Disclaimer: All the characters except for the various vampires with bit parts belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc. I own the plot, the crystals, and nothing else. Don't sue me.

Would it ever be the same? Eating freely, being myself? Spike shook his head. Angelus was right! Spike knew. He just wouldn't admit it.

He shook his head, leaving those unwelcome thoughts behind. Dru would help- she always did. He wheeled over to where she was. "Everything all right, baby?"

An evil smile spread across Dru's face. "Angel is here, Spike. It makes me so happy!" Rolling over, she got off the bed and began dancing about the room. How he wished he could join her! But he couldn't- he'd never be able to again.

"He frees us up, pet. Him being with that bloody slayer- that always blocked us from doing what we wanted. Now she suffers - she misses him." Spike smiled. "We can bring her down. All of us."

Laughing, Drusilla walked over to Spike. In his bleak life, she was the only thing that made sense. She smiled. "Spike- where is Angel?"

"I don't know, Dru! I don't worry about him, like a bloody pet dog!"

Backing away, Dru got an upset look on her face.

"I'm sorry, pet," he said, going over to her." I didn't mean anything. Here, how about I go and find him for you?"

Dru smiled. "If you can, then everything will be wonderful. Find him, Spike. Find him for Princess."

------------------

"Where is he?" Was he gone?

Spike went over to another one, Thomas. He knew everyone- if anyone knew where Angel was, Thomas would.

"Thomas. Where. Is. Angel?" Each word was its own sentence.

Stammering, Thomas said, "He took off about an hour ago. I don't think you could catch him though, Spike. You being how you are and all, well-"

Thomas didn't get to finish. He grabbed his shirt collar and said, "If you ever say anything like that again, I swear, I'll kill you myself!" Spike let him go and said "Now, Thomas- which way did he go?"

"I don't know."

"Maybe I should repeat myself. Which way did he go, Thomas?"

"Right."

Spike went after him, following the scent of blood. It felt so good! He hadn't been outside in a long time.

After a long while, he got to a cross street. he was about to go across over the curb when he heard a somewhat familiar voice.

"Excuse me, can I help you?"

Spike turned around. "Well well well. Where might you be heading, slayer?"

"Spike?" There was a note of disbelief in her voice. he knew why. He had always been strong, a fighter to the end, when she beat him- every time, come to this slayer.

"Spike? Is that really you? You look....awful!"

"Why don't you stake me right now and get it over with? If you're going to, that is. Or do you not believe in a fight with unfair advantages?" He somehow knew that was true as well as he knew my own name. Without waiting for an answer, he continued, "You don't, do you? That's why you won't stake me now."

That was when she shocked him. "Spike," she said, "I hate you. I think you're the scum of the earth. But I respect you, and I have the decency to call you your name- should I say William?"

Spike's hands tightened around the wheels of my chair- he didn't even see her. All he saw was red. "All right- Buffy." His voice was even; controlled. "Don't call me William."

Smiling slightly, she seemed to quote from a book- "William the Bloody. Earned his nickname- that'd be Spike, wouldn't it- by torturing his victims with railroad spikes."

He looked at her, and said, "You're asking for it, slayer-girl."

"Asking for what? You to walk again? You to kill me?" Her voice suddenly grew quiet. "Well, maybe I am asking for that first part." Pausing, she said, "Even when I thought you were dead, I hoped you were alive. I love to fight you, Spike. You're the best! The best," she repeated.

"Remember? We were both fighting other people, then we ended up fighting each other. Both of us said we'd rather be fighting the other! I don't know about you, but I meant it." Taking a breath, she said, "You were great. Graceful - smooth - clean - clear. Now?" With a sigh, she said, "You're paralyzed, Spike. You know it and I know it. I'll miss you. I want you dead, Spike, but not after one last fight. If you go out, I want it to be with a bang."

She let that sink in, then continued. "Dru-she's the strong one now. Angel- he's strong, Spike. When he was good- even then- he was strong." Sighing, she said, "These are probably the first words I've had with you that don't involve one or both of us getting kicked in the gut. I want to keep it that way." She walked away.

Part 2

Spike entered a warehouse, and called, "Angelus."

"What do you want?"

"Why have you been away? Dru wants you home. I suggest you getting there."

"I had to think. And I made up some damn good slurs for you while thinking.."

