"Villain for a Day"
Nar: We join Earthworm and his ever loyal sidekick Peter Puppy
surrounded by evil zerbs.
Slug-butt: Ah, ha, ha! Earthworm Jim I will finally destroy you
with my might zerbs. Then I conquer the universe. Ha ha ha!
Peter: I must not fear, fear is the mind killer, fear is the
little death that brings total oblivion.
Jim: We shall get out of this mess as soon I figure out how. Hm,
oh, um, I know.... Ahhh!
(Peter transforms into a monster, after wrestling a little with
Jim picks up Peter and throw him on to a zerb. As Peter pulls more
zerbs into the fight one by one as the other zerbs flee.)
Slug-butt: Come back here you cowards!
( She looks around and sees that she is alone)
Don't leave me here you fools!
(Queen chase after the zerbs)
(As monster Peter returns to attack Jim a space postman arrives)
Postman: Letter for Jim Worm Earth.
Jim: That's Earthworm Jim.
Postman: Whatever.
(Postman hand Jim the letter. As Jim reads monstrous Peter walks
up, and Jim tickles him before he get a chance to maul 'em.)
Peter: Ah hahahahaaa....*burp*. Hey, who's that from?
Jim reading the Letter: Jim and Peter Puppy, you have been invited
to a Galactic Hero get together party at the Galactic Hero League
Head Quarters signed, Princess What's Her Name.
Jim: Ah, my candy apple of dexterousy has invited us to a party, I
just know she is thinking of me.
Come Peter let us go to the Galactic Hero League at once!
( Jim pulls out his rocket, and he and Peter blast off.)
Theme Title....
Nar: Earthworm Jim arrived at the Galactic Hero League party which
turns out to be a decorative, um, but dull disappointment.
(Hamsatnator, the Space Crickets, and
Turns-His-Eyelids-Inside-Out-Boy are a table and chatting about there
heroic deeds, Peter is lounged up in a chair asleep, Princess What's
Her Name is sitting on a couch, and is watching Jim who is dance to
some funny music.)
Jim: All of this dancing is working me up an appetite, hey where's
the snacks?
Princess: What snacks?
Jim: What do you mean "what snacks"? You can have a party without
food.
Princess: Fine, why don't you just order a pizza or something?
Jim: Ok!
On the phone: Hello, Pizza Place, I'd like to order a jumbo
pizza with everything on it, and I'd like it delivered too...
What do you mean the delivery is not free? Well, I will just have
to pick it up myself. Of all the things a worm has to do to save a
few lousy bucks.
Worry not my winsome slab of jellaty I shall retrieve our pizza
and return within a few minutes.
Peter: Zzz, Wha? Oh, need any help Jim?
Jim: No thanks Fuzz buddy you look like you could use some sleep.
Now, off though the mysterious darkness of space I go!
******
Nar: Now for your own video collection, "20,000 Easy Step To
Becoming an Evil Inventor". An education document created personally
by the insidious Professor Money for a Head
Pro.: These fine, highly recommend videos reveal the many wonders
of being and becoming an evil inventor. These videos also show
some of my most horrible invention such as the razor blade
toothbrush (show hero using the toothbrush, then toothbrush
attacking), the heroic good guy detector (show hero walk into a room
and setting off detector *Ka-Boom*), and the nuclear gift basket
(show villain giving gift basket to hero who is in the hospital).
Nar: The first fifty order will receive a nifty book titled "PAIN!
How to Deal with It", which is also created by the wondrous Professor
Monkey for a Head.
Pro.: This book tell the many type of pain and how to deal with
it. Recommended for when those cursed heroes, who occasionally
throw you those unplanned defeats.
(The same hero in the videos jumps in and starts beating up
Professor Monkey for a Head).
****
Nar: Now back to Earthworm Jim.
We rejoin our hero as he is on his way to retrieve a pizza. (show
Jim on his rocket, then move seen to the planet Heck.)
Evil: Ah hahaha! At last I've completed building my hairball
torpedo canon. Now, if only I could find a foolish victim to tested
it on.
Henchrat: Ha,hu, Henchrat stop big funny worm on screen.(Henchrat
looks at the TV connected to the canon, Evil then hits Henchrat.) Ow!
Evil: Well done, FIRE the torpedoes!
(The torpedo is launched at Jim. Jim sees the torpedo coming
towards him and starts to scream.)
[Commercial]
Nar: We return to our bold hero who is about to be blasted into
oblivion.
(The torpedo hits Jim's pocket rocket creating an explosion. Jim
and his rocket fall on to the planet Heck, Jim creates a deep
imprint in the ground. As Jim climbs out of the hole Evil and his
rats surround Jim.)
Jim: Wha, Where am I?
(Jim looks at Evil the Cat)
Who are you?
Evil: Stupid worm, you should know better than to play game with
the personification of malevolence, the foe of virtue, the king
villain, I Evil the Cat.
Jim: Cat? Ha,ha! Your funniest cat I've ever seen.
(Jim points and laughs at Evil. Evil looks at the viewers with
an annoyed expression.)
Evil: Enough! Now I shall destroy you Earthworm Jim. (Evil shows
his claws.)
Jim: Who?
Evil: You. Are you saying you don't know who you are?
Jim: Uhhhh, yes, no.....Should I?
Henchrat: He,he,he! super hero worm forgot who he is. (Evil hits
Henchrat) Ow! Thank you, boss.
