Helga sits on the sofa watching pro-wrestling. Phoebe sits next to her. Then all of a sudden her Dad Big Bob comes in.
Big Bob: Turn off that T.V. girl. The shop is thinking of adding computers to it’s line of fine Pataki products. We need someone to test it out and I volunteered you. I got us all signed up for the internet too.
Bob hands Helga a laptop and a phone cord.
Helga: Oh great what am I supposed to do with this.
Phoebe: there are all kinds of fascinating infomatinon to be learned from museums all over the world and...
Helga: Oh thrilling! I want on right now!
Bob: Hey hey hey I want you to spend 12 hours a day on that computer you hear me?
Helga: Wow that’s real good Bob what should I do skip going to school or skip sleeping?
Hmm I guess Ill write you an excuse to skip school...
Helga: I dont think so!
Bob: Hmm well just spend alot of time on it starting now. I dont want something breaking on me till after i’ve sold it.
Helga and Phoebe go up to Helga’s room.
Helga: What am I going to do with this?
Phoebe: There are many things you can do. You can write your diary on it and lock it up with a password so no one can read it.
Helga: Uh diary? oh that silly thing I used to write in first and second grade? oh I gave that up a long time ago.
Phoebe: You can write your poems and post them where everyone can read them but no one will know your real name.
Helga:Poems? Uhh I don’t write poems.
Phoebe: Oh I just meant you could express your self in any number of ways with out your real identity being known.
Phoebe helps Helga set up the computer and soon Helga is seeing all there is to do on the internet. 3 hours later Phoebe has gone home and and Hlega has skipped dinner to continue surfing the web.
Helga to herself: Wow. this isn’t it half bad. Maybe I should post some of my poems somewhere and see what others think. It might be nice to tell others how I feel about Arnold even if none of them knows who I am or who Arnold is. Hmm first I need to think up a nickname let’s see I know footballfan. Here’s a poetry chat room. I hope what I write will be appreciated here.
Helga begins writing on the chat making up poetry to her beloved foot ball head.
Meanwhile across town in Arnold’s room.
Gerald: I’m telling you its the funniest thing I ever read. These dopes go into this poetry chat and write this really bad poetry and then they praise each other on it no matter how dumb it is. Heh I even made up something that went something like The cat so red it had a head. It was so fat it ate alot of rats. People said “oh how innovative” and stuff it was hilarious.
Before long Gerald and Arnold are in the chat room.
Gerald: See this stuff is hilarious.
Arnold: Well alot of it is pretty bad. Most of the kids in our class have written better stuff during Simmons english class. Some of it is pretty good though. Like this footballfan, her poems are actully kind of neat.
Gerald: Oh come on Arnold don’t tell me you enjoy that stuff. It’s all sappy poems written about some guy she loves.
Arnold:Yeah that what’s neat about it she’s so dedicated she must really like this guy.
Gerald: Heh, she’s probably some old grandma writing poetry about some guy who lived a hundred years ago. Yeah she probably stole the stuff out of some book.
Arnold: No I think it is some kid. And look in that one poem she’s mentions Gino’s Souvlaki Stand. There is only one of those and it’s here in the city. Why would some famous old poet add that in a poem. Just imagine it could be someone we know. Why just maybe it’s Lila and she writing about me.
Gerald: Sure thing Buddy. And that other person writing on there is Rhonda writing about her undying love for Principal Wartz. Well it’s getting late anyways I’m going home. Have fun with your internet girlfriend.
Before long Arnold is talking to the “footballfan” under the alias of “Shakespeare53”
Arnold: Wow I must say i’m really impressed with your poetry. I can really sense the love you feel for the guy your writing to. I’d love for a girl to write about me in such a way.
Helga: Really Most people I know dont even know that I write this stuff.
Arnold: But the guy your writing about he’s seen it right?
Helga:No way what if he hated it. What if he didn’t feel the same way about me that I do about him.
Arnold: You should tell him. He may really like you and just may be wating to tell you the same thing.
Helga: But what if he doesn’t like me.
