Ch. 19
Sonny looked down at his sleeping son. He was so peaceful. They said he
was going to be fine and that he could go home tomorrow. He thanked god
for that. He stoked his son's hair.
"Daddy?"
"Hey pal, how ya feeling?"
Sonny looked into the eyes of his oldest son. He felt a pang of sadness
as he remembered the one they lost.
~~~~" I'm sorry Mr. Cortez, but your son didn't make it. He was just too
small. Your wife is asking for you."
Sonny wiped the tears away. "Thank you."
He went into to see Brenda. She was facing the window. It was his fault
that they had lost him. the organization had caught up with them and he
had to move them quickly. But Brenda had been caught in the crossfire.
She had been shot and had lost to much blood. the only way to save her
was to deliver the baby. In the end his lifestyle had cost him his first
2 children and his first wife.
She was sleeping.
"Baby?"
"Sonny? where's my baby?"
"Sweetheart, listen to me."
"where is he? The nurse let me hold him , but then she took him away.
Where is he? Where's my baby?"
"Sweetheart, he's gone."
"What?" she asked through her tears. ~~~~~
It had killed him to tell her that, but then a year later Stone had been
born and then Sam, Katie and Maddie, and it made it easier. But every
year on the anniversary of his death, no matter where they were Brenda lit
a candle and said a prayer for her baby. Her baby with no name.
"Dad? Where's mommy?"
!~!~!~!~!~~!
Brenda laid and stared at the ceiling, reliving her nightmare. she remembered
the night her son was born, and the night he died. She remembered Sonny,
and how supportive he had been. But she also remembered what had just
occurred. Because of him she had lost one child and now she was about to
lose another. She never thought that she could hate him, but right now,
she did. His words burned into her memory.
"I always knew Lily would have been a better mother than Brenda."
"Well, Sonny, this is the last time you hurt me. You are never going to
get another chance to do that. This time we play by my rules and this
time you are the one that's going to lose."
CH 20- A few weeks later
Sonny sat up in bed with a groan. Someone was banging on the door to
his apartment. He’d moved into the old one above Luke’s. He stumbled
out into the living room and yelled.
"Keep your pants on. I’m coming.." He opened the door to find a small
wiry man with glasses standing out in the hall. "Can I help you?"
"Michael Corinthos, Jr.?"
"Yeah?"
"You’ve just been served." He handed him some papers and left. Sonny
closed the door and tore open the envelope. He took out the papers and
read them.
"No, she wouldn’t do this. Not like this." But the words were there.
She was suing him for divorce and for custody of the kids. Sole
custody. He threw the papers across the room and they were followed by
glass. Then he sat down on the couch with his hands in his head and
thought about the last few weeks. First she had had him banned from the
hospital, saying he was a danger to her and to Stone, then Mike had
forbidden him to step foot inside the house to see Sam, Katie, and
Maddie. Their other daughter was hanging on and from what Jason had
told him the doctors were getting more optimistic that she would live.
Brenda had named her Faith Veronica. He wasn’t even allowed to see her.
No this wasn’t going to happen. He was going to see his son, his
daughter and then he was going to apologize for being a jackass and beg
his wife for forgiveness.
(#(#(#(#(#(#
Brenda smiled at her tiny daughter. She was getting better all the time
and stronger. The doctors were a lot more hopeful that she was going to
live then they had been before.
"Bren?" She turned to see Lois.
"Hey Lo. What’s up?"
"Nothing much. When was the last time you slept?"
"I got a few hours here and there last night."
"Sweetie this isn’t good for you. You need to rest."
"I don’t want to leave her."
"You don’t have to. Monica is willing to let you use her office. She
has a cot in there and I’ll stay here with Faith. I won’t leave her.
I’ll teach her how to say Aunt Lois."
"Well….."
"Go."
"Oh okay." She smiled at her best friend. "Thanks Lo."
"No problem." Brenda hugged her and then she started down the hall.
