Disclaimer: All the character's belong to Joss, yadda yadda, mutant enemy. No hard feelings intended, so please don't sue me. I don't wanna live in a card board box for the rest of my life! This story takes place after Innocence, and Surprises, and the very sad Passion episode.!!! This is the first part, in a book of stories.

" It's ok Giles." Buffy whispered.
She held Giles not wanting to let go. She loved the man with all her heart. Not in a relationship way, but he was her watcher, and she cared deeply for him. she hated to see him like this.

" I only wish, that I could have killed him when I had the chance" she cried. " then maybe Jenny wouldn't be dead, oh God Giles I'm so sorry." Giles had loved Jenny so much, and Angelus had killed her. Buffy thought back to the night, when Giles went after Angelus, he almost died.

" I never want to lose you, Giles, ever" she murmured to him. Then she got up , she had to go to class, and there was no point in getting a detention. "I'll see you later Giles, you just hang in there."
Meanwhile in Angelus's layer.....

" I can't believe you actually got beat up by the slayer!" Spike laughed at Angelus. " Mr. macho got beat up by his ex girlfriend, what a wimp you are!

" Remember wheel man, in that chair you are defenseless. Who's to say I won't throw your worthless butt outta here, and watch you fry?. " Angel cast Spike a pissed off look.

" Hey man I was just joking. " Spike said acting all innocent. " Now you two boys stop arguing" Dru interrupted. "were supposed to be one big happy family" And with that she started dancing around with a doll, and like the weirdo she was said " Miss Edith, what do you think? she leaned forward, and whispered something to the doll and started laughing.

" Man I really screwed up her mind. " Angelus laughed to himself.

That Night...

Buff was making her usual rounds , when she saw Giles sitting by Miss Calender's grave. " Jenny, I never got a chance tell you how much I love you. I promise to do everything in my power to avenge your death." He whispered, as he laid a single red rose on her tombstone.

Buffy hid in the shadows, she didn't want her grief stricken watcher to know that she was there. When she turned to walk away, she heard a muffled yell. As Angel attacked her watcher, from behind. Buffy started running, but she was too late. he had Giles by the neck and was jsut about to bite him when Buffy screamed.

" Let him go Angel, or this will get ugly."

" And I'm gonna do this because?" Angel asked tauntingly.

" Take me instead" Buffy said, with tears rolling down her cheek.

" No!" Giles yelled. " Buffy get outta here.

Buffy went over to Angelus. : Let him go now, you have me" she said calmly. Angel grabbed her by the neck, and released his grip on Giles.

" Buffy?' Giles cried.

" Why the change in heart?" Angel asked her, what was her devious scheme now?

" My life's a hell, I'd rather die then live." she said depressed. Would he do it? Could he do it?

" Leave her alone!" Giles, yelled frantically trying to find a stake.

< So this is my end, she thought. To be killed by my only love.> Then Angel bared his fangs and sunk into her neck.

" Buffy Noooooo!!!!!!" GIles screeched helplessly.

Buffy mouth" I'm sorry" to him. The she gave into the darkness, and her whole body went numb.

This is my end she thought sarcastically. Then she blacked out.

Suddenly she woke up, She was on the ground, with Angel screaming in agony at her side.

" Giles?" she looked for him, but he was nowhere in sight. Angel was screaming, and throwing himself himself at the ground. He kept calling Buffy's name over and over again. Buffy, had a stake in hand ready to plunge into him, but when she heard him call her name, she dropped it and stared at him wide eyed.

He continued to fight himself, twisting , and punching. His two sides were fighting each other, struggling for control. Angel struggling, with Angelus trying to stop him. Angel managed to gain control for a few seconds. He screamed at Buffy to stake him, and to end his pain. he didn't want to hurt her or anyone else any longer. Buffy burst into tears, she couldn't do that to her only love, even if the chances of her ever getting Angel back were slim. she had to hold on to the slight chance that he would come back to her.

Suddenly the violent struggle ended, Buffy stared at the figure sprawled over the wet, green grass. He didn't move, but he couldn't be dead because there was no dust. Buffy bent down, and laid her hand across his back. She was still aware of the fact that this was probably Angelus.

Then she heard a low moan, coming from him. He was struggling to roll on to his back. Buffy helped him over.

" Buffy", he whispered. " why didn't you kill me when you had the chance?"

She ignored his question.

" Are you alright?" she questioned quickly. He sat up, and pushed himself to his feet.

" Yeah" he replied quietly.

" Good, Angel I....." she said, but suddenly burst into tears.

He put his arm around her, to comfort her. She remained there for a few seconds, but suddenly pulled back.

" Angel....I .... I... can't do this." she cried. She started to run away, she tripped but picked herself up again. She left Angel, there alone.

He collapsed to the ground, and started crying. He hated himself, he hated what he was. The one the one he loved with all his heart, was the one he had hurt the most.

Would she ever learn to trust him again?

He started of through the graveyard, into the darkness. His shadow disappeared into the mist, as his light footsteps became more distant.