Title: Even More Moon Madness

Warnings: This follows Sailor Moon Madness and it also goes after SOS – Stranger on Sugar

All the planning went down the proverbial toilet when someone, somewhere 'flushed'. There was a tearing in the fabric of dimensions; a portal was opened allowing another poor team who had been forced into Sailor Moon Madness to come to Arus.

Keith's arms still wrapped around him, Lance's mouth dropped wide open when he saw a familiar brown head in Sailor Moon style in the jumble of male limbs and fukas. "DUO?"

"Nope!" Duo grinned shaking his head. "I am Super Sailor Moon."

"You are insane is what you are." Trowa said, as he stood with his arms crossed across his chest dressed as Sailor Jupiter.

"INJUSTICE!" Wufei ranted, as he had been nonstop since being forced to be Sailor Mars.

"I don't know, I kinda like it." Quatre said, as he played with the hem of his Sailor Venus fuku.

Heero, as Tuxedo Mask said nothing. How he got them into the costumes, well except Quatre, was a mystery that just might never be solved.

Lotor shook his head as he compared the scouts. "And I thought the Voltron Force was a bunch of freaks!"

"Who are you calling a freak you blue skinned weirdo." Duo said, looking at the strange man…alien…whatever it was.

Lance sighed. "Bro, this weirdo is Prince Lotor of Planet Doom...currently known as Malachite."

Sven coughed. "Um...why are all of you dressed like that?"

"Someone had too much sugar." Quatre said.

"And was bored." Trowa added.

"Look who's talking." Wufei snorted. "You're dressed the same."

"Um…is he suppose to be blue?" Duo asked, still studying Lotor.

"How much sugar did you have Duo?" Keith paled slightly. He remembered the last time a certain someone had too much sugar and decided to 'pop' in for a little visit. "And why did you come here?"

"It WASN'T that much sugar." Duo stamped his foot and pouted. "Someone hid most of it. And who knows why we are here, just one of them portals opened again."

"Um…I have a question. " Lotor said. "Is that 'Sailor Moon' a guy or a girl?"

"Gee, I wonder why." Lance chuckled, before turning to glare at Lotor. "This Sailor Moon is a guy."

"Doesn't look like one." Lotor said.

"Is he always such a big meanie?" Duo asked. He very dramatically grabbed hold of Tuxedo Mask for 'protection'. (Like Duo needs protection...more like everyone else needs it!)

Lance would have responded, but Keith started squeezing him a little too tightly, glaring at a once more leering Lotor. Hunk cracked his knuckles. "Yes he is...a stupid one too."

"Oh." Duo said, glancing back and forth from a red faced Lance to a pale Lotor.

"Why are you guy dressed as Sailor Scouts? You don't have a sugar junkie in your midst…nor a moon freak." Wufei asked.

Sven growled. "We have something much worse!"

Keith nodded. "It's called Allura...A-llur-a!"

"SEE! SEE! TOLDJA I AIN'T THE WORST THING THERE IS!" Duo danced around happily. "An Allura…is that anything like a Relena?"

Pidge blinked. "Um...who or what is a Relena?"

"A super bitch!" Duo growled, totally breaking his Sailor Moon character. "She actually thinks she has a chance with Heero and keeps trying to take him away and get rid of me."

"Sounds the same." Keith snorted. "Princess Allura is in one of her 'interesting' moods. She decided that we should all dress up as Sailor Scouts."

"That sounds more like Duo." Quatre said.

"Like I had to force you." Duo said. He plunked down on the ground, sitting on his knees. "If you didn't wanna play you shoulda just left."

"Actually, we were discussing how to get back at Allura." Lance grinned evilly. "Would any of you like to help?"

"REALLY?" Duo asked excitedly. "If she is anything like Relena…who may or may not have followed us here…I'd love to help."

"Oh man!" Hunk groaned. "I hope she didn't follow you here! One bitch is bad enough!"

"Maybe we could get them both! Teach them both a lesson." Duo said. Duo suddenly grabbed a rock and threw it at Lotor's head. "Hey Little Boy Blue! Keep your eyes to yourself! And not on Lan-man!"

Lance snickered as the rock bounced off of Lotor's thick skull. The snicker almost turned into hysterical laughter when Lotor's glare at Duo quickly transformed into pure terror when Heero turned his icy eyes on Little Boy Blue. Lance didn't have to see to know that Keith was grinning evilly. "So guys..." Lance coughed, trying to change the subject before blood was shed...at least before they had their fun with the princess. "Should we let them in?"

"Why not. What could be worse then a sugar high Duo? Perfect punishment." Keith said, and the others quickly agreed.

"OKAY! Let's get her." Duo said excitedly jumping to his feet.

"Um...I think maybe I'll go home now…" Lotor said.

Keith glared fiercely at Lotor. "Why don't you!"

"Yeah! Go home now or I will punish you." Duo said taking a 'Sailor Moon' stance and glaring at Lotor.

The blue prince, who obviously had a yellow streak down his back, got to his feet and took off running. One looney team was enough to deal with...he wasn't crazy enough to deal with two!