She came around a corner and banged into Sonny.
"Sonny." She started to walk around him and he grabbed her arm. "Let
go of me or I’ll have someone call security."
"I’m not gonna let you do this Brenda. Not now. Not ever."
Ch. 21
""you don't have a choice! I already did it!" Brenda hissed.
"You can't keep me from my kids!"
"I will do whatever I have to keep my children alive. You already
cost me one son, I won't let you take another."
That hit Sonny below the belt. He felt her anger and her contempt for
him, and he was returning it.
"You don't want to do this Brenda. I won't let you do this."
"I gave up my life for you! I gave up my friends, my career and it still
wasn't enough for you! I gave you everything I had to give and it was
never good enough and I don't know what you want from me anymore!"
"You don't know what I want? I want my family back! I want to be able to
see my kids!" He said growing more angry. He was squeezing her arms and
then he saw the tears in her eyes.
"Let go of me! You're hurting my arms!!"
"Hey what the hell is going on here?!" Lois said as she came running out
of the hospital nursery.
Sonny let go of Brenda who immediately grabbed her arms and started
rubbing them. He could she her tears and he knew she was afraid of him.
After 14 years she was terrified of him. And he was scared too. He had
hurt the one thing he loved most in the world.
"Brenda, I'm sorry. I never meant-"
"Stay away from me!"
"Bren-"
"I think you should leave Sonny." Lois said as she put a protective arm
around Brenda.
Sonny turned around and started to leave the hospital. He stopped and
turned around.
'
"this isn't over Brenda. Not by a long shot."
!!!!!
Sonny went to the park and watched the kids play. He missed his kids,
his wife. He missed waking up next to her in the morning. He missed the
hectic Corinthos' breakfasts in the mornings. He couldn't go on this
way, he had to do something, anything. He stood up and headed back to
the hospital.
Ch.22
Sonny walked down the hall towards the nursery and once he reached the
window he stopped and peeked in. Lois was standing by Faith’s crib. He
knocked lightly on the window. She looked up and rolled her eyes and
then she walked into the hall.
"Whadda ya want Sonny?"
"Where is she?"
"I convinced he to go and take a nap."
"Where?"
"None of your business."
"Lois, please. I need to talk to her and try and explain."
"Explain what? That you think she’s a lousy mother, that you wished
Lily was the mother of your children. Let me tell you something
Corinthos, I love you like a brother but Brenda is my best friend and
she gave up ten years of her life for you. To be with you and it wasn’t
enough for you. You know something Corinthos you’re selfish."
"Selfish?"
"Selfish. Brenda gave you everything she had and that wasn’t good
enough for you. She was the best mother she knew how to be and
considering everything I think she did all right. Now if you want to
apologize for being a jackass I will tell you where she is. If you want
to upset her again you can go to hell. And don’t even think about lying
to me Sonny because if you do I’ll hurt you."
"I want to find her so we can talk."
"Will the words ‘I’m sorry for being a pigheaded moronic jackass’ be a
part of this conversation?"
"Possibly."
"Yes or no Corinthos?"
"Yes."
"She’s up in Monica’s office taking a nap. In case you didn’t notice
she looks like hell." Lois whirled around and went back into the
nursery. Sonny walked towards the cardiac wing hoping that Brenda would
talk to him.
#)#)#)#)#)#)
Sonny quietly opened the door to Monica’s office. Brenda was fast
asleep on the cot that had been brought in. He knelt down next to her
and brushed the hair from her eyes. He thought of all the times he had
watched her sleep. With a jolt he realized that this might be the last
time. He had come so close to losing her so many times before and this
time she might never come back to him. He couldn’t lose her. Not now.
Not after they had been through so much together. He leaned down and
gently brushed his lips against hers. Her eyes fluttered open and
focused on him.
"What are you doing here?"
"I came to talk to you."
"There’s nothing to talk about."