I looked him in the eye. "Be careful with the jokes. I still control the Judai Crystal. I still control the Taker. I still control the Soul-Seeker."

"Shouldn't Drusilla?"

"I love the girl, Angel, but I'm not blind. She's bloody mad! Out of her gourd. She's less crazy than when she was sick, but crazy is crazy! If she had the Judai Crystal at her command, I don't even want to know what she could do with it."

Angelus gave a slight grin. "The Judai Crystal?"

"A new relic- we got it before me. Years ago, when that mystical Dracula guy was around, he crafted crystals of the finest Austrian blue crystal for his women- his wife, his mistress, and his maid, and he enchanted them. He told them to wear the crystals forever. Rumor had it that crystals had killed the last slayer.

"Well, this slayer, an Angelina girl, slayed Dracula and his women. The first crystal, worn by the wife, dissolved into dust in her palm. The second, worn by the mistress, melted away her hand and replaced it. The third crystal, though, worn by the maid, was not enchanted the same way as the other two. It was special- Dracula loved the maid better than his wife or his mistress. He enchanted it with a special magic that let the maid see other people and places, and summon any immortals she wished, like the Tiraken bounty hunters.

"Angelina threw the crystal into the sea- she knew the enchantment was bad, at least as far as she considered.. Two years ago, the Master heard about the Judai and wanted it. Seven men went to Transylvania and got Judai. The Mater used it, but not often. When I came, the Judai's magic was all but gone!"

Angel stood back. "What about Angelina?"

"She died in a fight with the Master of her time. Why?"

"Because rumors, when I was first changed, told of a female vampire named Angelina who was a very temperamental girl. It said she killed anyone who got in her way, and she wore a blue crystal around her neck. When she wanted to kill you, if she didn't eat you, she'd press the crystal on your chest. You'd melt and turn into blue crystal. Like her hand."

Part 3

"Angel's fine, Dru. I have to go to the Judai crystal now, but I'll be right back." Spike went back to the chamber where he kept Judai. Leaning over it, he muttered, "Let this work." Lifting Judai, he called for Shanna. When she came to him, Spike pressed the crystal to her chest, concentrating on its killing power. She screamed, then melted and turned to blue crystal. He called to a girl who knew jewelry. "Have this made into a necklace, bracelet, and earrings for Dru. I want them soon."

-----------------

The next night, he awoke, and got out of bed. When he ended up on the floor, he remembered his problem and crawled over to my wheelchair.

Spike went into the room with Judai, the Soul-Seeker, and the taker. How little he had told Angelus! Didn't he know that the Soul-Seeker and the taker were the other two crystals? The Soul-Seeker had been made to dissolve when needed, but also to seek out vulnerable and anguished souls. The taker was a brutal killer.

Lifting the Soul-Seeker, Spike said, "Oh Soul-Seeker, seek a soul that will be helped by me." On the top of the Soul-Seeker, a wavy picture appeared. It was of a medium-tall, thin redhead. Not very pretty- looked like Agatha, an old flame, before he fell in love with Drusilla. I sighed. She seemed sad- no, melancholy. She was laughing and joking with a tall blonde girl that looked like the slayer, a tall brown-haired guy, and a tall, beautiful brunette. There! She was the source of carrot-top's anguish.

Angel walked in. "What're you doing?" "Seeking a victim."

"Which one?"

"Carrot-top."

"Wait a minute- that looks like Willow Rosenburg! She has a boyfriend, Oz Jackson, but she still loves Xander, the guy. The blonde- that's Buffy. And you see that tall, beautiful brunette talking with them? That's Cordelia Chase."

"Who are they?" "Xander and Willow are Buffy's best friends. Cordelia is Xander's girlfriend."

Spike shook my head. "Well, Willow is my next target. How about you, Angel? How'd you like to start that torture?"

Angel licked his teeth. "I can already taste it."

-----------------

The next night, Angel went out to deal with Willow. Spike and Dru had set up a diversion, just enough vampires to get everyone at the school worrying and reading up.

Nervous, Spike wheeled over to the Judai Crystal- the vision crystal. This is what he saw:

Angel snuck into the hall. "Giles?" Willow said nervously. "I heard something like somebody moving through."

"Yes," Xander said, "And I saw some little pigs flying. You're just nervous, Wil."