Lance sighed in relief. "Now that that annoyance is out of the way, let's get started!"

%%%%%%%%%%

Grumbling, Coran 'Artemis' wandered the halls of the castle in his white cat suit. He always knew Allura could be bad, but this 'second' Allura was even worse! And even more bossy! Allura would take an instant liking to this other girl, Relena.

Sighing, Coran looked into another room. "VENUS RAGE CHAIN SURROUND!" Before Coran could turn to see who yelled, he was jerked off his feet by a chain wrapping around his legs and found himself staring up at a smirking Sven 'Sailor Venus' and some other grinning psycho 'Sailor Mars'.

Sven chuckled evilly as he held the chain. "Corny, but still effective."

"The flames of justice burn brightly." Wufei said. "Mars Fire Attack!" Wufei threw small spark caps at the trapped 'cat'; they sparked around Coran like harmless little fireflies.

Sven glanced at Wufei warily. "And I thought my line was corny..."

"Don't look at me. Maxwell and your friend Lance were the ones who thought up all the catch phrases." Wufei said. "And I say we change the game a little…" Wufei took out a packet of matches from his pocket and struck one, sparking it to life. He bent down and set the tail of the white cat suit on fire.

Coran screamed in terror, breaking free from the chains (It's Super Artemis! *giggle*) and making a wild dash down the hall toward the conservatory, his arms flapping up and down like a spooked chicken! Sven grinned in approval. "Nice, very nice. I like how your mind works. Let's follow the kitty. Wouldn't want him to get hurt...too severely...yet that is."

Wufei grinned and nodded, and they followed in the direction Artemis had fled. Coran was sitting in the water fountain, with little trails of smoke still rising from the extinguished flame. "I thought cats didn't like water." Wufei said.

"I thought so too. You learn something new everyday." Sven chuckled evilly. "How about we see what else this kitty can do?"

"Maybe he can fly." Wufei pondered out-loud.

"NO! NONONONO! YOU ARE INSANE!" Coran scrambled to get away but being wet and sloshing a lot of water on the floor, he slipped and landed hard on his butt.

Sven snickered as he grabbed Coran's collar, pulling out him of the room. "They always say that cats always land on their feet. Let's test that theory. Want too?"

"NO! You can't…I am not really a cat! I won't land on my feet!" Coran said as if they actually thought he was a real cat.

"There is only one way to find out, trial and error. " Wufei said.

"NOOOOO!" Coran screamed as Wufei and Sven dragged the waterlogged cat down the hall.

%%%%%%%%%%

Quatre 'Sailor Venus' hid behind Trowa 'Sailor Jupiter' the second Nanny 'Luna' came into view. "That has to be fattest, most scary cat I have ever seen." He whispered. There was no way the blond was going to come out from behind his lover's back until this hulking Nanny was at least partly subdued.

Pidge 'Sailor Mercury' nodded, also hiding behind his lover. "At least you don't have to see her every single day!"

"Why you pesky little boys. Do you have any idea how much trouble you have caused?" Nanny stalked towards the four boys.

"Oh really?" Pidge snorted. "Then let's cause some more! MERCURY WATER BALLOON BLAST!" Pidge jumped from behind Hunk and bombarded Luna with very special water balloons...water mixed with toothpaste and soap.

Nanny literally growled with rage and tried to charge but the slippery concoction sent her crashing to the floor instead.

"Jupiter thunder zap." Trowa said, monotonically, throwing small, altered joy buzzers at the wet cat suited Nanny. Each ball size buzzer had the voltage of a nine-volt battery creating a short burst of electric field to 'zap' when it hit her.

Nanny was screaming and howling as she jumped and slid around the room, arms flaying around so fast that they looked like miniature tornadoes! Hunk was almost beside himself with laughter! "Let's liven things up a bit." Chuckling Hunk 'Sailor Jupiter' threw over thirty small rubber balls. "JUPITER THUNDER BALL ATTACK!"

Nanny was skidding around as the balls went under her feet and bounced off her, her arms flaying even more as she tried to keep her balance. By this time they were all in hysterics.

Quatre stepped from beside Trowa, having felt safe enough after Trowa's attack to come out from his safe hiding place. "VENUS WHIP ENTANGLE!" He snapped a long whip, wrapping around one of Nanny's ankles and sending her crashing to the floor…with tiny rubber balls still bouncing all around her.

Hunk rushed forward and quickly tied the whip around Nanny, pinning her arms to her sides. By this point, Nanny was livid and cursing profusely!

Pidge's jaw crashed through the floor. "Man! Whoever thought that she would have such a nasty language!"

"Makes her even more scary some how." Quatre said, watching as Hunk and Trowa made sure she was well secured. "Aren't you glad that we have nice big strong boyfriends to do all the hard work for us." He grinned at Pidge.

"Among other things..." Pidge smirked, snickering as Quatre turned red.

Trowa and Hunk literally dragged a fuming Nanny down the hallway as Quatre and Pidge followed close behind. They soon entered a small room, where Coran was tied to a chair visibly trembling as Sven and Wufei stood a few feet from him, standing very close and talking.

