Title: Sven’s ‘Cooking’

Warning: Anyway, here's the challenge. You have to slash Hunk and Sven, use food in some way and incorporate the line "I never knew you could use a spoon like that". Very short. Very pointless. And isn’t my norm pairing.

Hunk paused before the kitchen door, it wasn’t often that the largest member of the Voltron Force had to rethink a snack run into the kitchen. Hunk was even brave enough to take on Nanny to get a snack. However the noise coming from the kitchen wasn’t Nanny and the clatter was more noise then what the space mice made. A loud crash followed by a stream of cursing in Swedish made it obvious that Sven was in the kitchen – which was one of the scariest things known to man. Hunk cautiously opened the kitchen door, his eyes widening at the mess. Flour covered everything like a dusting of snow, there were multiple coloured splatters all over the wall and ceiling, and it seemed every bowl, every pot, every dish that could be found in the kitchen was dirtied by cooked and uncooked food. Sven stood by a counter, his black suit covered in flour, he was so busy whacking at a mound of bread dough, that seemed to growing with each passing second, with a wooden spoon.

"I never knew you could use a spoon like that.” Hunk said.

“What…?” Sven said. He turned to look at Hunk, and in that moment of distraction the bread dough consumed the spoon. Sven glanced back at the mess on the counter and swore.

“Um… what are you doing in here darling?” Hunk asked.

“Trying to cook a nice dinner for you.” Sven said.

“But… umm… you can’t cook.” Hunk said. “And now matter how often you watch the shows on Food Network you’ll never be able to cook.”

“I can so cook.”

“Not anything that anyone can eat.” Hunk said. He sighed as he carefully walked over to turned off the oven, which had black smoke pouring out of it. “You’re banned from ever watching that channel again.”

“Lance doesn’t complain about Keith watching Trading Spaces all the time and Keith has redecorated half the rooms in the castle.” Sven said.

“Yes, but Keith makes a good interior decorator, and you don’t make a good chef.” Hunk said.

“You haven’t even tried anything I made today.” Sven said.

“Because none of it’s edible.” Hunk said.

“Just try.” Sven said. He grabbed a blacked piece of food off a try and stuffed into Hunk’s mouth before he could complain.

Hunk’s face turned green as he was forced to bit into whatever matter of food it was that Sven had stuffed into his mouth. It had a slightly bitter taste and although it has been burned black the center was runny like a raw egg. He forced himself to swallow it. “What was that?”

“Good wasn’t it?” Sven asked eagerly.

“Um… what was it?” Hunk asked again not wanting to hurt his lover’s feelings by telling him how awful it was.

“Smoked salmon mini tortes.” Sven said. “Though I couldn’t find any smoke salmon so I used canned salmon. And I used a dill pickle in place of the dill since it’s dill too. And the only cheese I could find was Cheese Whiz. But they turned out great, didn’t they?”

“Umm…” Hunk stammered, looking as though he was seriously going to be sick. Ever since he started going out with Sven he realized one thing: Some people should NOT be allowed in the kitchen, and Sven was one of those people. “Why don’t I just take you out to dinner?”

“But… I’ve got this one half done.” Sven said.

“Yeah and it all looks so… ah hell you can’t cook.” Hunk said.

“Oh. Well if your going to buy me dinner…” Sven grinned.

“You planned this didn’t you?” Hunk accused.

“Who me?” Sven asked innocently.

“Yes. You.” Hunk said.

“I’m insulted. Here I was slaving over a hot stove trying to make you a wonderful dinner and you accuses me of having this alternative motive…”

“Okay… okay. I give you didn’t plan it.” Hunk relented. “Guess we should clean up the mess…”

“I say we set up a camera and catch Nanny’s reaction when she walks in. We could win the grand prize on that stupidest videos show.” Sven said.

“You mean funniest videos.”

“Yeah, whichever. It would still win.” Sven said.

“True. I’ll have Pidge set up.” Hunk said.

Later that day, when Nanny walked into her kitchen as saw the mess and the bread dough that had taken on life of its own her eyes started bugging out and she started hyperventilating. She gabbed a wooden rolling pin and charged towards the bread dough, whacking away it, though it was a battle she couldn’t win and was soon the dough devoured her.

The video was sent in to the show and was called ‘The Dough Blob From Outer Space.’ It won the grand prize of $50,000.

Later, Hunk and Sven were lying in their bed, still celebrating their win.

“One thing I don’t get. How did the dough get that big?” Hunk wondered.

“I think the yeast I used I was exposed to radiation.” Sven said.

“Whatever happened to Nanny? She never did reappear out of the dough.”

“It ate her.” Sven said. “I think it have ate one of the mice too.”

“And another thing. How did we get rid of it?” Hunk asked.

“We put it on a shuttle and launched it to Doom.” Sven said.

“Oh yeah. Now I remember.” Hunk said.

“You were there through it all. So why are you asking these questions?”

“Because the readers weren’t there and they have to be told some how.” Hunk said.

“What readers?” Sven asked looking thoroughly confused.

“The ones reading this story. They are with us right now.” Hunk said.

“We’ll get rid of them. I don’t want to have sex with readers watching.” Sven said.

“Okay. I know just how to get rid of them.” Hunk smiled.

“How?” Sven asked.

“Two simple words: The End.”