"There’s a lot to talk about. Brenda I was a jerk and I deserved every
slap and punch Mike and Robin gave me. But I’m sorry and I love you and
I want to try and fix things with us. Can we? Please?"
Ch. 23
"Sonny, you can't fix things with an apology anymore. You hurt me so
much with the things you said-"
"Brenda, I never meant them!"
"You had to have meant them on some level Sonny or you wouldn't have
said anything like that at all!!"
"Brenda, I was scared for my son."
"And I wasn't!!" Brenda was crying now and Sonny was tearing up also.
"sweetheart, I know I was a selfish jerk, but I never meant to hurt you.
I was venting anger and fear. That's all."
"I wish I could believe you, but I can't! There's been too many lies in
our life Sonny! Mainly your 's and I can't deal with them any longer. I
almost lost my baby Sonny, I still might. You know what having a child
and a family means to me! You know how hard I have tried to be the best
mother I know how to be, and considering the last 10 years I think that
I've done pretty well."
"Baby you have done better than that. You are the best mother I know."
"apparently not as good as she would have been." she said softly looking
at the ground.
"What?"
"Sonny, I've often wondered if you wished things had turned out
differently. Ya know, after she died Robin told me how happy you were
that night. How you had let go of me and were happy about your life
with her and your baby. I always wondered if you regretted the fact that
she died instead of me, and now I know that you do. Now, I know that you
wish things had turned out differently."
they were both crying now, Brenda harder than Sonny. She could barely
get the words out, but she was.
" Sonny, I'm not trying to hurt you, really I'm not. But I have to stand
up for myself and my children and that's why I am going ahead with the
divorce."
"Brenda, don't do this! I won't let you do this!!" He said grabbing her
arms and forcing her to look at him.
"Sonny, you don't make my decisions for me anymore. I'm taking back the
life I gave you all those years ago. I'm taking back MY life."
"Brenda I know that your mad. We've been her before remember?? But we
worked through that and will work through this."
"No. It's really over this time." She got up and headed for the door,
but then stopped and turned around. "Can I just ask you something?" he
nodded. " Why wasn't I enough for you? Why was she always better than
me? What made you trust her and believe in her more than me? Did you
ever love me?"
Ch. 24
Brenda waited for Sonny to answer. Instead he just looked at her with a
blank expression on his face.
"I guess not." She turned around and let the door to Monica 's office
slam shut behind her.
Sonny watched her leave. Then the tears came and he put his head in his hands.
!~!~!~!~!
Brenda ran down the hall way sobbing. She finally reached the nursery.
She went in and looked at her tiny daughter. She still looked very weak,
and Brenda was still scared of all the machines Faith was hooked up to.
Brenda put the gown on and entered the preemie unit. She put her hand
through the hole in and touched her baby. Faith grabbed her finger and
tired to suck on it.
"She's getting stronger, Brenda." Brenda turned around to see Bobbie
standing there.
"Bobbie, you startled me. Is she really getting stronger?"
"She sure is."
"when is she going to be able to breath on her own?"
"Well, that really depends. She's doing better than anyone expected, but
she still has a long way to go. How are you doing?"
"Me? I'm fine."
"Really?"
"Yeah, why do you ask?" Brenda was starting to feel uncomfortable.
"Because, Luke told me that you and Sonny were getting a divorce.
Brenda, I know, probably better than anyone, what it's like to get a
divorce. I really am sorry."
"Well, don't be Bobbie. I'm not." she said, although not convincing
either one of them.
"Well, she's sleeping so maybe you should follow the example of your
daughter and get some rest yourself."
"Yeah, I guess, I should go home and see the rest of my brood. I just
want to say good-bye."
"Sure." Bobbie smiled and then left.
Brenda turned to smile at her baby.
"hey sweetie. Mommy has to go home and see your brothers and your
sisters, but I’ll be back soon. So you get some sleep and get stronger
ok?" she blew Faith a kiss and left the nursery.
!~!~!~!~!~!
