The Blue Lagoon
Part 3 in the Vacation series
by: Bitsy

Rating: PG-13, due to light sexual discussion

Short Summary: Dawson and Joey grow closer, and Pacey and Jen admit their love for each other.

Disclaimer: The disclaimer mentioned in part 1 applies to all other sections of the story.

* * * * *

"So was it everything you’d hoped it would be?", Joey asked Jen with an evil twinkle in her eye.

"More.", Jen replied, unable to conceal her grin, "And from the look on your face, I’m guessing that things went well with you and Dawson last night...", Jen prodded.

"...and this morning, and right after lunch...", Joey replied, throwing a knowing glance at Jen.

"Mission accomplished", Jen replied triumphantly.

The two women giggled as they made their descent to the beach. Dawson and Pacey hung back, having a similar conversation.

"So I noticed that you and Joey have been spending a significant amount of time today in the bedroom.", Pacey began, "Did you two finally do the forbidden dance?"

"Pacey...", Dawson began, unable to find the words, "Last night...was the most incredible sexual experience I’ve ever had...Joey was amazing--agressive, sensual, sexy--and this thing she was wearing...It was like she seduced me or something..."

"You know, Dawson, that’s funny that you mention that...", Pacey began, chuckling a little, "...because I think Jen seduced me last night too."

"What?", Dawson asked incredulously. The day before Pacey couldn’t even tell her he loved her, and now they’d already gone to bed together?

"Last night, she sent me downstairs to get a midnight snack, and when I came back she was wearing this little purple and black negligée that made her look amazing, and I asked her if she wanted me to spend the night, because she was practically undressing me, and she said yes, and after that it was over. It was...earth-shattering", Pacey said, a faraway look in his eyes.

"Earth-shattering?", Dawson asked with amusement at Pacey’s choice of words. Pacey was really far gone on Jen--especially if he was starting to use the term earth-shattering.

"Last night with Jen meant more to me than any other night I’ve spent with any other woman.", Pacey said, turning to Dawson seriously, "It was just so right..."

"I know what you mean...", Dawson said thoughtfully, "But you have to admit--it is kind of funny..."

"What?», Pacey asked.

"That they set us up...", Dawson said smiling, exchanging a look with Pacey.

"Yes they did", Pacey said, "...and good."

"Well, there’s been a lot of that going around lately.", Dawson said, thinking of how less than a week before, Jen and Pacey had set he and Joey up. "And I never got a chance to really thank you, Pace, but if you and Jen hadn’t intervened, I might be the world’s unhappiest man right now. In a lot of ways, you guys saved my life by doing what I didn’t have the balls to..."

"What are friends for?", Pacey asked.

They walked in silence for a few minutes, looking in front of them as Jen and Joey walked, side by side, smiling and laughing as they talked. Dawson broke the silence.

"So tonight’s the big night, huh?"

"Yep.", Pacey said without enthusiasm, "The night that I tell Jen I love her."

"You don’t sound too happy about being blessed with the gift of love", Dawson replied, semi-sarcastically. Pacey sighed.

"It wouldn’t be so hard for me if the possible consequences of opening myself up weren’t so high...I’m scared, man.", Pacey admitted.

"Pace, you have nothing to worry about,", Dawson tried to reassure him, "She loves you too."

"But it’s not just about love. Part of what makes me love her is that she’s so strong-minded and sure of herself. She is a capable woman. She doesn’t need me--she’ll be fine on her own...She might really really like spending time with me, and maybe she loves me too, but enough to sacrifice any aspect her incredibly promising life to be with me? That’s a whole other ball game.", Pacey said with conviction, and then continued quietly, "And even if she thinks she loves me now, if I take her away from all that she has and all that she has the potential to be, one day she’s going to resent me for it." Sighing, he finished. "She’s just so independent--I don’t want to take that away from her."

"Pacey, you are getting way carried away, alright?", Dawson said. "You’re right--Jen is an independant and strong-minded woman. She knows what she wants from life, and on the same note, she knows what she wants from love. Don’t underestimate her capacity to chose the path she wants to take."

"But--"

"Pacey, does my life mean nothing to you?", Dawson said a little louder, becoming a little emotional himself. He grabbed Pacey’s arm and stopped walking, forcing Pacey to look at him, "Joey and I followed our career ambitions for eight years, and look where it got us--to complete professional fulfillment without anyone to share our successes with. Professional success can be found in any town, city, state, or country in the world, Pacey. Love is only where your heart is. You already told me you trust your own heart. Trust hers. And if you love her, Pacey, don’t ever, especially not because of our own fears, let her go."