"Probably just the janitor," Giles said. "But in any case, why not investigate, Willow?"

"Yeah, OK," Willow said. She walked into the hall. Angel stood behind a pillar, then leapt out.

"Willow. Hello." Next thing, carrot-top had her head yanked to one side, her hair out of the way. "I'm very hungry." Leaning over........

"WILLOW! NO!" Buffy ran for her, and knocked Angel away. "Don't even think about it, baby." She rushed Willow into the library.

"Damn!" Spike threw the crystal aside and wheeled away.

He was there to greet Angel on his return. "How could you let that puny female get the best of you?" he cried. "You had Willow! Had her. And you let Buffy flick you away like a fly! You useless excuse for a vampire! I'll give you one more chance. One. At Willow. But you louse this up- don't even THINK about another chance."

"Spike, you don't tell me what to do- I tell you."

"Angelus, maybe you're forgetting something. I. Am. In. Charge! Which is more than you are! So, in conclusion get the hell outta here!"

Angel turned away, and was gone. Suddenly angrier than he'd ever been, Spike gripped the Soul-Seeker and said the chant. Another girl- why always girls?

This one was a tall blonde that looked like the slayer. No, wait a minute- he wouldn't kill this one. She'd make a wonderful vampiress.

Turning to the Sunnydale High yearbook Angel had obtained for him, Spike turned to the junior section and flipped through the pages. There! Amy Demarcas. According to Judai, he could really use this one.

"Dru! C'mere."

Walking over, she said, "Yes, Spike?" "Dru, I need you to see this girl- this one here." he showed her, on the Judai. "I can use her and if I can't, you can have an all-you-can-eat on her pretty little neck."

Looking at her, Drusilla began to shake, and collapsed. "Spike, she's powerful. She's too strong- she scares me."

Spike wheeled over to her and asked, "What is she, Dru? A Tambien Worrin? A werewolf? A zombie?"

"A witch, Spike. A witch! She knows Diana and Hecate. She can help us."

He smiled. "Theresa! Tyris! Josh!" Three vampires came to him. Spike gestured to Amy Demarcas on Judai. "Bring her to me. Oh, and Tyris? Don't eat her."

Part 4

In about twenty minutes, an angry spitting girl was dragged in by Theresa, Tyris and Josh. "What the hell is going on here?" she sputtered. "Where am I? And dammit, who the hell are you?"

Spike smiled. "Hello, Amy."

"Are you a-a-a vampire?"

"Come to think of it, yeah. And how about you?"

"Please, please, please, please don't eat me! I'll do anything, just don't eat me!"

"Hmm, yes, mm-hmm. I think a little witchcraft is in order. A little revenge, perhaps? But first, a test. Elinore!" A tall female ran up. "Turn her to a-" He stopped. "Dru, would you like a pet rat?"

"Oh, yes, company for Miss Edith."

"Amy. Make Elinore a large rat. A nice meal for Dru, say?"

Amy looked shaken as she nodded. Then, her eyes reddened, and her hands shaped a ball of light before as she said, in a deep, angry voice, "Goddess Hecate, to you I pray. Make this demonic one rise to glory forever!" Then she threw the ball at Elinore, who screamed, and shrunk.

When the change was complete, Dru ran over and said, "Relax, Elinore. This won't hurt a bit." As she sank her fangs into Elinore's neck, she smiled.

"Good, good- can you do, say a mind-take over?"

Amy grimaced. "Yes."

"Allie!" Turning to Amy, I said, "Amy, use her."

Amy grimaced. "Athena, Goddess of Wisdom, I beg you, give your spirit of knowledge to me!" A grayish light gleamed, for an instant, on her face, and then was gone.

Turning to Allie, she began to chant in another language. "Ama habaya, cogruu atinova! Matua obliterius, mackateru! Esberu loclin serrova, madina antred!" As she said the last word, she threw up her hands. Suddenly, she began to claw at her head until blood poured from it. As the liquid dropped to the floor, several vampires bent to drink. Amy didn't even see, just screamed and ripped at her head with her long nails. She finally collapsed, sobbing.

She rose, and, tears pouring from her eyes, and blood likewise from her head, said in a dignified voice, "Let me go. I see that I am no use to you. Please." Her voice took on an underlying pleading tone. "Please."