Arnold: If he doesnt like you or your poems then you’ll find out and won’t need to waste time on someone who doesn’t like you. But I don’t know who would just turn down such a amazing person who writes such great stuff.
Helga: Wow I don’t know what to say. No one’s ever said such a nice thing to me before.
Arnold: Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Helga: I guess not. shoot.
Arnold: Ok. From your poem I notice you mentinoed Gino’s Souvlaki stand. From that I figured you live in the same city as me.
Helga: Oh no I knew I should have been more careful and not say something that would let anyone know who I am or what I’ve written.
Arnold: It’s okay I still don’t know who you are. Just to make you feel a little better I’ll let you know my first name it’s Arnold.
Helga: Arnold! you mean the Arnold of PS118! The one who lives in Sunset Arms!?
Arnold: Hmm you know me then?
Helga thinks to herself: Oh no what am I going to do? Here is the perfect chance to tell Arnold my true feelings. TO tell him that all the poems that he liked... HE LIKED MY POEMS!!! ...to tell him the poems were written to him to...
Helga’s door flies open as Big Bob suddenly walks into the room.
Big Bob: Hey Helga how do you like the computer so far?
Helga shrieks and quickly closes the laptop and accidentally disconnects the modem.
Big Bob: Boy Helga you need ot relax more. Well you're still using it so I guess that’s a good sign. Well keep on using it and tell me if the thing starts smoking out it’s vents or crashing or anything.
Helga: Criminy! Why does he have to do that! Oh no the computer *She looks at the phone cord laying on the floor* Oh no the perfect chance and I blew it.
Helga tries to get back on the internet and in the chat room. But it’s too late Arnold is gone.
Haiku237 types: Hey footballfan I have a message for you. Shakespeare 53 told me to tell you that if you want to, meet him at the Main Library at the entrance at 6.
The next afternoon shortly before 6.
Helga thinks to herself: Oh no what have I gotten myself into? What if I go and Arnold laughs at me or is disgusted at me or just runs out. Hmm But what If I don’t go and he really is interested in me? And by not going I blow my one chance to tell Arnold the way I truly feel about him?
Helga just sits on her bed and stares at her wall she then glances over to her closet. The door is open and she see's her shrine to Arnold.
Helga yells: That’s it I have to go!
Miriam (who was standing outside): Go where Helga? Are you going out on a little date wih one of you little school friends? OH Olga used to have boys calling her all the time. (she keeps muttering as she walks down the hallway).
Helga again thinking to herself: OH great now they’re staring to compare me with Olga and her dating life. Well it doesn’t matter. I have to go there tonight. I didn’t meet him in that chatroom by accident. It’s destined. It was meant to be. Hmm I can’t wear my regualr clothes. I’m going to need to dress up. Something really fancy. Ahhh I know I have the perfect thing to wear!
Meanwhile in Arnold’s room.
Gerald:Man I cannot believe you’re going on a blind date. Especially one set up on the internet!
Arnold: It’s not exactly a blind date. I talked to her a little and read quite alot of her poetry. It’s almost like I already know her. Hmm and maybe it’s one of the girls from our school maybe it’s Lila.
Gerald:Yeah right! It could be Rhonda, Sheena , or Phoebe. Hey it better not be Phoebe. Uhh I mean...
Arnold: Hey I ‘ll tell you what Gerald. You can go there at 5:45 before I’m supposed to meet her. I’ll show up 5 minutes late. That way you can see who it is before I get there.
5:45 outside the library. Gerald sits on the steps quickly looking up and down the street. Helga gets off the bus suddenly notices him and ducks back into an alley.
Helga:Criminy what the heck is tall hair boy doing here? Well no-one is going to stop me tonight. Ill just wait here till he leaves.
20 minutes later Arnold arrives.
Gerald: Sorry Arnold but it looks like your big date is a no show.
Arnold: Hmm maybe she didn’t get the message. Oh well I’ll wait a little bit longer.
