LOVE EPIDEMIC--PART 4
-----------------------
Back at the Coffeehouse, on the Dragon Planet. Take Two
John D is now in the basement of the coffeehouse.
He approaches a copmuter which is currently displaing all of the going
ons of the main room. He sits down at the terminal at starts on his master plan
John D
-------------------------------
"What? did everyone just forget we were here?!? That just about ticks me off!"
the echidna yelled. Anger got the better of him and he socked the nearest creature.
Antoine went flying across the room and slammed into the far wall.
"Oh, look at ze prety colours!" The fox(coyote?) then slipped off to visit the
land of dreams.
Knightram took a seat at the bar. He looked at the other patrons as they went
about their busy little business, be that business oggling over a female, or chatting
with the other non-zapped patrons.
Tails had at least stopped floating. He and Tammy(not the arachnid) had found
a table and were... I dunno... gazing into each other's eyes? Talking? Cuddling?
Dyglo was still trying to regain control of his speech, and was still failing,
but it didn't bother him much. Just as long as he was with Dulcy. Dulcy, 'tis like
the sound of an angel singing. Dulcy, whose face outshines the sun. Dulcy, the
loveliest thing to ever exist! Okay, Dyglo, let's try it! "Duh-huh-huh, yurr purdy,
huh-huh." DOH!
Sonic had gotten ahold of a little too much coffee and was running around
on the walls. Sally had gotten into a philisophical debate with Gadget, and it
didn't look like it was going to end anytime soon.
Dyglo
----------------------
Emmy's office
Considering the nature of the Ranger Coffeehouse, is wasn't suprising that the
security personnel watching the video monitors were also trained in psychology.
Emmy was trying to get back into her routine after what may have been the
second-strangest lunch hour of her career,when monitor number A3j
(communications / basement) showed unexpected movement at a computer console.
She patched the video to her supervisor, and notified basement - level security.
*Investigate - possible communications security breach imminent*
Triggered by the patch, the scene below was recorded for later study.
Karl
----------------------
John is busy working on his master plan. He is just about to impliment it when
he hears a noise behind him. He turns around to see 5 large security gards moving towards him.
"I think I might have a problem" John said looking at the large guards.
"You got that right, now do you mind explaing what you are doing down here?"
Asked the large guard
"Yeah,THIS" John pulls a batarang out of the utility belt on his costume and throws
it at one of the guards. It whizes past the guard and arcs back aroung heading straight
for John. He just misses getting hit in the head. He tries throwing all of the other stuff
in the belt and misses all of the guards.
"Opps, better work on the aim"
John D
------------------------
In the basement:
The guards continue watching for any sign of aggressive or criminal activity.
Seeing none, they spray John D. with a harmless but very slippery gel, causing him to
lose his footing and fall to the floor. They then use gloves designed to grip
through the gel to gently carry him back to the cafe area of the coffeehouse.
By the time they reach the bar, the gel has dried and flaked away,
leaving him feeling clean all over and springtime-fresh.
He is left with a receipt for one free beverage of his choice, and half-off
at the Coffeehouse manicure salon. He presses a button on the card.
(Musical jingle plays ::Claws or nails, we never fails - We'll buff your stuff
'till you shout "enough!"::)
Though not notably vain about his appearance, he finds this offer oddly interesting.
Perhaps it's due to the gel residue under his fingernails.
Karl
-----------------------
After Dale, Foxglove, and Karl showed up, Johnny began to feel a little more at ease
with Tammy the Tarantula at the table. Ok, it doesn't seem to be killing anyone yet.
I can handle this. Besides, if it decides to go postal, I can always use Karl as a human
shield. Geez, I can't believe I screamed out "Yi!" I must have looked like a total wuss.
Johnny decided it was best to simply avoid eye contact and turned his attention
back to Pikachu. The playful shocks he was receiving were beginning to make his
sunglasses glow. Cool! If he keeps this up, maybe I'll be able to throw lightning bolts
like that guy from "Misfits of Science." He took a swig of his Koo-Koo Kola and looked
out across the room. He suddenly noticed something odd(Yeah, right. Only one thing???).
"Hey, why is Robin being dragged around by security? Is he finished with that roadwork
he was doing with that big-haired anime girl." Nobody at the table knew, so the
conversation went back to the new arrivals, Elaine and Tammy. "Pika?" Pikachu offered
some of his ketchup to Tammy, who gladly accepted.
Johnny B
----------------------
John decides that the tights deal isn't for him so he ceans up and changes back into
his regular clothing. Then he takes up the offer for a free beverage and orders a
cup of earl grey tea. He looks around for someone to talk with.
John D
------------------------
The security staff make a routine check of the basement after removing their
misplaced guest, but one question remained unanswered:
Just what *had* John D been doing on that computer?
A virus checking program began running....
