Disclaimer: As you know, the characters of this story are not mine, belonging to Joss Whedon and related parties. I have borrowed them for this little experiment, and will return them as soon as I am done. If you haven't read "When Slayers Meet", you might want to. It sets the stage for the interactions in the story. But don't feel obligated. You can probably come up with a reasonable story of your own to account for the beginning point.
At the Bronze, on a Monday evening. A full week had passed since Buffy and Angel had defeated the Slayer/vampire. Willow and Xander sat at a table, talking. Xander had told Willow about what he thought were Buffy's changing feelings for him, Willow thought it was all in his imagination. She had seen no difference in the way Buffy was treating him, except she was a little more reserved around him.
"I don't know what to do." Xander said. "She says she has feelings for me, but says she wants things to be the same between us for now."
Willow was not happy to hear this. "Buffy actually said she has feelings for you?"
"Well, on our walk, she indicated that her feelings for me have changed." Xander had mentioned the walk he and Buffy took together from the park, but had not mentioned this.
"What does `indicated' mean?"
"What does `indicated' mean?"
"I asked her if her feelings for me had changed, and she nodded yes. The same happened today. I wanted to be sure, so I asked her what she meant--if she had no feelings for me before Prom night. She said `yes'. Then I asked her if she has feelings for me now. She did the same thing, closed her eyes and nodded."
Willow was upset, but controlled herself. "Did you ask if she would join us tonight?"
"Yeah. But she said she couldn't, she had something else to do. I guess she is hunting."
A moment of silence followed. Xander looked around the Bronze, Willow just looked at the table. Could he be reading her right?
"I don't know what to do. She barely even talks to me. How am I supposed to compete with Angel when she won't give me a chance."
Willow did not answer. Then Xander saw Buffy, sitting alone at a table across the room.
"Oh no," he said. "She's here."
"Where?" Willow asked.
"There," he said, pointing. "She lied to me, told me she was hunting."
"Did she actually say that?"
Xander thought a minute. "No," he confessed. "But she said she couldn't come with us. She said she had something else to do. Why would she be here unless...she's here to meet him."
His voice was getting louder. Willow tried to calm him down.
"Xander, you don't know that."
"I can't take this anymore," he said as he stood up. "This has got to end, one way or the other."
"Xander, I think you should leave her alone. If she wanted to see you, she would have said so."
"I can't take this anymore," he said walking toward Buffy.
"Xander, don't," Willow yelled after him. She did not follow, he did not turn back.
"Buffy," he said as he reached her table.
"Xander. Why are you here?" she asked. She did not appear happy to see him. If anything, she looked somewhat apprehensive.
"I thought you couldn't come tonight. Why are YOU here?"
"Xander, please. You shouldn't be here."
"Why? Is he coming?"
"Yes, HE is coming. And his name is Angel. Why can't you ever say it?"
"I can't take this anymore. You say you have feelings for me, but you never want to see me. What am I supposed to do?"
"Do you think this is easy for me?" she countered. "You've done so much for me, and I may have feelings for you. But I told you, I have to work things out with Angel first. I asked you for some time, you've got to give it to me."
"Give you time to be with him? Why?"
At this moment Angel appeared. "Is he bothering you?" he asked Buffy.
"What's it to you?" Xander said to him, glaring. "This has to end."
"And how do you propose to end it?" Angel asked, glaring back at him.
"I know what I'd like to do..." Xander shouted back.
"Stop it, both of you!" Buffy interrupted. She paused, and then said, looking at Xander "I'm going to the bathroom, and when I get back, I expect you to be back with Willow." She left.
Both Xander and Angel were somewhat embarrassed at their confrontation.
"This has to end. I can't take it anymore," Xander said without looking at Angel.
"Do you think this is easy for me?" Angel retorted. "I still can't bear to be near her, but I can't bear not to give her what she wants...even if it means I have to be around her."
"What about me? I helped her too, but she still ignores me."
"Everything is about you, isn't it." Angel said. "What about her? Can't you see this is killing her?"
