CHIEF CLANCY WIGGUM.

Patty: Mr. Burns has been shot! Wiggum: Just a minute! This isn't Mr. Burns at all! Its a mask! Wiggum: Wait, it is Bruns. Heh, his wrinkly skin luh-looks like a mask. Marge: I don't think we'll ever know who did this. Everyone in town is a suspect Hibbert: Well, i couldn't possibly solve this mystery. Can you? (Hibbert points directly at the camera, it turns out that he is actually pointing at Wiggum.) Wiggum: Yeah, I'll give it a shot. I mean you kno it is my job right?

"EL BARTO" graffiti appears on the front steps of the police station in episode 2F20 Who shot MR.BURNS (part2)

	Hey what about that jazz teacher that got laid off? You know uh, Mr. Samba? Senor Mambo, what was it?
	Tito Puente?
	Yeach
	Well he did vow revenge, he heh but i can't see him doin somthing illegal. He's in show business He's a celebrity!
	Let's roll boys

Tito Puente's "Slanderous Mambo" Wouldns won't last long But an insulting song Burns will always carry with him So I'll settle my score on the salsa floor with this vengeful Latin rhythm Burns!! Con el corazon de perro Senor Burns! El Diablo con dineor It may not surprise you but all of us despise you Please die and fry in hell you rotten rich old wretch!! Adios viejo! "Gee i hope all the suspects are this much fun!!"

	Father, I'm not a Catholic, but well, I tried to march in the St. Patrick's Day Parade. But anyway, I''ve got a rather large sin to confess. I'm the one who, who.. shot Mr. Burns!
	Tha's all i needed to hear. Boy this thing works great!

INNOCENT: Sideshow Mel points out that Smithers could not possibly shot because he was home at 3 o' clock watching his favorite TV show, "Pardon My Zinger" What Smithers is guilty of is shooting Jasper in his wooden leg. (left one)

I found a hair sample in Burn's suit. Can you find out who it belongs to? DNA expert: Boy.. it'll take weeks and weeks.. (Wiggum gives him a a pack of Larmies) DID I say WEEKS?? I meant Seconds! If you've ever handled a penny, the government's got your DNA. Why do you think they keep them in circulation?

	This bullet matches the one we took out of Burns. Homer Simpson, you are under arrest for attempted murder.
	D'oh!
	Yeah, that's what they all say. They all say "D'oh"

	I think we should hold a film festival and give out prizes.
	Could we make our won movies and enter them?
	Yes!
	At last-- an excuse to wear makeup!

	Cuff him boys, we're puttin this dirtbag away
	Ha! I'll be back on the street i twenty-four hours!
	We'll try to make it twelve

"Hey Krusty, Krusty, remember the time we got loaded and set those beavers loose in that pine furniture store?"

Well its no secret. Our city is under siege by a grafitti vandal known as El Barto. Police artist have a composite sketch to go over and if anyone has any information, please contact us immediately. (A sketch is passed aroudn; Bart gets it and sees that the drawing is of an older, stubbly, mean-looking version of himself) Cool man

"Krusty the clown, you are under arrest for armed robber. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say blah blah blah blah blah"

"People now.. Please , Please, I can Assure you we'll be using the most advanced, scientific techniques in the field of...body finding

"Fat Tony is a cancer on this fair city. He is the cancer and I am the..uh..what cures cancer?

"Well, I am afraid we've got a budget problem, Mrs. Simpson. your boy picked a bad time to fall down a well. If he'd done it at the start of fiscal year, no problemo.

	Don't you worry, Mr. Mayor, this little bird will be crackin' rocks by the end of the week.
	Wiggum, you glorified night watchman, let her go!
	But she broke the law
	Thanks for the civics lesson. Now listen to me. If Marge Simpson goes to jail, I can kiss the chick vote goodby. And if I go down, you are gonna break my fall!
	Word to the wise, Wuimby. Don't write checks your butt can't cash.
	Hear me loud and clear Wiggum. You bite me, I'll bite back.
	You talk the talk, Quimby, But do you walk the walk?

Chief Wiggum is a New Orleans Dectective and Principal Skinner is "Skinny boy" his associate. A mysterious crime figure named Big Daddy Kidnaps Wiggum's son Ralph. Chasing Big Daddy through the streets of New Orleans. Wiggum finds Ralph but lets Big Daddy slip, away certain he'll meet the villain again. Chief Wiggum, P.I. will return...... RIGHT NOW! "Well Golly, I'd love to chat but my son's been kidnapped. You haven't seen him, have you? Caucasion male, between the ages of 6 and 10, thinning hair??"

	That sounded like an explosion at the old Simpson place.
	Forget, that's two blocks away.
	Looks like there's beer coming out of the chimney.
	I am proceeding on foot; call in a code eight!
	(into radio) We need pretzels; repeat, PRETZELS!.

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