"Hello Perky", says Mel, as Sue stumbles through the door of the spa rubbing her eyes wearily. In the best tradition of double acts, they resemble a two-headed toy - wind them up and an irrepressible stream of banter and gossip ensues ("Has she had her baby yet?", "Do you remember the time your ex got totally out of it?", "Oooh, Perks...").
Mel and Sue are tipped to be the next French and Saunders, the queens of the comedy sketch. It’s very much a good cop, bad cop union. ("If we were cops? Oh, we’d have to be The Sweeney. Lots of overacting and bad clothes") Sue, with her black cropped hair flecked with purple, is stoney-faced and cynical (she calls it shyness). Mel, in girly hair-clips, is smiley and affable.
It’s a crucial time in their careers. Their quirky Channel 4 chat-show-cum-food-programme, Late Lunch (which started as Light Lunch but was so popular it was moved to an evening slot), will be the last series fronted by the pair.
The show has been running for two years, but Mel Giedroyc and Sue Perkins go back further. They met ten years ago at Cambridge University and since then have done a show at the Edinburgh Fringe every year. They’ve also written regularly for French and Saunders. Initially, Sue saw herself as an award-winning dramatist, Mel fancied herself as an actress ("we failed"). At first they found the format of Late Lunch a bit cheesy ("we didn’t want to do bland daytime TV"), but their own innovations - such as skittle contests using marrows - have given the show it’s unique style.
But what they really want is their own sketch show. "It’s very flattering to be compared to French and Saunders, but there won’t be another duo like them," says Mel "Anyway it’s a horrid industry - full of dodgy people. I sometimes wonder why we’re doing it."
They’re probably wondering what they’re doing at a health farm, too. They’re dubious about the effects of exercise and detoxing. Sue smokes "mmmmm" a week, and is agitated until she locates a smoking zone. "My body’s not a temple, it’s a bouncy castle," she proclaims. Mel admits she often "gets overexcited about joining the gym," but soon loses interest.
They change into bath robes and Mel wonders round in a "F*** the millennium" T-shirt. There’s much concern about the potential hazards of wearing "sinister-looking" paper knickers for the mud wrap. The most horrific realisation, however, is that they are about to see each other naked for the first time. As Mel strips, Sue breaks into hysterics. "Oh my god, I’ve just seen your nipples," she says. Mel stands to reveal her mud covered body: "This is like some weird performance art." Sue thinks she "looks like an annoying backpacker who goes to Africa and tries to fit in with the locals."
Next, they survey the hydrotherapy bath. "It’s all torture equipment," squeaks Mel. They opt for reclining on the heated beds - Mel likens it to being in Barberella, where everything is "soft, spongy and warm".
their ordeal over, they are wrapped in towels. "There’s something about being enveloped in big white towels - it makes you feel really chilled," says Mel. "There’s some poor sod in a laundry somewhere cursing," adds Sue.
Despite the fact that they regularly get recognised (a male spa member peers at them over his newspaper), Mel and Sue aren’t part of the celebrity circuit. "There’s Johnny and Denise, Zoë Ball and Jaime Theakston and, erm, us," says Mel. "Celebrities are rarely interesting," adds Sue. "To be interesting you have to educate and broaden your mind." (She respects Johnny Vaughan for educating himself in prison, although she says he’s "very driven", which doesn’t make him particularly nice.) She says that most of their circle are "doctors, lawyers, that sort of thing", and they both flat-share with old friends.
And public attention isn’t always positive. "I remember being on a train once and two girls were discussing me really loudly saying, ‘Is that her? She’s a pig in real life.’ An old lady apologised on their behalf," says Sue.
Their own friendship is vital to their success as a duo. "It’s more important than the show," says Sue, earnestly. "We’ve never had a full blown argument, though we do like to wind each other up," says Mel. "Sue is like family." They have a younger sister/older sister relationship. Although Sue is a year and a half younger than Mel, Mel easily slips into the little sister part.
They both adore their real families - Mel’s mum "sits in the front row and makes sure everybody gets the punchlines and laughs", while Sue’s dad tapes every performance. The duo get most of their material from people they know, which has led to some awkward moments. "I once did a sketch with two Dutch MTV presenters, and based my character on a Dutch girlfriend of mine," says Mel. She wasn’t amused and afterwards told me my accent ‘vas appalling’."
Does their feistiness scare men? "I have a close relationship with Sue, which could be intimidating. And, well, we’re not weather girls are we?" says Mel. They’ve both recently split up with boyfriends. Mel says she’s cool about being single, but it "would be nice to meet somebody. I’ve turned 30 now and it does put things in perspective." Despite her impenetrable exterior, Sue is quite the romantic. Her boyfriend has "recently departed. No, he’s not dead. I don’t feel desperate," she says, "but I like being in love."
By now the reality of seeing each other naked his starting to sink in. "We saw each other’s curtains, it’s curtains for us," say’s Sue, playfully. "It’s just dawning on me, - we’ve done a nude shot", adds Mel.
They leave the health spa more shocked than detoxicated. They have a meeting with the Beeb in an hour and Sue’s got vital crockery shopping to do before then. So you’re going to work for the BBC then? "Anything’s possible. Right now I’m detoxed, so I must retox," says Sue, lighting a cigarette.
If you want to go and see the accompanying piccies to this interview (and I KNOW you do!) then go here
Get your own Free Home Page