Late Lunch's Mel and Sue get stuck in.....
What's better then Christmas Pudding?
Mel:"The Late Lunch band"
Sue:"Stuffing. Matron."
When did you stop believing in Father Christmas?
Mel:"I was 17 - I saw my mum in a red suit and white beard."
Sue:"What do you mean? Father Christmas is real."
Do you try to find where your presents have been hidden?
Mel:"I know where they are - above my mum's wardrobe."
Sue:"No. I like to be surprised by the style of sock I'm given."
What was the worst Xmas present you ever got?
Mel:"An umbrella. I was 14 and cried for the rest of the day."
Sue:"A photo of my double-act partner Mel, from my double-act partner Mel."
Do you leave you're Christmas shopping to the last minute?
Mel:"I'm one of those sad people who shops all year round."
Sue:"Of course - that's the whole point of Christmas Eve."
if you had a reindeer, what would you call it?
Mel:"Don't call me deer."
Sue"Possibly Barbara."
The Queen's Speech, Discuss.
Mel:"I've never seen it. I'm always poleaxed by that time of the day."
Sue:"An old lady with bouffant hair and wooden teeth - great!"
What's your favorite condiment to accompany the turkey?
Mel:"A nude man in a tiny apron."
Sue"Europe. Sorry, I thought you said continent."
What do you make with the leftover turkey?
Mel:"A turkey skeleton"
Sue:"A Millenium Dome model"
Favorite Quality Street?
Mel:"Green triangles, of course!"
Sue:"Purple wrapper - fondant centre with a nut in it. Top."
What do you do if your best mate gives you a crap gift?
Mel:"Punch them in the cake hole, steal their wallet and buy myself something good."
Sue:"Laugh and give it pride of place on my television."
Is Christmas a time for unity, peace and quiet reflection?
Sue:"Yes, but one must also focus in on the real meaning of Christmas - booze, presents and plenty of kip."
Mel:"And satsumas and nuts"
How much is too much when it comes to scoffing mince pies?
Mel:"You can never eat too many mince pies. You can quote me on that."
Sue:"I'd say 4-5 tonnes."
What cartoon clip would you select for the Crimbo edition of "The Wonderful World Of Walt Disney"?
Mel:"Anything with Bugs Bunny in, because Bugs rocks my world."
Sue:"The out-take where Goofy makes a pass at Betty Boop."
What's your tip for working off Christmas stodge?
Mel:"Wear very large, loose clothing and only venture outside after dark."
Sue:"You should wear your Christmas belly with pride. Down with all gymnasiums!"
© 1997 emsy1@hotmail.com
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