Disclaimer: All characters except Josh belong to Joss and Co. Please don't sue.

This is NOT continuation of "Moving On" and it takes place five years after the gang graduates from high school.

Sunnydale,CA 2004

"Can you get the door?" Buffy asked her husband Josh from the kitchen where she was busy baking bread.

"Sure hon!" Josh replied and crossed the living room to answer the door. Little did he know what was standing on his porch. "I wonder what she'll do?" Angel asked himself after ringing the bell. "It's been so long and when we last saw each other I was taking Drusilla to Europe." he couldn't believe it had been only one month since his soul had been restored while in Europe. Drusilla had been killed and him captured by the Romani. This time instead of giving him a curse with a big flaw, they made him human again.

"Hello?" came the voice of a man he didn't know. Angel looked at the address on the house "34 Ash Lane". He had the right house.

"Um, I'm looking for a Buffy Summers. Does she live here?" he asked the stranger.

"Yeah, come on in." the man said moving aside. Angel entered the house and sat down in the chair the man offered.

"I'll go get her. Buffy! Someone is here to see you!" he called out. Angel nervously wiped his palms on his knees, wondering who this guy was in Buffy's house. Josh walked into the kitchen, "Who's out there Josh?" Buffy asked him wiping her hands on her apron.

"Some guy wanting to see you." he replied popping a grape into his mouth. "I'll wait in here and watch the bread for you okay." he tod her.

"Okay." she said leaning into give him a kiss.

"Hey! You're covered in flour!" he screeched. But he allowed her to kiss him. "Go on, you have company." he insisted. As Buffy walked out of the kitchen and down the hallway she wondered what guy would be there to see her. "XANDER!" she whispered to herself! "It has to be him." As she turned the corner, her breath caught in her throat and her heart stilled. Standing in her living room was her first love Angel!

Angel looked up at the gasp and saw his love standing there with her hand to her mouth.

"Hey Buffy." he managed to get out. Buffy just stared at him with a stunned expression on her face. She looked like she might pass out. After she was settled on the couch she spoke,

"Whaaat are yoou dddoing here?" she stammered. "You aandd Dru went to Europe!" Angel looked into her green eyes and looked down at the floor.

"Dru is dead and I ran in with the Romani and they cursed me again, but this time they didn't leave any room for error. I'm human Buffy, completely human." he explained.

"Angel! You're human!" she exclaimed! She threw her arms around him and sobbed into his shoulder.

"Looks like you've been busy!" he told her looking around her beautiful house.

"Yeah, well it's been an exciting five years." she told him.

"Do you live here with your friend that I met earlier?" he asked her. Buffy's smile froze on her face and she took Angel's hand. "Um, Angel, that was Josh and he's my husband." she whispered. Angel sat there completely dumbfounded.

"His love, his life was...married!"

Buffy held her breath waiting for Angel's reaction to her marriage. He knitted his brow and stared at his hands.

"Angel..." Buffy began.

"How long?" he interrupted her.

"You left Angel, you had no sou..." she started.

"HOW LONG?!" he asked her more forcefully now, cutting her off again. Now it was her turn to look down at her hands.

"Year and a half." she whispered. Angel couldn't believe his love belonged to someone else. She was unattainable now. He had hoped to make amends, sweep her away and live happily ever after, but things were different, she was different.

"At least you waited." he whispered dryly. Buffy felt a flame begin to boil inside of her.

"Waited?" she cried, "Angel, you had no soul because of me, you killed Ms. Calendar and the countless others because of me, you.. you fled from Sunnydale because of me!"

"Buffy, that wasn't me! You had to know I would come back for you! Deep inside you had to have believed it." he cried out in frustration.

"As the days, months, and years went on Angel, that hope, that wish died inside of my heart." she replied. He looked at her incredulously. He rose to leave.

"You know I won't give you up with out a fight." he said matter of factly.

