The J.A.M. (Registered User)
Thursday, July 24, 2003 at 9:45:11 PM CST
The Dark Shadow Saga: Is the end near?
[...unWARP!!!]
Good evening.
*******
"Phone? Bathroom?" thought the avian as he turned to see who was asking.
The jaguar gasped when he saw a duck, with feline scratch scars on his face. "Um, don't I know you?
"YOU....." hissed Negaduck. His last encounter with him, or perhaps that puma, had left him the
reminder on his face.
"What, you know me? Listen, I kinda need a phone and a bathroom right now because there are
no litterboxes on this planet and--"
"ONÇA!!!"
The jaguar thought he recognised that other voice, so he turned and saw--
Meowth?
Wait, if Meowth was here, where was Team Ro--
Right behind him, it seemed.
Along with everyone else.
In fact, every single villain from The Ultimate Coffeehouse Brawl was there, including those who were
in outer space and couldn't go through the planetary shield.
"It's a Rangerphile!!" shouted Osama Bin Laden.
The panther slowly backed away. This was definitely *not* good.
And the bathroom would have to wait.
Meowth took out his Pokéball...
*******
Until next time, remember:
I AM THE J.A.M.
Good evening.
[WARP!!!]
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AH-64 Apache (Registered User)
is on the wait.....
While the action of the Auction is kicking into 6th gear,the Chopper and his crew sits at the
local airport,watchin airliners and such land and take-off.
Da Bus: Man this is gettin boring
Stealth: How they suppose to contact us!? i wanna know whats goin on!!
Da Bus: by computer link...i think. just wait it out and keep your scanners open, something
might give us a clue to help....
And with that,they contiued to watch as the jets come and go.
--------------------------------------------------------------
The J.A.M. (Registered User)
More...
[...unWARP!!!]
Good evening.
*******
The jaguar was backing off, as more and more villains identified him. "This isn't good, this isn't good..."
he kept saying, ready to disappear.
But to where?
No matter, because several villains began shooting now, so he had no choice but to warp
[WARP!!!]
And he did.
[GRAB!!!]
Not that it did him much good, as he was suddenly being held from the neck by Mum-Ra.
"Your pathetic powers won't work here, cat!!"
The panther's eyes turned red at this point...
*******
Until next time, remember:
I AM THE J.A.M.
Good evening.
[WARP!!!]
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CD (Registered User)
Just to stir up the thread again...
CD thougth "To heck with plot holes, I'm going to help JAM! You only live once." and with those words
he wrote himself at the same place as JAM (whatever that is).
Naturally the villains where surprised to see someone else arrive and took their attention off The JAM.
"Hold it right there. Let go of the jaguar, and no harm will come to you." CD threatened heroically.
All the evil doers looked at each other, blinked and laughed. Meowth was the first to stop laughing
and took in upon himself to take on the writer. Having remembered the wise lessons of the
Coffeehouse threads from ages past, CD summoned a ball of yarn and tossed it toward the pokemon/cat.
Meowths watched the item like a magpy who had spotted a silver ring and threw himself on the yarn.
"What a pussy!" Negaduck fumed and revved up his chainsaw.
However he was soon shoved asside by Bill Gates who seemed frenzied.
"No, he's mine!" He demanded with an insane look on his face and drool coming out of his mouth
"The unbeliever uses Mozilla instead of Internet Explorer! He must pay with his life!"
"Place your bets, place your bets!" shouted the evil sorcerer Gargamel "Will it be the monopolist or the
interloper who wins this match?"
A bell rang and CD was up against Bill Gates. To look more threatening the former was now wearing
boxing gloves. The two fighters closed on each other while minding their own defence (at least, CD was)
and then...(Censored because of extreme voilence)...was laying on the floor in a pool of his own ketchup.
"Looks like your hardware has gone soft!" CD taunted.
CD threw off his gloves and metal objects rolled out of them. All of the villains gasped in horror.
"Horse shoes!" One exclaimed horrified.
"No, magnets." CD corrected.
"You should be disqualified!" Megatron objected "You broke the rules! And you're not supposed to do so!
Only bad people break rules!"
"I agree!" Mojo Jojo added while stepping forward with a laser gun "And now I'm going to vaporize you!
And I will vaporize you because I agree that you are a bad person! And bad persons should be vaporized!
Because bad persons cannot be trusted, and thus should be vaporized. For if they are not vaporized they..."
