Britt?
By Suzy
(It's gym class, and Daria and Jane are not in a activity, so they stand
on the sidelines watching the cheerleaders, a whole bunch of mindless
Brittanys. They watch Brittany as she bursts into tears while speaking
to the head cheerleader. Brittany walks over to them.)
BRITTANY: (Stands next to Daria and Jane, just crying. Daria and Jane
say nothing.) Well aren't you going to ask me why I am crying?!
JANE: No.
DARIA: It wasn't our intention.
BRITTANY: Well it should be!
DARIA: Why?
BRITTANY: Because its about Lawndale! (sobs)
JANE: Exactly.
BRITTANY: (Is really sobbing. Its starting to annoy Daria)
DARIA: (Sighs) All right. Why do you weep?
BRITTANY: I am off the team!!! (Cries even louder so her eye makeup is
running)
JANE: Isn't that a good thing?
BRITTANY: No! Its awful! (Kevin approaches, the lunch bell rings)
JANE: Well, as much as I'd like to stay to discuss the loss of The Gity
Girls, its time for lunch! (goes to cafeteria)
KEVIN: (not even noticing shes crying, to Brittany) Hey Babe!
BRITTANY: Argh! (Hits Kevin with her purse and stomps off to lunch)
KEVIN: Ow! (To Daria) Whats with her?
DARIA: She just got booted off the cheerleading team.
KEVIN: Well how was I supposed to know that?
(Cut to the lunchroom, with Brittany eating her lunch, sobbing. Daria
approaches)
DARIA: Umm... (she feels uncomfortable asking Brittany something) Do you
know where Jane is?
BRITTANY: She went to the art room. The art teacher wants to talk to
her.
DARIA: Its probably about her "meaning of life" painting.
BRITTANY: Oh, yeah. I think I saw that.
DARIA: (suprised Brittany understood) Thats Jane for you.
BRITTANY: Like, catch you later. See ya Daria. (she gets up to throw
away the wrappers from her bagged lunch. Daria is surprised to see
Brittany is wearing bell bottom jeans and high heeled clogs. Brittany
pulls out her ponytail holders, letting her yellow hair loose. Quinn's
group approaches)
SANDY: Like, where DID you get those clogs, Brittany?
BRITTANY: Like, its Britt.
DARIA: Britt? Don't make me si...
STACY: Ohhhhh my Gosh, those earings are soooo Madonna.
SANDY: Like, let me guess, you, like, got those at Boston Store.
BRITTANY: Yes! At the adults section! Can you believe it! Not even
pre-miss!
(All the girls laugh, except Quinn, who is jeulous.)
STACY: You are sooo cute Britt!
QUINN and DARIA: Excuse me?
(Cut to the Morgendorfer's table durring dinner)
QUINN: And then she said "call me Britt." And they said she was sooo
Madonna! Can you believe it!
JAKE: No! They would say that girl looked like that wild Madonna?! No
way!
QUINN: Daaaaaaaad! Your missing the point!
DARIA: Theres a point?
HELEN: Honey, you can't ALAWAYS be the center of attention. (A car horn
is heard)
DARIA: Thats Trent. Gotta Go.
QUINN: You have a date! Oh My God! You have a date and I don't! (buries
face in hands)
HELEN: Aw, Honey! (glares at Daria)
DARIA: Calm down, I am just getting a ride to Janes.
QUINN: Oh. (is smiling again)
DARIA: (Sighs, walking out the door. She gets into Trents Car. Hes
fallen asleep at the wheel. She honks the horn to wake him.)
TRENT: (Waking up) Oh. Hey Daria.
DARIA: Hi Trent. Well, lets go.
TRENT: Umm, where?
DARIA: To Janes, remember.
TRENT: Oh yeah.
(Cut to Janes room, where Jane is painting a morbid picture of Daria)
DARIA: Can I stop frowning now?
JANE: Almost. (3 seconds pass) Now.
DARIA: Let me see. (looks a painting) Not bad.
JANE: Want it?
DARIA: Sure. Mom has alaways wanted a painting of me to hang over the
mantel.
JANE: Somehow I don't think this is what she had in mind.
DARIA: If she doesn't take it, she'll think shes lowering my
self-esteem. She'd never refuse.
JANE: What self-esteem? (adds more black to the rain clouds)
(Cut to the next day at lunch. Brittany is sitting with the fashion
club, while Quinn wanders, looking for a seat. She approaches Daria and
Jane)
QUINN: Can I sit here?
JANE: With your geeky cousin?
QUINN: Why not. My whole popular life has been thrown away, anyways.
DARIA: Too bad. It was so fun watching you be admiered everyday by boys
who flunked 3rd grade science.
JANE: Try 1rst grade spelling.
DARIA: Anyways, soon, you'll be vice-president of the fashion club
again.
QUINN: You think?
DARIA: I know.
QUINN: You know Daria, sometimes I am GLAD your my sister. (Sandy was
dumping her lunch in a nearby garbage can and overheard. She gasps.)
QUINN: (realizing her mistake) I mean cousin!
JANE: (pretending to think its touching) Do you two "cousins" have
matching dresses?
QUINN: (lightly grinning) No!
(focuss on Brittany. Cheerleader Captain approaches.)
CHEERLEADING CAPTAIN: Brittany? We changed our minds. We NEED you on the
team!
BRITTANY: (rips off jeans so we see her cheerleading skirt)
YEEEEEEEEEES!!!
THE END