Karl
------------------------
"There! Finished! Doesn't look half bad. Now I can get a refill."
There was a brilliant flash of light, but it wasn't seen in the café area because
of the closed door. Laying in the place of where the C³ was, there was a skunk.
Who am I? I am Rose. That's straightened out, I think I'll look around a little...
Apparently the Coffee machine was malfunctioning. "Try to understand.
I want a double Café Mocha with chocolate curls in it."
"Quadruple Café Latté with a twist of lemon coming right up sir."
"No, double Café Mocha with chocolate curls."
"Very well, quintuple decaf cappacino with orange juice."
"No No No! I want a double Café Mocha with chocolate curls!"
"Well! I never! If you're gooing to yell at me, I you don't need any more coffee!
Try again when you can be more civil."
"Excuse me, Julie?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I borrow your sword for a moment?"
"What for?"
"I need to teach a machine a lesson."
"Sorry, it might dull the edge, not to mention all the knicks and dents it might
put in it."
"Aww, Julie! You're no fun!" Chris went back to trying to get his drink from
the unwilling machine. "C'mon you stupid,stubborn, malfunctioning piece of junk!
Give me what I want!"
"Insults will get you nowhere. And that command isn't recognised by my
operating system, so there!" Someone tapped Chris on the shoulder.
"Mind if I give it a try?"
"Go right ahead! I've tried everything with this pile of scrap metal."
Chris went to sit at his table. He began studying his sketch some more.
"Oh yes, of course, right away ma'am. I always try to please.
Here's your double Café Mocha with chocolate curls. I hope you enjoy drinking
it as much as I enjoyed making it!"
"Great, now it decides to work. I don't know why I even bother." Chris
comtinued to look at the drawing some more.
"Excuse me, I believe this is what you were wanting?"
"Hmm? Oh... You were say...ing... some...thing...?" Chris trailed off.
Before him was Rose, holding out a cup. He switched between looking at her and
looking at her drawing. And then, he fainted dead away.
Can you believe it? This is Dyglo! Yes, Dyglo! He's the one who wrote this post!
Not The J.A.M., not Karl, and not even Man-Child, but Dyglo! Isn't that cool?
------------------------------
Karl wasn't altogether comfortable with spiders for some reason, perhaps it was a
vague sense of guilt for those he'd found in his bathtub and sent off to a watery doom.
"It's the house rules here," He'd always said, "this is *my* territory, and you enter
at your own risk, just as flies do your web."
He wasn't sure Tammy would buy that line.
He was distracted by a new arrival, a skunkette, complete with the traditional
floofy tail and sharply defined single white stripe. "I wish I could draw like those
Disney animators," he thought, admiring the bold linework. "But I don't recognize
the character. Some one-shot from an animated feature, perhaps?"
He shrugged, and went back to the interrupted discussion of interdimensional
necktie drawers, a subject which the Enduring Man-Child had studied at length,
complex and knotted problem though it was.
A moment later, alone at his table but for the new arrival, Chris slumped over
and almost slid to the floor.
Karl had occasionally glanced at the new arrival, still idly wondering who she was,
so it wasn't long after Chris' fainting that he noticed.
"Excuse me," he said, standing. "I think our friend "over there" has a problem."
The skunkette looked distraught, new to the world and blaming herself for her
creator's distress. her efforts to wake him were having effect, but her nervousness
was beginning to express itself in a faint odor. For the good of the entire room, it
would be best to calm her - first.
"May I help?" Karl asked, from a nonthreatening distance.
She spun around, facing him.
Karl held his empty hands out in the ancient gesture of good will. "Who, me?"
Over her shoulder, Karl caught a glimpse of the sketch. Ah, so that was it.
"Happy Birthday!" he said.
She looked confused.
"I think he was just suprised to see you." Karl went on, "See, he's already waking up!"
An effect somewhat like that of smelling salts had helped, but he wasn't about to
mention it.
"You OK, Chris?"
"Uhhh..."
"Let us know if there's a problem, and come on over to our table if you'd like.
Oh, and congratulations! You're a "creator"!
He left them alone to sort things out, and went back to his seat, checking first
for spiders...
Karl
-------------------------
Having been invited to a mysterious-type gathering at the Ranger coffeehouse,
Chris was feeling seriously worried. He's seen some of the threads concerning
this story, and it was even wierder than the school-bus one. What's more, those
captivating, sun-eclipsing 'Magical Female Powers" (tm) seemed to be affecting
several members therin.
Having to take a few minutes to recover from thinking up over four words
in sentance with over two syllables, Chris knocked nervously at the Cafe door.
Here could here much talking from within, he could also smell something, well
besides mayonnaise. (Still?!?)Should he dare go in? Well, too late, he'd knocked
on the door - and now Monterey was staring at him, smiling widely.
"Ahh, good to see ya, me little pally!" he welcomed Chris.
