Liz woke up as the dawn broke, filling the boxcar with sulight. She looked around confused, waht was she doing here in the boxcar?
All of a sudden it came back to her, all of it. It hit her like a sledgehammer in the chest. Lucky was dead as of last night. Her one love, her best friend was gone so quickly.
She looked down at the necklace she still held, clutched tightly in her hand. Lucky and Elizabeth forever, the inscription said. Liz's eyes filled with tears, some forever this was turning out to be. Not even a year as a couple, that did not equal forever.
She rocked back and forth on the boxcar floor, in physical and mental anguish. French class, her grandmother, everyhting was irrelevant compared to this. Why should go on living when he was dead? Not only that, if it wasn't for her he never would have lit those candles in his room, and he would still be alive, meeting her for breakfast at this very moment.
She knew she should go tell Taggert about the candles, but she couldn't make herself leave this boxcar. It was one of her few links to Lucky, one of last places she would be able to feel his presence.
SHe heard footsteps coming up to the boxcar opening. Liz tensed, she wasn't ready to talk to anyone. Her grief was too raw.
Nikolas hoisted himself up into the boxcar.
"Hello Liz," he said gently, "Everyone is looking for you."
Liz wiped the tears from her face, "How did you find me?"
"We'd checked nearly everywhere else, I had a hunch you might come here though when you didn't come home alst night. Everyone's really worried about you Liz, your grandmother has been up all night, sick with worry."
Liz tried to stand, but her legs wouldn't hold her up. They were stiff with the single position she had held all night. Nik caught her before she could collapse.
"YOu shouldn't ahve stayed here last ngiht Liz," he said, sitting down wiht her on the floor, "You could ahev caught pneumonia or somehting."
"What does it matter?" Liz laughed bitterly, "Lucky's gone. I need him Nikolas."
Nik put his arm around her shoulders, "Liz, you can survive without him. You have me, Em and yours and Lucky's family looking out for you. Their are otehr poeple who care Liz, not just Lucky."
Liz eyes watered, "But he cared so much. I can't love anyone else as I did him."
"In a way I understand Liz. I will never have a younger brother again, well, at least not one like him. I had just found him, just like you, and now he's gone."
LIz's voice was bleak, and full of despair, "But at least you don't ahve all this guilt riding on your shoulders. If it wasn't for me he'd still be alive!"
Nik shook his head, "Liz, you can't think like that. It was not your fault in any way."
Liz lept to her feet, "No Nik, it is my fault! He lit a candle and called me to tell me it lit up hte room like me, I told him to light another one for me! He would still be alive right now."
<>
"Liz," Nik said firmly, standing beside her, "it's not. your. fault. Understand taht. I know it's easier to place blame, but it won't help."
Liz was in a faroff place though, remembering Lucky. All of their times together seemed as if they'd occured only yesterday.
"Nikolas," she said dreamily, "Remember Christmas time?"
Nik took a step closer to her, "Yeah Liz I do."
"You know, that was our first CHristmas together. Actually the first for you too as actual brothers too."
"Liz, please, don't do this to yourself, or to me." Nik pleaded, tears springing in his eyes as he recalled the joy at Christmas time.
*Flashback*
E=Elizabeth, L=Lucky, Nik=Nikolas Em=Emily
(Lucky's apartment, Liz hands him his present)
L: Ok, ok. (he starts unwrapping the present slowly)
E: Oh, gheesh, you’re one of those..C’mon, just open it, open it! (she helps him by tearing off the rest of the wrapping paper)
L: What are you doing (then he sees the picture Liz painted of the boxcar)
E: Tada (she smiles)
L: You did this?
E: It’s my first oil, is it ok?
L: Are you kidding? This is magnificent! You’re sittin’ on some talent.
E: Not really, except maybe as a sneak. You would not believe how hard it was for me to pull this off without you finding out. I couldn’t paint in my bedroom cause I was afraid you were gonna come through my window any second. So, I had to paint downstairs in the living room with the drapes closed. (she walks over next to Lucky and points to the picture) You see, these are..
L: ...Musical notes.
E: Not just any arbitrary musical notes. That’s the first chord of the song you wrote for me (pointing to music notes painted on the side of the boxcar). I know because I went to the music teacher and I played the first part of the tape for her..don’t worry, I stopped it before you started singing, and she helped me transcribe it.
L: I’m completely blown away. (pause) I got something for you too. But it’s nothing like this.
E: Ooohh, I love Christmas!!! Here. (she takes the painting and puts it on Lucky’s bed).
L: Ok, now, if you don’t like it, you don’t have to keep it, we can get another one...
E: Oh, Lucky, can I just please have my present! (totally excited and full of energy with a HUGE smile on her face) (he hands it to her) Thank you. (she opens the box and sees the jewelry box inside, she throws the package wrapping on the bed and opens the jewelry box)
L: I know it seems simple, that’s what i like about it. I told the guy at the jewelry shop that it’s for simply the most beautiful girl in the world.