"This has to end." was all Xander could say.
"We have to let her take it at her own pace. We owe her that much--both of us."
Xander did not reply, but left the table and the Bronze. Buffy was waiting in line outside the door of the restroom and saw him leave. Willow saw him leave, pulled out what she thought was enough money to cover her bill, placed it on the table, and left, following him.
Angel also followed them, a minute or two later. Buffy, still in line, saw Angel leave and was concerned, having seen the way Xander and he had fought. She went outside to try to find them.
As soon as she left the Bronze, Willow ran up to her. She was petrified with fear. "Buffy, Xander needs help--now." She ran off, not waiting for a response. Buffy followed. After running down a street, Willow turned into an alley. Buffy saw Xander laying on the ground, not moving. She realized he had been mugged, and beaten. Then she saw the muggers. They were about to be attacked by vampires. He Slayer instincts immediately kicked in. She ran quickly past Willow, who was running toward Xander, jumped past one of the muggers, and caught one of the vampires with a kick. The mugger started to run. Buffy turned toward the other vampire, who was moving toward other mugger. She was grabbed from behind by the first vampire, but managed to throw him off of her. She decided she had better concentrate on him. The other vampire had just grabbed the mugger when Angel appeared. He immediately pushed a stake into the vampire from behind. The vampire turned to dust, covering the mugger. Angel then turned towards Buffy and the mugger ran away, without dusting himself off.
"Buffy, I think he's unconscious!" Willow yelled.
Buffy still had her hands full with the vampire. "Call an ambulance," she yelled, silently cursing herself for not even having a stake. She decided not to take anything related to slaying when she was to meet Angel that evening. Now she had to figure out a way to get rid of the vampires.
Then she noticed Angel. "Have you got something I can use?" she asked.
Angel broke a branch from a nearby tree creating a 8 or 10 inch stake. He then managed to circle behind the vampire, and push the stake through its back while its attention was focused on Buffy.
"You really should keep your supplies handy," he said to her.
"I hadn't planned on using a stake when we were to meet tonight." she answered, grinning. The smile quickly faded as she remembered Xander.
"What have they done, and how could I have let them get away" she complained to herself.
In the hospital room--several hours later. Angel, Willow and Buffy were sitting, looking at Xander. All of them found it difficult to see him like this--injured, unconscious. The police had gotten their report and left. The doctors had stabilized him, and said they now must just wait. Xander's parents had come, his father had gone home to try to get some rest. His mother had left to get some coffee. This was the first chance they had to talk among themselves, but no one felt like talking.
Buffy noticed that Angel seemed as upset as the others, he looked at Xander with a pained look.
"I never thanked him," he replied.
"What?" asked Willow. "I didn't think you two got along. Why would you want to thank him."
Angel looked at her. "We were underground, looking for Buffy. I found her in the pool of water. I pulled her out. I would have done anything to help her. She means everything to me. I would have given anything for her. But I couldn't give her what she needed. I couldn't give her breath. He could, and did. I never thanked him for that."
Buffy listened to what he said, her eyes closed. The emotions of the last few hours finally got the best of her. "I'm going to find whoever did this, and I'm going to kill them," she said.
The others were shocked at her words. "You saved their lives," Willow finally pointed out.
"My mistake," she uttered softly.
"Are you coming to the hospital with me now, Buffy?" Willow asked.
"Not just yet," Buffy answered. "I need to do something first. I'll be there in an hour or so."
Willow left. Buffy went to the library.
"Buffy," Giles looked up at her kindly. He knew she had been through a lot. "Any word on Xander?"
"Willow called between every class," Buffy replied. "No change yet."
"I'll visit tonight," Giles said, making a mental note.
"Giles, how do I hunt a human?"
Giles was surprised. "You don't. The police do."
"I can't let them get away with this."
Giles didn't like her spending her energy on this. "They probably aren't even in town anymore. Do you think they'd stay here after what they saw? The police can track them down as well as anyone."
Buffy was silent. Then a thought occurred to her. :"Is that why the crime rate is so low here--except for the grizzly murders and missing people, of course."