Sonny knocked on the door.
"Daddy!!!!"
"Hey Katie!! How's my girl?" he said as he picked up his daughter.
"I miss you daddy, when are you coming home?"
"I miss you too!"
Sam and stone came running into the room and hugged their father. They
told him about everything that had been going on and how school was
going.
"So you're going to play soccer, Sam?"
"Yeah. It's really cool! will you come to my games?"
Before Sonny could answer, Brenda came through the doors. She saw Sonny
sitting on the couch with their children and burst into tears. She ran
up to her bedroom and sank down to the floor.
Sonny went up and opened the door.
"Sweetheart? Honey what's the matter?"
Ch 25
"Nothing." She said wiping away tears and putting her back to him.
"Brenda, c’mon this is me. Remember me? Your husband, your best friend
and your lover."
"All rolled into one, right?"
"It used to be."
"I’m scared Sonny. I have never been this scared in my entire life. I
don’t wanna lose another child. I can’t do it again." Sonny walked up
behind her and before he could even touch her she turned around and
threw herself into his arms. He closed them around her and held her
tight.
"I love you." He whispered softly. She pulled back and looked at him.
"What?"
"I’m answering your question. I love you. Never stopped."
"I love you too."
"Baby, listen to me we aren't going to lose her. Or each other."
Brenda, who had been sitting on the floor in Sonny's arms freaked.
"I can't believe you!!! I'm concerned with my daughter's life and
you're using my fear as a weapon!!"
"A weapon!?? What the hell are you talking about?" he answered her, very
confused.
"You are trying to get me to forgive you and stop the divorce. Well it's
not going to happen!! I want you gone!"
"You just told me that you loved me and now you're telling me to get
out??!! I don't know where the hell you're coming from half the time!"
"that's because... that's because you don't listen to me." she stammered
not making sense.
"I don't listen? Brenda, I have no clue why you're yelling at me?"
"I...I just want..." she fainted and fell to the ground.
Ch 26
When Brenda woke up a few hours later the first thing she felt were
Sonny’s arms around her waist and his breath on her neck. Then she
realized she was wearing a green nightgown. It wasn’t exactly the most
modest thing she owned and she felt a little uncomfortable wearing it
when she was in the same bed with her estranged husband. She slowly
began removing his arms but he stubbornly clung to her and pulled her
closer. She sighed, a little frustrated. Then she turned in his arms
and began to shake him a little.
"Sonny? Hey Sonny wake up." He moaned and his eyelids fluttered open.
"Bren?"
"Hi."
"What are you doing?"
"Trying to untangle myself from you."
"Oh. Why?"
"Because I don’t think it’s appropriate for us to be sleeping in the
same bed when we’re getting a divorce."
"We’re not getting a divorce Bren."
"Excuse me. Yes we are. Or did you forget that you received divorce
papers this morning?"
"Don’t you mean yesterday morning? It’s two am."
"What ever. Look do you mind? I’d like to put some clothes on and go
to the hospital."
"Nope."
"What do you mean nope?"
"You’re not going anywhere. I talked to Alan and he said you are on bed
rest for twenty-four hours."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me."
"You had no right to do that."
"Yes I did. I don’t want to see my wife get run down and exhausted."
"I’m not your responsibility anymore."
"You are always going to be my responsibility. Till death do us part,
remember?"
"Oh get serious. You and I are over. We were over the second you told
Robin that you thought Lily would have been a better mother than I was."
"How many times do I have to tell you I’m sorry and that I didn’t mean
it?"
"You could tell me that a hundred times and I still wouldn’t believe you
because in order for you to have said it you had to have meant it on
some level. I’m sorry that she wasn’t the mother of your children and
I’m sorry I was such a big disappointment but I did the best I could and
I’m gonna keep doing it because up until now it’s worked pretty well."
"You are a good mother. You’re the best they could have asked for.
You’re the best I could have asked for."