E: Lucky, it’s perfect. (scene ends with them looking at each other)
E: How could you think for a second that I wouldn’t love this?? (she removes the ring from the box) This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever owned.
L: I know we agreed not to see other people a while back, I just wanted to make it official. I wanted you to have something you could wear that tells you that we belong together. Something you can look at anytime day or night that reminds you how much you’ve changed my life...and how much I love you.
E: (Elizabeth looks up)You just said you love me.
L: I know. You don’t have to say it back. I mean, you don’t even have to love me back. I mean you can consider this just an ordinary best friends ring, um, I just thought you oughta know.
E: Lucky, I thought you already knew. I am in love with you, I have been all along. (ends with them looking at each other, both a little teary-eyed)
L: You just said you love me.
E: I do. I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time..I just didn’t know how.
L: Me too. (he moves closer and rubs his hand against her cheek) I love you.
E: I love you too. (he takes the ring and puts it on her finger and then holds her hands)
L: I want you to know something, so you’ll never have to question it. There will never be another girl for me. Never. (he kisses her hand)
E: Do you remember when we first met? And you said your name’s Lucky...
L: And you said “we’ll see” (smiling)
E: Well it turns out I’m the one who’s Lucky. (she kisses him : )
(there’s a knock at the door)
L: I think we have guests
E: Well, I suppose we(emphasized) better let them in.
L: I suppose we should.
Nik: Sorry we’re late, it was my fault.
E: That’s no problem (she gives Lucky this little look grinning)
Em: Umm, we have to hurry this up cause Mom was telling me how she’s trying to rope Grandfather into being Santa Claus for the Christmas holiday party at the hospital. We don’t wanna miss that.
E: Well, lets go..Emily, look at what Lucky gave me, (she holds out her hand)
Em: Omigosh, that is so beautiful.
E: I know (she gives lucky a great big smile)
Em: Ok, Liz. (she hands her a present) That’s for someone who has become a very good friend to me in the last year. Thank you and Merry Christmas!
L: Ok, I’m gonna help this along a little bit. (to Nik): You wanna pass your gifts out or else we’re gonna be here until New Years. If anyone has any mushy stuff to say we can do it in the car on the way to the hospital. You brought your Jag right?
Nik: Yeah.
L: Yeah, well why don’t you let me and Elizabeth ride up front for once. I’ll drive. That’ll cover us for the next year.
E: Emily, I love this! (she holds up a little blue top)
Em: Good! When I saw that I thought it’d look perfect on you! Kinda like a symbol of your recovery.
E: It is, it’s perfect.
L: Oh, this is obviously from Emily(holding a present)
E: No wait wait. Before you open that, the two of you(Nik and Lucky) have to exchange a gift.
Em: Right, girl/girl, guy/guy.
L: What?
Nik: You mean there’s an order to this.
Em: Uh, always.
Nik:You didn’t get me anything?
L: Did you get me something?
N: No.
L: I got you the same thing.
E: Wait, wait wait, it just so happens that Lucky did get you something (she hands a gift to Nik)
Em: And you know what? Nikolas got you something too. (she hands Lucky a gift)
E: What would they do without us?
Em: Well, obviously not get each other anything. (Em laughs)
(scene opens with Liz setting up the camera Nik got her for Christmas, Nik has an “ELQ” hat on)
E: Ok, how are we for time?
L: Well, if the lights are with us, we should be fine, right?
Em: Nikolas, it’s a music box.
Nik: Yeah, and it plays Strauss Opus 51.
Em: Isn’t that the music we danced to at the Bachanalia?
Nik: Yeah.
E: Let me see. (Nik walks over to Lucky by the door)
Nik: How are the strings man? (he got Lucky guitar strings for xmas)
L: Oh, very appropriate. It’s you (he points to the hat).
Nik: Oh, yeah, the best part’s gonna be the look on my uncle’s face when I wear it around the house.
L: You wouldn’t.
Nik: Oh, I would, I’m crazy. (he smiles) You guys need help over there?
E: No, that’s ok, we’re getting it (still adjusting the camera).
L: It was nice of you to get that for her.
Nik: Thanks.
L: This is one for the books, huh?
Nik: What?
L: Us, hanging out on Christmas Eve.
Nik: Yeah, well, if you wanna get even weirder, you and Elizabeth are welcome to come over to Wyndemere tonight, Laura and Lesley Lu are there-I invited them over for dinner.
L: Thanks, but I’ve got plans for a smaller celebration.
Nik: Can’t say I blame you.