Hunk chuckled at a black and blue white cat with singed fur. "I see that you two had a good time."

"Lots of fun." Sven said. "We learned cats really don't hate water...at least when they are on fire."

"And cats can't fly. Nor do they land on their feet." Wufei added.

"Not only that, but cats don't like balls either!" Pidge laughed wickedly. "Do you have the tapes?"

"They're all set up and waiting." Sven said as Trowa and Hunk restrained Nanny to the chair beside Coran's.

Nanny glared at the scouts. "I suggest you untie us if you know what is good for you!"

"Somehow I doubt untying you would be good for us." Quatre said. "In fact I think it would be downright dangerous."

Nanny growled as she tried to lunge forward, fortunately the ropes held tight. Quatre jumped behind Pidge. "No shit!" Pidge yelped before jumping behind Quatre.

Quatre turned and dashed behind Trowa, with Pidge still behind him.

"Let's start the tapes." Sven said, moving to push play to start the tapes.

VERY LOUD heavy metal music erupted from the speakers, making everything in the room vibrate. The screen flashed with 'interesting' images…the videos for the heavy metal songs that filled the tapes.

"NOOOO!!" Coran and Nanny screamed in unison, as the scouts did a static retreat. They could still hear the screams as the scouts quickly walked down the hall.

Hunk grinned. "That should fix them! Let's see how the Tuxedo Masks are doing with Relena."

Pidge nodded. "She is worse than that Queen Beryl." He paused as everyone stopped in their tracks to stare at him. "What?"

Sven groaned. "Don't tell me you actually watch Sailor Moon?"

"I don't think there is anything wrong with the show…" Quatre said quietly.

"Only because you are as strange as Maxwell." Wufei said, earning a glare from Trowa. He quickly added. "When it comes to the shows you two watch."

Pidge pouted. "I see nothing wrong with wanting to watch a show that makes you laugh..."

Hunk laughed as he picked Sailor Mercury up and placed him on his shoulder. "Don't worry about. Now let's hurry. I don't want to miss the battle!"

%%%%%%%%%%

Heero and Keith were walking down the hallway when Relena suddenly appeared coming from the other direction. "Oh Heeeerrrroooo!" She yelled running towards him. "I am so glad I was able to find you so I can rescue from that insane Duo."

Keith flinched, his face taking on interesting shapes. "And I thought Allura was bad!"

Heero pulled out his gun and aimed it at her. "Go away."

"Oh, Heero don't be so silly. I am here to rescue you. I am so glad to see that you managed to get from that cheap slut…"

Heero's finger twitched on the trigger, reminding himself that he wasn't suppose to kill her…but she was making it awfully tempting.

Keith's eyes narrowed measurably. Sure Duo could be annoying as hell, but that was completely uncalled for! He was almost growling as he whispered to Heero. "Tell me why we can't kill her again."

"Because it wasn't in Duo and Lance's plan…suppose to play the game." Heero replied.

"I'm so glad to see that he isn't with you." Relena said, seemingly oblivious to the gun still pointed at her. "He is such a waste of space. We can leave him here and go home and leave in peace."

"Peace? With you? I really don't think that is possible." Keith wanted to gag. "She is definitely worse than Allura!"

Relena grinned sweetly at Keith. "I think that Allura is a very sweet girl. That's why I agreed to help her get you away from…oh what was his name...Lance. From what she says he is every bit as much of a whore as Duo."

"That does it…" Heero shot Relena in the shoulder knocking her back a couple paces, but she recovered quickly and proceeded forward.

Keith growled, reaching for his gun. That last comment made his blood boil! Then he paused, an evil light shining in his eyes. He glanced at Heero. "Tell me...is she as vain as I think she is?"

"More so." Heero replied.

"C'mon Heero, let's go home." Relena said, she didn't even seem to know she had been shot (The wonders of laser proof vests! Available now for only $19.99!). "We can finally be rid of Duo and be happy."

"Good. Keep her busy for a few seconds. Lead her to where the stairs are...close to the balcony." Keith smirked before turning and dashing down the hall.

'Oh great now I am stuck alone with her.' Heero thought. "How did you get here?"

"I followed you through the portal. I saw what Duo was doing and knew you needed to be rescued." Relena said.

"Oh." Heero said. "Why don't we go look out over the balcony at the lovely view?"

"Oh that sounds wonderful." Relena said, batting her eyelashes at Heero. "I would go anywhere with you."

Heero said nothing and headed towards the stairs just as Keith had told him to, with Relena following him with a very smug expression on her face.

"HEERO! RUN UP THE STAIRS!" Just as Heero rushed up the stairs, an avalanche of mud poured down on Relena from the stair balcony. Leaning causally against the balcony railing, Keith grinned smugly down at a mud soaked Relena. "Since Tuxedo Mask is associated with Earth and you seem to care for Heero so much, I figured you wouldn't mind a mud bath."

Relena glared up Keith; she tried to yell in rage only to get mud in her mouth.

"At least that shut her up." Heero said, a small smile on the corners of his lips.