* * * * *

Dawson closed the driver’s side door after having helped Joey in, and jogged around to his side of the car, letting himself in. As Joey pulled the little Z3 out of the estate drive way, she turned the CD player on softly, and smiled over at Dawson. The sun was setting as they drove down the curvy hills towards a little port called Puento Portals, where Joey had spent her time before in Mallorca. Her soft hair blowing in the wind, Dawson shifted a little in his seat to look over at her while she drove. Life was perfect right now. He had Joey--the same Joey he had always known and at the same time, a new, improved in every way Joey. He knew almost everything about her and yet at the same time, he knew nothing. He felt like there was still so much to know about her--so much to talk about, so many things to do with her. Enough for a lifetime. Sighing to himself, he thought about the big night--Friday night, when he would ask Joey to be his wife. He still hadn’t thought about exactly how he was going to do it. Then again, he wasn’t sure if he could stage that scene. How he felt about her was too much for words or actions to begin to explain. And she could always say no...Pushing the thought out of his mind, he reached over and put his hand on Joey’s leg, smiling quietly at her. No matter how things turned out, he was going to enjoy every minute he had with her.

Once they reached Puento Portals and found a parking spot on a side street, they started towards the main square and went to Joey’s favorite restaurant, Martini’s, which was famous all over the island for its delicious apple tarts. Although the entire island was a vacation spot for the moderately wealthy, Puento Portals tended to be for the very wealthy. It was not uncommon to see members of the Spanish royal family surrounded by their entourage in Puento Portals, nor was it uncommon to see celebrities as famous as Dawson himself. Even Joey, though famous in a less public way, had been recognized there before. Taking his sunglasses off, slipping them into their case, and placing it into his pocket, Dawson opened his menu and began to examine it. Joey only stared on in amazement.

"No sunglasses, Dawson?", she asked, not being able to help herself.

What they said about people in Hollywood wearing their sunglasses at night was absolutely true. And although it would seem that it would only make celebrities easier to pick out of a crowd, sunglasses really were successful in making them less recognizable. That’s why Joey was so surprised that Dawson had removed his glasses.

"What? It’s dark out...I couldn’t see the menu...", Dawson said unconvincingly.

"Dawson, be real, you do realize that tabloids thrive on photos taken from places like this.", Joey said with a little bit of impatience. She knew how much Dawson hated the papparazi and all the other annoying aspects of his fame.

"Joey, you do realize that I love you more than anthing else in the world and am proud to be seen with you and can’t stand to be sitting across from you with little pieces of tinted glass separating my eyes from yours...", Dawson said, taking her hands from across the table, "Besides, we’re going to get recognized whether I’m wearing glasses or not. You are the world-famous Doctor Josephne Potter, you know..."

"Please, Dawson," Joey said, rolling her eyes and smiling, "I am recognized for my work--you are famous."

"Can you believe we’re even having this discussion?", Dawson said laughing, "I mean, who would’ve thought eight years ago that we’d even entertain the notions of hiding from the papparazi and arguing over who is more famous?"

"Yeah", Joey said smiling her crooked smile, "But admit it, Dawson, yours is a household name. I see you on TV, I see commercials for your movies, I see your screenplays in bookstores, I see you accepting academy awards, I see you chosen as one of People Magazine’s 50 most eligible bachelors--"

"You were voted one of People’s 50 most beautiful people...", Dawson reminded her, "Besides, your work is so much more important than mine--more people know who I am than know who you are, but to the people who know who you are, you’ve touched their life in some way. You’re people’s hope, Jo. You’ve saved people’s sisters and brothers and cousins, and mothers...I feel so lucky to have such a wonderful woman in my life. I’ve never been more proud of anyone as I have of you, Joey."

"And there’s nobody else as lucky as me to have someone like you in their life.", Joey said, looking into his eyes and smiling.

Regardless of the fact that she had never fallen out of love with Dawson, spending the past few days with him and talking about their lives made her realize that she was falling in love all over again, and it felt silly and scary and invigorating at the same time. A week ago, she couldn’t have imagined a love for anybody stronger than her love for Dawson. She had had no idea that love like that could exist. As she gazed deeply into his eyes during the course of the evening, she wondered how long she could take not knowing where their relationship was going. She knew what she wanted him forever. She would never let him go again. Maybe Jen was right. It was the new millenium--anything was possible, right?

* * * * *

"Dos sopa de melones, por favor, y por los platos, me gustaría las gambas a la ajillo, y él, le gustaría la spaghetti carbonara.", Jen said in perfect spanish to the extremely impressed waiter.

"Muy bien. Ustedes quieren vino?", asked the waiter.

