Semper Fi Wing
In this wing we house those patients that are addicted to Colonel Sarah MacKenzie.
These patients love “Mac” the beautiful, sexy, talented attorney and feisty
Marine she is.
They will find ways of making adultery and fraternization excusable. These
patients have had to deal with a lot in a short period of time. An abusive
childhood, alcoholism, stalking, death of her father, fraternization,
sudden desire to date an Australian officer and much more.
To some Sarah is sweet, understanding, and smart (except with her choice of men).
To others she is "confused" and "lost". She can be loyal friend who will go
to the end of the world (or Russia) to help out a friend. Having to work with
some of the best looking men in the US Navy, she tries to keep things balanced
and her head straight, but she is far from perfect. Her occasional weaknesses
and mistakes make her an unpredictable character and that makes the patients who
suffer of this illness basically incurable.
These patients are easily recognized as they are known to walk around dressed
in green clothes. Occasionally they can be found eating hamburgers, flirting
with losers and kickboxing.
Are you a potential patient?
Symptons/Signs of Addiction:
1- You've taken up kickboxing.
2- Your cat's name is Sarah.
3- When someone asks you the time, you know exactly what time it is.
4- You want to learn Russian.
5- You already know how to speak Farsi.
6- You cook pot roast every day.
7- You insist they sell you a “Beltway Burger” at your local McDonald's.
8- You decide it is time to take up paleontology as a hobby.
9- You book your vacation to go to Red Rock Mesa, Arizona.
10- You refuse to drink alcohol at any parties.
11- Every weekend you visit a Marine Base for a tour.
12- On a wild night out with your friends you decide to get a tatoo and keep
everyone guessing where it is.
13- You check out perfume counters, trying to find a sample of
'Fixation'.
14- You talk about Harm all the time & think AJ is sexy.
15- Somebody asks you about Catherine the Great. You reply that she plays
Maj. MacKenzie on JAG now.
16- When walking alone in mall parking lots you get very nervous.
17- You see a heading in your Science textbook saying Dalton's theory of
something or other, and you think, "What? The loser has a theory?"
18- You tell your boss you deserve a promotion even if you can't explain why.
19- You move to Falls Church to see if you can find Mac.
20- You stand in the pouring rain trying to get that perfect wet hair look.
21- You get sick when you fly.
22- You ask your lover to give you a pearl necklace as a gift.
23- You dress up as a gypsy on your days off.
24- You forget to get a divorce.
25- You’re studying to become an attorney.
26- You think Clayton Webb is "lovable".
27- You get the urge to go topless on the beach.
28- You start calling your Godson "little AJ".
29- You start wearing an engagement ring on the right hand.
30- You consider marrying someone you do not know.
31- You decide to go to Australia next winter.
32- You name your dog Jingo.
33- Your new nickname is "Jenny".
After reading this list if you can identify yourself with:
1-10 Signs You have been infected with this illness.
11-17 You have great potential for becoming a patient.
18-30 You definitely belong in our Asylum. Please pick up
your straight jacket on your way to the Semper Fi wing located on the 3th floor.
Over 30 Attention security! Dangerous patient on the premises lock all doors!
You're too far gone!
Characteristics
Favorite color: Green
Favorite car: Jeep
Favorite food: Beltway Burgers. No alcohol please.
Favorite day: Tuesday
Favorite activity: Kick boxing and dating wrong men.