"Only for the moment though. Nothing permanent unfortunately." Keith chuckled. "Since I have seemed to upset the *cough* young lady, how would you suggest comforting her?"

"Dry her off. Don't people pay good money to be caked in mud after all? As long as she can see and hear the plan will work." Heero said. "Even though I would rather kill her now and be done with her."

"Same here." Keith growled. "But to do so would piss off Lance and Duo, and that is the last thing I'm going to do!" (Especially if he wants anything later! ^_^)

"Same here." Heero said. "Who knows after the plan is done she may be begging us to kill her."

"Probably if I know Lance..." Keith paused as he glanced down the stairs. "Uh, oh. She is coming up. I do believe it is your turn Tuxedo Mask Two."

"This should be fun." Heero said, as his eyes narrowed at a mud soaked Relena. "A lot of fun." He turned to run towards the sauna, with Keith running next to him and Relena in pursuit. A hot sauna, without the steam, would dry her off in no time.

%%%%%%%%%%

Allura 'Sailor Moon' was fuming while she searched and stormed into the castle gardens. Finally, she planted her hands on her hips and screamed, stamping her foot with each word. "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?"

“Hold it right there you imposter.” Duo jumped from behind a tree, landing in front of Allura. “How dare you impersonality me. I am the real Sailor Moon. And in the name of the moon I will punish you.” Duo said, taking the 'Sailor Moon' stance as he said it.

CLUNK! Allura's jaw hit the ground. "What..." Lance 'Sailor Mars' was too busy rolling on the ground laughing his head off to even say his line...Allura's expression was too funny!

“You heard me. How dare you pretend to me. I am much more prettier then you are.”

Lance rolled his eyes. "Much more prettier? Bad grammar Duo."

“Oh…I guess…much more extraordinarily beautiful…” Duo tilted his head to one side. “No…that's no good either. Just more outright beautiful.” (Authors roll their eyes and sweat drop.)

Allura blinked. "But you are a guy! Guys can't be beautiful...only handsome."

“Poor, poor little girl. You don't get out much, do you? Haven't you heard the term Bishonen?” Duo asked.

Excited, Allura started to jump up and down. "Is that a type of ice cream? I love ice cream!" Lance groaned and started to beat his head against one of the tree trunks. (Authors use their keyboards.)

“No. But ice cream is good.” Duo grinned. “Love getting every flavor at Baskin Robbins.” Duo's eyes light up just at the thought of having all that ice cream. “But that is not what Bishonen is.”

Lance coughed. "Um...can we get on with this? Keith still owes me some warming up, and I would really like to get to it."

“No…no…no…he is my boyfriend.” Allura stamped her foot.

“No he's not.” Duo said, shaking his head.

“Yes he is.” Allura said.

“Noooo.”

“Yes 'Tuxedo Mask' is MY BOYFRIEND!”

“Nope. He's mine.” Duo said, though referring to Heero Tuxedo Mask.

"You better be referring to Heero, Dumbo." Lance mumbled.

“Well of course I am silly willy.” Duo chuckled.

Allura pouted. “No, Relena told me she is Heero's girlfriend.”

“So she really is here….” Duo sighed. “Maybe we can leave her here.”

"Do that and I will kill you Dino!" Lance snorted before turning to glare at Allura. "Listen Meatball Head. When are you going to get it through that thick head of yours that Keith is NOT interested in you!" He mumbled under his breath. "He better not be if he knows what's good for him!"

“She is as dense as Relena and hasn't figured out that her little prince charming is gay.” Duo giggled. “Maybe I can send Relena off with the blue weirdo…Send them both off.”

"Nice idea. Lotor is really annoying." Lance grinned.

" NOW WAIT A MINUTE!" Allura was furious! "I AM SAILOR MOON YOU IDIOTIC MORONS!"

“Yeah well I am SUPER Sailor Moon so…” Duo stuck his tongue out at Allura.

"We'll see about that!" Allura rushed forward and shoved Duo into one of the garden fountains. "There can only be ONE Sailor Moon!"

“That does it. This bitch is toast.” Duo said. He lunged at Allura and tackled her into one of the other fountains.

Lance blinked, his mouth wide open as Allura banged Duo repeatedly in the head with her scepter as they splashed around in the fountain. "Um...need any help there Duo?"

“Sure.” Duo said before dunking Allura under the water. “How long can she hold her breath?”

"She has too much lung capacity, bro. That won't work unfortunately." Lance sighed. "Besides, even though the authors would love to kill her, they won't let us. So don't go into your God of Death routine."

“Bummer.” Duo let her up but not before pulling out his sword scepter (whatever it's called). “Moon Whap Attack!” He said, bonking her on the head.

"OW!" Allura pouted as she jumped out of the fountain, rubbing her head. "That hurt! No fair!" She quickly started wailing. All windows in a five mile radius shattered.

“EEP!” Duo shouted jumping out of the fountain and rushing towards Lance. “She sounds like a shrieking Banshee.”

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Lance yelled, his hands clamped tightly over his ears.

“I SAID…” Duo decided Lance would never hear him, not with Allura still wailing (Ya think?). He bent down and picked up a handful of mud from the garden and threw it into her open mouth, effectively silencing her. “I said she sounds like a shrieking Banshee.”