"Sí, por favor. Una botella del Pinot Grigio, y tambien, una botella de Pellegrino con limon, por favor.", Jen replied after having studied the wine list.

"Muchas gracias, señora.", the waiter said, taking their menus,

Pacey could only stare on in amazement. He knew that she was fluent in English, Spanish, French, and German, but this was the first time that he had actually seen it in action and it left him dumbfounded. Jen turned back to him and started to talk to him about something else, which he hardly even heard. She continued talking, and Pacey could only stare at her like he had that first night they were reunited in Boston. She was completely unaware of herself, of her beauty, of the allure of her intelligence...Pacey had the sapphire necklace in a slender box in his jacket pocket and was tempted to give it to her right then and there. But that’s how he got when he was with her. When he was like that, face to face with her, he couldn’t control what he felt in his heart for her and actually had to restrain himself from saying what his heart felt (if it was at all possible to put that into words). It was only when he was away from her and had time to himself to think that he analyzed the situation and allowed himself to get scared. Although he loved the way that Jen made him feel, he wasn’t sure he liked the fact that she had so much control over him. He didn’t know what he’d do if she didn’t feel the same way about him, and he didn’t want to think about it.

Throughout dinner, they talked more, about their lives at home, about their careers, about people they knew, but each carefully avoiding the topic of the future, much to the other one’s relief. The topic of where their relationship was going had consistently and unfailingly stalked almost every conversation they had had since their first night together. It was always in the air--the big question, and both knew that they’d have to address it at one time or another. Pacey wasn’t even sure that he wanted the fact that he was going to tell Jen he loved her to lead into that conversation. But the more they talked, especially that night, the clearer it became that that conversation was coming soon. Sunday they would be leaving for the U.S. again, and life would return to normal, unless they did something about it...

* * * * *

After having stuffed herself with all of the wonderful foods she had missed at Martini’s, Joey suggested going for a walk. She had a favorite spot by the beach where she would always go to and think. She had thought about everything there--life, love, happiness. She had laughed, cried, and thought about everything--it was one of the most special places in the world to her and she wanted Dawson to see it. It was at the opposite end of the marina from where the restaurant had been, closer to where the smaller boats were. It was a place along the road to the old lighthouse. Lined with huge rocks, she used to sit looking out at the ocean. This was the one spot in town that gave a perfect view of the moon. Below was a small beach where teenagers and young lovers would go at night, but otherwise, there was nobody around. Holding Dawson’s hand, they walked silently in the darkness towards Joey’s rock. Nostalgia overcame her as she approached it and sat. Dawson did the same.

"You came up here all by yourself?", Dawson asked, breaking the silence.

"Almost every night I spent here.", Joey said softly, gazing at the crescent moon.

"Weren’t you scared to be all the way out here alone?", Dawson continued.

"No. Never.", she replied. "This place was my peace."

"So what did you think about?", Dawson asked softly.

"Everything", she said with a little laugh, "my life, my mom...you...It’s funny, but this is the only place that never made me sad thinking about you. It’s like, for some reason, being here made me feel like everything between me and you would work out the way I had always dreamed with us being together forever. Same with my mom. I’ve thought about her so many times up here, but I can’t cry about her while I’m here. It just seems like, even though I miss her more than anything, I know that she’s still with me and everything’s going to be okay."

"Maybe this place is magic", Dawson said, "Maybe it tells you the truth--that even though you miss your mom, things are going to be okay...", Dawson hesitated before continuing, turning towards Joey and looking intently at her, "...and that me and you will be together forever."

Shivers ran down Joey’s spine and goosebumps emerged from her soft skin at Dawson’s mere mention of them being together forever. She had never thought of her spot as a prophesy, but if there was any place in the world where she was completely at one with the universe, it was there. If cosmic forces really controlled everything, Dawson’s theory could make perfect sense. Maybe the cosmos were going to bind them together forever--maybe they already had.

After having remained silently for a while longer, each thinking about the other, they finally began their walk back towards the car. Before going, though, Joey turned around one last time to look at her rock, not knowing when she would see it, or need it, again. Dawson wrapped his arms around her from behind and bent a little, to rest his chin on her shoulder. Finally, she turned around and looked up at Dawson. Not needing to say the words they both knew the other was thinking, Joey tilted her head up to Dawson and brushed his lips lightly. Caressing her face in his hands, he bent to kiss her more deeply and sweetly at the same time. They stayed that way for a long time, feeling as if they were king and queen of the universe. But tonight was different--because for the first time Joey was not alone, and not just because Dawson was there. Joey had been right--the place was crawling with tabloid photographers. And by the next printing of the National Inquirer, the world would know that one of it’s most eligble bachelors might not be one for much longer.

