Excuses For Not Having Your Homework

General Excuses
--My locker wouldn't open.
--I brought my (other subject) book by mistake.
--The file was erased before I could print it out.
--My printer ate it.
--Mom (or another member of your family) formatted the disk by mistake.
--My printer broke down/died.
--My pit bull ate it.
--My little brother/sister colored all over it.
--The librarian thought it was an overdue library book and took it.
--It was blown up while I was in Basic Training.
--It was stolen (by the homework faerie).
--It's being held for ransom and I refuse to pay.
--My (type of class) class got a hold of it, so it's as good as gone.
--My best friend was hungry.
--My science project is living on/in it.
--Somebody tore out the pages and used them as toilet paper.
--Big bird took it to Sesame Street.
--Pac-Man thought it was a power pellet...
--Pac-Baby teethed on it. Now it looks like shredded wheat.
--Scotty beamed it up.
--Miles O'Brien beamed it aboard Deep Space 9 because Odo said it was important evidence in a case he was working on.
--A very near-sighted man mistook it for a video tape, so he shoved it into a VCR.
--My dog wouldn't eat it, so I had to go to the City Pound to find one that would.
-- 4 out of 5 voices in my head told me not to do it.
--"I'm going to give my report telepathically..."
--The WB network bought it. They plan to make a sitcom based on it.
--The FBI confiscated it.
--It's on display at the Art guild.

Excuses For Not Having Your Homework--Space Ace Style

--The Groots used my books as a scratching post.
--The Patrol Pups ate it.
--The robots shot it.
--Borf took it/used it to repair the Infanto Ray.
--Kimberly used it as a shield; it didn't last long.
--I left it in the Buzzer that was shot down. It exploded in the crash.
--Ace had a shoot out with the goon squad. My homework got caught in the crossfire.
--It fell down a cliff on an alien planet.
--Shag ate it.
--The shape-shifter stole it.

Jubilee's Excuses For Not Having Her Homework(pre-Generation X)

-- The (name of a group of bad guys) attacked me while I was trying to finish it. It was destroyed in the attack.
-- My book flew away.
-- Wolverine thought it was baloney and put it in a sandwich, which he ate.
-- Gambit charged it.
-- Gambit stole it.
-- Rogue went berserk and destroyed it.
-- One of Storm's stray lightning bolts toasted it.
-- Black Tom is holding it for ransom and I refuse to pay.
-- Lockheed ate it/burned it while Kitty Pryde was visiting.
-- Magneto erased the disk during his last attack.

Excuses For Not Having Your Homework--Rescue Ranger Style

-- Fat Cat is holding it for ransom and I refuse to pay!
--Desiree DeLure stole it and sold it.
--I left my books in Nimnul's lab, and picked up some of his by mistake.
--Rat Capone used it to make fake cheese.
-- Lawhiney burned it/threw it into a volcano.
-- Sewernose stole it and plans to perform one of the plays in it (this applies only to a Literature class which uses a textbook with plays in it).
--Flash the Wonder Dog buried it.
--I got cheeze-whiz on it and Monty ate it.
--My answers were so brilliant, Gadget borrowed my homework so she could analyze it.