E: Ok, you guys I think that’s it. Now, go on go get on the bed. Ok, are you ready? C’mon get close, close close. Ok, ready. Alright, ready or not here I come. (she hops on the bed behind Em and Lucky after setting the timer on the camera, and the picture is taken)
*end flashback*
Nik had tears in his eyes, threatening to spill, "That was the best Christmas of my life."
Liz had her arms wrapped around herslef, "MIne too." Her voice shook, "Not only was it our first Christmas, it was also our last."
Nik hugged Liz tightly to him as the both cried, remembering the loss they shared. Brother, lover, it hurt nearly just as much
Liz burrowed her head into Nik's shoulder. Why did it ahve to hurt so mcuh? Even though the pain threatened to overwhelm her, she would never trade a moment with Lucky for anything.
Ni felt the same way. Even though if he was still at odds with his brother, it wouldn't hurt as much, he still was grateful for the time they were able to spend together.
Eventually they pulled apart, Nik hands still resting on her shoulders. "LEt's get you home, okay? BEfore they call in the FBI."
Liz nodded mutley, trying to compose herself. She would not break down again. She would be strong.
Nik lept from the boxcar first and lifted her down. SHe mumbled her thanks and walked away, Nik trailing behind.
THe driveway tp the house held a squad car. Liz took a deep breaht adn walked in the door, Nik close behind.
Taggert sat with her grandmother on the couch. They both stood up as Liz walked in the house. Audrey ran over to her grandmother, hugging her tightly. "I'm so sorry Elizabeth, I was at GH when I heard."
Liz hugged her tightly, "I'm okay Gram, well at least as Okay as I can be."
"Are you sure dear?"
Liz nodded, "Yes. I am sorry for making you all worry, but I'm really tired. I'd like to go to bed now."
Audrey nodded, confused, "Allright Elizabeth, I'll be up in a minute."
She watched as her grand-daughter wearily climbed the stairs. She turned to Nikolas, "Where was she?"
"She was at the boxcar Mrs.Hardy," Nik explained.
"BOxcar?" Taggert asked.
"Lucky lived there for awhile before he got his room above the bike shop," AUdrey said. "Liz and him spent a lot of time together there."
"I see," TAggert said, looking sadly towards the stairs Liz had just climbed. "COuld you call me when she waked up MrsHardy? I ahve some stuff I need to ask her."
Audrey nodded, "Of course Leuitenant."
Taggert nodded to Nikolas and let himself out the door. Nikolas smiled sadly at Audrey and followed him.
Adurey walked up the stairs. She paused outside Liz' door. She was about to knock, but instead opened the door quietly.
Liz lay on the bed, her back turned to the door. SHe was curled up in the fetal poistion, her arms around her knees. She was sobbing as if her heart would break, Audrey felt such compassion as she watched the pain Liz was goign through. She felt so helpless, not being able to do anything except be there for her. SHe walked over to the bed and sat down, putting an ar on Liz's shoulder. This seemed to mae Liz cry all the harder.
Lucky had not been gone for a full day yet and already she missed him. His laugh, is smile, the look in his eyes when he looked at her. SO there she lay, with her grandmother by ehr side, sobbing for the man she'd love forever.
{Puff}
Seems like yesterday we used to rock the show
I lace the track you lock the flow
So far from hanging on the block of dough
Notorious they got to know that
Life ain't always as they seem to be
Words can't express what you mean to me
And though you're gone
We still a team
Through your family I'll fulfill your dreams
In the future can't wait to see
If you'll open up the gates for me
Remenice sometime
The night they took my friend
Try to black it out but it plays again
When it's weird feelin' it's really hard to conceil
Can't imagine all the pain I feel
Give everything to hear half your breath
I know you still livin' your life after death
CHORUS:
{Faith}
Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
Every time I pray
I'll be missing you
Thinking of the day
When you went away
What a life to take
What a bond to break
I'll be missing you
{Puff}
It's kind of hard wit you not around
Know you in heaven smilin' down
Watchin' us while we pray for you
Everyday we pray for you
Till the day we meet again
In my heart is where I'll keep you friend
Memories give me the strength I need to proceed
Strength I need to believe
My thoughts big I just can't define
Wish I could turn back the hands of time
Bust in the 6
Shop for new clothes and kicks
You and me taking flicks
Making hits stages they receive you on
Still can't believe you're gone
Give anything to hear half your breath
I know you still livin' your life after death
CHORUS:
{Faith}
Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
Every time I pray
I'll be missing you
Thinking of the day
When you went away
What a life to take
What a bond to break
I'll be missing you
Somebody tell me why
One day morning
When this life is over
I know
I'll see your face
CHORUS X4
{112}
Every night I pray
Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
CHORUS:
{Faith}
Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
Every time I pray
I'll be missing you
Thinking of the day
When you went away
What a life to take
What a bond to break
I'll be missing you
Comments are wanted!
© 1999 kathryn789@hotmail.com
Get your own Free Home Page