Both CD and the villains decided to ignore Mojo Jojo and let him theorize while the next contestant
stepped forward. It was Osama Bin Laden, but before he could say anything hateful or un-islamic
someone who disagreed with him decided to settle and score and poor Osama with punched in his face
by the fist of Allah. The hand of Budha joined in as well and Osama was given the beating of his life.
CD praised them, but scrapped Allah, Budha and Osama out of the story because it was getting too
religious. And CD himself was anything but religious. Instead, he wrote himself a nuke canon.
"Who wants to glow in the dark?" He threatened before realising what he was doing and tossed the
thing away "I must be violating at least a hundred international UN treaties if I fire that thing.
I'm starting to run out of good ideas." He admitted and took out a notebook and read it before
pocketing it and facing his audience while assuming an ancient martial arts combat stance
"Beware evil-doers, or I shall make Chop Suei out of you all. I'll do the chopping and you'll be sueing!"
Out of nowhere a rimshot could be heard, but when no one laughed CD looked puzzled.
"That wasn't funny? I think that proves I'm already used all the good ones"
----------
Good day and who's going to safe the JAM from the clutches (litterally) of Mum-Ra? And who's going
to safe those villains from my bad acting skills?
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AH-64 Apache (Registered User)
and the fun beings.......i think
All the choppers were still at the airport,airplane watchin and playin spades,which AirRaid and
Hard Drive was puttin the smack down on Stealth and Razor.Chooper(me) just hung back and
watched them,taunting the losers and such.The game came to a crashing stop when the
Hanger's Air Support alarm went off.
AirRaid: shots fired at sector five-eight sir,appears to be semi-automatic fire.shall we check it out.
Chopper: Naw,ill give it ah look.If its more than enuff,ill holla for yall
With that,he started his engines and lifted off en-route for the cafe.Little that he knew,CD already
did the damage.As he nears he notices most the Villains walking about.Without no warning,
except from the rotors beatsing the air,he begins to open fire on the villains,first take'in shots at
Mum-Ra.The Villains all run and take cover as Mum-Ra gets holes poked in him by 30mm rounds.
Choppers contiues to fling bullits about the area where some of the villains are hiding.He stops
fireing long enuff to give one warning...
Chopper:I dont know why yall are here and neither do i give ah hoot so its time to pack up and
head home!!THE CAFE IS NOW CLOSED!!!!
He opens fire again,sending a few rounds flyin before ducking behind a building for hiding cover
and waits for the villains to move.
---------------------------------------------------------------
The J.A.M. (Registered User)
ONÇA SMASH!!!
[...unWARP!!!]
Good evening.
*******
No sooner had Mum-Ra released his captive, when the captive suddenly punched him, and
several villains around him, into the horizon.
A horrifying roar filled everyone's ears as the Incredible Black Panther took over.
-----
Meanwhile, at the Cafe...
An alarm on one of TPL's computers rang. Gadget ran to check, and saw that the
sensor had detected a radioactive source, as well as explosions.
"Guys, I think we've got trouble!"
*******
Until next time, remember:
I AM THE J.A.M.
Good evening.
[WARP!!!]
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AH-64 Apache (Registered User)
one more time!!
Seeing the Black Panther changing and the explosions from the villains,
Chopper has no other choice but to call for backup.
"Yo fellas,we got trouble here....time to clean house!!!"
AirRaid over the radio: We hear ya bro....on our way in 8 mins tops!!
Chopper pops back over the building and begin fire'in Hydra rockets at the
villains,not knowing where they will hit.He then Radios to Gadget via TPL's comp
Chopper: Gadget,yall take cover,we gunna try and hold'em off!!
Gadget: GOTCHA!!
With that,he contiues fire'in a few more rockets and then ducks back down behind
the building for cover and hiding to wait out the come'in of his crew.
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The J.A.M. (Registered User)
Friday, August 1, 2003 at 9:39:04 PM CST
Dark Shadow Enigma conclusion?
[...unWARP!!!]
Good evening.
*******
By the time the rest of the Rangerphiles and Rescue Rangers got to the auction,
all the gunfire had ceased. They all looked around, and saw helicopters, planes,
and tanks with their guns steaming, and every villain down for the count,
including Meowth, Negaduck, and Mum-Ra.
Then they saw the Black Panther stagger toward them. He was clearly exhausted,
and just a trifle bruised.
Then, he fell on his face, unconscious, and began to shrink...
*******
Until next time, remember:
I AM THE J.A.M.
Good evening.
[WARP!!!]
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