"It’s no good anymore Sonny. It just won’t work anymore because in the
back of my mind there’s always going to be some doubt when something
happens to one of the kids. Doubt that you think it was my fault and
that if Lily was here it wouldn’t have happened. I won’t live like that
Sonny. I can’t"
"And I can’t live without you. I tried it once. I won’t do it again.
Please Bren, give me another chance. Give us another chance."
Ch. 27
Brenda looked at her soon to be ex-husband. His hair was curly and he
was only wearing a pair of black silk boxers. She noticed he looked at
little thin, like he hadn't been eating.
"Sonny, I'm sorry. I just can't go back to the way things were. I won't
try and forget like none of this happened. I tried that once before. I
still want sole custody of the kids, but you can see them anytime you
want."
He stared at her. The strap on her nightgown had fallen of her shoulder
and her hair laid loosely around her shoulders and down her back. He
noticed the tears on her eyes through the semi-darkness that surrounded
their room.
"Brenda, I don't want to see my kids on weekends and after school. I
want to see them every morning at the table and I want to see you every
morning in OUR bed. I know you don't believe me, but I am sorry. I was
angry and scared and I took it out on you and you will never know how
sorry I am. I know that my word doesn't mean much to you right now, but
if you give us another chance, I will spend the rest of my life proving
how much I love you, and how wrong and sorry I am."
"Sonny, I...I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so confused. I don't
know what you want form me anymore??? I do miss you. You were my best
friend, the one person that I could and did tell anything and everything
to. You were also my lover, protector, the father of my children, you
were the other half of me."
"I still am." he said, his eyes pleading with her.
"no, Sonny. You're not. I heard you in the hospital, and you meant what
you said. And that is just something that I don't think I can ever
forgive."
She got up off the bed and left the room. She wandered down the hall and
checked on Sam and Katie. she then went and checked on Maddie. she
leaned of the railing of the bed and stared at her beautiful little
angel. Maddie had once again kicked all the covers off and was sleeping
on her stomach with her butt in the air. Brenda smiled and then covered
her back up. She didn't know that Sonny had followed her and was
standing in the doorway watching her. It tore his heart out to watch
her. He felt like such an idiot, such a bastard. the things he had said
were so wrong. she was a good mother. She was patient and kind, and
always making sure that the kids were happy and healthy.
Brenda stoked Maddie 's back and then leaned down to kiss her sleeping
daughter’s head.
"good night angel."
she walked out the door and never saw Sonny. He watched as she went
downstairs to sleep on the couch. He walked in and looked at Maddie.
She looked so much like Brenda. He wondered what he would have done if
she had called him a bad father and had said that she wished Jax had
been the father of her children. For the first time, Sonny realized just
how serious this was. And just how close he was to losing everything
that mattered to him.
Ch 28
"Mama?"
Brenda looked up from her place on the couch to see Katie standing at
the foot of the stairs looking uncertainly at her.
"Katie, c’mere sweetie." Katie ran to her mother and hopped on her lap.
"What’s wrong honey? Can’t you sleep?"
"Uh-uh." She said, shaking her head back and forth.
"How come?"
"Mama, how come Daddy doesn’t live with us anymore?"
"Well Daddy and Mama had a fight and Mama decided that she didn’t want
Daddy to live with us anymore."
"Why?"
"Daddy said some things that hurt Mama a lot."
"Did he say he was sorry?"
"Well yes he did."
"Then you should let him come home."
"Sweetie sometimes, for grown-ups, saying you’re sorry isn’t enough."
"Do you still love Daddy?"
"Yes I do. Very much."
"Then you should talk it out. That’s what you always tell Stone and Sam
to do when they fight."
Brenda looked at her little girl. Maybe she was right. Smiling, she
brushed a lock of hair from her forehead. "When did you get so smart?"