"Probably," Giles replied. The pettier criminals do like to work at night, in secluded areas. They won't last long in this town if they do things like that."
"Maybe my Slaying is not such a service after all. Maybe the crime rate would be even lower if I didn't..."
"Don't forget the grizzly murders," Giles interrupted. "Lets not lose perspective."
"Oh yeah," Buffy said, then was lost in her thoughts again.
She spoke again after a moment. "Giles, I've blown it big time again. I `m still hurting Xander, and I don't know what to do."
"I warned you about having a social life as a Slayer."
"I don't think this has anything to do with being a Slayer," Buffy replied. "It has to do with triangles."
"What? Geometry?"
"No," she replied, amused. "Xander, Angel and me. A triangle I've created. And even if I wanted to cut out one of them I couldn't bear to do it."
"Even if?"
"Yeah. I don't know what to do."
"Aren't you forgetting Willow," Giles added.
"Yeah. I guess it's a square or a rectangle or something, with the lines all messed up."
"Not exactly my kind of geometry. Perhaps your mother could help"
"Oh yeah," Buffy said. "I could say `Well, mom, I'm in love with this boy, who happens to be a vampire, and did I ever tell you that I'm a Vampire Slayer, but this boy is a good vampire and...'"
"Ok, I get your point."
Buffy was silent again, but only for a moment. "I suppose I should go to the hospital now." As she rose to leave, the mention of her mom brought out a question. "Why haven't you been to my house lately?"
"What?"
"I think she misses you..." Buffy said, grinning again.
"I told you, we only talked about you. Besides, you--Triangle Girl--want to give me advice about my social life?"
"You should come by and check her out." Buffy said as she walked out the door.
"Are you a librarian? Is she a book?" Giles managed to blurt out as Buffy left.
Buffy did not go straight home from the hospital. It was after midnight, but she went to the alley, walking and looking where they had found Xander the night before..
"Looking for something?" she heard in a familiar voice.
"Angel." she said, turning around to face him.
"Why are you here? Do you really think they'll come back?"
"No," Buffy replied. "I was just thinking on my way home, and somehow I ended up here. I feel so helpless, so useless." She was silent for a moment, then looked at him. "Why are you here?"
"Maybe I've been following you again."
"I hope so," said Buffy, forcing a smile. "I really miss that."
Angel looked at her seriously. "You really feel for him, don't you?"
Buffy couldn't believe what she had just heard. First Willow's lecture and now this. Could Angel have really said that?
"What do you mean?" she asked after a moment.
Angel looked at her, surprised. "I mean you feel bad for him, getting beat up, ending up in the hospital and all. Or are there other feelings there?"
Buffy looked down, thinking to herself "Oh great. Now I've tipped him off."
"Buffy, is there something I should know?"
"No." Buffy replied, trying to salvage something of this increasingly fragile relationship. "I just don't know what to do."
"Xander's in love with you. You know that."
"Yes."
"And you? Have you any feelings for him?"
"Angel, he saved my life."
"I know. I was there." Angel said with a pained look on his face. "Can you imagine yourself with him, having a family, making a life?"
Buffy though for a minute. The thought had actually crossed her mind since prom night. And it always brought the same reaction from her. "No. I thought maybe my feelings for him have changed, but I just don't think so."
"And your feelings for me?" Angel asked.
Buffy was surprised, but pleased. He had never mentioned that before. She always assumed he had just known. "They haven't changed, unless they're getting stronger. Don't you know that?"
"Can you imagine yourself with me, making a family, making a life?"
"Angel, have you thought of that?"
"Buffy you're a Slayer. I don't even know if a Slayer can do that. I'm not sure a slayer lives long eno..." He stopped, catching himself.
"Angel, what do you mean?"
Angel did not answer. Buffy was getting frustrated. "Angel, what are you saying."
"Buffy, you know I have feelings for you. but when its all said and done, I'm a vampire and you're a Slayer. I don't know if we can get past that."
