January
January 18, 1865
I would have liked to have begun my entries here from the very first day of our voyage but the events of the past two days have made it impossible. First, there was the discovery that the transportation Mr. Jason Bolt had secured for us was, in truth, a mule boat, complete with stalls and noticeable traces of the previous inhabitants. Miss Candy Pruitt led a small "mutiny" on our first night here. There was probably scant hope of her being successful in her endeavors but I must admit to a certain admiration for her heroic attempt. I did not join in during this event, which I am given to understand included Miss Pruitt actually pointing a gun at Mr. Bolt! I find that I am not quite so alarmed by our circumstances as are some of the other ladies. I believe Mr. Bolt when he says that this is the only vessel available during these difficult times. I am afraid I must also admit to seeing a certain amount of humor in our situation. Here we are, all one hundred of us, women from some of New Bedford's finest families...sleeping two to a stall on beds of straw in the hold of a mule scow. I daresay if the Reverend Cummings and his wife could see me in such circumstances, they would be quite overcome with shock!Once it was decided that we would try to make the best of our situation, Miss Pruitt (who seems to have quite naturally assumed a leadership position) divided us into small work groups for the purpose of making our temporary home more livable. I found myself in the company of several ladies whose responsibility it was to sew curtains which would be hung to provide some small areas of privacy in the hold. The fabric was provided by several of the seamstresses among us; with space for personal belongings at such a premium, I believe they felt it more efficient to bring fabric with which to make additional clothing once we have arrived in Seattle. When we had completed the first project, it was suggested by one of the ladies on my committee that we also make curtains for the portholes as they were, after all, our "windows". I was quite unsure how to even begin this particular project but a Miss Anne Scarborough came to our aid and found a most ingenious method of doing it. (She is quite accomplished with a needle and thread and I shall have to remember to consult her the next time I attempt a sewing project.)
January 21, 1865
I am struggling greatly with the seasickness which has afflicted so many of us. I had hoped not to be as affected as I am but I am assured by some that this is a temporary condition which will abate once I "get my sea legs". Jason Bolt came to speak to us briefly to tell us that we might feel better if we could manage to come up on deck to take the air. I was able to do so for a time and I do think that it helped. I shall try again tomorrow. Mr. Bolt plans to lead Sunday services then and I should like to attend, if I am able.January 22, 1865
I was able to attend services today, led by Mr. Bolt. I sensed that he felt somewhat uncomfortable in his role as "minister" for he would frequently struggle with words or look to one of his brothers, who were sitting in the front row of chairs, as if for support or assistance. (They did not appear able to provide him with much inspiration). It is admirable, however, that the Bolt brothers made this attempt on our behalf.January 27, 1865
I am finding it much more difficult than I had imagined to find an appropriate time and place in which to make my entries in this journal. It is my usual practice to make such entries in the evening so as to record the events of the day. This is nearly impossible here on shipboard, however; once the sun has set for the day, the brides' living quarters are too dimly lit for reading or writing. I cannot ignore the irony of our spending so much time sewing the curtains which now serve to cover our only sources of natural light! We have been asked, in order to assure our own safety, to have only two lanterns hung up at any one time here in the hold and those must be extinguished as early in the evening as is practical. We may not use candles under any circumstances. It is feared that to have open flames so near to the straw which comprises our beds would be to invite disaster.I made an attempt to write in my journal while I was on deck today, enjoying some lovely weather. Unfortunately, there is a very strong breeze when one is topside and several of my pages were swept from my lap and blown in a haphazard fashion across the deck of the ship! Mr. Jeremy Bolt and one of the sailors came to my aid, collecting the errant pages and returning them to me. As Mr. Bolt appears to speak to no one on board save his own brothers and perhaps the sailor he had been sitting with, I was curious to see if he would say anything to me when I thanked him for his help. He merely smiled, however, in a very shy manner and his eyes did not meet mine before he turned away again. How different the youngest brother is from the eldest!
