This is the long one..it's a sequel to The Sighing Game, and I'm writing a sequel to this one too but it's not done yet.
DISTRIBUTION STATEMENT: Ask and I'll most likely say yes.
SPOILER WARNING: there are some spoilers for my story The Sighing Game since
this is a sequel. Also I've sort of departed from canon..this is two weeks
and two days after the Angel episode. Up until Angel it's canon...after
Angel it departs although the Master IS dead and Colin has taken over.
Confused? me too
RATING:PG-13 (maybe R in parts 6 and 10)
CONTENT WARNING:Buffy/Angel romance, a little cursing, kissing, VIOLENCE..and
talk of sex.
CLASSIFICATION:S/R
SUMMARY:This is a sequel to my previous story The Sighing Game. You don't
really have to read it to get this story. You just have to know that in it
Buffy and Angel decided that their love was too strong to be ignored.
Despite the difficulties, they would try to make it work...well this is the
difficulties and the making it work part.
If you want to read the Sighing Game you can e-mail me and I'll send it to
you. (Or you can look it up at Anya's Fanfic site or my fanfic site
(shameless plug) http://members.aol.com/ladyrhood/buffer.html)
The vampire rushed toward Buffy, mouth agape, fangs glinting in the moonlight. As it leapt through the air it growled mencingly. It knocked Buffy to the ground and pulled her head to the side exposing her neck for a bite. Buffy calmly tucked her legs up and kicked with all her strength sending the vampire flying backwards. Before the vampire had time to react, Buffy was on top of him. She pulled a stake from the small sheath strapped inside her sleeve and plunged it into his heart. Then she dusted off her hands and turned towards Giles, who was watching from behind a large memorial statue.
"That's four Giles. I think I've fulfilled my quota for the night" Buffy said picking up her bag of vampire slaying supplies. A girl should never leave home without a few stakes and some holy water.
"Right," said Giles. "Why are you in such a hurry?" Buffy smiled into the darkness. She was meeting Angel tonight. She wanted to sing it from the rooftops, but the sleeping residents of Sunnydale would most likely not appreciate a midnight serenade.
"I'm meeting someone at the Bronze," Buffy answered.
"Oh, is this another one of your dates?" asked Giles.
"Giles, I am not in the mood for another one of your..you are the Slayer, you can't have a life lectures."
"I..I suppose not," Giles stuttered, wondering how she had known he was planning on giving her that lecture. Not that it ever did any good.
"Besides, Angel knows all about me being the Slayer and he can take care of himself." She swung her purse full of vampire deterrents onto her shoulder and turned to walk away. Giles grabbed her arm and swung her around to face him.
"Angel?" he asked. "You're dating Angel?"
"Yeah, so?" Buffy asked belligerantly.
"SO!So? He's vampire!"
"Thanks for the newsflash, Giles. I can take care of myself too you know."
"Buffy, you can't become personally involved with a vampire. It's against all the rules. What if he loses control? Will you be able to kill him?" Giles was beginning to work himself into a frenzy and Buffy was getting angrier by the second.
"Giles, don't treat me like a little girl! I am in love. Do you even know what that feels like? Angel understands me and he loves me too." She jerked her arm out of his grasp. "I am going to meet him and there is nothing you can do to stop me." She walked away, refusing to look back.
"She's sixteen," muttered Giles. "She doesn't even know what love is."
"I do too," Buffy shouted resisting the urge to stick out her tongue. Giles sighed, sometimes that excellent Slayer hearing was a pain in the ass. Actually, sometimes the Slayer herself was a pain in the ass. Well there was nothing he could really do about it, besides give her another lecture tomorrow.
Buffy was determined not to let an old party pooper like Giles ruin her night. The farther she got from the graveyard the more her spirits rose. She was going to see him tonight. Laughter bubbled up inside her, and the world seemed perfect. Once she got to the Bronze, Buffy waited anxiously for Angel. It had been two days since that magical night on the hill when they had decided that love couldn't be denied. Thinking of that night still sent shivers up and down her spine. She closed her eyes letting herself remember the moment, the kisses. Her blissful thoughts were interrupted by a familiar voice.
