*Letting Go* Chapter 41

by Shani

I dedicate the first line of the new "season" to Austine :-)


Jerry opened the door and Jax forced his way into the hotel room. "Where do you get off!"
"Me?! What about *you*? Everything is about you...it always has been."
"What?! Let me get this straight-you're the liar but I'm wrong for...."
"Hating me?"
Jax's voice and eyes softened a little. "I don't hate you."
"You know what this conversation isn't going anywhere...get out."
"No. I want to know why I'm the bad guy." Jax said and defiantly sat down on the bed. "Come on. Here's your chance to enlighten me Jerry. Why shouldn't I be angry as hell at you? Why shouldn't I want you gone? After everything..."
"Here we go again. Do you think this has been *easy* for me. Do you think it was easy listening to you whine day in and day out about Miranda knowing you stole her from me..."
"*Stole*?! Sorry, when we met she didn't say, *by the way I'm engaged to your brother.* Why didn't you tell me-I would have left her that day, and you damn well know it. So if you wanted to sit around and play the silent martyr who's fault is that?"
"You don't get it do you. I had to keep quiet to keep her safe. I loved her, unlike you."
"Don't tell me what I felt!"
"You had some sort of teenage infatuation with the woman-I haven't been in love since, can you say the same."
"It took me forever to get over Miranda. You don't know what I went through. You didn't *have* to get over her. She was still in your life-even as I was hurting and you would sit there and look me in my eyes and tell me that it was okay and things would get better-you got to go and visit her and help her....this isn't about Miranda, Jerry. Because you're right I didn't love her the way you did. This is about the fact that for years-all my life-you've been lying to me. I trusted you and you consistently betrayed that trust. Because it fit your needs. It fit *your* needs not to tell me about Miranda. And it fit your needs not to tell me that Jason was setting me up. Everything you do for *me* you did for yourself. What I don't understand is why."
"You...understand...NOTHING." Jerry stated slowly. "You know nothing about the world you live in. You just go along, happily living off of what I do, innocent to it all. But you're the tortured one, right?"
"So why don't you tell me?"
Jerry was silent.
"Come on...big brother...tell me. What kind of world do I live in. What don't I know? Or what do you *think* I don't know. I'm not an idiot-even though you insist on treating me like one."
Jerry laughed. "You are completly clueless. That's evidenced by your choice in women."
"Is this Miranda or Brenda?"
"Both."
"You know what. This *is* pointless." Jax got off the bed and headed for the door. "When are you leaving?"
"Does my presence bother you?"
"Not really."
"Good. Get used to it. Someone has to stay and make sure everything runs smoothly."
Jax's eyes grew dark. "This is *my* territory, Jerry. Stay out of it."
Jerry walked up to Jax. He reached past him and opened the door. "Tell your wife I said hello." he grinned.
"I'm not kidding."
"I know you're not. I just don't care...anyway, we have the same goals in mind-making money. So you handle what you do, I handle what I do, and you can go about living your life in your territory-completly clueless."

Jax walked into the Outback and saw Brenda. She looked up and smiled and waived him over. "So. How was your first day?" he asked as he sat down across from her.
"Fine. I'm all signed up. I dropped cooking though."
"I figured as much. You don't want to flunk anything your first semester."
"Ha ha. So, how's Jerry."
"Confusing. He's staying in town."
"Is that good or bad?"
"I'm leaning towards bad right now." Jax admitted. "There's more to this though Brenda. There's something I don't know...surprised?" he joked. "But I'm not going to worry about it. He can do his thing, and I'll do mine. And as long as he doesn't get in my way, we'll be fine." Jax added, mostly to himself.

Shani