Lance rubbed his ears. "I think she is worse than a Banshee!"

Allura was having a coughing fit! "THAT WAS GROSS! YOU'RE MEAN!" She immediately started crying again.

"Damnit! Can it Meatball Head!" Lance yelled before pulling out and lighting some Chinese firecrackers. "MARS FIRECRACKER ATTACK!"

Allura shrieked wildly as the firecrackers started going off around her feet. She was jumping and dancing around frantically, each pop making her scream and jump higher into the air. Not to mention that she was cursing rapidly.

Lance burst out laughing. "I didn't know she could dance like that!"

“MOON GLIMMER ATTACK!” Duo threw two handfuls of little balls at Allura that flashed in her face with each bounce.

Allura was really dancing now...she was bending her body in strange and wild positions. Her language also got even more colorful.

Lance was laughing so hard, he was almost crying! "Oh man! This is great! Let's see how she likes Frisbees. MARS FRISBEE SURROUND!" He quickly threw several small Frisbees at Allura's jumping figure.

“MOON…” Duo's voice suddenly trailed off and his eyes gleamed with a mischievous glint. He reached down and grabbed a frog that had been disturbed from its place in the garden. Duo ran towards Allura and dropped the frog down the inside of her shirt. “FROG ATTACK!” He laughed merrily dashing back over to Lance, a safe distance away from a 'leaping' Allura.

Lance was crying now! He fell to his knees on the ground, doubled over laughing. Allura was screaming bloody murder now. Then her right foot landed on one of the balls, causing her to whirl her arms around wildly as she tried to regain her balance. Gravity won. She crashed back into one of the fountains. Allura quickly resurfaced, spitting out water. The frog calmly jumped onto her head, croaking happily.

“That was so much fun.” Duo said as he bounced up and down. “She looks defeated. Let's take her to the place now.”

"Sounds...good...to me!" Lance could barely talk as he wiped his eyes.

They literally dragged Allura by the hair to a small room where Keith and Heero already had a mud caked Relena. Only bits of her face could be seen – her eyes, nose, and ears - the rest of her was trapped in the thick mud shell, restrained to a chair.

“HI RELENA!” Duo waved to her, giggling happily at the site of an immobile Relena.

If looks could kill, Duo would have been dead from the glare Relena was giving him. (He isn't the God of Death for nothing! ^_^)

Lance shook his head as he helped Duo restrain a still shocked Allura to another chair. "Looks like you two had some fun."

“We would've had more fun if we could have killed her.” Heero grumbled.

Keith nodded in agreement. “She is one hell of a nasty bitch.”

“I like your new look, Relena.” Duo said standing in front of her. “I think mud is in this season 'cause Allura liked it too.”

Lance chuckled. "I bet she is a bitch. So is Allura." He feigned shock at the nasty glares both women were giving him. "So...got the tapes?"

“Yeah they are ready.” Keith said.

Suddenly Lotor entered the room. “I am not going home without Lance.”

“LITTLE BOY BLUE! GO BLOW YOUR OWN HORN!” Duo giggled.

"Shut up freak!" Lotor 'Malachite' snarled, rushing forward and grabbing 'Sailor Mars', pinning her...um...him against him. (This is getting confusing. >.<) "So who is laughing now?"

Lance growled, eyes flaring. "I give you five seconds to let go, or you will get to see me really pissed off!"

“LET HIM GO!” Duo yelled, running over and hitting Malachite in the head with his sword scepter thingy.

Keith and Heero just stood back and watched though ready to jump in if their lovers needed help. Keith's eyes were overly black as he glared at Lotor hoping this was one 'person' he would be allowed to kill. And as much as he wanted to join the ruckus, the anger burning fiercely in his lover's eyes almost made Keith start to feel sorry for Lotor. Almost...

"HEY! That hurt!" Lotor yelled. Meanwhile, Lance had started counting. "One..."

“LET…HIM…GO!” Duo yelled hitting Lotor on the head with each word.

"Two..." Lance growled as Lotor jerked him out of the room. Lotor was glaring at Duo. "Stop that! Do you bat for the Cardinals or something?"

Duo jumped on Lotor's back, wrapping one arm around Lotor's neck and still beating Lotor's head. “BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!” Duo said with each hit, mimicking 'Bam-Bam Rubble'.

"Three..." Lance snickered as Lotor continued to try to shake Duo off his back. "I suggest you let go now."

"NO!" Lotor growled as he tried in vain to protect his head. "This nut is worse than Allura!"

"Why you..." Lance snarled. "How rude! Four..."

Duo let go Lotor and dropped down behind him, seemingly unfazed by the insult. “Boxers or briefs?” He asked, pulling Lotor's pants down and revealing boxer's with little pink bunnies on them.

"HEY!" Lotor turned dark red. By this time the others had joined the little party. Everyone, except one of course, burst into hysterical laughter!

“Pink bunnies?” Keith laughed in disbelief.

“And I thought Duo's Spiderman ones were bad.” Heero said.

