Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They are the property
of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
Note: This is the first book in a trilogy called ³Lessons Learned² I
called it this because all the titles come from some of my favourite
quotes. This trilogy takes place sometime after Surprise/Innocence and
has Angel getting his soul back. But this is not the happy ending we
expected. Can Angel ever live with himself again? This first one is
called ³Of Milestones and Moments² and is taken from the following:
³Life is not a matter of milestones but
of moments.²
- Rose Kennedy
Dedication: This is dedicated to my sister Heather. I have absoloutly no idea what goes through her mind but I love her anyway.
Buffy Summers ran through the night. Her breath was ragged and her knees felt wobbly. Even with her speed he was catching up to her. She could see the Library building up ahead of her. If she could only make it. With a sudden burst of speed she dashed into the open doorway. Of course she didnıt close the door behind her. He was supposed to follow, the plan counted on it. She crouched down behind a bookcase and watched as he came in. She still had the urge to fling herself into his arms when she saw him. She had to remind herself that he wasnıt who he had been. Her body was tense with fear. She wasnıt scared of him. She was scared that something would go wrong. If they failed this last time she would gladly die by his hand. As she glanced around the room she could barely pick out the five others hidden amid the many bookshelves, waiting. He was in full view now and if he had looked down at that moment he would have noticed that he was standing in the middle of circle drawn hastily with chalk. He reached the middle and paused. Could he tell something was about to happen. The room was much too quiet. Even as she was thinking this Buffy was jumping out from her hiding place, cross in front of her, She didnıt have to turn her head to know that the others were doing the same. Angel winced as the burning pain hit him. He slumped to the floor, trying to shield himself. Giles tossed some holy water into the circle. Smoke hid the screaming vampire from their sight. Giles began to chant in Latin and Angelus began to howl in protest. Gilesı voice got louder and louder until suddenly, it stopped. The silence echoed eerily in the room. The smoke cleared gradually. No one said anything. No one moved. Buffy walked slowly over to where Angel lay. His eyes flickered open. He stared up at her. ³Angel?² she asked softly. He nodded, his eyes full of pain. ³Iım so sorry Buffy² he whispered. She nodded and helped him up.
As everyone else began to trudge home, Angel and Buffy walked through the cometary. They stopped beside a simple grave that read:
Jenny Calendar
May She
Rest In Peace
Angel stared. It shook Buffy to see the bleakness of his eyes, the lack of life. ³She didnıt deserve to die. None of them did. And you didnıt deserve to feel that much pain². Buffy shook her head ³It wasnıt you. You couldnıt have known what would happen.² Angel gazed at the name imprinted on the cold stone ³That wonıt bring her back²
Angel stayed in his apartment for a week and Buffy knew better than to disturb him. On Sunday night Angel came to her house while her Mom was away. ³Iım leaving² he said when she had invited him in. She said nothing, only looked away. He smiled sadly at her ³maybe just for a little while, maybe for forever² he sighed ³I canıt live here. Everyday something reminds me of the harm I did and the lives I ruined². Buffy turned to look out the window ³Iıll miss you² she said after a moment of silence. ³Iıll try to do this on my own but we both know Iım just stalling for time.² She smiled a smile that made Angelıs heart ache. ³No slayer ever makes it to thirty and I donıt know if I want those thirty years if youıre not living them with me² She left the room for a moment and returned with the cross that he had given her when they first met. ³Promise me² she said softly ³that Iıll see you once more before I die². Angel fingered the delicate cross ³How is it,² he asked ³that youıre so strong?². She didnıt say anything only hugged him and wished him luck. ³I wish I knew your secret² he added before he left. Only after he had faded into the darkness did Buffy answer his question. ³Savour the moments² she said to the empty room ³because life is over so soon².
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