the world. I just feel closer to God than I've ever felt in my life.

FREEDOM OF THE PRESS?
Nancy Lee Grahn may be having a baby, but she's also having a cow. Four months ago, the actress decided to give the only full-length interview about her pregnancy to Soap Opera Digest -- but she subsequently found herself bombarded by reporters who wanted the scoop for themselves. "I lost all choise in the matter and I'm angry about it," says Grahn. "They exaggerated; they slanted things; they padded briefs quotes to make entire articles. I'd like to think that they were doing it because they were happy for me, but that wasn't the case. I was satisfying their prurient interests because I am not in a public relationship with the father. There is nothing dark or dirty about any aspect of my pregnancy. I just wanted to preserve it's integrity. There are some things that aren't for sale. Digest has my greatest appreciation and respect because it allowed me to do this story in my own time and on my own terms."

Taken from Soap Opera Digest (12/16/97)