“I only wear those occasionally and only on Saturdays…and only when the moon is full.” Duo said.

“Sounds like Lance's X-Men boxers.” Keith said.

Pidge and Hunk were laughing so hard that they could barely stand. A chuckling Trowa was busy trying to hold up a hysterical Quatra. Even Sven and Wufie were snickering!

Lance paused in his counting to glare at his lover. "Watch it buddy, or you're next!" He then turned his glare to a tab bit embarrassed Lotor. "FIVE!" Lance bent his knee and rammed his heel full force into Lotor's...um...sensitive area.

Lotor's red face turned pale as his eyes nearly popped out and his breath caught in his throat. Without a word, he fell to his knees and doubled over. Everyone, except for Lance, winced. (*winces* And they say that Sven is cruel!)

Rubbing his hands, Lance calmly turned and glared down at the whimpering figure. "I told you not to piss me off!"

Sven leaned forward and whispered in Keith's ear. "No wonder you try not to really piss Lance off. Remind me not to ever make him mad at me!"

"You got that right, bro!" Keith whispered back. (Wise words...VERY wise words!)

Duo glanced at the others. “So let's see what does everyone else wear…boxers or briefs…..” Duo thought about it for a moment. “Well Heero wears…none with those spandex shorts, other times those nice blue silk boxers. Quatre wears those adorable smiley face ones. Trowa…red briefs. And Wufei wears a little thong type one….” He glanced at the Voltron team members, then at Lance. “What do they wear?”

Lance smirked evilly at the other members of Voltron. The look alone was enough to stop their snickering cold. "Who says they wear any..." (Thanks for the idea Taryn! ^_~)

“With them little fuku's they have to be. And there is one way to find out.” Duo stalked towards them with a wide grin.

Pidge and Hunk practically plowed over everyone in their haste to retreat! Quatre leaped into Trowa's arms, forcing the man to carry his lover as he made a hasty exit. Lance chuckled as Sven and Wufei tore out of the room, screaming. It was the first time he ever saw actual fear on their faces!

“SPOIL SPORTS!” Duo yelled after them. He looked at Keith. “So you gonna tell me what you are wearing, or do I have to find out for myself.”

“Nothing special...just white boxers.” Keith said, with a slight blush.

“BORING! I'll have to get you something more exciting.” Duo said.

"Bored, huh?" Lance grinned wickedly as he poked the still whimpering Malachite with his foot. "Why don't you do something with him?"

“I'm not that bored. And what I meant was Keith's boxers are boring and I will get him something better to wear.”

Lance laughed. "Well we still need to take care of Allura and Romele. How about we toss him in the same room with the girls?"

Suddenly Lotor sprang to his knees, grabbing Lance's arms. "NOOOO!" He cried and begged as he shook the other man rapidly. "I BEG YOU! ANYTHING BUT THAT!"

“GREAT IDEA LAN-MAN!” Duo said. “He'll have so much fun.”

"NOOO!" Lotor screamed as Keith and Heero rushed forward and grabbed him. Lance was still trying to pull away from the terrified Boy Blue who was still shaking him roughly. "Would you let go! You're giving me whiplash!" Lance snapped.

“LET GO!” Duo hit Lotor on the head, yet again.

It took Heero and Keith tugging on Lotor's hands with Duo pulling on Lance's waist to break Lotor's grip. The tension released sent Lance crashing into Duo, both landing on the ground hard. "OW!" Lance mumbled as he rubbed his neck. "Now I know how a rubber band feels."

“Not that I ain't happy that you're free but…GET OFF ME!” Duo yelled.

"OOPS!" Lance grinned sheepishly as he scrambled off of Duo. "Sorry about that."

“Sure you are.” Duo said sarcastically, but he was grinning.

Keith and Heero dragged a protesting Lotor down the hall to the room where Allura and Relena were. They had him about half restrained when Duo and Lance took over. By the time they were done, Lotor's whole body was secured to a chair with a WHOLE ROLL of duct tape, with one piece across his mouth to muffle his protests.

"There we go!" Lance grinned. "Now where were we before we were so rudely interrupted?"

“I want to DYE his hair first.” Duo smirked, then pouted. “Don't have any hair coloring though.”

Lotor shook his head rapidly. Keith grinned. "I think that may be a good idea. Anyone know where to get some?"

“Allura most have some. No way she is a natural blonde…throw some eye shadow or something in the dye, and I am sure we'll get an interesting color.” Duo said.

"I'll go look for some. Be right back." Lance chuckled as he ran out of the room.

“I'LL HELP!” Duo ran after Lance, wanting to help design the color for Lotor's new shade.

After they were gone Keith approached Lotor. “I told you to stay away from my boyfriend. I would torture you myself, but I'm not allowed to kill you so sticking a sugar high Duo on you is the worst punishment I can think of.” Keith grinned wickedly.

Heero couldn't help but chuckle at Lotor's terrified face. "I agree. A very fitting punishment."

A few minutes later, Duo came bouncing back into the room carrying a bottle of hair dye that was an odd shade of purple. Duo face sparkled with glitter…so did his hair and clothes –and so did Lance. It looked like a fight had broke out with a big batch of body glitter. To top it all off Duo was loudly singing the 'Tigger' song.