"Daddy says I get it from you." She grinned impishly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brenda knocked on the door of the apartment above Luke’s. After her
little talk with Katie last night she had lain awake most of the night
wondering is she was doing the right thing divorcing Sonny. Near dawn
she had decided to try and talk it out with him. It wasn’t going to be
easy but she was willing to give it a shot. The door opened then and
she was faced with Sonny.
"Hi."
"Hi."
"Sonny can we talk?"
Ch 29
"Yeah sure. Please come in." Sonny stood to the side and let her enter
into the apartment. She sat down on the couch after shedding her
jacket. "I checked on Faith this morning. Bobbie says she’s doing
better all the time and might even get to come home soon."
"That’s great. But you didn’t need to come all the way over here to
tell me that."
"I didn’t. Sonny, Katie was talking to me last night and for a little
girl she’s really smart. She reminded me that I always tell Stone and
Sam when they fight. That they should talk it out. I think that’s what
we need to do to."
"Where do you want to start?"
"With the fact that I accept your apology."
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
"Hey Mike, what’s up?"
"My daughter is upstairs talking to my son."
"Yeah? That’s good. Maybe they’ll come to the party together tonight."
"Oh is that tonight? I forgot."
"You’re still coming, aren’t you? After all your daughter in law
supplied the idea for this shindig."
"I still can’t believe you and Laura are getting a divorce."
"Hey she sent me the papers not the other way around."
"I know it’s just that I thought you and Laura would be together
forever."
"Didn’t we all?" Luke said thinking about his wedding day.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~
"You do?"
"Yeah. I was way too hard on you and I’m sorry. I know you didn’t mean
it when you said you thought I was a bad mother."
"Does this mean you don’t want a divorce?"
"Yes but I’m still really pissed at you It’ll take some time to get
over it But I’m willing to try. I still love you. Can we try again?"
Ch. 30
Sonny grabbed Brenda and wrapped his arms around her. They were both
crying now.
"Sweetheart, of course we can try again!! I love you soo much!! You'll
never know how much I love you and how sorry I am for what I said and
did to you."
Brenda silently shuddered as she remembered what she did all those years
ago.
~~~~ "Well it seems you have two choices, Mrs. Corinthos. Either you
give us, what we want from you, or your husband is a dead man."
Brenda stood stone faced looking at the three men sitting before her.
She knew what she had to do, all though the thought sickened her more
than anything.
"Alright. I'll do it."
"Good. NOw shall we take our little party into another room?" ~~~~~
Brenda tried to shake the memory from her head as she clung to Sonny for
dear life.
~~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~
Three weeks later Sonny was still living above Luke's, but he spent most
of his time at their new place. Brenda had picked out a beautiful old
victorian house and the Corinthos family had spent the last two weeks
moving in.
Although things were still not the same between them, Sonny and Brenda
were making huge progress.
"Dad!!!!!" Stone said as he ran up to hud his dad.
"Hey Stone!! Where is everyone??" He asked looking around the huge
living room.
"Sam and Katie are with Grandpa and Mom's upstairs with Maddie. You know
that we get to bring home Faith tommorrow!!"
"So I hear!! That's great!! I bet you guys can't wait to get her here?"
"Yeah. Dad? When are you going to move back home? I mean are you and mom
still mad at each other?"
"Stone, your dad and I aren't mad at each other, we just have some stuff
to work through." Brenda said walking down the stairs holding a fussy
Maddie.
"Oh. Well, can I go play?"
"Sure." Brenda watched her son run out of the room and then looked at
her estranged husband.
"Sonny, are you going to be at the hospital when I take Faith home
tomorrow?"
"I was planning on it. Why? Don't you want me there?"
"Actually, I was thinking that tommorrow could be a coming home for
everyone. what I'm trying to say is, I want you to move back home. The
kids miss you...and I miss you too."
@@@@@@@@@@@@
Across town two men sat opposite each other.
"So you're sure this is going to work?"
"Of course I am. When she sees me, she is going to panic. He has no idea
what his little angelic wife was doing that night, and when he finds
out, it'll kill him. Literaly."
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