Whilst it was conforting hearing Monty's voice, Chris was still nervous,
and that smell was even stronger now. "I swear I've changed my socks today" he
thought. 'Well, are you coming in then?!" Monty continued, snaping Chris out of
his thoughts. "You betcha!, well as long as you shelter me" Chris told him.
"'Shelter you', from what?" Monty loked puzzled. "Why, those Magical Female
Powers (tm), I've heard there's quite a lot of them at the moment" Chris replied.
Monty's smile grew wider, "Sure mate, you stick with Monty, and you can't go wrong!"
Chris smiled back.
If Chris had been wanting to stay incognito (It took me ten minutes to get that
word write, er I mean right) It couldn't last long, as Roy-Neal and Dale had both
been looking with interest at who Monty had been chatting with for so long, and
when Chris appeared, they'd got up to greet him. "Hiya Chris!" Dale called loudly,
as Chris walked towards them, trying to stay as close to Monterey as possible, and
near the wall too. "No Magical Female Poewr (tm) is going to get me!" Chris thought
to himself. As Dale shouted, Chris looked up smiling, but terrified that his cover
had been blown (mind you,It would be hard behind Monty).
"Same shirt then!" Dale continued happily. "Hi Dale" Chris replied, becoming more
confident as he got to a table full of familiar faces. "Of course It's the same shirt!
Chris replied, beofre turning to Foxglove. "Hi Foxglove" "Hi Chris" she replied,
"good to see you again".
"Hey, thanks for the photos, you guys, they are sooo good!" Chris told them,
which made Dale and Foxglove pleased with themsleves.
"Glad they came out okay!" Dale told him,
"Yep, anything for a fan!" Foxglove finished guiding Chris to a seat next to Roy-Neal.
"Nice to see you again, Roy-Neal" Chris was pleased to see him again.
"And you, Chris!" came the reply. "Glad you got here okay. Now, I'd like
you to meet two very close friends of mine. This is Elaine" he said, indicating
the lady sat on his left, "we met at the Chateax Pack a few weeks ago, and I'm very
glad she could be here with me tonight" he finished, very sincerely. 'It's very nice
to meet you, Miss Elaine" Chris told here as he gave her a short hug,
"I hope you two are enjoying yourselves" He asked. "Oh we are, Roy-Neal here is so interesting!"
Elaine said enthusiastically, making Roy-Neal go a slight shade of red.
"Ahem, anyway" Roy-Neal continued, trying to change the subject more than anything else.
"Thjis is my other friend,I've told you about him, and the show he is from.
Did you go to that site, by the way?" "No," Chris had to admit ashamed at himself,
"I'm sorry, I never had a chance".
"Never mind!" Roy-Neal replied comfortingly, "you can meet him in person now, and I'll
fill you in better than any web-site anyway. It's none other than the Pikachu!!!!!!!!"
"Hello Mr Pikachu" Chris started, giving him a big stroke.
"Hey, Indy was right, think Cat!" Chris said to himself, almost releived. Having
never seen Pokemon, he surely didn't want to mess up his first encounter with It's most
popular (well at least in the coffeehouse, if not the world!) Character. Chris also said
hello to Karl, who seemed to be exhibiting a certain figitiness (I really hope that
is a word) at something. "Are you okay, Karl?" "Sure, must love spiders, must love spiders"
he replied, in an almost trance-like tone. "Spiders, where are the spiders?" Chris asked.
***************************
Whilst all this mundane, going nowhere, drastically tacky self-insertion into a
coffeehouse thread was taking place, something of unknown proportions was taking place
in the coffeehose basement, something so vile only saomeone who isn't me then I won't
get into treouble can comment on, a master plan was being hatched under the very noses
of the Rescue Rangers. What could it be, when would it occur? Well I've no idea,
I just don't know what else to write about.
*****************************
Chris(the one at the other table) slowly raised his head off the table
(which bore a fairly good resemblance of his head) to see a smal skunkette sttod before him.
She looked worried, almost distraught. "Oh, you're alright!" she gasped and ran round to him.
Chris thought he was about to faint again. He held the small skunkette in his arms,
as he realised that she was his, his creation. He looked down at her and then at his
drawing again, and simply sighed in wonder. "Wow, what a wonderful place" he concluded,
I've...i've done it, I've created something", then he loked back at Rose." You're wonderful,
and so beautiful as well' he said causing Rose to blush. He thought for a moment.
'Now, will you be a go girl and tell Daddy something?"
"Yes, of course....daddy" she replied looking up at him sincerely.
"How did you get that coffee machine to work?"
Dale
----------------------
"How did you get that coffee machine to work?"
"Simple!" she answered, "I just used my Magical Female Powers(tm)!"
"The Enduring Man-Child"
-------------------------
(
geocities.com/televisioncity/Set) (
geocities.com/televisioncity)