They held each other tightly, not wanting to let go. Liz felt as if she let go he would leave and she would realize this was all just a dream. But if this was a dream she never wanted it to end.
Lucky couldn't hold her close enough, she was here, she was okay. He kissed her hair, not wanting to let go for a single second.
Heaven was in his arms, Liz thought. THis couldn't be a dream, there was no way she could feel something this real. Not even a hallucination was this real. TO be held by her love after all these years. Nothing could be better than this.
This is my moment
This is my perfect moment with you
This is what God meant
This is my perfect moment with you
I wish I could freeze this space in time
The way that I feel for you inside
This is my moment
This is my perfect moment with you
Tell me you love me when you leave
You're more than a shadow, that's what I believe
You take me to places I never thought I'd see
Minute by minute you are the world to me
I wish I could frame the look in your eyes
The way that I feel for you inside
This is my moment
This is my perfect moment with you
And if tomorrow brings a lonely day
Here and now I know I haven't lived in vain
I'll cry my tears in the rain
and if love never comes again
I can always say I've been
to paradise skies in your eyes... eyes...eyes
So tell me you love me the moment you leave
You're more than a shadow, I've got to believe
I wish I could keep you all of my life
The way that I feel for you inside
This is my moment
This is my perfect moment with you
This is my moment
This is my perfect moment with you,
with you
Liz pulled away from Lucky to stroke his face, "How is this possible? Am I dreaming?"
He smiled, "You are not dreaming, I promise you that. It's very possible, I'm here aren't I?"
"Are you?" Liz trembled, "I imagined you alive before, I might be doing it again."
Lucky cleared his throat, "Well, if you're referring to the time on the docks, you weren't imagining me. I was there."
"THat was real," Liz whispered, almost shocked.
She reeled on Nikolas who was standing a couple of feet away, "You knew this whole time, and you told me I was hallucinating? How could you do that."
Lucky saved Nik from replying, "I asked him not to Elizbaeth."
She whirled back to him, "What? Why wouldn't you want anyone to know you're alive? You're parents are going to be thrilled, adn your sister."
Lucky shook his head, "You don't understand. Nobody can know, not yet. I have to talk with my dad first. This guy who had me, he told me he does business with my father, and I have to figure out who he is and of my dad can trap him."
"You weren't going to tell me you were alive?" Liz was shocked.
Lucky sighed, "I didn't want to put you in any kind of danger. They would do anyhting ot you to recapture me."
"But you told Nikolas?" liz was incredulous he would tell Nik and not her.
Lucky shrugged, "Nikky can take care of himself. Besides, your hospital room was no doubt bugged, we couldn't take any chances. Besides, Nikolas here had to give me information on where my family was."
"I could have told you all that and you know it," Liz accused, "What made you think I was so weak I couldn't ahdnle it?"
"I didn't think you were too weak," Lukct shot abck, trying to control is temper. THis wasn't quite the homecoming he imagined. Liz had to see waht he had been doing, and would still do, was to protect her.
Liz heard him mumble somehting under his breath about, "easier....leave...." but paid no attention to it, he then continued aloud, "You were under so much strain, there was no need to put something more on your plate."
Liz was fusterated, "I still don't see how telling me you were alive was going to change anyhting negatively. This was the happiest moment I've experienced in 4 years, finding out you were alive and didn't leave me."
Lucky yelled back, "Elizabeth, you don't understand! THis was for your own good!"
"DOn't you love me Lucky? Didn't you want me to know you were alive instead of leaving me ther on the docks?" She yelled.
"Leaving you on the docks was the hardest thing I ever had to do!" he replied, still yelling. "Of course I love you Liz! I never stopped!"
"Well, I never stopped either!" Liz yelled, "And it's tearing me up inside you didn't trust me with the knowledge you were alive and well."
Liz cut short their yelling match by guiltily casting an embarassed glance at Nikolas, "I'm so sorry Nik."
He forced a smile, "I never believed you loved me. It was just enough taht I loved you."
Liz pleaded, "Nik, I did love you but......."
He finished her sentence, "But not in the same way, or as much as Lucky. I know that Liz, and I don't blame either of you for it. You were meant for each other, and I never believed otherwise."
"I'm so sorry," she said hugging him.
"Honestly Liz," he asuured her, hugging her abck, "I don't mind at all. I wish you two all the happiness in the world again."
Lucky had calmed down from their little yelling match, "Liz, I guess I'll have to explain it all to you. Even Nik doesn't know the whole truth."
"What," Nika sked, pulling away from Liz, "haevm't you told me yet?"
Lucky sighed, "THis ties into why I wasn't going to tell you I was alive Liz."
He took her ahdns and led her over to the couch, "YOu have to understand Liz, I didn't tell you I was alive for your own sake. For the pst 4 years I was held captive by a man whom I don't know the real name of, a man who was working in collaberation with Helena. I escaped from them when they brought me along on their little trip here. You have no idea waht could happen to you, even before when I was still captive they......." he didn't want to pursue that line.
But Liz did,"While you were still captive waht?"