Evil: Silence! (Evil stop to think for a second, then he smiles
wickedly.)
Why, you are Earthworm Jim, the galaxy's most villainous
invertebrate.
Jim: Oh! Are you sure? I don't look very evil.
Evil: I can arrange that. (Evil laughs, as Jim stares at Evil with
a false smile.)
*****
(Jim gets a few "evil" additions to his suit.)
Jim: Groovy! I'm ready to do some bad guy stuff.
Evil: Don't say Groovy, we super villains say ex-cel-lent. But
your read for the test.
Jim: Um,Uh what test?
(Evil looks around, and pick a newspaper)
Evil: A test that will prove to me that you have what it takes to
be a villain.
Jim: But you said...
Evil: Silence! There is a spaceship that is transporting ten
billion dollars in gold to the Earth. Worm! You will rob the
spaceship of its precious gold then you will blow it up with this
(Evil holds out a bomb) to show that you are mercifulness.
Jim: That would be very nice.
Evil: Ah hahahaa! Exactly!
Jim: What if I don't what to do it?
Evil: Then I will rip you to shred.
Jim: Oh. In that case I guess I'll go through with it. Huh?
*****
(seen starts on Psy-Crow's Space Scow)
Psy-Crow: Ah, ain't that nice a spaceship is ship'n ten billion
dollars in gold to the Earth. I shall add the gold to my week
collection of five hundred pounds of rubies, my two thousand
yo-yos, and my hundred thousand pound of banana peels. Uh, I
still thing that last one was mistake. Well time to brake out the
old villainous capture routine. Wha...
(As the ship cargoing the gold nears Psy-Crow's Space Scow,
Earthworm Jim zooms in next to the space ship that is caring the
gold, Jim holds up the polite with his gun, the polite jumps out of
the ship as Jim picks the ship up and pours all the gold from the
ship into a very large sack. As throwing the sack over his shoulder,
Jim tosses a bomb into the space ship and rockets back to Heck just
as the bomb explodes.)
Psy-Crow: I don't believe it, What in the heck was that all about?
******
Nar: Back that the Galactic Hero League Peter Puppy raises concern
of Jim's absence.
Peter: Huh! Jim's not back yet. Oh, he has been gone along time, I
wonder if he is all right.
Princess: I'm sure he's fine. He probably had to stop somewhere
to save the universe or something pointless like that.
Peter: Your probably right. (Peter picks up a newspaper. The front
page reads: "Gold stolen by funny looking worm thingy".) Hay, its
Jim! (Peter show a the pitcher to the princess.)
Princess: I guess the right thing to do is to go find Jim and see
what this is all about.
(Peter and the princess board a Galactic Hero space ship and blast
off.)
*******
Nar: Back on the planet Heck, Jim is having second thoughts on his
resent actions.
Jim: I don't think I did the right thing back there.
Evil: You did well, I never though such villainous acts could come
of such good doing, simple mind. But you are still soft, super
villains must be strong and unforgiving.
Jim: Yeah, but why do I feel so guilty?
Evil: Come foolish worm we shall go to Earth and destroy it.
Jim: Why?
Evil: Because we are evil villains and that's what we do best.
Jim: Oh! I knew that.
*********
(Evil and Jim arrive on Earth)
Evil: Now Jim demolish the town, blast away all the buildings,
destroy everything in your path.
Henchrat: He,he! Worm destroy his home town. (Evil hits Henchrat)
Ow! Thank you, boss.
Jim: Oookay! If you say so.
(Jim starts picking up cars and throwing them at buildings, and
blasting at trees. Just as Jim is starts destroy another building
Peter and Princess arrive on Earth)
Evil: Ah hahaha! Stupid heroes you will parish under the power of
my new lackey.
(Peter and Princess look to where Evil is pointing, and they see
Jim, and at him with a surprised look.)
Peter: JIM!
Evil: Worm! Destroy them!
Jim: Whatever you say boss.
(Jim then looks at the Princess, with a love glance.) Her too?
Evil: Now!!!
Peter: Jim! (Jim points his gun at Peter ) Naoooooo! (Peter turns
into a monster, and then jumps on to Jim and restyles him. Then
Peter takes Jim by the foot and slams him into a wall of a half
destroyed building.)
Jim: Oww! Ah, Wha? Where am I? Peter! (Jim sees Peter charging at
him, and block himself with his arms) Stop, stay, heel!
(Peter, in the confusion turns back to normal)
Peter: Jim! You remember who you are!
Jim: Uh, yeah! Am I suppose to? (Jim gets up and dusts his self
off, then looks at Evil)
Villainous cat! For what ever reason your here it can't be good.
(Jim points his gun at Evil)
Evil: Oh,dear! I wasn't planning a mutiny.
Princess: Ha! No one ever does.
Evil: Retreat! (Evil and the rat army board his spaceship and
return to Heck.)
Jim: How did you two get here? Last thing I remember is going to
pick up a pizza.
Peter: Obviously you were brainwashed into a being a super
villain....
Jim: Me! Work with that cat. That's impossible.
Princess: Well, it is. Now lets go get some pizza.
Jim: Groovy! Who's paying? (Peter and Princess What's Her Name
look at Jim) Oh.
(Cow falls on Jim)
Jim: Do'h...
THE END!
Now go away!
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