Lucky sat in his room, his facce in his hands. He had come so close to contacting Elizabeth. There was no hope now, none. He would not risk Lulu and ELizabeth's lives just to try and gain his freedom.
He tried to think of what had been so familiar about the part of a city he ahd just had been out in. It seemed like he ahd been there before.
He then remembered. Lucky had been there on one fo his errands for SOnny. THis building was in Quebec city. He had visited taht very cafe to deliver a package for Sonny.
This was horrible. He was no longer in PC where he had a fighting chance of getting home to warn everyone before scar-face struck. It would take him to long to get home from here, especially without a car or plane to take him, taht is assuming he could ever get out again.
He couldn't fathom never seeing Elizabeth again. Imagine how she must be feeling, thinking he was dead. It had been only days before when they had been in New York. Deliriously happy.
TO be honest with himself, Lucky knew Liz had been ready to go further that night in New York, but he had wanted to. Really bad. It hit him now, especially now, that they wouldn't be each other's first anymore. Liz would find someone else. It was inevitable.
*Flaskback*
(Liz and Lucky enter their motel room)
Liz: You know I’d better call Gram. She is not gonna believe me and totally freak out.
Lucky: Why don’t you just tell her the truth, you know, I mean, we missed the bus.
Liz: Lucky, how did we miss the bus?
Lucky: Do you want me to call?
Liz: Ok.
Lucky: I didn’t want to call, I was just being nice.
(next scene)
Liz: Saved by the answering machine. Ok, so I didn’t mention the part about the one room.
Lucky: That’s alright, we’ve done it before…slept in the same room. And like before I’ll take the floor and you can have the bed. You hungry?
Liz: Mmhmm.
Lucky: There’s a barbeque joint right around the corner, we could go there. Or we could order room service (he looks at the prices on the menu) Maybe not.
Liz: Well, do you think we could afford to have food delivered. I mean, it’s just one of those things you have to do when you live in NY. At least everyone does in the movies.
Lucky: That’s perfect.
Liz: You know, I absolutely love being here. I’m so glad you came up with the idea of delivering my submissions in person instead of mailing them. Being here has made it so real. I think we could actually live here. And I loved sitting in all those classes.
Lucky: I could tell.
Liz: And I wasn’t even intimidated you know. I love the way everyone was so creative and that one instructor…
Lucky: Even the art history class was cool.
Liz: Wasn’t that cool?
Lucky: You know for me it’s like the energy here, like things are happening. Anything is possible.
Liz: That’s our neighborhood down there Lucky.
Lucky: I’d live anywhere with you. (He kisses her cheek)
(next scene) (getting ready to eat their takeout)
Liz: Lucky, these don’t look right. How come the sauce isn’t all nice and brown. It’s kinda bright and orangy. And they’re so tiny.
Lucky: I guess they’re babybacks.
Liz: But there’s no meat on these Lucky. You go first.
Lucky: Let’s do it together.
Liz: Ok. (they eat) Eww, yuck.
Lucky: That’s not right.
Liz: Gross.
Lucky: We’re gonna have to fly in Eli’s.
Liz: Well, you know, the fries look good. Let’s just eat the fries. (there’s an awkward moment of silence) Do you want to talk about it?
Lucky: Wanna go first?
Liz: Alright. I can’t stop thinking about what happened between us the other night.
Lucky: And when you think about it, is it in a good way or a bad way?
Liz: Good.
Lucky: Good, cause I never want to do something that makes you uncomfortable.
Liz: I think it kinda just goes with the territory. I trust you.
Lucky: Thanks. I always want to honor that trust Elizabeth. I did something once I never told you about. Now look, I did it because I didn’t want to put any pressure on you. Ok, you know your boss Tammy. And you know what she used to do before she started working at Kelly’s?
Liz: What?
Lucky: She was a working girl, professional. I know this because I went to see her once.
(next scene)
Liz: Tammy’s a hooker?
Lucky: Was.
Liz: And you went to see her.
Lucky: Nothing happened, ok. Something happened, but not sex. Going to see her… This sounds very weird, I know. It was telling her about you that made me realize what I feel for you is love. Not the friend to friend kind of thing. The kind that 50 years later you’re holding hands walking down the street and there’s never been anyone else. The reason I went was we had just been to the No-Name and you looked… To describe how you look would only cheapen the reality. I couldn’t breathe Elizabeth. Looking at you. I wasn’t expecting that. I wasn’t ready for that. The way it felt when we danced, I didn’t know what to do. I panicked. I didn’t want to put any pressure on you so I went and I saw Tammy. It was a mistake, and I’m sorry.
Liz: Once again Lucky, you amaze me. So you said you didn’t sleep with her, but what did you do? Did you kiss her?
Lucky: No, no. I ended up telling her about you. Now see, it was telling her that made me realize what was happening.
Liz: What was happening?