Spike looked at her, and said, "Send her out. She is of no use to me."

Amy ran out. Likewise, he wheeled to Judai. Watching, it played like a movie.

Amy ran to the school, where Buffy and her friends would be. Throwing open the door, she ran inside, to the library. "Help me. Please, help me."

Buffy and Willow ran to her, and Xander, Cordelia and Giles each went to get bandages and towels.

"Amy, what happened?" Willow said. "How did you know we were here?"

Amy sobbed, "Buff, I know. I know you're the slayer, I know the history of the vampires, I know everything!" Gasping, she said, "Spike had me brought to his place. He wanted to change me, but first I performed some small-time magic- I turned this vampire, Elinore, into an rat. Then he told me to do a mind-takeover. I got the magic, and went into this other vampire, Allie's, mind. I was ripping at my head- the pain was unbearable until I broke the tie. I knew so much so fast! Buffy, I can tell you anything about vampires. Anything!"

Smiling, she said, "I guess when the demonize, they get all the vampire information downloaded?" "Yes. What do you want to know?"

Buffy sighed. "Tell me about Spike."

Amy took a breath, and began to tell my life. "Spike was a guy named William Harris. He was a British baron. He, well- he was not exactly Mr. Nice Guy. He was actually a murderer. He earned his nickname by torturing his victims with railroad spikes.

"When he was about 23, he became sick. He knew he was going to die, so he went to vampires and told them to change him. He said he would be able to get them anything- he knew all the ins and outs of all the palaces. They changed him- well, Angel did. He was Angel's' charge then. Angel taught him everything he knows.

"When Angel changed Spike, he found a girlfriend, a lover and, to some degree, a sister in Drusilla. They were like a family. Then, an old gypsy curse gave Angel a soul.

"See, Drusilla was a gypsy. A civilized one, but no less a gypsy of the Calderash people. Gypsies take their curses very seriously. It took five years to make the one giving Angel a soul! He was a very brutal vampire- very. The people had to make the curse perfect.

"Anyway, when Angel became good, Spike and Drusilla moved around the world- Berlin, Bern, London, you name it. Spike killed a whole lot of slayers.

"Spike and Dru came to America about a year ago, to live on the Hellmouth and overthrow the Master. You did that, so they set their sights on killing the Anointed One, which they did pronto, and killing you. Buffy, they want you dead." Pausing, she said, "Do you hate anybody? Or, have you ever truly hated someone?"

Buffy thought. "The Master."

"You wanted him dead in a can't-eat-can't-sleep way, right? That's how Spike is about you. Angel wants you insane. He drove Drusilla insane- I expect he told you?"

Spike know it would be boring from them on, just facts. He broke his hold on Judai and turned away.

Back at the library

Buffy tended Amy's cuts, and said, "Amy, I need you to think. Try to remember- who does Spike hate?

Without hesitating, Amy said, "Angel. Angel took Spike's girl, Drusilla. Now Spike hates Angel."

Buffy went white as a sheet. "Are you saying the only way to make Spike happy is to kill Angel, or at least make him fall out of love with Drusilla?" Amy nodded. "Yeah. But Buffy, fill me in- why do we want to make Spike happy?"

Buffy shook her head. "Being a slayer, you get some special abilities- one of them is a mild psychic and telekinetic ability. I accidentally found out that Spike will kill us if we don't do something when I accidentally read your mind."

Amy gasped. "You - you -," she sputtered.

Buffy shook her head. She gently used one of her few abilities to put a mental weight on Amy's mind, and relax her.

After a few moment's Amy was calm, and began to speak. "OK. I'll tell you what you want to know. Yes, Spike will kill us. He hates you so much, Buffy. He hates Angel. His plans are, unless you do something to appease him, to kill you. You need to kill Angel. You need to put aside your love and remember- Angel is a demon now. It is because of him that you, me, Willow, Xander, Oz, Cordelia, and Giles- it is because of him that we will all die! You need to kill Angel."

Buffy nodded. She'd known she'd have to kill Angel- she'd just hoped it wouldn't have to happen so fast.

Part 5

The next night

Buffy's house

It's all lies. My life is all lies! Buffy thought as she climbed out her window. I just hope that Willow and Xander are there waiting so I don't have to have another lie to my credit.