"Hey Buffy, asleep on your feet?" the voice asked. It was Xander. Suddenly Buffy was glad that Angel wasn't here yet. She still felt a little guilty when Xander saw her with Angel. She didn't want to hurt him, but sometimes he was such a moron. Willow was right there pining away for him and he was too dense to notice her. Why couldn't he see that he would never have Buffy? Why couldn't he see that she loved Angel more than she could even understand? She opened her eyes to look directly into Xander's face.
"Not sleeping, I was just thinking."
"About what?" Buffy considered telling him the truth but she wasn't that cruel.
"About Willow..where is she?"
"Ahh the Willster. Don't know. Haven't seen her since I tried to cheat off her in bio." Buffy slapped Xander lightly.
"Bad Xander, bad. Did she let you?"
"This is Willow we're talking about. She does not cheat, ever, not even for me." They both looked up as Willow approached.
"Hi Will," Buffy greeted her friend. "We were just talking about you behind your back. Xander was saying the most terrible things." She smiled.
"Yes, I was" Xander admitted solemnly. "I was practicing for my career as a tabloid reporter."
"Your mother will be so proud" Willow said laughingly. "So are we going in?" Buffy shook her head.
"You two go on ahead, I'm waiting for someone."
"That someone wouldn't happen to be a particularly gorgeous vampire with a soul would he?" Willow asked teasingly. Buffy blushed a little, thankful for the dark lighting.
"Maybe," she finally answered. "I mean yes I'm meeting Angel here, or I'm supposed to; he's a little late."
"Maybe he stood you up," Xander suggested. Willow elbowed him hard in the ribs.
"He just probably got caught up in something and forgot the time. Anyway Xander and I are going to go in now. Aren't we Xander?" Xander didn't answer, so Willow grabbed him by the arm and dragged him away. Buffy watched them enter the Bronze. It was starting to get a little chilly. She huddled deeper in her leather jacket and wished she was inside too. What if he _had_ stood her up? They hadn't talked since the night on the hill. What if he had changed his mind about the whole thing and he just didn't want to tell her? What if...she quashed the thoughts. Buffy, she ordered herself, have a little faith. The guy was a couple minutes late and she had him practically skipping town. Sometimes too much imagination could be curse. She stood alone in the streetlight with her doubts. They crowded her mind, until she wanted to scream. That would definitely not be a good idea. Her reputation as a total weirdo did not need new fodder. She decided to give it five more minutes and then go in. He could always find her there if he ever came.
Five minutes came and went so she decided to go join her friends. As she turned towards the door, Angel appeared suddenly in front of her. She rushed to him,jumping into his arms. Their lips met in a passionate kiss. When they finally parted. Buffy pulled away from him. She was angry because he was late, she reminded herself. But just seeing his face was almost enough to send her flying into his arms again.
"You were late" she said accusingly.
"I know" he admitted.
"Why?" she asked.
"I had a little distraction to take care of. I was on my way over here when I was jumped by a couple of ugly monsters. So I had to take care of them." All Buffy's anger melted away in a rush of worry.
"Are you hurt?" she asked.
"Nothing permanent."
"Don't give me that macho crap. Are you hurt and how badly, Mr. Cryptic Man?" She stared into his eyes. "I care about you, ok? Did you kill them?"
"It's not bad really. They were pretty young and stupid. I killed them, it was messy though."
"Show me." Angel sighed as he stripped off his jacket. Buffy examined the bite and scratch marks on his neck and arms. She kissed the nasty scratch on his neck and smiled mischeiviously up at him. "Does that make it all better?"
"It's a start," he answered lifting her easily into the air until her eyes were level with his. She laughed as she wrapped her arms around his neck kissing his nose and mouth.
"So what do you want to do?" she asked. "Dancing, or something else. Since you're injured and all."
"How would you like to take a stroll in the park?"