Lance shrugged helplessly as Keith eyed him funny. "I couldn't get the bag open, but Duo did...in an explosive kind of way."

“I don't even want to know.” Heero said.

Duo started to dump the hair dye into Lotor's white hair. “Leave it in…for oh fifteen minutes should be good. Nice and purple…Maybe…it'll be some color at least…White hair SCREAMS to be dyed.”

Lotor struggled in vain as he tried to avoid Duo's hands. Heero stood close by as back up. Lance shook his head in wonder as he walked over to stand next to Keith. "It'll be interesting to see how his hair will respond to that dye."

“I'm more interested in how you respond.” Keith said, wrapping his arms tightly around Lance as he brushed his lips across Lance's, giving Lotor and Allura quite a show. “Mine.” He said possessively, yet lovingly, with each kiss.

Lance could feel Allura's eyes burn into him, but frankly, he didn't give a damn at that moment as he practically melted in Keith's arms. "You got that right." He mumbled as he leaned deeper into Keith's embrace, resting his head against his captain's shoulder. "That spark is starting to build."

Lotor was glaring daggers at Keith as Duo pulled Lotor's hair hard. “Take the hint Blue Boy.” Duo told him. Then he glanced at Keith and Lance. “Get a room.”

"Well then hurry up so we can play the tapes for them and get out of here." Lance chuckled as Keith's arms tightened possessively around him. "There is some serious warming up that I would really like to get back too."

“It said a minimum of fifteen minutes.” Duo said walking around to stand close to Lance and Keith, pulling Heero with him. They were standing a few feet in front of Relena.

“So I am sure we can amuse ourselves that long.” Heero said, before capturing Duo's lips with his own, which made Relena shoot daggers with her eyes...all aimed at Duo. Keith quickly followed suit and captured Lance's lips with his own again.

Lance was breathless by the time Keith released him from the kiss. Shaking his head, Lance turned his dazed eyes from his smirking captain to his watch. "Damn! Fifteen minutes sure went by fast!"

Duo sighed. “Tell me about it.” He reluctantly pulled away from Heero to wash Lotor's hair out.

Lotor's new hair was…interesting. It was several shades of purple with a few streaks of blue and red. It had turned all frizzy curly, like Lotor had stuck his finger in a light socket.

"Very nice, Duo." Lance chuckled into his hand. Keith agreed as he tightened his grip around Lance's waist and rested his chin on Lance's shoulder. "Very, very nice."

“I guess we start the tapes now?” Duo said. “Even though I'd rather dye 'fake' blondie's hair… “ Duo grinned. “Quatre's a real blond...maybe I can use what's left to dye his hair.

“If he don't kill you for it, Trowa would.” Heero said. "And I won't stop them this time."

"So Duo...what is on the show for our lovely guests?" Lance snickered.

“Top of the line programming. To drive a sane person insane and an insane person sane…BARNEY!” Duo grinned.

Lotor, Allura, and Relena screamed (or would have if they weren't gagged) and struggled desperately to break free. Lance and Keith edged to the door. Lance shuttered. "Don't start that thing until we are out the door!"

Heero rushed for the door, knowing if he saw even one second he would shoot the screen out. After Lance and Keith were out, Duo hit the play button and ran out the door, just as the Barney theme started to play loudly.

“Ya know…I still don't know for certain what underwear Keith wears.” Duo said suddenly. As Duo moved towards Keith, Heero grabbed Duo and swung him over his shoulder.

“PUT ME DOWN!” Duo yelled, his hands pounding lightly against Heero's back. His hands slipped down over Heero's buttocks. “On second thought I like this view...what are you wearing today Hee-Chan…” Duo's fingers played with the waistband of Heero's tight jeans.

“Do it and I drop you.” Heero threatened.

Lance shook his head laughing. "Exactly how much sugar did he have this time Heero?"

“Too much to keep track of. And he was bored.” Heero replied.

“I ain't never had too much sugar.” Duo protested.

“Is he ever…not on a sugar high?” Keith asked.

“On the rare occasion.” Heero replied.

"Um..." Lance stared at Heero in amazement. "How do you deal with it?"

“I keep asking myself that every day.” Heero sighed.

“HEY!” Duo yelled.

Lance laughed as he walked up behind Heero and roughed up Duo's hair. "Well I'm glad you did 'drop' in today. It made messing with Allura extra fun!"

“SEE SOMEONE IS HAPPY TO SEE ME!” Duo pointed out loudly.

"OW!" Keith rubbed his ears. "I was happy to see you too until you did that! Besides, I think Lance is the only one besides Heero who can tolerate you in large doses!"

“I could be worse. I could be as bad as Allura.” Duo said.

Lance immediately bopped Duo on the head. "Do that and I will kill you! Not even Heero would be able to stop me!"

"That or we will send Allura to live with Relena." Keith smirked.

“You're so mean Mars.” Duo said, lifting his head to look up at Lance and stick his tongue out at him.

"That's my job Dyno!" Lance laughed, sticking his own tongue out at Duo.