"Angel, please. We can do this. We just have to work it out. We need to talk when there's no vampire trying to kill us or Xander trying to interfere."
"I just want you to be happy, to have what you want," he said.
"I walked away from you once, left you standing in the Bronze. And then it seemed forever until I saw you again. I don't want to feel like that again. What I want is a relationship with you, no matter what else gets in the way."
Angel looked at her. "What will you do about him?"
"I don't know what to do. I want to tell him, but I would feel so ungrateful. I don't want to hurt him."
"What you are doing now is hurting him."
"Did he tell you that?"
"He didn't have to. I can see it. Can't you?"
Buffy felt like a creep again. "I've got to talk to him, but I don't want to hurt him even more."
"I don't think there's an even more." Angel said. "You should respect him enough to tell him the truth."
Buffy was lost in her thoughts again. Angel was right.
"Come on." Angel said. "Its late, and I wouldn't want you to get grounded again..."
"Its after midnight on a school night," Buffy said. "If mom's awake, its done."
Wednesday, Buffy has just entered school grounds. Willow comes running up to her excitedly.
"He woke up last night!" she said.
"Really?" Buffy was relieved. "Is he OK."
"They think he will be, but they're going to keep him there for a couple of days to make sure. I'm going to tell Giles, then I'm going to the hospital. Will you come with me?"
"I don't know, Willow, I hate to miss class."
Willow gave her a little hug, and smiled even bigger. "Now I know that you're happy too. You're joking already." She took off towards the library.
Buffy followed her. "I wasn't joking. Its almost finals. I hate to miss any class."
That evening, Buffy was talking to Xander. Xander's parents had left him in the care of his friends for the first time since he woke up. Willow had been there very late the night before and was tired. Buffy had told Willow that she wanted to talk to Xander alone, so Willow had left earlier, glad to get some rest, knowing she would hear all about their conversation from him.
"Xander," Buffy began, sitting close to him, "we need to talk."
"Oh," Xander said, nervously. "This is either going to be a really good talk, or a really bad one. Why now, when I can barely move?"
"So you can't hit me." Buffy said.
"Its the really bad one, hunh?"
"Xander, I really appreciate what you've done for me, especially on Prom night. And I am so sorry if I've given you the wrong impression, but I think that all I feel for you is a deep sense of gratitude...."
Xander and Buffy were sitting quietly in his room when Angel walked in.
Angel nodded towards the door and Buffy followed him outside the room.
"He looks kind of dejected to have been with you," Angel said.
"I don't think he cared for what I had to say," Buffy replied. "Did you want to talk to him alone now?"
"I guess. Did you see his face when I walked in? How can I get him to hear what I have to say?"
"Call him by his name."
"Xander?"
"Yeah," Buffy said. "You guys don't call each other by name. It'll please him."
Angel thought for a moment, Buffy interrupted.
"Angel," Buffy said, "now that Xander's awake, and this is almost behind us, I'd like to meet somewhere to talk."
"We talked last night, and walked."
"We talked about Xander. And you were uncomfortable for the whole talk and walk."
"Its still hard for me."
"But I'm so glad you're trying. I so need to be with you." Buffy said. "Can we try again for tomorrow night, at the Bronze."
"Sure." Angel said, then added "Will he be there?" nodding towards Xander's' door.
"No," Buffy laughed. "They're going to keep him here for at least a couple of more days."
They returned to Xander.
"I have to go now," said Buffy. "Angel will stay with you until your mom comes back."
"You're leaving me alone with a vampire?" Xander asked. "A vampire that doesn't like me?"
"Yes," she replied. "And you've never been in better hands."
After she left, Xander stared nervously at Angel. "How does my neck look?" he asked.
Angel smiled, and it wasn't even forced. "Xander, I need to tell you something," he began. "I need to thank you..."
Willow came into Xander's room Thursday morning.
"Willow," Xander said, smiling. "Skipping class for me again?"
"Xander, I'm here on official business. I'm in charge of catching you up on all the school you've missed."
"I've missed before, and no one has ever tried to catch me up."
"Xander, do you want to be a Junior next year or not?"