Shaking her head, Buffy dismissed that train of thought. She'd cross that bridge when she came to it. Still trying to rid herself of all these tiresome thoughts, Buffy went to Sunnydale High. Luckily, her two best friends were waiting for her, along with Giles, Cordelia and Oz.

"Please, Buffy, be careful," he said. "Angel is a very powerful, very vicious, very brutal vampire. Also, the fact that you loved him-"

"Relax, Giles, everything is under control," Buffy said. "Xander, Willow, Cordie and Oz. I want you all to stay here."

Oz shook his head. "No. I don't even know you that well, and even I know that having you dead would be a very serious blow to the planet. Now, does that tell you something?" Xander held Cordelia close. "Buffy, I'm coming. So's Cordelia.'

Cordelia gave him a horrified look, then said, "Oh, I guess he's right, Buffy. I mean, if you die, then so does Neiman Marcus, and without that, well.......let's just say I'm coming."

Buffy knew Cordelia was covering up her true feelings, but she didn't care. That only left Willow. "Will?"

"Hey, if Cordelia is in, I think I can manage to make an appearance."

Buffy just smiled.

-------------------

Twenty minutes later, Buffy was in front of the abandoned factory where Spike, Drusilla, Angel and their minions lived. Turning to her friends, Buffy said, "Listen, I want you only for backup. If I yell any one of your names, come in with crosses, holy water, garlic, the works. And bring a few stakes."

She then turned and entered the factory. Deciding that her friends should be there for whatever was going to happen, she hustled them in and positioned them in various concealed places around the room. She then moved forward.

"Hello? Angel?" Suddenly, a creaking of wheels made her do an about-face. "Not quite, slayer, but this is what you're going to get."

"Where's Angel?"

"Oh, far from here Far."

Buffy sighed. This was going to be more trouble than it was worth!

"Spike, what do you want? Besides Angel eliminated, that is."

"You gone, with him."

Spike couldn't believe he was saying those words!

"Yeah, that's it."

Buffy shook hr head. "Well, more like you dead, Spike, my friend." She lunged in for the dusting, but stopped at the sound of Spike's voice saying, "Wait. You wouldn't kill the daddy of your best friend, would you?"

Part 6

Buffy was halted mid-stance, her hand posed in mid-air. Her stake clattered to the floor. "What the hell do you mean?"

"A certain one-night stand with a certain Mariah Javetson."

Buffy moved in closer to Spike, her stake having been retrieved. "Spike, explain. Now."

Spike took a deep breath and made himself comfortable. "Approximately 18 years ago, I met a beautiful young woman at a New York City nightclub. She took me to her house, and gave me one of the best nights of my life. I was so taken with her that I decided not to kill her- just yet. But when we finished, she told me that she thought I should go. Well, I'm no fool.

"Coulda fooled me," Oz muttered.

Spike gave Oz a look, and continued. "I left! I didn't want to arouse suspicion. But even after I left, I couldn't forget her. I had a friend watch her. I found out she was pregnant, and nine months later, she had a baby boy. She took my name, Harris, so it wouldn't seem that she'd had a baby out of wedlock. That was when I lost track of her.

"When I came to Sunnydale, I immediately realized that my son was here. I never got a chance to confront him, however."

Xander had been standing stock-still during all this, his face unreadable. Now it was quite obvious that he was angry- very angry. Lunging forward, he snatched the stake out of Buffy's hand and was only stopped from killing Spike by Cordelia reaching forward and pulling him back. "Xander!" she yelled. "Calm the hell down!"

"No, Cordie," Xander said. Turning, to Spike, he said, "Do you mean to tell me I was born out of-of-of wedlock?" He couldn't barely say the word! Spike smiled evilly. "Yes, Xan, I do believe that's what I'm saying."

Xander sat down on a crate, a stricken expression on his face. "My mom- she always told me my dad died before I was born. Now I see she's right. He died long before I was born."

Cordelia embraced him. "Xan, it's OK. He's just doing this to hurt you!"

Xander looked up. "No, Cordie, he's not. I can tell."

Willow ran over and hugged him tightly. "Xander, please."

Buffy, meanwhile, was moving in for the kill. "Spike, if you have the indecency to do this, then I see no reason to keep you alive."

"Yes you do, Slayer," Spike said. "You do."

"Oh? And what is that?"

"I'm not quite sure," Spike said, laughing. "But you're not going to kill me."

