Ask Hook-Nose
Advice-Giver Extrordinaire
*Question*
dear hook nose,my friend is dating an evil person,
what can i do to stop it?
*Answer*
Interesting Question, I must admit. But before answering it there are a few things you need to determine.First, is the person really evil or are they just misunderstood. If it is the later, I think it's all a misunderstanding.
If it is the first, then you have to move onto the next question.
Is the person truely evil, like a cruel black-hearted bitch, the kind that stabs out the eyes of little kittens
OR are they possessed by a demon. Because if it's the first, you can get pictures of the kittens and show your friend the destruction their significant other has already caused and warn them of their impending demise.
BUT...
...if they are possessed by a demon, there are other measures you should take. (Oh, and be sure they're just not just Schizophrenic, it's a common mistake to confuse this with demonic possession)
Some signs to look for are the practice of lewd and obscene acts, or even sexual thoughts; horrible smells of bodily ordors or of sulphur, associated with hell; distended stomachs; rapid weight loss where death seems inevitable; changes in the voice to a deep, rasping, menacing, guttural croak. Occasionally there may be signs of automatic writing or levitation.
If through the appearance of these signs, you are still convinced that this person is possessed by a demon or the devil herself, you can perform an exorcism. Here are some basic instructions to performing the exorcism...
During the ritual usually salt, representing purity, and wine, representing the blood of Christ, are present.
The victim is to hold a crucifix during the rite. The exorcist is encouraged to use holy water and relics, usually
pieces of bones from Saints, and recite Biblical scriptures and other prayers.
The greatest danger to you, the exorcist, is becoming possessed by the Devil or demon himself.
This is the reason why you,the exorcist, must feel no secret need for punishment.
Now, if it happens that you're not Christian, I guess Jesus ain't gonna save you and you're all going to hell. And in that case, your friend will be doomed to a life of temptation under the control of his significant other.
Happy Head-Spinning!
Hook-Nose
:c)
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Hook-Nose, Advice-Giver Extrordinaire
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