A New Age Exit to Eden
By
Ceci M.
Perfect bodies, muscles rippling with the exertion, hair flying,
the jiggling, prancing movements of the women in sharp
contrast to the swift, powerful strides of the men. I couldn’t
accept or rebel against what was happening. And for an odd
moment I doubted not the reality of what was going on
around me, but the reality of all that ever happened to me
before. I had the positive sensation as I came down the
gangplank with the others that all my comfortable life before
had been an illusion and that I had always been this. I can’t
explain how unaccountable real this was. I had always been this.
-Elliot[1]
Okay. So, NBC takes off Titans and you’re subjected to a week of bowl games with no end in sight. There is nothing but reruns that you already have on tape. Where do you turn to see nothing but the beautiful people suffer in a twisted turn on method acting? Oh! Of course, Temptation Island! I admit I am never a fan of reality television because the networks unleash “real people” who are willing to degrade themselves for their fifteen minutes of fame. However, this show is actually fascinating. Within an hour, you end up clicking your tongue and shaking your head as each of the four couples alternate from guilt to utter selfishness to satisfy their desires. The worst thing about this show is that you’re actually rooting for each of the couples to cheat on the other to see the entire breakdown of their relationship. Not that host Mark Walberg and crew makes it hard for them not to. Within the first fifteen minutes of the show, luscious, single men and women parade around the island paradise scantily clad and each of the couples judge them according to see who would be the most “threatening”.
If you ask me, all of singles are equally prone to be make each mate nervous. Especially Miss Video Star and the flight instructor. But of course, my vote especially has to go to the masseur. Not only was he most likely to get a booty call from one of the ladies, he is what the small clique of guys called “smooth”. If I peer into my crystal ball, I think he’s going to be the center of the most hullabaloo in the coming weeks. Mandy—the reddish-blonde waitress—was already giving him the eye as she walked past the line-up at the pool. Furthermore, he was already making time with Ytossi (I mean, did you see that pathetic attempt at pathos she put on at the farewell dinner in her “spat” with Taheed? I mean, really! ). So, he’s just primed for trouble. And of course, three of the guys already gave him the dreaded “bracelet”—a warning only to talk, but not touch their beloveds. But, I think that a simple bauble of beads isn’t going to stop him. Heck. He was already working it by just being there!
What it comes down to is that Mark Wahlberg ends up being part-time Madame Lisa and pimp as he moderates this so-called “exploration” into the depths of trust and love. And although each of the couples have been together for an extended amount of time, you could see that he was sitting there with “uncontrolled” glee as he watched each of the couples deal with unexpected nooky thrown in their face. This was the case of the guys, especially. In their point of view, while their girlfriends were crying their eyes out because they were afraid, they were going for the free milk instead of buying the cow. So much for commitment.
Note to Ytossi: If your honeybunny has left you before, why did you think that voting one chick off the island and putting a bracelet on another was going to stop him? Stupid, stupid. You too, Valerie. After all, Kaya, your model boytoy, is just as susceptible to sampling a few island delights out of your purview. I already feel sorry for you already!
But oh—there’s the rub. While each of the guys and gals make time with the singles, there is the sacred “bonfire” (sort of Survivor-esque in a way) where each of the members of the four couples have to watch masochistically the other half go on their dates. Although there was a tantalizing dangle of a preview at the end of the show, I can’t wait until next week when they finally whether faithfulness is still a notion. I know for a fact, that it isn’t. And unfortunately, to see their grief and stupidity during this island romp is going to be great television watching.
You’ve got to tune into this show while listening to Mya’s “Case of the Ex”.
Notes:
[1] Anne Rice. “Elliot: The Voyage In”. Exit to Eden. New York; Ballantine Books, 1985. Pg.44.
“A
New Age Exit to Eden ©2001 by Ceci M.
If you have any questions or comments about this essay, e-mail: cecim999@yahoo.com.