Thoughts were wirling through her head. She didn't want to believe it, she couldn't believe it, but here she was and it was really happening as much as she wanted to deny it. She closed her eyes a moment, wondering how she had gotten herself into this predictament, and hoping that when she opened them she would be wakeing up in her nice warm bed and all that was happening would be a quickly fading nightmare. When she opened them, she had now such luck.
She thought through the events of the evening. It had been a night rather pleasently spent to begin with. She had been on patrol that night, but that of the paranormal hadn't been very eventful lately. So as she wandered through the graveyard, she let her thoughts stray, as they often did. She thought about alot of things. She thought about school, friends, but mostly, she thought about Angel.
She was not suprised that her thoughts led her to Angel. Instead of trying to concentrate on the hunt, she let herself drown in that which went through her head. She knew it would mean danger if she was to be caught in such a vulnerable position, but at the moment she didn't really care.
Suddenly, a voice had broken her thoughts, making her scream. She turned to face Angel. She knew it had been Angel before she had seen his face, but she was suprised none the less. A little embarrassed by her outburst, and a little mad at herself for letting him catch her when she was most vulnerable, she kept her gaze at the ground.
Angel simply approached her and slid his hand across her jaw bone. They began to walk, though niether of them knew wich way they were going. Letting subconciousness guide them, they slowly walked, gazing at the stars and holding hands.
An akward silence hung. A few uncertain words had been spoken here and there, but other than that, silence. The silence was accompanied by a feeling of uneasiness, but what dominated was the silence. Buffy guessed that perhaps she should have attempted conversation, but soon enough, conversation was the last thing she wanted; apparently Angel wasn't much for spoken exchanges at the moment as well.
Thier lips collided, causing a sense of security on Buffy's part. When in Angel's arms, she felt that no harm could possibly come to her. Inhaling his scent, she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and stood on tip toe to get closer still.
On Angel's part, the kiss was more than a kiss, it was what made his curse worth living through. When he had first had his soul returned, he cursed it for the pain it with it brought, but if those events that had occured 80 years back had not come to pass, he would have never known what true love felt like. He owed Buffy a great deal of gratitude, wich he apparently planned to pay off in affection.
After several moments of lip service, Angel pulled away, not releasing his hold on Buffy. This Buffy remembered vividly. He had offered to take her someplace... and at the risk of sounding childish... someplace special. He held out his hand and Buffy placed her's in his grasp. After tenderly kissing her hand, he started to walk.
Buffy let him lead her through streets and ally ways, through parks and neighborhoods, through a field and a couple gravyards, till they reached their destination.
Buffy stood atop a cliff overlooking Sunnydale. The view took her breath away. As she gazed upon what lay before her, she felt Angel's hand slip into hers and lead her to the edge. He led her down the side of the cliff till he came to a cave. He silently led her into the gaping mouth of the cliff, giving her a quick kiss before leaving her side.
Buffy took a seat towards the edge and awaited Angel's return. A light appeared behind her and Angel came to her side after building a fire. She moved into his lap and laid her head on his shoulder. She remembered looking up and watching the light of the fire dance on his pale skin. She remembered the gentle way he held her. Most of all, she remembered the feel of his lips as he leaned in for a kiss.
They sat there like that for a long while, watching the stars. No words were spoken, but none needed to be. Everything that needed to be said had been said in tender kisses and soft caresses. Buffy had wished they could be like this for ever, that life could be nothing but fun times with friends and romantic moments spent with the one whom your eyes meet in loveing glances. She sighed a sigh of delight when she felt Angel tenderly kiss her neck, but the sigh turned to a pain filled gasp when she felt his teeth penetrait her skin.
She struggled to push him away and did so with narrow success. When she looked into his eyes, she no longer saw the love they had held only moments before. The love had been replaced by an almost primal look. She remembered Angel running at her, but that was all. The rest that took place was nothing but scattered pictures in a picture box that she couldn't sort.
So now here she found herself, pinning Angel to the ground with a cross and a stake. She had often dreamt of Angel, but never in her dreams did Angel attack and nearly kill her. She was frightened, confused was quite the understatment, but most of all, despite what had taken place, she was in love.
She couldn't explain it. She couldn't even comprehend it. Here Angel had bitten her, almost killed her, and she found herself deep in love? She tried to talk herself out of this crazed idea, but she found no success. Be it as it may, whether Angel was a threat to her or not, she couldn't bring herself to kill him.