"Just as long as it's not a stroll in the graveyard, I'm up for it. I only have two stakes on me so I'd rather not do any more heavy-duty slaying tonight." Angel nodded, in approval for her carrying stakes. Or maybe just agreeing that any more slaying tonight would be a pain and a half. "I'm gonna go in and tell Willow and Xander that I'm outta here. You wanna come."
"I don't think Xander would be too thrilled to see me."
"Xander? Xander loves you." Angel did not look fooled. "Well ok, so maybe he doesn't love you. But he wouldn't try to stake you or anything." she amended. Angel still looked a little skeptical. "Never mind, you stay here." She ran inside and said her good-byes. Then came running back to where Angel stood. "So where are we walking?" she asked.
"Right now we are walking along what is commonly know as a sidewalk" Angel answered.
"Oh, wow. Why don't they teach us useful stuff like that in school instead of all that stupid biology? But where is this sidewalk taking us?"
"You'll see." "Oh goodie, you've gone cryptic on me again. I thought we were passed that stage." Angel just smiled. Buffy couldn't help but smile back. Her insides felt all melty when he smiled at her. Angel reached out and took her hand. They walked slowly side by side staring at the stars and each other.
Finally they reached a small lake glittering with moonlight, like a dark jewel. It sat hidden in a small glade, surrounded by trees and the fresh smell of green grass.
"It's so beautiful," Buffy breathed, staring at the captured moonlight that lay on the lake's surface.
"Like you," Angel said quietly. He stared at her face as intently as she stared at the lake. "It's my special place,' he explained. "That sounds stupid. It's where I come when things get too hard. When I need to be alone." He paused then slowly added. "When the temptation becomes too great." Buffy looked into his eyes.
"The temptation to feed on a live human?" He nodded.
"You have no idea how hard it is to control. If I ever let down my guard. If I ever give in and let myself feed on a live human. I'm afraid I'll never be able to control it again. The urges would become too strong. When I'm in a crowd, I can feel the heat...of the blood, the life around me." He glanced at Buffy trying to judge her reaction. Would she recoil in horror? "I'm telling you this because I need you to know. I know I'm a danger to you, and I need you to realize what you're getting into."
Buffy smiled weakly but encouragingly. "It's better we talk about it. You feel so human, you look so human." Buffy shrugged. "It's easy to forget the vampire side of you." She nodded, trying to reassure herself. "It's better that we talk about it." But she wasan't sure she wanted to. It would be so easy to ignore his demon half. She looked up at his gorgeous face. The face of an Angel, it was too easy to forget that he was a vampire.
"Does it disgust you to hear about the bloodlust?" Angel asked uncertainly. Buffy thought about it for a moment.
"A little," she admitted. His face fell. She had hurt his feelings. Guilt filled her mind, but she had one more awful question she had to ask. She took a deep breath and asked. "Do you ever want to feed on me?" Angel looked away, staring at the water. He dropped his gaze to his hands and answered softly, refusing to meet her gaze.
"Sometimes." It was not the answer Buffy had wanted to hear. Angel glanced at her, trying to judge her reaction. He must've seen some of her doubts in her face for he quickly added. "I can control it."
"I know." Buffy answered. She softly stroked his face with the back of her hand. "I trust you." Angel trapped the hand in his own and kissed it lightly. "I love you." Buffy added softly. The light that blossomed in Angel's eyes was answer enough, he reached for her face and whispered into her ear.
"I love you too."
The moon began its descent into day and Angel walked Buffy home. They kissed under the light of the moon, their lips passionately declaring devotion. They promised to meet the next night and Buffy slipped inside. As she headed for the stairs she found her path blocked by the bathrobe clad form of her mother. Her mother's face was a study of displeasure. Her mouth pulled down in to a scowl, and her arms crossed angrily in front of her.
"Where have you been?" her mother asked.
"I was out," answered Buffy tiredly, in no mood for a fight.
"I have been worried sick. You have a curfew you know."
"Well I'm sorry. I don't have a watch. I lost track of time. It won't happen again." Buffy turned to climb up the stairs, but stopped when her mother's angry tirade began.