Willow was grinning. Then she asked "Did Buffy talk to you last night?"
"Yeah. I guess I'm back where I started. She said her feelings were really just gratitude, and nothing else."
"Well," Willow said, "I think that's an improvement." She did not say if it was an improvement for him or for her. "And I think she really respects you now."
"Yeah. She and Angel. He talked with me last night too. Respect Boy--thet's me. And do you have something you want to talk to me about?"
Willow was almost tempted to say something she had always wanted to, but, as she always had before, decided not to. "No," she said, opening her bag and getting a school book out of it. "Let's get started."
"What? You mean that study thing wasn't a joke?"
Buffy entered the library during a free period. Giles greeted her from the table.
"Buffy. I'm glad to see you. What can I do for you." "Giles, I need to ask you something..."
"Buffy, if this is about your mom..."
Buffy laughed as she sat down. "No, I've given up on that. You were right. My social life is such a mess, I'm not going to mess with yours, or mom's."
"I'm free!" Giles joked. "And the triangle?
"Gone. I talked to Xander. He wasn't happy, but at least we can move on."
"And Angel?"
"I don't know. I know what I feel, and I think I know what he feels, but he still seems to keep his distance. But we're supposed to meet tonight. I guess we'll move forward from there."
They sat in silence for a moment. Then Giles asked "What was your question then?"
Buffy's face became serious. "Giles, what's the average life span for a Slayer?"
"Why do you ask that?" Giles asked, looking equally serious.
"Sid, the dummy, got me to thinking about it. He said he lived longer than most demon hunters, or Slayers. And Angel said something last night. And when I fought the Slayer/vampire last week, you had me really think about the dreams I had."
"The dreams of the Slayers' last hunt." Giles remembered.
"Yeah. And none of the Slayers I dreamt about were old, or gray or wrinkled."
"All your Slayer dreams have been about them dying. That must be a terrible thing to see over and over."
"It is."
"How many did you dream about?" he asked
"Ten or fifteen."
"I'm surprised you never mentioned it to me."
"I though it was normal. Anyway, I think I mentally blocked it out, until you forced me to remember. And then last night, Angel said something about a Slayer not living long enough."
"Long enough to what?"
"He didn't finish and wouldn't tell me. Giles, don't Slayers live long enough to have families?"
"Of course they do, but..."
"But what?"
Giles did not answer.
"What? Something doesn't work normally in a Slayer so she can't have children? Or she can, but won't because she knows she could die anytime, leaving the children motherless? What?"
Giles still did not answer.
Buffy looked down. "Do all Slayers' die at the hands of vampires? Is there just a point where they're not strong enough, or fast enough anymore? Do all die that way?"
"No, some are..." Giles caught himself.
"Some are what," she asked, looking at him again.
He waited a second to answer. "Betrayed," he finally said, softly.
Buffy shook her head with a pained look. "Is that what I have to look forward to? Death by vampire or betrayal?"
Giles did not answer. He looked equally pained. "She's too young," he thought, "she shouldn't be thinking of this. Its too early."
"Giles, please answer my question."
"Buffy, you're not like the others."
"Giles, I've seen them. Confidently leaving for what they thought was just another hunt. Their family never knowing were they were going. Confronting the vampire like they had done many times before. Their horror when they realized that somehow this was different. Their fear when they knew that it was over. Their deaths. I've been through the same things. I felt the same way. I am just the same as them."
"Buffy, you've thwarted prophecy..."
"Have I?" she interrupted. "Remember the Anointed One? That was one prophecy we thought I had beat. But there he was, taking my hand and leading me down to hell. Leading me to my..."
Giles just looked at her with a solemn face.
"Giles, please. Don't keep this from me. I am still the Chosen One. I will still do my duty. You know that."
He looked at her for a moment. Perhaps it is better this way, he thought. With all she's been through, perhaps she should know now. Besides, he really did think she was different from the others.
"Very well," he said. "Buffy, I don't have record of all Slayers, of course, but what I have will give you an idea of what has been normal.....