"I knew you'd say that and I just wanted to tell you I am very happy without you. I can't live on 'What Might Have Been' and you shouldn't either." she told him opening the door for him to leave. He took one look at her before he went and her eyes wouldn't meet his gaze. Angel skulked out of the house and down the steps. Buffy slammed the door shut and didn't shed a tear. "That's that I guess." she told herself.

"So, was that an old friend from school this afternoon?" Josh asked his wife as they got ready for bed that evening. Buffy emerged from the bathroom in her long silk nightgown the color of the night sky with a hairbrush in hand.

"Yes he was an old friend." she said running the brush through her silky tresses.

"So what did you guys talk about? From what I heard it was getting into a heated debate in there." he told her wrapping his arms around her lean frame.

"Old times and old arguments. You know Josh the more things change the more they stay the same. The more people stay the same." she mused.

"Hmmmhmm." he sighed. "So, are we going to talk about what we have been discussing for about six months at this time in the day?" he asked her.

"I don't know if I'm ready to be a mother Josh. We're so young! I mean, I want to be a mother so bad I can taste it, but is now the right time?" she asked him turning to face him.

"You just tell me when you're ready and I'll do my part!" he joked. Buffy cracked a smile at his humor.

"I know that you'll just be heartbroken to have to help right?" she matched his wit with hers. They both burst out laughing.

"Oh I almost forgot!" she cried, "Mom called today." "What did you two talk about?" he asked her giving her a back rub.

"Ohhh, that feels so good! Umm, she talked about what else, when she's going to get a grand kid!" she chuckled. He began to untangle the knots in her back with the tips of his fingers, "Woman after my own heart!" he exclaimed.

"You are just a sex crazed little fiend now aren't you?!" she asked him.

"Hey, what can I say, I'm married to the American dream and want the whole Norman Rockwell painting in my house." he whispered.

"In time okay, in time." she whispered giving him a kiss. With that said they got under the covers, turned out the light, and said good night. As she was snuggling into Josh's shoulder she felt someone looking at her and turned her head to look out the window. A definite shadow was outside.

"Why can't I just have a normal life?" she asked herself turning back around.

The next morning, after Josh had left for work Buffy was picking up their room. "I really need to get this man trained!" she exclaimed picking up some of Josh's dirty clothes and putting them in the hamper. Just then the telephone rang, "Hello?" Buffy asked into the phone, "Hi, Buffy?" came the voice of a friend.

"WILLOW!!!" Buffy screeched into the phone. "How was Australia?" Buffy's auburn haired friend had married Oz and had his two children. His band was in Australia touring.

"It was great! Buffy, I have so much to tell you!" she exclaimed.

"Are you home?" Buffy asked.

"We got in last night. Oz has Sammantha and Jamie. They went to the zoo.

Can I come over?" she asked.

"Yeah, that would be great!" Buffy remarked. "See ya in a while okay?"

"Okay!" Willow hung up the phone.

"I wonder what she has to tell me?" Buffy thought to herself. Buffy had finished her bedroom and was making some tea for her and Willow when the doorbell rang.

"Will! Come on in!" she yelled from the kitchen. She heard the door open and close, but the figure in her kitchen doorway wasn't Willow.

"Hey Wil--" Buffy said starting to turn around, "ANGEL!! God you freaked me out! What in the hell are you doing here?" she asked him defensively.

"Hello Buffy." he replied his voice steady. "How've you been?" he asked her.

"I'd be better if you wouldn't scare me like that!" she exclaimed smiling. "Have a seat." He took the chair she offered him. She sat down across the table from him.

"Buffy, I'm gonna cut to the chase. You remember what I said yesterday don't you?" he asked her.

"Yes Angel I do, and I've given it some serious thought." she replied.

"And??" he prompted her.

"And my decision is still the same. Angel, I don't want to hurt you, but you must understand that you weren't the man I loved for so many years. Time has changed both of us." she whispered.

"There's something in your voice that is making me think you don't believe what you just said." he replied.

"I'm so happy with Josh. We want to have kids someday Angel, build a better life. I wish you could be happy too. And..and the only way you can be is to forget you ever loved me. And that I ever loved you." she whispered as the tears began to cascade down her face. She raised her face to meet his gaze and felt all the old feelings come rushing back.