* * * * *

Having planned a romantic night at the beach for them, Pacey drove back to Aguas Calientes, through the estate, and down to the beach. Soft music that he knew Jen liked was playing, a large, cushy beach chair for two along with a blanket had been set up for them, and tiki torches were strategically placed sticking out of the sand. He had ordered champagne, strawberries, and chocolate ice cream as a joke. When Jen saw his choice, she laughed a little.

"Are strawberries and chocolate ice cream your favorite snack, or am I missing something?", she asked smiling and raising an eyebrow.

"I just thought that you might be ‘hungry’ again...", Pacey came back smiling sexily as he popped the champagne cork.

"Are you implying that I had ulterior motives when I invited you upto my room last night?", Jen asked, trying to sound innocent, but unable to keep herself from blushing a little.

"Well...if the sexy little purple negligée fits...", Pacey said handing her a champagne flute.

"You liked that, did you?", Jen said, smiling wickedly.

"I thought that you could tell that I liked it...", he replied, gazing sheepishly at a very amused Jen.

"Mmmm", was all she said.

"I swear...you women of the new millenium and your power trips", Pacey said only half-joking, rolling his eyes. "As much as I hate to admit it, you successfully seduced me last night."

"You didn’t mind, did you?", asked Jen sweetly. Pacey turned serious and took a step closer to her.

"Jen, regardless of the fact that you completely set me up for it, I thought that it was really special. Nobody has ever made me feel like you do--like the way I feel being with you right now, and like the way you made me feel last night."

Jen was taken aback. The joking, lighthearted air of their conversation had done a 180 with Pacey’s last comment. Not just because Pacey had basically said about Jen what Jen was feeling about him, but because of what he had said at the very beginning.

"Do you think that all last night was to me was some big power-trip setup?", Jen asked, on the verge of hurt.

"I don’t know what it was, Jen, but I’m glad it happened.", Pacey said sincerely, "I never knew it could be like that."

Jen didn’t know what to say, but she knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to stop pretending and skirting around the issues and ask Pacey what he really thought and tell him what she felt. This was the closest they had gotten so far--would she have the courage to bring them up again? Placing her champagne on the table that held their food and grabbing a strawberry, Jen stood and walked a few steps from Pacey, nibbling absently on the tiny red fruit. She had no idea what she was going to say to him or how she would even begin, but she knew that she had to say something, or she could lose him. Staring out at the sea, she sighed, paralyzed, knowing that this moment was crucial to the future of their relationship.

Pacey, meanwhile, was mentally kicking himself for having made that last comment. What would she think of him now? Had that come out wrong? Did she think that he was making a comment about her as a sexual partner and not her as a life partner? As a thousand ‘what-ifs’ flew through his head, like a ton of bricks, Dawson’s words from earlier that day hit him hard. If you love her, Pacey, don’t ever, especially not because of our own fears, let her go...Getting up and going to Jen, he stood behind her and put his arms around her, burying his face in her shoulder, inhaling her sweet smell and imagining, for just a second, what life would be like without her. Tears springing to his eyes, he collected himself and started talking to her, his eyes closed. It would be much easier talking from his heart if he didn’t have to face her.

"Jen...I don’t really know how to tell you this, but...", he trailed off.

"I don’t know what happened between me and you, but...", he sighed heavily.

Walking around to face her, taking one of her hands in his and raising her lowered face with his finger, he saw that she was crying. His heart breaking, he swept her up into his arms, on the verge of tears himself.

"Jen, I’m so sorry--sometimes I say stupid things--but only when I can’t say what I’m really thinking. It’s just that sometimes--"

"Pacey?", Jen said pulling away from him, confused. "What are you talking about?"

"I’m, uh, trying to say that I’m sorry.", he said sincerely.

"For what?" Jen asked, still confused.

"For hurting you, for offending you by what I said", he said.

"You didn’t offend me.", she said, lowering her head again.

"Then why did you walk away from me and why are you crying?", Pacey asked, raising her head with his finger and becoming confused himself.

"Because...", Jen sighed.

"Because what?", Pacey asked.

"Because I don’t like the way you make me feel. I--", Jen started, and then realized that what she had been trying to say had come out wrong.

Pacey, meanwhile, felt like he had been kicked in the stomach. Dropping her hands and turning away a little, he felt numb. Why was he so unlucky in love?

"No! That’s not what I mean!", Jen exclaimed, "I mean it makes me uncomfortable to know that I need you so much."

