They're back for a second series! A whole hour an' all!
Wednesday 21st October 1998
IT'S BACK! Yes, for a whole hour every week we will be graced with their presence! First show today, and with Mel's natural colours showing through, and Sue with specs (Spec wearing CSers all around the country ie. me jump up and down with joy) they sing, cook and chat (it's Light Lunch all over again!) with David Ginola and Patrick Duffy. They all go conkers bonkers!
Wednesday 28th October 1998
This week we are presented with Tony 'ills from EastEnders aka Mark Homer, and Ant and Dec. Mel and Sue take us on a whistle stop tour of all the accents you can find in your average Albert Square, and we even meet Patsy Palmer, the mother of Patsy Palmer, who is in fact called Julie Harris, but is known as Patsy Palmer, or Bianca, but in fact took the name from her mum, Patsy Palmer, who was there this evening. If you can understand that then I'm a boiled turnip. The lads show their expertise at pumpkin basketball, and we end up with the Smashing Pumpkins, all over the floor.
Wednesday 4th October 1998
Put yer sunglasses on gals, as Mr George "smooth" Hamilton comes and cooks some stuff! Banana stuff an all! And to help Melly and Susie eat it all are Victoria Wicks, Stephen Tomkinson and Jeff Rawle, who have taken time out from Dropping their Dead Donkey to come and have a chat! Cheese makes an appearence (that's what I like to see!) and we all generally have a brill time! Plus, from thier audience of Manchestarians, George chooses plunger girl to live with! Top Darts!
Wednesday 11th October 1998
A stonking good show today! Mel and Sue show us their extensive musical talents. However, the more musically minded of you will have noticed that Sue was in fact holding her 'cello on the wrong side, the bow should be in the other hand (my mum teaches it, I should know!). Anyway, Micheal Starke from Brookie comes and cooks Jools Holland's fave meal, for the simple fact that he's on the show too! Also guesting is Jennifer Saunders, the founder of Mel and Sue, and they all play bread croquet! We are played out by Jools and his chum, and Mel, Sue and Jennifer play the hitting-the-plastic-box-with-the-wooden-spoon. Don.
Wednesday 18th October 1998
Today we have Alice Beer, and Mel and Sue are so excited by this fact they have to sing a song about it. She cooks a lovely thing with a fish, and realizes that the LL kitchen is in fact a safety hazard! Vic and Bob come in to eat the stuff, and Vic draws a stunning piccie of Sue. The play Marrow skittles (or the like) before taking calls in the lounge, and speaking to Vic's five year old daughter, canniliy enough also called Alice. Awwww, bless!
Wednesday 25th November 1998
Tonight, Melly and Susie get their nosh cooked for them by Scots footie type chappy Ally McCoist. This nosh is shared with EastEnder Tiff (Martine McCutchen) and Stephen Fry, with whom Mel and Sue will be appearing with on Saturday night. A game of salad footie is played, and Sue is mesmorised by the lady talking down her ear!
Wednesday 2nd December 1998
A don and wicked show tonight, as Graham Norton cooks dinner for the guests, and gets to donate £50 to a charity by wearing a daft jumper with a dog on. The aforementioned guests are Joanna Lumley, who has hair like two bananas, apparently, and Jo Brand, who likes nothing better than mash and.....something else too crass to mention on a site of this granduer! They all play a sprouty putty game, and Jo Brand wins it by being rather violent!
Wednesday 9th December 1998
Today, Jack Davenport cooks a thing to eat, and the guests lured into Mel and Sue's lair this week are Charlie Higson and Paul Whitehouse from The Fast Show. The sport to be played was Formula Bun Racing (hmmmm) and Charlie becomes a little narked when his car refuses to work. We also learn that Mel has postponed her driving theory exam untill the 11th January, and Sue has hers on Saturday! GOOD LUCK SUE!!
Wedenesday 16th December 1998
On the show today we have Big Ron of footie fame to cook some lovely nosh. A huge, staggering piece of news is revealed today, as Sue discovers, live on air, that she has in fact passed her driving theory test with 35 out of 35!! What a swot! After the shock of all that, Kavana and Lulu come and eat, chat, and play mince pie hockey (the games keep on coming!). It's Sue's turn to get one up on Mel during the caller section, as she reveals that Mel was in fact once arrested, and her one phone call was to Sue. Is it true? Is it not? Maybe we shall never know.
Wednesday 23rd December 1998 - Late Lunch Behaving Badly
In case you hadn't guessed, the guests on todays v. festive show are Martin Clunes, Neil Morrisey, Caroline Quentin and Lesley Ash of Men Behaving Badly fame, who all participate in the preparation of the meal. We see Sue in a frock with trousers underneath, and she spends many a happy hour trawling through the audience's photocopied bums. During the eating bit, Mel gets hammered, as does Martin, Lesley keeps quiet, Caroline gets hysterics, Neil spills his wine all over the table, and Sue desperatly tries to keep control of the situation. Martin sucsessfully wins Shot Pud and they sing us out with a very, um, festive song, "Summer Holiday". Merry Crimbo and a Happy New Year, we'll see Melons and Perky again in 1999!!
Home again, home again, jiggety jig!
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