It's inconceivable to him, that I could know anyone else, that there would be someone on this planet that would consider me worthy enough to hang around with.
NOT me...
Not his "Wills"...
Willow slowly released the breath she had been holding. Shaking her head, she knew she could never stay angry at him for long. Taking a cleansing breath, she looked over what she had written so far, smiling now and then.
"Okay, let's get back to it," she said out loud.
Enough about Xander, he has Cordelia, they suit each other.
She rolled her eyes.
It's not like I can be seen walking hand in hand with ________.
NOT yet.
I have to give Buffy credit, I've often wondered how she's able to handle her relationship with Angel. We talk... but there are just some things you can't talk about, even to your best friends.
It must be... no, it's hard on her at times. Never knowing if this is the day some vampire gets the better of her. Or if Angel might die...
And talk about an age difference.
He's so much older than her, he's older than anyone I've ever known, that includes Grandpa Aaron.
Oops, gotta go, sounds like mom and dad are home... talk to you later.
Willow.
CHAPTER 18
Closing the file, Willow went downstairs, opening the front door just as her parents walked up. She went with them into the living room, and asked them how their day went. She told them that she had a wonderful afternoon, and that Xander would be stopping by tomorrow to study for a test on Monday.
Fighting off a yawn, Willow snuggled next to her mom on the couch.
"Honey... Willow?" Mrs. Rosenberg said, looking down on her daughter who looked quite content to sleep where she was. 'My baby,' she thought.
"Hmm," she answered sleepily.
"Why don't you get some sleep, we have an early day tomorrow," her mother suggested.
"Okay," she responded, leaving the warmth and security of her mother's side. She stretched, and placed a quick kiss on both their cheeks and headed up to her room. Changing her clothes, she quickly slipped underneath the covers, looking out her bedroom window, she watched as moonbeams danced on the floor. Smiling inwardly, she let her mind drift to the picnic, letting the sights and sounds gently lull her to sleep.
Willow woke up bright and early the next morning. After taking a shower, she made her way downstairs. She found her parents at the kitchen table reading the newspaper, once she finished off a bowl of cereal, she went into the living room and watched cartoons until her parents told her it was time to go.
The shopping excursion went well, her parents had asked her again to go with them to New York. She'd given them the same answer, she didn't want to leave school and alter her grades... even if the trip was only a week long.
They had arrived at the house in time to see Xander walking from the opposite direction.
"Hello Alexander," Mr. Rosenberg said, as he got out of the car and began taking packages out of the back seat.
"Good afternoon Xander," Mrs. Rosenberg added, smiling at the teenager.
"Hi Mr. and Mrs. Rosenberg. Can I help with anything?" he asked, looking at Willow's parents with affection.
"No, we're fine. You two go on, Willow told us that you were coming by to study for a test tomorrow," Mrs. Rosenberg replied, "but thank you for asking."
"Yeah, MAJOR math test tomorrow. I wanna pick Willow's brain for awhile," he said, taking Willow into a headlock and pantomiming opening the top of her head and peering in.
"Eww," Willow replied, after Xander had let her go.
"Yes... well," Mr. Rosenberg replied. He had never gotten used to Alexander's macabre sense of humor.
"Xander... let's go," Willow said, dragging her friend into the house.
"Women... can't live without me," he cried out behind him.
"I HEARD that Xander!" Willow replied.
"I don't know about that boy sometimes," Willow's father said, shaking his head.
"Just sometimes dear?" Mrs. Rosenberg replied, a grin appearing on her face.
Willow's parents took the packages into the house, they knew that the kids would be studying upstairs. If it had been any other boy except Xander, they would have seen them in the kitchen, with books strewn over the table. He was the exception to the rule they had about boys being upstairs in her room.
After studying for about an hour, Willow called for a break. Xander breathed in a sigh of relief, and was grateful for the rest.
"Wills... don't bite my head off or anything, but... who did you go out with yesterday?" he asked.