Keith rolled his eyes. "Okay. So now what? How long should we leave them with the tapes?"

“There's eight hours on the tape.” Duo said. “Then…then we can launch them into space with Barney playing forever and ever and ever…”

Lance glanced at Keith. "We can do that?"

“We could.” Duo said. “It wouldn't take much work...”

“I don't know.” Keith said.

“We could just kill them instead.” Heero said.

"Well..." Lance shrugged. "We could ask the authors what to do..." Four heads turned and stared at the authors.

'Personally this author (LS2) would love to KILL Relena…but if we ever want to do a sequel we couldn't if she was dead so…Launch away boys.'

“YEE-HAW!” Duo shouted. “We finally are able to be rid of the Superbitch!”

'This author (Phoenix) also agrees. Send Allura with her, especially since she can never die anyway. It is against anime codes or something. She is like a bad odor that just won't go away! Send Lotor too. Maybe it will cure him of his ridiculous Allura fixation!'

“I guess you have to wait a little longer to be warmed up, love.” Keith said. “But at least this way I don't have to worry about Lotor trying to steal you so…let's go get the shuttle ready.”

"Okay." Lance pouted and sighed dramatically. "Though I don't know what you're worried about. Lotor can't even manage to steal Allura...and look at how many times he tried!"

“So I am a tad possessive.” Keith said with a shrug.

“So is Heero.” Duo said, patting Heero's ass as he said it, which made Heero promptly drop Duo to the floor. “OW!” Duo complained.

"Just a tad possessive?" Grinning, Lance rolled his eyes. "Never mind. Let's get that shuttle moving!"

%%%%%%%%%%

About ten hours later, the space shuttle was launched as two teams of five all cheered and waved farewell. Duo danced around happily. “No more Relena, no more Relena...”

Wufei snorted. "Or at least until the next fan fic."

“Don't go trying to spoil my happiness, Wu-man.” Duo complained, stopping his happy dance for only a minute. Then he grabbed Lance and spun him around. “No more Relena…no more Allura…no more Boy Blue.”

"Hey!" Lance laughed. "You're making me dizzy!"

Sven sighed. "Though we still have an insanely hyper Duo."

“We should have launched him off with them.” Wufei said.

“You wouldn't…” Duo said, stopping his happy dance and eyeing everyone suspiciously.

Lance gave Duo a puzzled look. "What are you looking at me that way for? I wouldn't do it!"

“We could just launch him away on another shuttle.” Wufei suggested.

“If you so much as try it, you'll be launched.” Heero said and from the death glare he gave Wufei it was obvious that 'launching' would include a very painful death.

Sven winced. "I think I left something on in my room..."

"I'll help you turn it off." Pidge added, dashing off after Sven.

Hunk slid away, whistling. "I think I'll help them. You never know when a third person may come in handy."

“We'll help too.” Quatre said, grabbing Trowa's hand and running after those that had already retreated.

Wufei dashed after the others, yelling over his shoulder. "I have to go use the bathroom!"

Duo laughed and launched himself at Heero, kissing Heero's lips. “I knew you wouldn't let them launch me into space.” He looked at Lance. “And you too but I am not going to kiss you like this.”

"I really rather you didn't!" Lance laughed. "So how long are you and your compadres staying this time?"

Duo shrugged. “Few days…until we are called back for a mission.”

"Great." Lance grinned before slapping his forehead. "Oops! We forgot about Coran and Nanny! I wonder how they like heavy metal now."

“Maybe we should let them go…but having a castle to ourselves could be FUN!” Duo said.

Keith shrugged. "I know I'm in no hurry to listen to Nanny and Coran bitch."

“Should we prepare a shuttle for them too?” Duo asked.

Lance shook his head. "Naw! They are probably comatose right now anyway. They will be out of it for a while."

“Okay so let's have some fun...I WANT TO ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIGHT…AND PARTY EVERY DAY!” Duo yelled excitedly.

"The castle is all yours Duo! Just don't burn it down." Lance smirked. "Personally, I have something else in mind."

“I won't burn it down…much.” Duo grinned. “Have fun. I plan on a little of that with Heero myself.”

“I don't even want to know about anything you planned, Duo.” Keith grabbed Lance's hand. “C'mon let's go and finally get you warmed up.”

"About time!" Lance laughed as Keith dragged him down the hall away from the others. "Though I hope you know a better hiding place. The last one sucked!"

“It's a great hiding place. And to be sure we are not found, I am not even telling the authors where I am taking you.” Keith smirked.

'This author (Phoenix) is not sure she likes that idea...especially since she just bought a fresh role of film!'

Lance snickered. "Well I like the idea just fine!"

“C'mon, Heero...let's go have some fun.” Duo grinned, grabbing Heero's hand. He quickly pulled him away, also failing to tell the authors where he was going.

%%%%%%%%%%

Phoenix sighs. "Well since we don't know where everyone is going, I guess this story is over!"

LS2 nods in agreement. “At least we finally were able to finish it.”

"YUP!" Phoenix waves to everyone. "Night y'all!"

owari ^_~