THe funeral was the most somber affair PC had ever seen. Lucky had been an integral part of the community, he touched nearly everyone's lives. His life had been cut off at such a young age, it made everyone feel sad.
Carly had come with AJ, although she kept sneaking glances at JAson. She had never even really tlaked to Lucky ever, but now all of a suddedn she felt this sense of family.
Liz sat at the front of the church with Luke, Laura, Nik, Lulu and EMily. She was to be hte last of the three to speak. SHe tried to calm her beatibg heart, she had to be strong.
Laura went up to the front of the church first. "I would like to thank you all for coming. THis would have touched my son Lucky very much to see how many poeple cared about him. I am here to talk to you first about my son."
"As all of you know, Lucky was not living at home for te past year or so. There was nothing I could do to get him to come home, I know that, but I wish there had been something. It was my fault he left, and I accpet that, but the years we did have togehter were wonderful."
Laura wiped a tear from her eye, as she remembered, "He was such a stubborn boy. I remember the time he ran away with his friend Emily, we were all worried for awile there."
Liz put a comforting hand on EM's shoulder as she recalled that time in her life with Lucky and let out a small sob.
"Lucky never had a normal childhood, how could he with me and Luke as his aprents? But I think he knew and understood family and other values. Whether we were all togehter, or in seperate parts of the world, we loved each other and were a family. I will always remember the time Lulu was born, and Lucky talked to her. He always took care of her, he was crushed when he couldn't donate his organs to her."
Laura put her ahdn to her mouth to cover the sob that was about to escape, "I remember the time he nearly died from a gunshot wound. I prayed so much that my baby wouldn't be taken away from me, unfortunately this time praying means nothing."
Laura kissed her fingers and pressed them to the picture of Lucky upon the altar, "He was my greatest gift." she said softly.
As she returned to her seat, Luke stood up. His eyes were already red and watery from Laura's speech.
"Lucky was my first born, my son. I loved him so much. I was thinking about him the other day, and I couild remember all these happy times. The time we scared his mother in Halloween masks, when he wanted to get an earring. We had our share of unhappiness, but those moments made up for everyhting."
He wiped nose, "Lucky couldn't forgive me for a mistake I made years ago, but he was starting to come around. I had my goofbye to him though, I was able to tell him how I felt. The night before he died I was able to tell him how much I respected him as a person, whether he lived with me or not."
"I told him he was the role model in this family, and it's true. If I had any part in the developement of taht young man, I can't believe it. He is like me, but so different in many more ways. I was fortunate to be able to tell him that, at least our last words to eahc other were in love not anger."
"I have nothing profound to say, except I love my son, and will miss him terribly. I hope you all got to tell him how much you cared, I'm glad I did."
Luke squeezed Liz hand as she got up after him.
She stood there, staring out into the rows of faces adn tried to compose herself.
"I don't have years worth of memories, but the ones I have I will never forget, they are etched in my mind forever."
"Lucky was my lifeline when my world was in shambles, he built me back up again. He was the most wonderful person I ever met, I never knew guys like him existed."
She let out a little laugh, "I remember the first time we met outside of Kelly's. I amaged to insult his aunt, his ister all in one breath. Then I asked him his name, when he answered Lucky I said, 'We'll see.' Our relationship came along way since that day. From near ememies to frineds, to more tahn friends."
"Just this Valetines day we were here in this very church. We pledged our love to eahc other here, forever before God. We were going to spend our lives together. We ahd planned to move to NY togehter this fall, epnding my acceptnace to art school."
"NOw, those dreams are shot to hell, but Lucky gave me the right to dream again. I will never love someone as I loved my Lucky, not ever, but with time I will be able to live my life without him. It will never equal half of what it could be with him in it, but it's a start."
Liz's eyes watered as she looked at the picture of Lucky on the altar. She grasped Lucky's necklace she now wore adn kissed it. It had only be about 2 months since they had pledged their eternal love to each other in this very church. She bitterly remembered her happiness on that day.
*Flashback*
L: what do you think?
E: It's beautiful. But what is it?
L: It's a church. If you'll come sit with me, I'll tell you why we're here. {He takes her hand and they sit side by side, looking at the alter}
L: You know I've been thinking about our future a lot right? Saving money, making plans, trying to see it in my mind. I'm actually not very good at that part. You're probably better with your imagination. I just, I mean, the way I grew up, you know, with my parents and all -- it -- the future, I just kind of -- I came a way of thinking of it as a fluid thing you know, something I couldn't put to much stock in cause any moment, any day, it could change, you know. I'm rambling aren't I?
E: No, go on
L: Well with all that said, When I look at the future now, I can almost make it out, because I can see this {He touches her face} And this {he passes a hand in her hair}, and those incredible eyes, nailing me to the wall. Where we go, it doesn't matter. Port Charles, New York, Istanbul
E: Istanbul?
L: You never know
E: I'd go there with you. I'd go anywhere with you. Because it's the same for me. I look ahead and the one constant is you. You are always there, taking my hand, pulling me back when things get too intense and I start obsessing over something. Giving me kisses that taste like chocolate.
L: It's a good thing you like chocolate
E: My favorite.
L: Ok, here it goes {He takes her hand and kisses it}. You and I have made promises to each other, about staying together, not telling lies, never loving anyone else.
E: And I meant them
L: Me too. That's why I wanna make those same promises again, before Godthis time.