Gerald: Well I’ll see you later then my man Fuzzy Slippers told me he’d give me the latest Purdy Boys mystery book. So I’ll see you later.
Gerald walks down the street and Helga waits till he’s out of view and then crosses the street and walks up to Arnold. The two then walk into the library.
Helga: Uhh hi Arnold I’m sorry I’m late.
Arnold: Uh wow I can’t believe it’s you. Your the one who wrote those poems.
Helga: Umm yeah I wrote them I wrote them about you.
Arnold: I thouhgt you didn’t like me at all.
Helga: Uhh well I....
Arnold: When we went out to eat at Chez Pierre you left so suddenly. I really did have a fun time that night. I’d been hoping that we could do it again.
Helga: Wow I’ve been hoping the same thing. I’m glad that little problem didn’t ruin the evening for you.
Arnold: It’s okay I know your not really my penpal Cecille but uhh hey you never did tell me your name, your real name.
Helga thinks to herself: Oh no he thinks I’m Cecille well the fake Cecille. I wore the dress I wore that night because I’d hope he’d realize that it was me that evening.
Helga: Uhh I got to tell you my name is really...
Gerald comes throught the door.
Gerald: Hey she actually showed up.
Helga: eep!
Arnold: I thought you were going to meet Fuzzy Slippers.
Gerald: Dang it. I forgot that Fuzzy has a tae kwon do class on wednesdays. So I thought I come back here since I was already in the area.
Arnold: I think you remember uhh Cecille here. I think you met her last Valentines day.
Gerald: Hmmm I kind of remember her. You know I think I’ve seen you somewhere else before too. I just can’t remember where.
Helga: Uhh heh heh me? I don’t rember meeting you before. Uhh nice to meet you.
Gerald: Now I’m sure of it. That voice. I’m sure I remember you.
Helga; *sniff sniff* Oh silly me I forgot to bring a purse and I need a kleenex. I think I have a cold coming on. Uhh let me run off to the bath room and get some and i’l be right back.
Arnold: Sure I’ll wait right here.
30 minutes later.
Gerald: I think she could have found a kleenex by now. Hey there’s Nadine let’s have her go in the bathroom and see if she’s still in there.
They ask Nadine to look for her and after a bit she comes back and tells them that no one is in there.
Gerald: Man I guess she bailed on you. I think I figured out who she is though. I think she’s that Gloria girl from over at P.S.119.
Nadine: I bet she left ‘cause she was planning on only meeting Arnold and not hang out with both of you.
Arnold: Really you think that’s why she left.
Nadine: Sure if you were planning on meeting someone alone what would you do if she brought a friend of her’s?
Gerald: You know I think she figured it out. I’m sorry I shouldn't have butted into you big night.
Arnold: It’s not your fault you didn’t know. Hmm I hope I get to meet her again in the future sometime.
Meanwhile Helga is just walking down the street near her house.
Helga: what is wrong with me? why can’t anyone believe that I could be dressed up and be nice?
She then sees Harold running down the street. She starts to look for an alley to drop behind.
Helga: Oh well if Gerald and Arnold didn’t recognize me, he won’t either.
Harold runs up to Helga and stops.
Harold: *HUff Puff* Helga why are you...? Oh Never mind if you see Rhonda coming this way tell her you didn’t see me okay?
Harold then runs on down the street.
Helga: Uhh he knew it was me?
Rhonda runs down the street and looks into garbage cans as she as pases them. She is obviously mad.
Rhonda: Helga! Have you seen Harold! Ugh! I thought I had an understanding with him but I saw him tonight with that Patti Smith. If I find him urrrgghh!
Rhonda then continues down the street checking every alley and possible place Harold could hide.
Helga: That dumb foot-ball head! Even Harold and Rhonda recognized me. And he didn’t have a clue. It makes me wonder why I even waste my time on him. With that stupid foot-ball shaped head. And those eyes ouhhh those beautiful eyes and the way he walks and ahhh! What am I thinking I can’t even keep him out of my head. I'll just have to tell him when the time comes again. In the way he's used to seeing me.