He looked into her tear stained face and couldn't surpress his feelings for her anymore.

"Buffy, I...I've missed you."he confessed. The tears came faster now. "I want you back. We can be happy together Buffy, I know we can. Please, just give me another chance. Give us another chance." Buffy looked at Angel's face, the same face she looked in to when she was sixteen and again on her seventeenth birthday. For a second she wished she could go back and be sixteen again and love him the way she did. The tears kept coming and Buffy was powerless to stop them.

"A..Angel. I...I just..I just can't. I'll always remember you. But a lot of time has passed.I'm not the same girl I once was. You aren't the same either. Please, move on. I'll be fine, really I will. You'll see that this is for the best." she cried.

"But Buf--" Angel began begging her.

"But nothing Angel, please leave." when she saw his hesitation she got up and moved to the corner of the kitchen, "GO!!" she yelled at him.

"Buffy, I want you to know something." he whispered rising and standing near the back door.

"What's that?" she asked him with her back still toward him. "I love you and I'll love you until the day I die." he whispered. She started sobbing uncontrolably now slumping to the floor. She heard the back door open and close. She stood up and looked out the window. He walked out of her back yard, never looking back.

"I love you too Angel. I'll love you until the day I die." she whispered into the empty kitchen.

"Buffy?" Willow asked as she walked hesitantly into her bestfriend's house. She heard sobbing coming from the kitchen. Racing down the hall and around the corner she saw her friend sitting at her kitchen table crying her eyes out. "Oh, Buffy, what is the matter?" Buffy looked up and wiped her eyes.

"Will, you, you cut your hair!" she exclaimed. Willow nodded and ran her hands over her sleek bob. "You've been gone for what, five months and you never mentioned this!" Buffy scolded giving her a big hug. "Willow," Buffy began looking down at her, "You're pregnant again aren't you!?" Willow just beamed and grinned. "How long? Sit, sit!" Buffy badgered her.

"Um, about four and a half months. But what about you, why were you crying? It wasn't Josh was it?" she asked in a concerned voice.

"No, Josh is fine, Will, it was Angel!" she spilled.

"ANGEL?!!?! What is he doing back here and is he still a bad Grrr..?" she asked nearly falling off her chair. Buffy chuckled remembering how Willow had referred to Angel as Grrr...when they first found out he was a vampire.

"No, he's not even a vampire. He's completely human and Dru is dead. Long Story, I'll fill ya in later." she confessed.

"Ohhh." willow mused.

************************************************************************

Josh looked at his watch, "9:54 pm, Buffy is gonna kill me!" Eventhough he'd called his wife and told her he'd be late, he still knew her. His eyes only left the road for a second, he never even saw it until it was too late. "OHHH SHIT!!!!" he screamed as his car collided head-on with a truck.

"Hello?" Buffy mumbled into the phone, "Yes this is Mrs. Josh Jamison, who is this?" she asked sitting up in bed and glancing at the clock, "11:25pm" she groaned. "What, excuse me? What hospital? I'm on my way!" Buffy screamed into the receiver. Scrambling out of bed and throwing her robe on over her nightgown she grabbed the keys to her Dodge Intrepid and raced out of the house. Josh had had an accident.

Buffy ran into St. Christine's Hospital and flagged down a nurse, "Josh Jamison! Where the hell is he?" she wailed.

"Honey, calm down! Are you his wife?" she asked her.

"Yes, where is he? Is he alright?" she cried.

"Your husband was in a head-on collision with a drug addict.

The other driver did not survive and your husband is in extremely critical condition." she filled her in. Buffy couldn't believe her ears. "Can I see him?" she whispered.

"He's in ICU right now, but I can take you to see him." she answered. She started down the hallway and Buffy followed closely behind with her arms wrapped around herself.