L: Maybe I should be clear about something. I'm not assuming we're in the same place, and, despite how this looks, it really has occurred to me that you might not be ready to make grand, sweeping promises, and you don't have to, I'd just like it if you'd listen.
E: It's just a little overwhelming.
L: I scared you right? God something told me I was moving way too fast
E: No, no, no, Lucky, not at all. I meant, this is the most incredible, most amazing, most loving thing that has ever happened to me, and it blows me away that you thought up all of this and put it together
L: It's OK?
E: It is so OK
L: {He sighs of relief} OK, Don't move and close your eyes. Close your eyes. {He gets the flowers} What is it?
E: Roses?
L: You win, you get to keep ‘em
E: Lucky, they're beautiful
L: You put them to shame
E: You really want to do this?
L: More than I ever wanted anything {They walk up to the alter, and look up}
L: That's weird, when I try to think about who I was before I knew you. It's like looking at an old picture of someone I used to know, and old friend I lose touch with or a relative I was never close to, but not the real flesh and blood me. Because I can't even imagine who I used to be, without you, how I walked around in this world, not knowing you were in it, waiting to love me. I never want that again. I never wanna know another day that doesn't include you. I don't even know how it happened. I couldn't tell ya, the exact day, or moment when I realized that I love you, but when it did, it happened big. {He laughs} You've got my heart. That's a permanent lock. Everything I am is in love with you. {tears roll down his face} My soul, my mind, my body, my spirit. That will never change. I pledge myself to you, Elizabeth, today, forever.
E: This is so amazing. That you and I would be standing here, and you'd be saying these things to me. I am so honored to be who you love. This time last year, I couldn't find a way out of the pain, and the shame. I never thought I'd smile, or laugh again. And then I looked up, and you were there, and you took my hand, and made me walk right back into the rest of my life, all the way to here. A place that's good, and pure, and safe, and I am so full inside, it hurts. You've got my heart. That's a permanent lock. Everything I am is in love with you. My soul, my mind, my body, my spirit. That'll never change. I pledge myself to you Lucky, today, forever.
{They both sigh. Lucky takes her ring from her right hand, and puts it on her left hand}
L: This ring is my promise.
{They kiss}
L: How do you feel?
E: More. More of everything. You?
L: New, joyful, {laughs} I don't know
E: I wanna tell you something
L: OK
E: This was wonderful, I don't even know how to put into words how much this means to me. Do you know what you did? You wrapped up Valentine's Day and gave it to me as a present. You took the worst night imaginable and, like a magician, turned it into the best. No one in my life will ever do that. So, if you're starting to get that sick feeling in your stomach, like you followed this noble impulse and you think it might have took you too far...
L: Oh no, you can't get rid of me that easy, Elizabeth, and really, do I look like a guy who has a sick feeling in his stomach?
E: No, you look like an angel {She wipes a tear with her thumb}
{They hug each other}
*End flashback*
Liz whispered to herself really quietly,"You've got my heart. That's a permanent lock. Everything I am is in love with you. My soul, my mind, my body, my spirit. That'll never change. I pledge myself to you Lucky, today, forever."
She felt a hand on her shoulder, she had nearly forgotten there were other people in the church. It was Emily, "Are you okay?"
Liz shook her head willing the tears to disappear, "No," she whispered.
"Do you want to step outside?" Em asked gently.
Liz nodded, "I think that'd be a good idea."
She tried to ignore the pitying glances as Emily led her out of the church. She refused to break down inside the church, not in front of al those people, strangers most of them.
They exited the church. Em took one look at the tears filling Liz's eyes and pulled her into a hug.
"It's okay LIz," she said soothingly, "It will be alright."
"HOw?" Liz didn't think she could ever feel okay.
"The pain will lessen. I learned that with my mom's death. It hurt, but not as much. I could even learn to love my new family. Lucky may be dead, but he will live forever in your heart."
"I didn't even get to show him exactly how much he meant to me." Liz cried.
Em looked surprised, "He knew you loved him Liz."
SHe sighed, "I know, but he never knew exactly how much I trusted him. You know when I told you that one day I thought I was ready to do mroe tahn kissing? Well, we never really got much farther beyond taht."
Em didn't know waht to say to that, "Lucky knew you trusted him, it was probably it was his idea to stop."
"Yeah, Em, it was. But that's not waht matters. I wanted him to be my first man to sleep wiht. Now, we'll never have that together." Liz sounded so brokenhearted.
Em hugged her again, "Liz, you and Lucky had so much more than that. THe love and tenderness you had was amazing. Lucky may not be your first lover, but you'll always know he was your first love."
"Em, he's my only love. Forever."
Em shook her head, "No Liz, you may think that now, but it won't be that way later in life. Lucky would want you to be happy."
"Em, don't you see? I can't be happy without him!" Liz cried anguish, "And I never got teh chance to prove to him how much I loved him."
Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say
And now it's too late to hold you
'Cause you've flown away
So far away
Never had I imagined
Living without your smile
Feeling and knowing you hear me
It keeps me alive
Alive
And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day
Darling, I never showed you
Assumed you'd always be there
I took your presence for granted
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared
And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day
Although the sun will never shine the same
I'll always look to a brighter day
Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep
You will always listen as I pray
And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day
And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day
Sorry I never told you
All I wanted to say
Comments wanted
© 1999 kathryn789@hotmail.com
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