She slowly got up, holding the cross infront of her in case Angel were to try something. Tears were falling down her face. "Leave." she ordered.
Angel at first wasn't sure whether or not he should go. He could stay and torment her, but he figured that now was not the time. So he slowly rose from the ground, his vampire visage standing out in the moonlight.
Buffy watched as he turned and disapeered into the night like he had so many times before. She couldn't imagine what could have happened. She knew he had lost his soul, she just couldn't imagine why. Was it something she had done? Was this her fault? Or did it just happen? With tears of confussion and and intense grief, she too ventured out into the night.
Knowing that she would soon have to kill him brought more tears to her eyes. Could the Angel that had held her so gently, that had kissed her so sweetly, that had loved her possibly be purely evil? She didn't want to believe this, but she knew it was true.
She quietly climbed into her window that night. She dreaded falling asleep for she knew the moment she closed her eyes, pictures of what had previously aspired would fill her head and once she was asleep, they would not be escapable. So she just lay there awake till morning came, longing to be held.
When thier lips met, Buffy put all fear aside and gave into the love and desire she felt. He had attacked her not two nights before, but while in his arms, she could almost feel his soul thriving within him. Perhaps it was only a momentary thing?
Angel looked deep into her eyes, the look in his own contradicting the emence hatred he had felt for the slayer when he had almost succeeded in killing her. Closing his eyes, he brought her lips to his and began to gently kiss his way down her neck.
Buffy sighed as a wave of pleasure came over her, but this sigh turned do a gasp of pain as her blood left her body. She tried to pull away but there was nothing she could do but let the tears come and await the darkness...
Buffy sat up with a gasp. Sunlight streamed through the window. She looked around herself for a moment, finding herself in a classroom.
"Ms. Summers" a voice called. "Ms. Summers."
Buffy looked up at the teacher as if to say 'what the hell do you want?'.
"Ms. Summers. Please, answer the question." the teacher requested, or rather ordered. She stood there, awaiting Buffy's reply, But Buffy had none. Suddenly the bell rang and Buffy darted out of the classroom. 'Saved by the bell' she thought to herself as she slowly trudged towards the library.
"Hello Part People!" Xander exclaimed upon his entry to the library. "So, what menace are we studying so that Buffy can kick some butt?"
"Uh, well, uh, Angel accually." Giles answered.
"No. Not Angel. Angelus. Angel is dead." Buffy corrected.
"Deadboy got staked?! Just when I was starting to be able to tolerate him?" Xander exclaimed.
"No, he lost his soul." Willow explained.
"Might I suggest the TV show "Soul Searching"?" Xander joked, trying to lighten the mood. "Oh. I see. We're being serious here." He grabbed a book and prepared to be bored.
Buffy slammed a book shut in frustration. "God! we have been at this since school got out! Guys, uh, I need some sleep. I'll be back tomorrow."
"Buffy! wait!" Willow called out after her, following her out of the building.
"Willow, go back." Buffy ordered.
"Buffy, It's sunset. You shouldn't be out here alone. Not in your condition. Not to mention he'll-"
"He'll what?" Buffy snapped.
"You know what he'll do." Willow replied quietly.
"Look, Willow, I know you guys care about me but I'll be fine. I'm a big girl, really." Before Willow had a chance to reply, Buffy walked away.
She found herself in an alley. To the outsider's eye, it was any other dark passage between buildings, but to Buffy, though it took her a moment to relize this, it was so much more. She recalled doing a handstand on a horixaontle pole and catching her first look at a breathless Angel with her foor on his chest and smartass attitude. With tears in her eyes, she turned to leave.
Next, her feet carried her to a graveyard. This place held countless memories. Memories of leathle fights and playful arguments. Memories of feeting moments and soft carresses. Memories of warm embraces and tender kisses. Memories of love... of Angel. All memories she wanted to forget but could not bare to let go.
She walked to many places that night, some of wich included the Bronze where she and Angel had danced thier first dance, and her own window where they had kissed thier first kiss. She finnaly ended up on a cliff. It took her a moment to relize that this place held her time last spent with Angel.
It was nearly dawn when she started down the cliff on her way to the cave well hidden in the side. Taking a seat on the floor, she gazed at the remaining night sky. She slowly lay down, using her bookbag as a pillow. She closed her eyes but quickly opened them when a tidle wave of Angel came to mind.
A growl from behind broke her thoughts. Buffy quickly grabbed a stake from her bag and turned to face her oppenate. To face Angel.
to be continued...