January 29, 1865
A terrible and shocking thing has happened. A young man, one of the sailors on this vessel, somehow fell overboard this evening, was swept away by the sea, and drowned. Captain Clancy made every attempt to turn the ship around to save the boy but his efforts were to no avail and he was quite visibly upset by the ordeal. I, too, have found myself quite affected and my mind is overflowing with thoughts of this poor boy's family, who will surely grieve him. Most of the women have chosen to retire early this evening, so overcome are we all over this tragic turn of events.January 30, 1865
Although I have tried not to dwell on the death of that poor young man yesterday, I have not been successful. Although I was not present on deck at the time of the incident, I find myself imagining how it happened, the fear in his expression as he felt himself falling, the sound of his cries for help. I have tried to occupy myself with activities which require my full concentration and have even tried to find solace in the sonnets of Mr. William Shakespeare, but nothing has been of much help. I fear that it is too soon after the death of my beloved Robert on that wretched battlefield for me to face any loss of life with some degree of equanimity. As a consequence of my disordered thoughts, I feel that I have not been very good company today and hope that none of the ladies with whom I have come in contact will feel offended as a result. I daresay that many of them must be feeling some discomposure over this event as well. I, for one, am certainly reminded of the precious gift that is life and how quickly it can be taken away.
February
February 3, 1865
I have spent a most enjoyable morning here on the ship. We were informed last evening that we would be crossing the equator today and the majority of the women could not resist being on deck for so momentous an event! I have gotten to know several more of the ladies and have found common interests with many of them. There is a Miss Carla Riley who shares my love of poetry and the classics. I have also had most enjoyable conversations with Miss Anne Scarborough (who did a wonderful job of leading Sunday services a few days ago) and Miss Prudence Barton. I must add here that Miss Barton's enthusiasm for the adventure on which we have all embarked is quite contagious!I am having some difficulty in finishing my journal entry today for I find my attention frequently drawn away. It is unusual for so much activity to be taking place here on deck and I am fascinated with the various pastimes in evidence. Mr. Joshua Bolt, who seems to be polite and amiable, if a bit inconstant, has been playing a "game" with some of the ladies this morning. I am too far away to hear what is being said but I am certain that if Miss Pruitt were to see some of the activity involved, she would put a stop to it at once. I trust that Jason Bolt feels that the game is harmless enough for I believe he can see the players from his place in the wheelhouse and has not come to talk to his brother.
As I was writing those last sentences, there was some commotion on the other side of the ship which I cannot see from my vantage point. Joshua Bolt suddenly left his game to run across the deck and out of sight. A moment later, Jason Bolt appeared in the doorway of the wheelhouse and called to both of his brothers who were apparently part of whatever activity was taking place. They have now all gone inside the wheelhouse. I suppose that I should be more curious about all of this but I know that I will soon hear all that has happened. One of the lessons that I learned almost immediately upon boarding this vessel is that there are few secrets that can be kept in the company of one hundred women with not enough to occupy them.
February 8, 1865
I am spending my days pleasantly enough. I have made the acquaintance of several more of the women on board this vessel and I feel most comfortable in their midst. Anne is becoming a particularly good friend although it seems that I am able to find good company everywhere I turn. With all of the time that we ladies have available to us during the day, I find it hard not to be drawn into all of the gossip which has become such a part of our routine. I must admit that some of the stories being passed from one of us to another are fascinating, although they do tend to change quite a bit in the retelling. One such story which was related to me several days ago concerned Candy Pruitt and the youngest of the Bolt brothers, Jeremy. It seems that the two of them were seen in each other's company for quite some time on that particular day and the lady who related this to me felt that some attachment might be forming between them. This morning, not more than 4 or 5 days later, another of the girls rushed up to me to announce in a breathless manner that she had heard that Candy and Mr. Bolt had been married this very morning by Captain Clancey! I was quite amused by this supposed turn of events and wondered aloud if Mr. Bolt would be moving into the Brides' quarters with us or if Miss Pruitt would take up residence with all of the Bolt brothers. I'm afraid that the young lady who had reported all this to me did not understand my amusement or my gentle teasing as she walked away looking quite confused.February 11, 1865
I must admit that I took part in a bit of a "mutiny" today. We are anchored off the coast of Rio de Janeiro for the second day and were told again by Jason Bolt that it would be too dangerous for us to go ashore. His announcement came after he and his brothers, along with Captain Clancey, spent an evening in the city themselves and I am afraid that I did not feel that the men were being quite sincere with us. After travelling so far, it was too hard to accept that we would not be able to have even a bit of adventure when it was beckoning to us so clearly. When Miss Pruitt decided to call a meeting to challenge Mr. Bolt's edict, I found myself eager to attend. I believe that the ladies made their point since, by the close of the meeting, the Bolts had agreed to arrange for a tour of the city for us. I was glad to see that the brothers were willing to listen to our request and our concerns. I realize that the task of squiring 100 inexperienced women around a foreign city must seem a bit daunting and I hope that we will conduct ourselves in a manner which will not give the Bolt brothers cause to regret their change of heart.February 16, 1865