"Here he is, honey. You can't go in, but you can stand out here and look." she whispered and walked over and talked to the nurse on duty. Now Buffy couldn't believe her eyes, her lively young husband was on a hospital bed with all these tubes hooked up to him. His head was bandaged and he had a nasty cut on his arm. "Oh Josh..." she whispered. Buffy walked over to the two nurses,

"I want to see the doctor now!" she demanded. The nurse on duty nodded and walked over to a phone,

"Dr. Underhill, please come to ICU #7, Dr. Underhill." she paged him. A few moments later a woman in a white coat walked into the corridor.

"Yes?" she asked the nurse. The nurse pointed over towards Buffy and handed the doctor a chart. She took a look at the chart and walked over to Buffy. "Mrs. Jamison?" she asked Buffy.

"Is my husband going to die?" she asked Dr. Underhill softly. The older woman looked down at the chart,

"Mrs. Jamis--" she began but Buffy cut her off.

"Buffy please" she told her.

"Okay, Buffy, your husband has sustained some severe head trauma and many broken bones, his fifth rib punctured his left lung."

"Is he going to live?" Buffy asked again. The doctor shook her head,

"I'm sorry, it doesn't look good, we've done all we can for him. It's only a matter of hours now." Buffy completely lost it right there.

She slumped down against the wall sobbing, "NOOO!! NOOO!!! JOSH, NOOO!" The doctor wrapped her arms around Buffy and waved the nurse over. They moved her to the couch.

"I suggest that you call all of his family and get them in if they can, and call some of your friends to get them to come down here and support you, okay?" Dr. Underhill whispered. Buffy nodded and wiped her eyes and headed off to the pay phone.

"Hello?" came the voice of groggy Willow.

"Willow?" Buffy cried into the phone. Willow sat upright,

"Buffy! What is it???" she whispered. She waited while she heard Buffy start to lose it on the other end,

"J--Josh had a car accident and he's not going to make it." she wailed. "I'm at St. Christine's Hospital and--" Willow cut her off, "I'm on my way!" she yelled into the phone.

Willow rushed into the hospital in a wild panic. Spotting the front desk nurse she ran to her, "Josh Jamison?" she asked out of breath.

"Down the hall ICU." she replied. Not skipping a beat she continued down the hall. Her heart stopped when she saw Buffy sitting on the floor with her back against the wall sobbing into her arms that rested on top of her knees.

"Buffy?" she began kneeling down to her, "Honey, are you okay?" Buffy threw her arms around her friend dragging her to the ground.

"Will--no hope, no hope," she just repeated into Willow's shoulder. Willow felt her own eyes fill with tears as she clutched her bestfriend.

"Will, Buff!" came a familiar male voice. Willow twisted her neck, "Xander!" she cried. He ran to them and threw his arms around them. Willow just sobbed into Buffy's blonde hair as she let Xander comfort them. After what seemed like an eternity Buffy pulled away.

"Xander, Willow, I am so glad you came." she sniffed. Willow was the first to speak, "Buffy, we had to come, we love you and Josh. What can we do and Xander can you not pick up a phone?" she asked, feining hurt. Buffy managed a small laugh at her friends. Xander lived in the next town over, Graham, and always called and visited.

"What can I say, Cordelia keeps my busy." he replied with a reference to his wife.

"Buffy, did you call Giles?" Willow asked.

"Yeah, he's in Houston for that librarians meeting, but he was hopping a plane for here ASAP." she replied. Xander steered Buffy toward the couch.

"How is he?" Buffy looked at her hands.

"No change, internal bleeding can't be stopped, he's in a coma. Definitely not the man I married." Willow saw an opportunity for something good and took it,

"Remember your wedding day? How nervous you were when you were getting dressed?" Buffy smiled and let her thoughts drift back to that day.

"We don't have that much time Buffy!" willow exclaimed helping her friend into her gown. "In about thrity minutes you're gonna be Mrs. Josh Jamison!"