"Don't you DARE go upstairs, Buffy Summers. I am NOT through with you yet. You will turn and face me when I talk to you and you will show a little respect. I am sick and tired of dealing with your teenage angst. You are going to shape up or pay the price. And you are going to stop sneaking around behind my back." Buffy opened her mouth to protest but her mother cut her off. "I saw you with that boy, the one you said goes to the college. Angel. I saw you kiss him on the doorstep. What is wrong with you? He is WAY too old for you." Buffy briefly considered telling her mother exactly how much older Angel was but decided against that kamikazi plan.
"I am old enough to take care of myself, Mother. I will date whoever I want. Besides you don't even know Angel. He's a very sweet, kind person."
"You are not old enough to take care of yourself. As long as you live under my roof, you'll do as I say. And I forbid you to date that boy." The pair's voices were getting louder and louder as tempers flared.
"You can't stop me." screamed Buffy. "I love him and he loves me!"
"You are being childish . You don't even know what love is. You're too young to know."
"Why is everyone telling me that today? How do you know what I feel? You make me sick! Get out of my way. I'm going to my room." Buffy roughly pushed past her mother and entered her room, slamming the door behind her. She could hear her mother scream from behind the door.
"You are SO grounded young lady. You are to come home straight from school every day for a week. And no phone! No going out with your friends, and no Bronze!" Buffy threw a pillow as hard as she could against the wall, sending feathers flying. It just wasn't fair. She flung herself down on the bed, grown-ups don't understand anything. She hugged her stuffed teddy bear to her chest and wallowed for a while in self-pity. She had to spend all her time fighting the most horrible things the world could offer, then she had to go to school, try to act like a normal kid. It wan't fair. "Nobody understands me," she pouted. She almost let out a hysterical giggle thinking that if her mom got this mad because she thought that Angel waas a couple years older, just imagine what she would do if she found out Angel was a vampire. The giggle died on her lips and she began to sob. She hated fighting with her mom. Everyday it was a temptation to tell her mom all about being a slayer. She wanted to trust her mom with all her secrets. But that wouldn't be fair either. She knew her mom couldn't handle it, so she protected her as much as she could. Holding it all inside, rather than hurt her mom.
It was just so hard. Buffy lay on her bed, and finally fell into exhausted sleep on her tear-dampened pillow.
*****************
After Angel dropped Buffy off at her house, he trudged home. He knew that they had to talk about his vampire side. But it would be so easy to just try to ignore it. Of course he could never really forget it. Every second of every night it tormented him. But he would rather she not think about it. He would rather she could just pretend that she was dating a normal human. He shook his head angrily. That was no good either. They had to talk about it. She had to understand the danger that always prickled right beneath his skin.
But it had hurt to tell her those things tonight, to let her see the bloodlust. He had been so afraid when she mentioned lusting after her blood. So afraid that his answer would disgust her. But she hadn't turned away. He had seen the spark of doubt in her eyes, but she had swallowed it. She would stick with him through anything, he could see it in her eyes. Just knowing that she loved him sent him spinning. That she could accept him, care about him. It was unbelievable. It was amazing. It was what made his life worth living.
Angel reached his apartment and unlocked the door. Dawn was coming soon. Time to sleep. Not that he had a coffin or anything to get into. In fact he didn't even have to sleep during the day. Vampires didn't need much sleep at all actually. But sleeping was a great way to kill the boredom of being stuck inside all day. Reading was good too, but sleeping was best. The hours simply melted away when you slept. He slipped inside his aptment and froze. There was someone here. At least one vampire, maybe more. He could sense them. It had been awhile since any vamps had attacked him in his home. Actually since Darla, no one had entered the apartment. He wracked his brain. Darla was dead, so who could it be? Angel felt his face transform as his anger rose. A deep growl rumbled from his throat.
"You know what I hate?" he asked loudly. "When monsters invade my personal space; I REALLY hate that." Two vampires drifted from the shadows in answer to his voice. "Only two?" he asked. Keeping his back to the wall and a nonchalant grin on his face, Angel prepared himself for a fight.