Pacey didn’t move, unable to look at her yet. He didn’t know what to think. Was she trying to let him down easy and had what she said about him not making her feel good been a Freudian slip? Or was she trying to tell him that she felt the same way?

"Jen, I came here tonight to tell you...something important--something that’s going to change our relationship. And it’s really hard for me to say because I’ve never had to say it to anybody before, ever. And I know it’s going to be wierd because we’ve been friends for years and that adds a whole other dimension to the whole situation. And I don’t know how you’ll take it, and I hope you feel the same way, but if you don’t I hope that we can still be friends because I can’t imagine what life would be like without you--especially after this week...", Pacey trailed off, and swallowed, taking a step towards her.

Jen took a step back. The breakup talk--she had heard it one too many times before, and she didn’t want to hear it again--not from Pacey. All the hurt she felt for what she thought she was about to hear turned to anger.

"Save it, Pacey", she spat. "I don’t want to hear it. You don’t have to go through the whole thing. I’ve heard it before. Sure we can be friends. We always have been, right? It’s okay, really.", she said, turning to walk away.

What did she think that he was going to do? Break up with her?

"Are you nuts, Jen?", Pacey asked, going after her, grabbing her by the arm and spinning her around.

"No, Pacey.", Jen said, tears now flowing freely, "--just realistic".

"Jen, what did you think I was going to say to you back there?", he asked, raising his voice.

"Wasn’t it obvious, Pacey?", raising her voice too.

"You didn’t let me finish!", Pacey screamed louder.

"Give me a little credit! I’m not stupid!", she retorted angrily.

"I know you’re not stupid!", Pacey shouted, and then collected himself before continuing, "You’re gorgeous and brilliant and talented and funny...and that’s why I love you.", he finished softly.

Raking his fingers through his hair, he turned and started walking back towards the water. He had just said the three little words that explained his heart, and now he did’t know what to do. Things weren’t exactly going as planned. When he’d imagined telling her, he’d imagined him being able to say it calmly and rationally, and just waiting for her reaction. And even if she said she didn’t feel the same, he wanted her to have the necklace so that she’d never forget what they’d shared, whatever that meant to her...

Pacey kept walking slowly towards the water. She had walked away from him once, and he’d tried to stop her. He wasn’t going to stop her again. He couldn’t make her love him. This time, she’d have to come back to him. If you love somebody, let them go, if they stay away, it was never meant to be. Isn’t that what they said? Feeling as if his heart was being ripped out of his chest with every passing moment, Pacey soon became convinced that Jen wasn’t coming for him. He wanted to dive into the dark waters and let the current consume him. But that thought just made him sad. Because he had found somebody that he loved so much that he wasn’t sure he could live life without her.

He didn’t know how much time had passed until he heard footsteps.

"Pacey...", Jen trailed off. He didn’t turn around. "Pacey, look at me.", she said softly.

"I can’t right now, Jen.", he said choking up a little, not wanting to break into the sobs he knew were inevitable.

"You didn’t let me finish either.", she said, not pushing the issue further. "Before, I said that it made me uncomfortable to know that I need you so much. And I didn’t think I needed anybody--any man for that matter. Because I need you more than I’ve ever needed anybody else and more that I ever thought or would have wanted to."

"But?", Pacey asked.

"No buts", she said, stepping up to him and looking up into his eyes. "I love you too, Pacey.", Jen said.

Embracing her tightly, the tears that he had been holding back for so long came forth. Now both of them were crying freely, holding each other and never wanting to let go. Pacey stroked her hair gently and cried tears of love. Jen buried her head in his shoulder and let it all go. Finally, they both pulled themselves together. Pacey wiped a stray tear from Jen’s face. Looking into her clear blue eyes in the moonlight suddenly made him think of the sapphire.

"So I, uh, have something I wanted to give to you tonight.", Pacey said.

"You do?", Jen asked smiling a little.

"Mmhmmm", Pacey said, smiling himself at seeing Jen smile.

Reaching into the breast pocket of his jacket, he pulled out the long, powder blue necklace box and handed it to Jen. Hands trembling, she took it. Dawson had been right. Women could smell Tiffany’s a mile away. One look at the powder blue and Jen knew where it was from. Slowly opening the box, she gasped as she saw what was inside.

"It’s beautiful, Pacey", Jen said, still wide-eyed.

"It reminded me of your eyes, so I had to get it. And since it’ll probably look better on you...", he trailed off, smiling. "Do you like it?"

"Pacey, I love it. Can you put it on me?", she asked.

"With pleasure", he replied, doing so.

Standing back to look at her in the moonlight, he smiled slightly, drinking that image in. No matter what happened between them, he knew he’d never forget that moment.