The day dawned grey and raw, which matched Jason Bolt's mood perfectly. He started to lift his head from the pillow but fell back with a groan. It felt as if he had been crowned with an anvil. Vaguely he remembered his brothers Joshua and Jeremy helping him home from Lottie's saloon the previous night. After that, probably mercifully so, his mind was a blank.

The smell of bacon and eggs frying set his stomach roiling dangerously, but the aroma of brewing coffee was like manna from heaven. As if reading his mind, Joshua appeared with a steaming cup in hand.

"We brewed a whole pot just for you," he announced.

Jason covered his eyes with his hand. "Not so loud, Josh!" he begged his soft-spoken brother. "How bad was I last night?"

"You would've put Clancey to shame."

"Good God!" he muttered. "I'll never be able to show my face in Lottie's again."

"Don't worry. She understands. All of Seattle does. It's only once a year."

Jason sat up slowly and gratefully accepted the coffee from Joshua. "It's been four years. You'd think by now I'd have accepted it and gotten on with my life."

Joshua reached over and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Easier said than done. And keep in mind, even Jason Bolt is allowed to be human like the rest of us."

"T-t-to err is human; to forgive is d-d-divine." Jeremy said quietly upon entering the room.

Jason tried to frown at his youngest brother, but it hurt too much. "Please, Jeremy. No lectures, today of all days."

"It d-d-doesn't matter what day it is. You'll never listen t-t-to reason on this subject. I'll be at the c-c-camp," he flung over his shoulder as he turned abruptly and left.

"Too soft-hearted for his own good," Joshua said, and took the empty cup from Jason. "I'll get you a refill before I head up to the camp as well." When he returned not a minute later Jason was about to get out of bed, and he shook his head in disbelief. "You really should take it easy today. A logging camp is the last place you need to be in your present condition. Jeremy and I can take care of things."

Jason was about to protest but thought better of it. What his brother said made perfect sense. "I think I will stay put for a time, Josh. Thanks."

But not even an hour after being alone, Jason was restless and sought distraction from the demons that plagued him. Pulling on his pants and shrugging on his shirt, he went and stoked the fire and helped himself to another cup of coffee. His well-thumbed volume of Shakespeare's complete works—a treasured heirloom from his father—beckoned, but after a few minutes he put the book aside, unable to concentrate. His gaze kept wandering to the wooden dower chest under the front window, a beautiful piece that his father had made for his mother. Drawn like a moth to a flame he went over and knelt beside it, lifting up the heavy lid and removing a long wooden box with a trembling hand.

Bittersweet memories wafted out along with the smell of cedar. One by one he removed the box's treasured contents—a tiny lace gown and matching bonnet, a silver christening cup, a well-loved rag doll, and a beautifully hand-carved Noah's Ark toy, complete with twelve sets of animals. A sheaf of letters in childish scrawl, bound with a pink ribbon, lay at the bottom of the box. Jason went to reach for them but recoiled. No! He had tortured himself enough already.

Carefully replacing the items in the box, he put them back inside the chest and closed the lid. But doing so didn't seal the grievous memories inside as well. They reached out for him like ghostly hands from a grave. Bleakly he stared out the window and wondered if the pain would ever subside.

"Well, hello there, Jeremy!" Biddie Cloom chirped as he entered the dormitory. "Candy'll be down in a minute. She's fitting Molly for a new dress. I swear, that girl grows an inch every day!"

"And Christopher grows two inches," he said ruefully as he sat down opposite her at the long trestle table.

"How are you today?" she inquired.

"Uh, fine."

"And Joshua?"

He gave her a quizzical look. "Last time I looked he was right as rain."

Biddie paused a moment before leaning forward and asking pointedly, "And Jason?"

"J-J-Jason's okay, too," he said, and looked away. He was a terrible liar.

"I only ask because I heard he wasn't up at the camp today. And he's been so—so quiet these past few days. If he's sick, I can brew some of my Aunt Bertha's sassafras tea and—"

"That's very kind of you, Biddie," he interrupted, "b-b-but Jason's fine. Really."

"If you say so," she said, totally unconvinced, but prepared to let the matter go for the moment. Candy would get it out of him.

"All done!" Candy announced cheerfully as she quickly descended the stairs. "Hello there, you!"

"Hello yourself!" Jeremy said, his troubled face brightening instantly at the sight of her. Sometimes he still couldn't believe he had the love of such a beautiful, vibrant woman.

As they stood gazing into each other's eyes, Biddie cleared her throat and announced she had some mending to attend to, and quickly disappeared upstairs.

"She's being unusually discreet!" Jeremy said with a laugh.

"A lot of people in Seattle are acting out of character lately," Candy said as she tucked her arm in his and steered him out the door. "I've been cooped up in here all day. Let's take a stroll."

As they strolled along the muddy streets in the deepening twilight, Jeremy hoped she wouldn't pursue the line of conversation in the dormitory, but Candy Pruitt wasn't one to leave anything unfinished.

"Take Aaron for example," she began. "Biddie actually overheard him asking Joshua how Jason was."

Jeremy shrugged. "You know Aaron. All b-b-business. We've got a deadline to meet and he heard Jason wasn't up at the camp today. He's probably concerned we won't come through on time."

"That's not the way Biddie heard it all. Aaron told Joshua to let him know if there was anything he could do."

Jeremy looked away. "Biddie must have heard wrong. It wouldn't be the first time."

"And Lottie! I went over to borrow some flour today and her place was a shambles! When I asked her what happened she just shrugged and said, 'Just a little ruckus last night. No big deal.' Now you know and I know how furious Lottie gets whenever a brawl breaks out in her place. But she wouldn't even say who caused it!"

"That is s-s-strange," Jeremy agreed.