"We did not come to kill you Angelus." said one of the vampires, a tall man with jet black hair curling down around his shoulders. He was muscular, not muscle-bound but powerful looking.
"This time," hissed the other vampire, moving in closer to Angel. The vampire was smaller, light brown hair cut short in a pixie cut. But the look in her eyes was anything but enchanting. Angel swallowed a gasp as he stared into eyes that were pure evil. She ran her hand down his cheek and he shuddered, pulling away from her. "The Annointed One wants us to give you a message," she said.
"What, my answering machine wasn't working?" Angel asked flippantly. His mind worked feverishly. He thought he could take the big guy, and normally the woman would have been a breeze. But her touch had scared him. It made his skin crawl with fear. She wasn't very impressive looking, but he could feel the power rolling off her. She could have rivaled the Master. He looked into her eyes, they were completely empty of emotion. Dead eyes. "Why are you taking orders from anyone?" he asked.
She hissed at him. It seemed to be a sore point. "I'll take orders for now. But things may change in the future." She stared at the tall man. "Give him the message" she ordered.
The tall man grabbed Angel's hair before he had a chance to react and banged his head against the wall. Stars exploded in Angel's vision but he had the prescence of mind to kick out with one leg while he jabbed the man as hard as he could in the throat. The man gasped, loosening his grip on Angel's hair. Angel's vision had begun to clear but he knew he would have a nasty headache all day. He was beginning to get severely pissed. He threw the man against the wall and was about to do the same to the smaller woman. Before he could throw her, she raised her hands and he felt himself frozen. "Enough!" she screamed. "Put me down." Angel obeyed. He had no choice, he had lost control of her body. "Forgive Daniel," she said nodding towards the man who was picking himself up off the floor. "This was not supposed to happen. I will give you the message and we will leave you in peace. The Annointed One says that your relationship with the Slayer is an abomination. You are forbidden to continue this relationship and in penance for this sin you must bring her dead body to the Annointed One within three days. If you fail, every vampire in this city will hunt you down until you have been annihalated."
With that the two vampires slipped away into the sewer system that ran beneath the apartment. Angel stared at the wall for a moment. Just what he needed, threats from his fellow vampires, ultimatums. This was just great, as if being in a relationship wasn't bad enough.
Buffy woke up to the blaring of her alarm. She groaned and hit the snooze button. When the alarm rang again five minutes later, she sat up in her bed. She had fallen asleep fully dressed. She struggled to remember last nights events as she stared at her wildly knotted hair in the mirror. It came back to her in a rush. Angel, the beautiful little lake, and a huge fight with her mom. She decided she would rather not have remembered the last part.
She dragged herself through the motions of getting ready for school and rode silently with her mom towards another exciting day at Sunnydale High. She was almost late for her first class so she didn't get to see Willow and Xander until they met in the library for their free third period.
"Hi Buffy," Willow chirped as Buffy entered the dark confines of the library. She motioned for Buffy to sit down next to her and began pumping her for details. "So? How was your date with Angel?" Buffy glanced round the library, but didn't see the menfolk anywhere. She sighed happily remembering the feel of his arms around her.
"It was so wonderful. He took me to his secret place and we sat and talked..and kissed. He told me that he loves me."
"It's so romantic," Willow sighed.
"Yeah, well it gets less romantic." Buffy said bitterly. "When I got home my mom had seen us kissing out on the porch and she totally wigged out. She thinks Angel's too old for me. So now I'm grounded."
"Parents just don't understand." said Willow.
'You know what my mom really won't understand is if she finds out what he is."
"How would she find out?"
"She won't if I can help it. But for now I have to sneak out to see Angel."
"What's this about sneaking?" Xander asked as he walked out of the stacks. "I can sneak."
"Nothing much," said Buffy. "I'm just going to have to sneak out to meet Angel tonight, that's all...it's a whole being grounded thing."
"You're seeing Angel again tonight?!" Xander demanded.
"Yeah, so?"