Buffy sighed. He was right! "Spike, just tell me where Angel is."

"Why? You can't kill him."

"I don't love what he is, Spike. I love what he used to be. I know there's no way to redo the curse, so it's better for him to die now."

Spike nodded abruptly. "He's not in Sunndydale. I can't tell you where he is, but when he comes, you'll know." And with that, he was gone.

----------------------

Xander stormed into his home. "Mom? Get in here."

His mother walked in, cleaning her glasses on her shirt. "What?"

"Mom, you have a secret. I was born out of wedlock."

All the color drained from Mariah Harris's face. She sat heavily on the couch. "I swear, Xander, I was going to tell you."

"When? On your deathbed?"

Mariah shook her head, and began to tell Xander the same story he'd heard from Spike. ".........and I was estranged from my family, so of course there was no one to tell you the truth."

Xander's eyes met his mother's. "Mom, why didn't you tell me?"

"I knew you wouldn't be able to handle it, Xander. I love you,. If William was around, no doubt he'd love you too! Please. You have no idea how hard that was for me."

"I have some idea. Please, mom! This is......I can't.......this is torture! I thought I'd had a chance at a father who would love me, take care of me, but no, all I have is a man who you met one night at a bar!!"

Mariah buried her face in her hands. Her son's words were like whips. Each made her hurt more. She began to sob. "Xander, please! I can't believe you would be so cruel."

"ME?!?" Xander couldn't believe what Mariah was saying. "Me, being cruel?!? You're the one who's lied to me for 18 years! You're the one who told me my father had died in a plane crash! You're the one who never told me I was a product of a one-night stand with a man you barely knew!"

Mariah looked up, her face tear-straked. "I lied to protect you, Xander. I lied to protect the only person who matters to me......I lied for love."

"Yeah?" Xander asked. "Well, the truth is a hell of a lot more loving." With that, he got up and stormed out of the house.

-----------------------

He walked to the factory. It was like trying to move lead- each step was harder than the one before. He was determined, though, to confront his 'father'.

Entering the favory, he found Spike sitting in the middle of the room. "Well, Xander. I knew you'd come back. What have you got to say to dear old dad?" "Go to hell."

"With pleasure, my dear boy, with pleasure!" a laughing Spike exclaimed.

Xander swroe. "Then go to heaven."

Spike feighned utter astonishment. "Xander, you break my bloody heart! Go to heaven? How could you?"

Xander muttered, "Great. I not only have a vampire father, but a witty vampire father!" To Spike, he said, "Why the hell did you have to enter my life? Did you hunt all over the Earth, looking for your son, just so you could torture him?? Just so you could ruin his damn life?!?!?!?!" Xander was yelling by then, and didn't care who heard him. "That's what you're doing, Spike.Ruining my life." He laughed bitterly. "You know? I still remeber when I found out Buffy was the Slayer. I said, 'Yesterday it was, 'Oh no, pop quiz'! Today it's, 'rain of toad'?'I really thought that was awful. Now it's, 'Yesterday it was, 'Oh no, rain of toad'! Today it's, 'My dad's a vampire?'" He looked away. It was too hard to look Spike in the eyes. He thought, whenever he saw those icy blue eyes, that bleached blode hair, That's where I got my sense of humor. That's where I got my brown hai. That's where I got my.....It didn't end there, though. Everything in him, he thought, a bit shakily, he could connect to Spike.

The same was happening to Spike. He'd thought that seeing his son, and vamping him, would be fun, but he was swept with a flood of emotions. Looking at Xander, he'd think, That's what I made....that's what I made?!?!? That girl-crazy Slayer's whelp who hates the very core of mt being, the very essence of myself......that's my son?!? I've waited eighteen years to see this boy! A day hadn't passed in Spike's life when he hadn't wondered about his son. A day hadn't passed when he hadn't worried if the boy was still alive. He'd planned to turn him into a vampire, but wasn't a fool. Anyone who knew about the Slayer could not, uinder any circumstances, be vamped. It was a very odd happening, but one Watcher of many years ago had been proficient in the Balck Arts and gypsy magics. He'd been able to create a curse that was the bane of vampires. Of course, the smart ones, like Angel and Spike, and the healthy ones, like Angel, always found ways to get around the rule. But Spike couldn't- not today.