"And?" Candy prodded.

"And what?"

She stopped in her tracks and faced him squarely, hands planted firmly on her hips. "And what I'd like to know is, what's going on around here lately? There's been a pall over the town for the past few days, and all of the brides are concerned. It's like the rest of you are keeping some deep, dark secret from us. We're part of Seattle too! We have just as much of a right to know as anyone else."

"Not if it doesn't concern you!" Jeremy snapped, and Candy recoiled as if she had been slapped.

"Oh!" Her voice wavered, betraying her distress. Jeremy had never addressed her in such a tone before. "Well, excuse me for prying, Mr. Bolt!"

He grabbed her arm as she started to walk away. "Candy, p-p-please wait! I'm sorry."

"I'm sure you are," she said stiffly. "At least I know one thing now. Something is going on."

"And you're going to get to the bottom of it," he said wearily.

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Because I'm asking you not to. Please, Candy! For just this once, leave it alone. You'll only m-m-make a bad situation worse."

Whether it was his gentle plea or the tortured look in his eyes, Candy didn't know. What she did know was that she loved him too much to deny his request. "All right," she said softly. "If it means that much to you."

"It does," he said, and kissed her gently. "Thank you. Someday I'll be able to tell you. But not now."

They walked along in silence as the moon slipped out from behind the clouds and spilled its golden light down on them.

"Thank you for the wonderful strawberry rhubarb pie, Biddie. It's one of Olaf's favorites," Miss Essie said as she poured out tea for her guests. "It was such an unexpected pleasure to see the two of you."

Candy shifted in her chair uncomfortably. Not satisfied with Candy's denial that everything was perfectly fine, Biddie had arranged to have tea with Miss Essie in hopes that she might be able to shed light on what was going on. Candy went along only to try to steer the conversation along other avenues.

"Oh, it's been far too long!" Biddie agreed. "But it's not entirely our fault, is it now? Ever since you married Big Swede—I mean Olaf—you don't have time for your old friends anymore!"

Essie was about to protest when she caught a glimpse of the teasing twinkle in Biddie's eye. "You're probably right. It's a full-time job cooking for a man like that. I've never seen such an appetite!"

The three women laughed, and Candy began to relax a little. Maybe nothing would come of this after all. But her friend was nothing if not tenacious.

"And speaking of Olaf, how are things up at the camp?" she inquired casually.

"Fine, I suppose. He hasn't said anything to lead me to believe otherwise. Why?"

"Oh, things I've heard here and there. Jason hasn't been up there too often lately, and there's all sorts of nasty rumors flying around. You know, like Jason is feuding with Joshua and Jeremy, or that he has some mystery illness, that kind of thing."

Essie's expression suddenly became guarded. "As far as I know, Jason is fine."

Biddie sipped her tea. "If you say so, we have to believe you. After all, friends don't lie to each other, do they?"

"Biddie!" Candy reprimanded her. "That wasn't very nice!"

"That's all right, Candy." Essie's hand trembled slightly as she put down her teacup. "I know how naturally curious Biddie is. She can't help it."

"Well, why should I? If something strange is going on, don't we have a right to know?"

"Biddie, honestly!" Candy chided her. "Miss Essie, I'm very sorry. We really should be going now."

Essie gave her a weary smile. "Perhaps you should. I think I feel a headache coming on."

After they left Candy rounded on her friend. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself, harassing Miss Essie that way!"

Biddie appeared genuinely confused. "But just yesterday you were saying we had a right to know; that we had a duty to find out. And now—"

"I've changed my mind."

"You changed it after your walk with Jeremy," Biddie observed shrewdly. "He told you something, didn't he, and you're keeping it from me, your very best friend!"

Candy sighed. "He didn't tell me a thing, Biddie! But he did ask me something. To stop prying. And as your very best friend, I'm going to ask you the same thing."

"Oh—oh all right!" she said reluctantly, and added, "But does that mean if I find out something by accident that you don't want to know?"

"Biddie—" Candy began threateningly.

"You can't blame a girl for trying, can you?" she asked, and her expression was one of such wounded innocence that Candy had to laugh.

Lottie frowned as she went over inventory. She hoped Clancey was bringing some glassware with him from San Francisco. She'd need an entire case to replace the ones Jason had broken the other night. Idly she mopped the bar with a rag. Instead of getting better it was getting worse every year, and her heart bled for him. The frustration at not being able to help him was so great that she gritted her teeth without knowing it and wiped the bar even harder.

"You might wear a hole in the wood if you're not careful, Lottie."

"Thanks for the warning, Aaron." She gestured to a chair. "What'll you have?"

"A whiskey; that is, if you have any left after Jason's binge the other night."

"Whiskey I've got; a glass to put it in might be a problem." Rummaging around under the bar she held one up triumphantly. "Always keep a few spares."

"Help yourself to one on me."

Her eyes narrowed. "You want something."

"Lottie! You wound me to the quick." He sipped his drink thoughtfully. "Granted, my motives might not have always been the purest in the past, but even you have to admit I'd never kick a man when he's down."

"No, I'll give you that," she said, and toasted him. "To occasional scruples."

"Maybe I do have an ulterior motive at that. I have to admit that most of the time I enjoy my sparring with Jason; it keeps me sharp. But with him—" He paused, searching for the appropriate term.

"Under the weather?" Lottie supplied.

"—under the weather, there's no sport, no challenge." He held out his glass for a refill. "You probably know Jason Bolt better than anyone besides his brothers. Isn't there anything we can do for him?"

"I've been wracking my brain over it, and I keep coming up with the same thing. If anything's to be done, it has to be done by Jason himself."

"You're probably right," he agreed glumly. "But I sure as hell wish he'd do it already!"