I have greatly enjoyed the events of the past two days. Our trip into the city was quite interesting and I particularly enjoyed our visit to the botanical gardens. I feel so alive when I am surrounded by nature and I did not realize how much I missed her scents and colors after all these weeks of close quarters and salt air. Today a large number of us prepared a luncheon which we carried to Corcovado, a park recommended by the captain of another vessel anchored near our own. Our picnic was quite pleasant and I enjoyed a stroll with several of the other ladies, Anne and Lulu among them. Later, though, I felt that I needed some solitude and I wandered off a bit, though not out of sight of our company. My thoughts turned to Robert, then, as they have many times in recent weeks. He would have enjoyed seeing this country, I think, for he had a most adventurous spirit. I feel somehow that I am seeing it for both of us. The thought is comforting to me.On my way back to rejoin the group, I spotted Miss Pruitt and Mr. Jeremy Bolt walking toward me. My curiosity was peaked as this was the first time I myself had seen them together and I admit that I watched them for a time. They seemed to me to be perfectly content with each other; I also wondered at some of the girls' comments that Candy must do all of the talking as Mr. Bolt seemed to be holding his own in the conversation. As we passed close to each other, Candy gave me a friendly wave and Jeremy Bolt, to my surprise, looked me in the eye and smiled a greeting as well.
March
March 2, 1865
I have been spending quite a bit of time in our quarters the past few days. Now that we have entered "the Straits", our sailing time has been greatly slowed and the motion of the ship is once again as bad as it was a few weeks ago when we were so ill. I find myself in a somewhat melancholy mood, not helped by some of the bickering which is going on around me. Much of the time I can find reason to be amused by the silly reasons for some of our disagreements; does it really matter, for example, if Frannie and Peggy are wearing identical hairbows? Cannot one of them change to a different color for today? I am not unsympathetic to the girls' feelings but we still have a long way to go and I dislike seeing friendships threatened over such frivolous concerns.March 4, 1865
We are presently off the coast of Chile and several of the ladies went ashore today to do some exploring. Although Anne and Carla begged me to go, I felt that I would be more content to remain aboard ship with my books. I have been doing a great deal of reading lately, although I am limited with the shorter days.March 5, 1865
I attended Sabbath services today which were again presided over by Reverend Simonton. I was quite surprised when this supposed man of God began to berate the women as a group for supposedly leading his son Tom astray. Apparently the young man accompanied the party which went ashore yesterday and the reverend took umbrage, unleashing a torrent of angry words at the congregation which were obviously directed at any of us who were members of the fairer sex. How painful it must be for God to see someone twisting His inspired words and His wisdom in such a hateful way! I was distressed to see quite a few of the younger women crying out of fear or guilt...even some who had not been on the outing! Carla Riley, bless her heart, actually got up and walked out of the room. The rest of us sat in shocked silence, even after the Reverend had finished speaking, until Jason Bolt rose to address the gathering. He proceeded to quote from Proverbs the words of King Solomon regarding the worth of a good woman; his words had the desired effect and the mood of the room was lifted somewhat. I admit to some surprise that Mr. Bolt was able to draw on the Bible for his rebuttal of Rev. Simonton's diatribe; he does not impress me as a someone who spends a great deal of time in church, but then, he appears to be a man of many contradictions. I am grateful to him, however, for reminding all of us that the reverend's words were not the words of our Lord, at least not on this day.March 10, 1865
Miss Charity Stanford was rudely accosted by Tom Simonton, the reverend's wayward son, yesterday. Her cries for help were heard by Joshua Bolt who came to her aid and, according to young Serena Jacobsen "laid him out with one fierce punch in the face." I feel sympathy for Miss Stanford, who seems to be enjoying the attention this event has afforded her. I also feel a degree of admiration for Mr. Bolt and his "iron fist", as Biddie Cloom refers to him. (I daresay that Miss Cloom, the dear lady, almost wishes that she had been the lady accosted as she seems most excited at the prospect of being "rescued" by one of the Bolt brothers.) In any case, the excitement is over for now. It remains to be seen if this event can be kept a secret, as Miss Pruitt has requested, for the remaining few days that the Simontons will be with us. I am certain none of us wants Mr. Bolt to suffer any consequences as a result of his heroism.March 16, 1865
Anne came to me this morning to announce that she had something to tell me "as a friend". I dutifully listened as she gently chastised me for keeping too much to myself these last few weeks. Though I did not realize it, apparently those women on board who have come to regard me as a friend have become concerned that I have not been as sociable as I should and asked Anne to express their concerns and to determine if I am feeling well. I feel somewhat embarrassed that I should have caused this concern and have promised Anne that I will make an attempt to take part in the upcoming activities which are being planned while we are anchored here in Lota.I have spent the better part of the day mulling over Anne's words to me and considering my recent behavior; I realize now that I have allowed myself to become somewhat introspective lately and I feel I must remedy the situation. Perhaps I have been somewhat homesick, or my thoughts of Robert have made me feel somewhat melancholy. I have resolved that this will no longer be the case. I have come on this voyage to begin a new life in a new place. Not many women are afforded the chance to make a fresh start in life; I am very fortunate indeed.