CHAPTER 19
Sighing, Willow knew this would come up, she was actually surprised that he had held out so long.
"Hey... you don't have to tell me if you don't want to..." he told her.
"It's not that I don't want to... um... I... I can't," she replied, casting her eyes away from him. "It's too early to say anything. I'm not ready yet," she explained, thinking, 'Will I ever be ready to tell him?'
"Can't?" he looked around the room, making sure they were alone. "Why not? You're not in trouble are you?" he asked, concerned.
"Just what are you saying?" she asked dumbfounded.
"NOT that kind of trouble!" he exclaimed waving his hands in front of him, as if to ward off the look she had given him. "I mean, is it someone you're parents don't want you to see kind of thing?" he finished, anxiously awaiting her reply.
"No, it's not that... " she said, letting the rest of the question unanswered.
So... why can't you tell me?" he asked.
"Xander, can we not talk about this anymore? Please," she uttered, hoping he would back down for the moment.
"Alright, I'll drop it... for now, but you know we can talk about it... or anything else, if you wanted... right?" he asked.
'Not everything Xander,' she thought, then pushed it aside. She smiled as she watched the lost puppy dog look appear on his face once again. She knew then why she had fallen for him. He could be a complete idiot at times, but she could count on him.
"Yeah, I do... thanks Xander," she replied.
"Okay, enough of the mush," he said grinning. "I don't believe I'm going to say this...," he sighed, "but let's get back to studying."
They spent another two hours going over the material that would be on the test. Willow knew he'd pass...by how much, was another matter all together.
Her parents had asked Xander to stay over for dinner, which he politely refused, stating that he was going out with his parents, but thanked them just the same.
"Night Wills. See you tomorrow, thanks for the help," he said.
"Bye Xander," she replied waving as her father backed out of the driveway and drove him home, after Willow's father insisted it was the least he could do. Willow was thankful, she didn't like the thought of Xander walking home so close to dusk.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next day, Willow never had a chance to drop in on Giles. He had called her the night before to let her know that he wouldn't have time to see her. He was in the midst of preparing Buffy for a test put forth by the Council, and he needed to give her his utmost attention.
Willow had a feeling it could be dangerous, she had down loaded enough information on various endurance regimens she could think of. Giles didn't tell exactly what kind of test the Council was going to give, but Willow knew one thing for sure...
She didn't want to be in Buffy's shoes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The week had gone by at a snail's pace. Here it was, Friday, and she had hardly seen Giles or Buffy the entire week.
'I didn't think I'd miss Rupert this much,' she thought to herself as she left the school grounds and headed home.
The one person she did see was Xander.
A bittersweet smile appeared on the teenager's face, when she recalled what had happened on Wednesday at school, as she walked down the tree lined sidewalk.
She had gone to her locker to pick up her math book when she heard someone shouting her name:
"WILLOW!!!"
She closed the locker door and looked down the hall to see Xander running towards her.
"Hey! Wills!" Xander knew people were staring at him. He didn't care, he was used to it, especially now, since it was common knowledge that he was going out with Cordelia.
"Xander... what's wrong?" she asked, when he finally reached her.
"Look..., " he said, barely surpressing the grin he was wearing, as he presented her with a piece of paper.
"At what...?" she replied, taking it from him, scanning it quickly.
Xander watched as Willow's face broke out in a giant smile. "Xander... you did it! You passed the test!"
He buffed his fingers on his shirt, a smirk on his face. "Yes... I did," he told her. "Thanks to you Wills," he pulled her into a hug. "Thanks to you."
There was a time in her life, when she would have savored moments like this... this closeness to him.
When she thought it would be the only way she could ever hold him.
To bask in the love she felt for him.
It was at that moment, in that crowded hallway that she realized... she wasn't in love him anymore.
Of course she loved him, she always would. He'd always be an important part of her life, but after all this time, what he offered wasn't enough, and that had saddened her.
To finally let him go, after he had spent so much time in her heart.
But she knew someone who would... could offer her more than friendship alone.
Part 5