Lucky: I was in love with you. I should’ve known. I should’ve known when I wrote “Elizabeth” in the boxcar. You’d just be there painting I could stare at you for days. I should’ve known. I mean, when you had ribs for the first time. When you fixed me dinner at Kelly’s.
Liz: That was awful. I’m surprised you didn’t have to have your stomach pumped.
Lucky: Yeah, it was pretty bad. I remember earlier that night, when you went to the kitchen and I was standing in the middle of the room, noticing how you put the candles on the table and I thought, Man I can not be feeling this way. But you see I didn’t actually admit it to myself until I was with Tammy. I mean, I didn’t tell her that I love you, but I realized it. I admitted it to me. And then I didn’t want to give her anything, Elizabeth. I wanted it to be with you. Not then, whenever. To be with someone else once I knew how I felt about you was incomprehensible.
Liz: So, what happened?
Lucky: I paid her for her time and I left. I met you on the docks and you said you wanted to go to the carnival.
Liz: I remember that day. You said you had an appointment and it got finished a lot faster than you expected. You came back with this dopey grin on your face. I didn’t know why. The look in your eyes, it was different.
Lucky: I love you. And I’m sorry.
(next scene) (Lucky is putting his blankets and pillow on the floor)
Lucky: This is good, this should be all I need right there. I could go pick some food up for you since the ribs weren’t that great. I know you wanted to go on one of those carraige rides. You could go..
Liz: We could just stay here.
Lucky: I’m glad you got to take your submissions to the school in person, that’s cool. I’m glad we’re here. Good night. (she grabs his hand)
Liz: I love you.
Lucky: Elizabeth, I am so sor.. (she kisses him)
(It gets really hot and heavy. they fall back on the bed, kissing intently)
Lucky: Are you ok? (they continue kissing)
Liz: Do you need to go to the store first?
Lucky: Well, um, actually, no, I mean I have one. Are you sure? Cause we don’t have to do this Elizabeth. (she answers him by pulling him back into a kiss)
Lucky: Elizabeth, wait. If you’re not sure about this, then neither am I.
Liz: I thought I was.
Lucky: No, it’s ok, it’s ok. You don’t have to explain, I think I know anyway
Liz: You do?
Lucky: I feel the same way
Liz: Honest, you’re not just saying that to make me feel better.
Lucky: No,
Liz: Sorry for disappointing you.
Lucky: What are you talking about? You could never.
Liz: It’s just, our first time, I wanted it to be special.
Lucky: It will be
Liz: Not that this isn’t special. But something that we’ll remember for the rest of our lives. Whenever I think about, and I do think about it. I just want it to be in a place that we both know. You know, in a place that means something to us surrounded by candles and the light bouncing off the wall. Am I too goopy to live?
Lucky: No, you’re perfect. I don’t think you’re listening, I’m not disappointed. Well, I mean, maybe a little, but I’m with you on this Elizabeth. If it doesn’t feel right to either or both of us, then it’s not, it’s that simple. We’re only gonna get one first time. That’s it, and i want it to be sacred.
Liz: I know one thing. I will never love anyone as much as I love you right now. (Lucky takes her into his arms as they lay on the bed)
(next scene)
Liz: Can you just tell me one more time that I didn’t lead you on or let you down?
Lucky: Not even a little Elizabeth. We both want the same thing- to wait until it’s right. We’ll be glad we did, I know it.
Liz: I learned something very important tonight.
Lucky: What?
Liz: When I used to think about making love to you. I was always worried, what if it sends me careening backwards into the rape? Well, now I know it’s not going to. It doesn’t have that much power over me anymore. You made the hurt go away Lucky. How do I thank you for that?
Lucky: It’s easy…stay with me always.
Liz: You’re right, that’s easily do-able. (they kiss)
Lucky: So, what do we want to do with what’s left of our first night in Manhattan?
Liz: Well, the hotel has a video library, we could stay up all night and watch movies.
Lucky: I got a better idea. Why don’t we hit the streets, soak in the atmosphere, see what this city really feels like.
Liz: You’re right, it’s a much better idea, come on. (they kiss and leave the room)
*End flashback*
Lucky sighed, flopping back on the bed. He knew he could ahev never pressured, but it would have been nice to have that one night together, even though there may not be any more.
*****************************************************
Liz sat on the couch silently, holding the acceptance letter in her hand. This should be the happiest moment of her life, instead it was one of hte saddest.
Fine, she was grateful they thought her work was good enough, but she didn't think she could accept this. How was she supposed to survivr in New York without Lucky? How could she live with the memories of their plans.
"THis isn't supposed to be happening," she whispered softly, "It's not."
She wasn't supposed to be feeling this pain. She wasn't supposed to be filled with sadness at the prospect of being accepted into one of the most prestigious art schools in the country. She wasn't supposed to lose the love in her life as a teenager.
Liz heard a key turn in the front door. She looked up to see Gram come in. Audrey hung up her coat, then saw Elizabeth sitting silently on the couch.
"Hello dear," she said, not realizing Liz's somber mood.
