Alf Stewart. Just the name, spawn's jealousy. Look at him. He 0wnz The Diner and The Bait Shop [well he DID]. He is charasmatic in every way possible to man. Plus, to top it off, he knows how to drive the sheila's wild ;).
Ok, ok. Enough. Follow these instructions, and in less than 24 hours, you will be a flamin' Alf poser :).
Alf sport's the latest flannel shirt's avalible from most Woolworth's, Cole's and K-Mart stores. There fairly inexpensive and an affordable, and may i stress, essential basic for your Alf wardrobe.
If you feel a little more dressy and perhaps want to impress a few sheila's, you may wish to spice up your attire with a loose dress shirt, availble from Lowes [other clothes stores, just don't get the styling right] and at an affordable price too. This man knows how to dress in style, at an affordable price.
Alf usually strut's his stuff in trousers. However, he has been known to wear the odd pair of tracksuit pants and short's. Both of which can be bought from K-mart, Lowes and a few supermarkets like Woolworth's and Cole's.
Don't forget the belt. Also avalible at Lowes.
Think short and sharp. Keep it trimmed and clean cut [you may want to shave a bald patch on your head as well, for affect]
Last but definatly not last, this is the essiential ingrediant if you want to reach elite Alf wannabe status. Alf is far from shy, a little rude perhaps at times. But this is all in good taste, if Alf believes strongly in something, he'll go all out to prove he's flamin' right! Damn straight. You the man, Alf.
Lingo...well here's a few basic word's you'll need to use commonly [try to use one per sentance minimum, after awhile, it'll be a second nature to you :)]:
Flamin': Very common word, use this with everything. eg "What the flamin' hell's going on in here?!?" "Stone the Flamin' crows!"
Hooligan: Idiot, touble maker etc.eg "The flamin' young hooligans come in here with there baseball caps on backwards, just asking for trouble!"
Hoon: Generally a young person causing mischief. eg "Look at that Flamin hoon"
Hogan's Ghost: Use in shock. eg "Hogan's Ghost!"
Punk: A teenager eg "Those punks better turn down that flamin' rubbish"
Strick Me ...: In appropiate circumstances this is used eg "Stick me Rum!" differs from "Strick me flamin' PINK!"
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