"I can't believe it! Buffy Jamison, that sounds so good!" Buffy squealed. They nestled the veil in her pile of blonde curls and started laughing. buffy felt tears spring into her eyes as she looked at herself in the mirror. The dress was long and full. It was a simple lined dress with an off the shoulder collar. She looked at Willow in her maid-of-honor dress and grinned. The married Mrs. Oz Thomas was wearing a beautiful champagne dress. Cordelia Harris wore the same dress. Buffy had been the maid-of-honor at Willow's wedding and Willow and her had both been bridesmaids in Cordelia's. Buffy's mother walked into the bride's room.

"Oh honey, you look incredible!" she exclaimed, her eyes gleaming.

"Mom..." Buffy started embracing her, "I love you so much!"

"I love you honey and I know that you and Josh will be so happy together."

"I hope so mom, I do hope so!" Buffy whispered. "Can I have a second everyone?" They all nodded and silently left the room. A few minutes later she heards a knock come from the bridegroom's room.

"Buffy?" cam Josh's voice. "Can I come in?" She walked across the room and opened the door.

"Yeah, they're all in the hall." she whispered. He walked in and swept her up in a big hug.

"If I didn't see you I thought I'd go crazy!" he exclaimed in a hushed voice. "You look fantastic!"

"You look so handsome Josh, I can't believe you're actually marrying me!" she countered.

"You can't believe? I can't believe you are marrying me!" he replied. "I love you Buffy Summers."

"I love you Josh Jamison." she whispered into his ear. "Never leave me okay?" He was fighting back the tears at the sound of worry in her voice.

"I'll never leave you, never." he promised.

"He said he'd never leave me." she whispered back in the present. She got up and walked to the window. "He vowed it, and here we are, he's gonna leave me Willow." she cried. Willow began to cry as Xander swept Buffy up into a hug. Knowing what she had to do she walked down to the phone. Slipping a quarter in she dialed a number that would change their lives.

"Angel?" she asked into the receiver. "This is Willow, there is something you need to know."

Angel was lying on his bed trying to get through another sleepless night.

"Buffy." his mind moaned gently. He couldn't seem to get her out of his head. Every part of him hurt. The only thing that could make the pain go away would be her soothing touch. The telephone jangled loudly beside him,

"Hello?" he mumbled into the receiver.

"Angel?" came a hopeful voice. "This is Willow."

"Willow? How did you get this number?" he asked surprised.

"You gave it to me before you changed. In case of emergency." she replied.

"Uh, Angel, I um, have some bad news concerning Buffy."

"What!? Is she hurt?" he asked, jumping up.

"No, no, not her. Josh was in a car crash. He's not going to pull through and I--" she broke off, obviously distraught.

"You what?" he pressed.

"I though that you'd want to know. Buffy told me earlier today that you were restored and had come to see her. If anyone would make her feel better, it would be you." she finished. "We're at St. Christine's, ICU #7."

"I'll be there shortly." he hung up.

* * *

"Okay, what did I just do?" Willow asked herself while hanging up the phone. "Opened a BIG can of worms is what I did." She walked back to Buffy, thankful that she was curled up on a couch with a steaming cup of coffee in her hands. Her eyes were red and puffy, but the tears had stopped for now.

"Will, where did you go?" she asked. Willow fidgeted with her wedding band before answering,

"Buffy, I called Angel." Buffy looked right down into her coffee. "I was just trying to help. He's on his way." she continued.

"It's okay Will," Buffy said, grabbing her friend's hand, "He's a friend and I need as many as I can get right now." Buffy put down her coffee and stretched out on the couch. She put her head in Willow's lap and Willow started stroking her hair. "It's all so hard to believe Will. I mean, one minute we're talking about babies and the next he's barely holding on to life." Buffy said.

"Hmmm." Willow mused still stroking Buffy's hair. "I didn't ever expect to live this long myself though. I was surprised to hear from Giles that the day I turned twenty-one I was done slaying." she went on. "I was the first Slayer to make it to adulthood and to be succeeded. I got the feeling that I was getting a chance to have a real life. The new Slayer is really good. For some reason I don't see Gina going further than me. It's bad to think about, but the passion I had when I fought I don't see in her."