Wordlessly Elizabeth handed her accpetance letter to Gram. Audrey read it, and understood immediately.
"Come here dear," she said sympathetically, sitting beside Elizabeth in hte couch and enveloping her in a hug.
"I know this just reminds you of Lucky," Audrey said, "but this is a wonderful opprotunity. You shouldn't dismiss the possibility of going."
Liz pulled away, aghast, "How could you even suggest such a thing?"
"Elizabeth," Audrey began, trying to calm her, "I just think you sould think about this seriously before you dismiss this opprotunity entirely. Lucky wouldn't have wanted you to stop living your life"
"Gram, don't you see?" Liz cried, anguished, "I have no life without him. I could never amke it in NY on my own. I am nothing without him. He was my life, my love, everything."
Liz pulled away, and ran up the stairs, leaving Audrey staring after her in pain. She would never suggest Liz forget Lucky, but life went on, it had for her.
Liz sat on the floor of her room, staring out the window pensively. Unconsiously her hand flew to the necklace. It would be her pillar of strength throughout everything. It was her link to Lucky, to the life she once had.
No I can't forget this evening,
Or your face as you were leaving.
But I guess that's just the way the story goes.
You always smile but in you eyes your sorrow shows.
Yes it shows.
No I can't forget tomorrow,
When I think of all my sorrow,
When I had you there but then I let you go.
And now it's only fair that I should let you know
What you should know
I can't live, if living is without you.
I can't give, I can't give any more.
Can't live, if living is without you.
Can't give, I can't give any more.
No I can't forget this evening,
Or your face as you were leaving.
But I guess that's just the way the story goes.
You always smile but in you eyes your sorrow shows.
Yes it shows.
I can't live, if living is without you.
I can't give, I can't give any more.
Can't live, if living is without you.
Can't give, I can't give any more.
I can't live, if living is without you.
I can't give, I can't give any more.
Can't live, if living is without you.
Can't give, I can't give any more.
Liz sat there, staring out into the starry night, not realizing that just north, one man was lying on his bed thinking about her.
*******************************************************
Lucky lay there. Life sucked. THe statement was not eloquently put, but it summed it all up. He'd had it all, gone up in a 'puff of smoke'. What kind of live would he have here in this prison? Days, weeks, months, years, cramped up in this little room.
He ahd believed in angels watching over him, but now he realized that was all a bunch of crap. Angels were a child's fantast and had no place in the realities of life.
Liz sat up as the door opened and Scar-Face walked in.
"I take it you've decided to come to your senses and behave?" Scar-Face said.
Lucky nodded tersely, 'How do I know you'll keep your word and leave my loved ones alive?"
Scar-Face seemed to ponder the question, "We'll do waht we did for your funeral. Occasional tapes of your loved ones satisfactory?"
Lucky shrugged, "I guess it will have to do. Since I'm obviously not going anywhere, will you tell me your name? I can't keep rreferring to you as Scar-Face in my mind.
Scar-Face snorted, "Like I'd actually tell you that. You may refer to me as Julius if you'd like. THat name serves my purposes as well as any."
AS he turned to leave he said, "Oh by the way, I will give you some news from back home. Your girlfrined just got a letter from that Art Acandemy she applied to. She was accepted."
Before Lucky could reply, he was gone. The door locked behind him.
Another blow to him. New York, Elizabeth there without him. Or worse yet, her giving up on her dream because of him. AS much as he wanted to share NY with her, nothing would be worse thatn her giving up on her dream of being an artist.
*******************************************************
Liz sat on her front porch the next morning, contemplating whether it was worht it to go to school.
SHe looked up in surprise as she heard a voice call her name, "Hey Liz."
It was Nikolas, "Hey Nik. What are you doing here?"
"I just wanted to ask you if you were working tonight on my way to work."
Liz nodded,"Yeah, I have the supper shift."
"I'll see you later then." Nik said.
"You really don't have to walk me home," Liz insisted, embarassed,"I'm sure you have better things to do."
"Than making sure you get home safely?" Nik laughed, "Nah, I lead a pretty boring life now."
Liz smiled, but her heart wasn't in it. Nik seemed to sense her mood.
"What's wrong Liz?" he asked.
Liz decided to tell him,"I got a letter yesterday, from the art school. I'm accepted."
"Are you going to go?" Nik questioned her.
Liz waved her ahdn, "I don't know. I don't think I can do it. Not by myself. But Gram really wants me to go. She says I souldn't stop living ym life."
"Well, she's right on that," Nik said,"You can't stop your life on account of Lucky's death. But it's up to yuo whether you want to go to NY or not."
"Besides," he said, pulling her to her feet, "If you do decide to go to NY, me.. and Em will miss you. Now come on, I'll drop you off at school on my way to Deception."
Liz sighed, she guessed she'd attend classes. Besides, it's nice to see Emily. She hadn't talked to her in such a long time.
****************************************************
Lucky lay there, still, not knowing how he would survive the coming years.
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