Lucky sighed, "You don't want to know Liz."
She insisted, "I do Lucky, whatever it is, tell me."
He sighed, he would have to tell her eventually, "This is a horrible thing Liz." he looked over at Nikolas, "I'm afraid yuor grandmother is more vile tahn I ever thought her."
"What did she do?" Nik asked, really not caring that she was his grandmother. They ahd had nearly no contact in the past few years.
Lucky sighed adn tooked Liz's hands, "YOur rape ELizabeth, it was no chance meeting with a rapist in the cemetary. Helena set the whole deal up, it was all her doing."
Liz put a hand to her mouth, "Helena paid somebody to rape me?"
Lucky nodded sorrowfully, "Yes."
Liz stood up to apce, "But why?"
Lucky sighed, "I don't really know. I overheard a converstion tat suggests it was a simple act of spite to my captor to amek me determined to escape on our little trip."
"She had me raped out of spite at your captor?" Liz was in a rage, "THat BITCH! How dare she? How could she just wake up one day and decide to have me raped, a person she doesn't even know."
Lucky took her in his arms to comfort her, "She's dsepicable."
Liz pounded her fists agaisnt Lucky's chest, but evdntaully her anger turned into tears.
Lucky held ehr close as she sobbed against his shoulder, "how could she?" Liz whispered, "she did that to me on purpose. She had someone rape."
Lucky held her closer, " I know sweetie, I know." how easily he slipped back into the role of protector for her. "I'm so sorry."
"What do you have to be sorry for?" Liz asked and sniffled, "You weren't the one taht raped me, or arranged to have me raped."
Lucky didn't answer. He knew he ahd no power over Helena but he felt guilty all the same.
Nik stood off to the side feeling out of place. He was Livid though. His own grandmother commit such an act of cruelty, against his fian....one of his friends. He caught himself nearly thinking of Liz as his fiancee again.
Lucky pulled away from Liz for a moment, "I know this is a lot to absorb right now," he said looking into her eyes, "But there's more."
"MOre..." Liz echoed softly.
Lucky turned away from her as he told her this, he ahd to be strong. He couldn't stand to see hte pain in her eyes when he told her.
"I didn't want to tell you I was alive, because when I am gone that would make them more suspicious that you may now somehting."
"Gone?" Nikas ked. Lucky ahd told him nothing about this.
Lucky nodded, "I have to leave town. I am putting everyone in danger just by staying here. I am going to hide out around here for a couple days, adn if my dad and family aren't back, I will find a way to get to Germany to find them."
"You're leaving?" Liz was shocked.
Lucky turned around, "Yes. THis was one of the other reasons I didn't tell you. That way it wouldn't hurt you when I ahd to leave."
Liz shook her head, "You're not leaving. I just got you back, I'm not letting you go."
Nik joined in,"I agree. You can stay here until Luke, Laura and Lulu get back."
Lucky shook his head empathetically, "No Nik, it won't work. I won't put you all in that kind of danger."
"Lucky," Liz put a hand on his arm, "I lost you once. I won't go through taht again."
LUcky grabbed her arm, "Do you want to die! I will noy be your death!"
Liz had tears in ehr eyes from the force of his desperation, "I love you Lucky, adn I will risk everyhting for you. I learned smething when I thought you were dead, i am nothing without you. My world, well, there was no world without you. I love you Lucky, adn I won't let you go."
Days and nights and nights and Days
In silent shades of lazy greys
I call your name
It's all the same
Sitting, staring at the ceilin'
drippin' painted pictures peelin'
from my walls
the time just crawls
was it yesterday
I don't know, was I dreaming
or did I lose
everything I belived in
If you could only see what I see
everytime you leave
Imagine a world with no sky
Imagine the ocean run dry
Imagine and you'll see the view
of my world without you
Imagine No sun and No rain
Imagine that each day's the same
It doesn't matter what I do
In a world without you
Doers Doin' thinkers thinkin'
Lonely Lovers Lips are sinkin'
in my tea
they're burning me
Wasted weepin' someone speakin'
through my head the bed is leakin'
Tears again
and there's no end
Imagine a world with no sky
imagine the ocean run dry
imagine and you'll see the view
of my world without you
imagine no sun and no rain
imagine that each day's the same
It doesn't matter what I do
In a world without you
Imagine that the flowers won't bloom
Imagine that I couldn't be with you
nothing else can get me through
In a world without you
That's my world
That's my world
That's my world without you.
Lucky took her into his arms, "I won't be the cause of your death."
Liz hugged him, "It will be less dangerous with you than without you. I'll have your protection."
Nik spoke up, "I agree with both of yuo. Lucky's right about going on the run."
"HUh?" they looked at him.
"Yeah, Lucky. But both Liz and I are going with you." Nik sadi, satisfied with himself.
Lucky shook his head adamantly, "No way."
Liz ignored him, "That's a great idea Nik."
Lucky waved a hadn in front of her eyes, "Did you hear me Liz? Absoluitely no way!"