"I do see what you mean. It will be too bad. Gina is a really good person." Willow said. She could feel the swells begin in Buffy's throat.

"I never imagined Josh to die like this. I always thought it would be at a vampire's hand. Another loved one doomed because of my so-called life." she began to cry.

"Shhh baby. Shhh. Just rest Buffy. Try to sleep." Willow whispered soothingly. As soon as Buffy had fallen asleep, Willow slid out from being Buffy's pillow. She didn't wake, and Willow padded down the hall to where Xander was sitting.

"Hey." she said. Xander looked up at Willow and then stood up.

"Hey. How is she?" he asked, his voice full of worry.

"Asleep. Finally." she replied. "Coffee?" she asked. "I'll go with you." he offered. As they started down the hall, she was aware of Xander holding her hand. She gave him an affectionate squeeze as they entered the cafeteria.

"How's Cordy?" she asked.

"Pregnant and driving me crazy!" he moaned. "Xander get me this, Xander get me that. Don't even think about touching me!"

"Hey, being pregnant isn't fun!" she laughed patting her tummy, "Believe me, I know!"

"Again!" he cried out. She nodded as he enveloped her into a hug, "That's just great Will! I'm so happy for you." he whispered.

"Thanks. Oz is hoping it's a boy. The girls keep him busy." she said sitting down at a table.

"Three kids. One. One is my limit!" he proclaimed.

"Trust me, Cordy will second that! For a while. Then you'll both be ready for another." she replied knowingly. "Xander. When I was gone earlier, I called Angel." she confessed.

"What?!" he exclaimed. "He's human now and he's talked to Buffy. She's cool with it, but she's not ready for another relationship which is exactly what Angel wants. Her husband isn't even gone yet. I do think that Angel will put their friendship first though." she answered.

"I hope you're right Willow. For Buffy's sake." he replied.

"Me too Xander." she whispered.

Angel walked into the hospital in a hurry. Stopping only to look at the directory he continued down the corridor to ICU # 7. Rounding the corner his eyes came upon a still figure. "Buffy." he thought. Walking over by the couch he knelt down beside her. Despite the blotchy eyes and pale skin she was still beautiful. As he brushed a stray hair off her forehead she began to stir. He jerked his hand away and sucked in his breath. Her eyes opened and he felt his heart reach out to her.

"Angel?" she whispered sitting up. "Willow told me you were coming." All he could do was nod yes.

"How is he?" he finally asked. Her eyes filled with tears and before he knew what happened she was in his arms sobbing.

"W-Why do t-these things always hap-happen to me?" she wailed. "First you and now him. What did I ever do to deserve this?!"

"Shhh Buffy. It'll be alright." he whispered. She pulled away and walked to a window staring hard. Angel went over to her and followed her gaze.

Josh was lying on a bed barely holding on to life.

"They won't even let me go hold him." Buffy went on. "I've heard that talking to the comatose is good for them, but they won't let me do it."

Angel got an idea.

"Where is Willow?" he asked.

"Probably in the cafeteria with Xander." Buffy answered automatically, not removing her eyes from Josh. Angel turned and ran down the hallway to the cafeteria.

"They sure have gotten big Will!" Xander exclaimed holding a picture.

"I know! Can you believe Sammantha is going to be 3 next month!?" Willow mused.

"Willow! Xander!" came a familiar voice. Willow and Xander both whipped around.

"Angel!" Willow breathed getting up and going to him. He pulled her into a warm embrace. "It's so good to see you!"

"Good to see you too Will." he whispered. Xander came up behind Willow.

"Angel." he stated offering him his hand. Willow pulled away and the two men shook hands.

"Have you seen Buffy?" Willow blurted. Angel's expression turned grim.

"I have Willow and I have an idea that might make her feel better." he answered.

"But I'm going to need both of your help." he finished. Sitting down Angel confessed his plan to the former Slayerettes. Willow's eyes got bright and Xander's forehead relaxed. "This is going to work." Xander offered. "Like a charm."