March 17, 1865
Fully resolved to "change my ways" after yesterday's conversation with Anne, I was the first to join the party preparing to attend a luncheon at the home of the American Consul here in Chile. Those of us who went on this outing were accompanied by the youngest and oldest of the Bolt brothers and we had a delightful time. Following the luncheon, most of the party explored the grounds and gardens of the Consul's home. A few of us, however, found a pathway which led to the beach and could not resist following it. Anne and I had the idea of collecting a few shells to take back with us as souvenirs for some of the other girls and we each chose a different direction for our hunt. My search took me quite a way down the beach where I suddenly came upon Mr. Jason Bolt who appeared to be resting in the shadow of some rocks.I cannot explain what came over me at that moment but as I watched him, I felt for some reason as if he might want some company. I suppose it was silly of me to think so since he is frequently surrounded by scores of women, each looking for answers or attention. Nevertheless, when he awakened at my approach, I felt compelled to call a greeting to him, which he returned in a polite but restrained manner. I then decided, frivolously perhaps, to ask for his help in gathering seashells. It was an odd request, to be sure, and his confused expression only confirmed that fact; however, he suddenly smiled and then agreed as he got to his feet. What followed was a very pleasant hour or so of conversation during which we discovered our mutual interest in classic literature. I was also able to draw him out somewhat on the subject of our new home and he asked several questions of me which were of a somewhat personal nature but which I felt perfectly comfortable answering.
Later in the afternoon, we came upon Miss Pruitt and Jeremy Bolt who were also exploring the seashore. They appeared to be holding hands when we first saw them but quickly moved apart as we came into view. I couldn't resist glancing at Jason Bolt for his reaction; his expression was somewhat amused but I was certain I detected some admiration there as well.
March 18, 1865
It is with some amusement that I report that I am now the object of some ship's gossip. During my conversation with Jason Bolt yesterday, we were apparently spotted by one or more of the other ladies and they have wasted no time in mapping out our courtship and marriage! I do hope none of this reaches that gentleman's ears as I would not wish him to think that I encouraged this idle chatter...and that is certainly all it is.March 21, 1865
Dr. Silver, the American Consul, held a lovely party at his home yesterday evening to which all the women were invited. A very large number of us went and Anne and Prudence both said how pleased they were that I was taking part. I apologized again for having worried them in the past and promised that from this point on, they would not have to worry about me. I am still berating myself just a bit for the distress I must have caused them; I must have appeared terribly self-indulgent in recent weeks!While at the party, I found myself conversing with a group that included Miss Pruitt and the two youngest Bolt brothers. It was with some amazement that I realized I had never heard Jeremy Bolt's voice until this evening! On shipboard, he had always seemed too shy to engage in conversation and, of course, many of the women had mentioned the speech impediment with which he is afflicted. He was speaking tonight, however, albeit quietly, and I found his stammer to be barely noticeable.
I felt Joshua Bolt's eyes on me several times during the conversation and when I chanced to meet his glances, he did not turn away but stared rather boldly. He appears to be a very intelligent young man but I am not sure how I feel about his boldness; it is not as tempered with politeness as it is with his older brother.