"It's nothing." Xander said. Then he corrected himself. "I mean just how close are you going to get to this guy?! Because soul or not, he's still a vampire."
"I know that Xander," Buffy said angrily.
"Hey, I'm just looking out for you," replied Xander. But everyone in the room knew that wasn't the whole truth. It was more jealousy than anything. Buffy glared at Xander and he hated himself a little for doing this but he couldn't stop. "Are you going to sleep with him?" he asked.
"Xander!" Willow exclaimed.
"That is SO none of your business," Buffy retorted angrily.
"Well, have you thought about it? He's an older man, that's what older men want. You already kissed a corpse. Would you have sex with one too?"
"SHUT UP, just shut up," Buffy yelled. "You don't know him. He's not like that at all." She picked up a book and threw it at Xander with all her strength. It flew just wide of his face. "You're supposed to be my friend," she hissed.
"God Xander, what's wrong with you?" asked Willow angrily.
"I'm sorry that I don't feel for you the way you feel for me," Buffy continued. "But don't take your jealousy out on me or Angel. If you can't handle it then you aren't really my friend and I don't want you around," she screamed. Xander took a step towards Buffy, who was shaking with anger. He reached out a hand to touch her but she pulled away.
"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I didn't mean it. I'm sorry," he whispered as he walked out of the library. Willow stood shocked, unable to believe that her two best friends had practically torn each other's heads off right in front of her. She walked over to Buffy and hugged her tightly as Buffy cried. At that moment Giles walked in.
"Wh..What's wrong with Xander?" he asked. He stared for a moment at Buffy sobbing in Willow's arms. "I take it there was a fight?"
"You could say that," answered Willow, "if you were really into understatement." Giles reached behind his desk and pulled out a box of tissues.
"I'm going to make some coffee," he said. "Does anyone want a cup?" Buffy shook her head while blowing her nose, and Willow didn't drink coffee. WIllow led Buffy over to chair and gave her a fresh Kleenex.
"I'm sorry Will, I usually don't fall apart like this."
"You haven't been getting enough sleep lately and Xander was being a total jerk. He's usully not like that," Willow answered.
"I know, I have to meet with Angel at night but I don't get to sleep during the day." She smiled weakly. "Just another benefit of dating a local vampire boy." She touched Willow's hand gently and looked into her friend's eyes. "Am I doing the right thing Willow? Everyone else seems to think I'm crazy for doing this." Willow squeezed Buffy's hand gently and smiled encouragingly.
"If Xander loved me, then nothing could keep me way from him. If he was a vampire I would still love him." Willow said. Buffy almost sighed with relief. At least one person understood how she felt. But poor Willow, it must be so hard for her to carry that secret.
"Willow, I think you should tell Xander how you feel." Buffy was beginning to shake off her sadness in her eagerness to help her friend. Willow shook her head firmly, negatively.
"After all this? Not a good idea. You think I want to screw up our friendships even more."
"One day?" Buffy asked.
"Maybe," answered Willow doubtfully. Buffy shook her head,grabbed Willow's hand and squeezed it encouragingly. Buffy knew that Willow was in pain too. She thanked her lucky stars that she and Angel were together. No matter how hard being together was, she knew that unrequited love would be worse. She couldn't imagine trying to live without Angel. They had tried to stay apart, but love was too strong. It drew them together, and neither of them could resist because being together felt so right. Soul mates, Buffy and Angel. Buffy sighed, she knew they were meant for each other. Poor Willow.
"Willow?" Buffy asked. "Have you ever thought that maybe you aren't meant for Xander? That maybe he's not the guy for you. Because there _are_ other guys out there." Willow shook her head slowly.
"It doesn't matter if Xander doesn't feel the same way I do. I'll love him until the end of time. If Angel wasn't in love with you would you just give up on him?"
"Touche" Buffy conceded. "Come on, we have to go to class. I don't think I can handle getting detention today." The girls walked toward class, talking of boys.
"Do they ever talk of anything else?" Giles wondered to himself as he watched them go.