Nik went on, "It makes perfect sense. When can you be ready to go Liz?"
Liz thought, "Give me half an hour to get some stuff together."
Nik finally acknowledged the seething Lucky beside them, "So it's all decided then."
Lucky shook his head, "NO it's not. You two are not coming, I'm going alone."
Liz smiled, "No honey, we're all going. You can be difficult or accepting, either way we're coming with you."
"It's a good idea Lucky," Nik agreed. "Very simple plan. Liz and I tell everyone we are going on a little trip togehter to celebrate our engagement. Nobody's going to put a tail on us just to follow a young couple going for a trip alone together. Besides, I can call PC to check to see when your family returns. it's not like you can exactly call up someone, you would have to risk coming back into town."
"Besides darling," Liz grinned, "You didn't actually think we'd let you go away from us that easily, did you? Now trust me, we're coming!"
Lucky sighed, he knew he was beaten. Liz, well and Nik, were so damn stubborn. He would never get rid of them.
"Fine," he amended, "But the frist sign of any danger you come back here."
"
"Oh, absolutely Lucky," Liz told him solemnly, not meaning a word of it.
Lucky sighed again, he knew she would never leave unless he ahd to drag her kicking anf screaming. He enver should have come to her until afterwords.
"LEt's just get out of here ASAP," Lucky said, "We'll need to find a place, can you cover that Nik?"
He nodded, "I'll go into the bedroom right now to make arrangements."
THey watched him enter the room.
Liz turned to Lucky, glad they were alone so she could ask him somehting.
"WHy Lucky?"
"Why waht?" he asked her, not having an inkling of what she was talking about.
She walked up to him, his abck was turned on her, he was leaning against the couch "If you were so worried about me, why did you finally let Nik bring me to you." she put a hand on his back.
She felt a tremor go through him, "I wanted to say I'm sorry." he whispered.
Liz turned him around to look at him. To her surprise he had tears in his eyes, "Apologize for waht? You have nothing to feel guilty for."
He took her hand off of him, disgusted. Not with ehr, but with himself. "Yes I do Liz, adn you know that."
"I'm confused Lucky," she said, "I can't recall anything you have to feel sorry for."
He grabbed her shoulders, "Yes Liz, I do. If it weren't for me your baby would still be alive."
Liz was shocked, "That's absurd."
He shook his head, "NO, it's not. You saw me on the docks adn fainted,therefore falling in the water adn catching pnuemonia. THe IV line was pulled out and your baby died as a result."
He went on, "I don't deserve your love after what I put you through. I killed your baby, adn now will probably be your death."
Liz reached up to wipe the tears from hsi face, he brushed ehr hadn away angrily, "Lucky you deserve more than I can ever offer you."
He just shook her head wordlessly, crying.
Liz turned away from him. She ahd to tell him this to stop feeling the guilt, but he would be so disgusted.
"Lucky, if anyone doesn't deserve love it's me." se wiped a tear that had formed in the corner of her eye. "Maybe seeing you INDIRECTLY caused me to catch pnuemonia, but that didn't kill my baby."
"I didn't pull the IV line out on purpose or anyhting, but I think I did it inconsiously. I really didn't want that baby, no matter how innocent it was it was a reminder of the rape. I refused to have an abortion, but I think this maybe be an abortion on my part. I didn't want that life growing within me."
"I know you must think me horrible right now. I didn't want to tell you this, but you have to realize, this is all my fault, not yours."
Liz didn't turn around, seh didn't want to see the disgust in the only man she would ever love's eyes. She couldn't stand to see how much she ahd disappointed him and herself.
She felt a hadn on her shoulder. Lucky turned her around, but she wouldn't look at him. Lucky put his hand under her chin, adn forced her to look at him. Despite her vow not to, she looked up at him. Through ehr tears, she could see straight into his deep blue eyes. THere was no disgust there, only love and concern.
Liz let out a small soba nd Lucky gahtered her in his arms, "I'm such an evil person, how can you love me?"
He jsut hugged her tighter, "You're not evil Elizabeth, not at all. Your emotions were normal, you did not kill your baby. Intentionally or otherwise."
She shook her head, "I didn't want it Lucky, I really didn't." she adh to make him understand.
"Liz, it's perfectly understandable you didn't want the baby, but you didn't kill it. Deep down you know that, you just want to be able to blame yourself for the death."
Then he just held her as she sobbed, releasing all the pent up emotion she had felt. The miscarriage, and all the other grief she ahd gone through.
AS Lucky held her, Liz thought that only hours before she had been contemplating taking her own life. Imagine if Lucky hadnb't want her to know that he was alive. She would ahve died in vain, not knowing her beloved was still alive. This reminded her uncannily of Romeo adn Juliet, they ahd read the play back in her gr 9 year. She burrowed her head deeper into Lucky's shoulder. She would tell him evetually, but she couldn't bring herself to do it just yet.
They were still clinging together when Nik re-entered the room. He coughed discreetly and they pulled, reluctantly, apart.
"It's set," he told them, "we've got a place to stay."
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